


The Day We Met

by Beautyandlove



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: AU, Law Student Alec Lightwood, Linguistics Professor Magnus Bane, M/M, Neighbours
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-04-03 17:23:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 134,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14000943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beautyandlove/pseuds/Beautyandlove
Summary: “What?” a scratchy but velvety voice hissed with such intensity and force that it made Alec flinch.“What the hell is wrong with you?” Alec breathed, wincing as the pain in his nose and right eye sharpened. Screw politeness, Alec thought suddenly. “Do you have any idea what time it is?”orNeighbour Malec AU where Alec is a sleep deprived law student and Magnus is a heartbroken linguistics professor.





	1. Chapter 1

_I told you to be patient_  
_I told you to be fine_  
_I told you to be balanced_  
_I told you to be kind_  
_Now all your love is wasted?_  
_Then who the hell was I?_  
_Now I’m breaking at the bridges_  
_And at the end of all your lines_  
_Who will love you?_  
_Who will fight?_  
_Who will fall far behind?_

Alec groaned, carelessly tossing the covers off himself to get dressed, anger and frustration clearly getting to him. It was 3 AM and someone, he assumed his next door neighbour, had been playing _Skinny Love_ on repeat for the past two hours, apparently not caring about the people in the building who were trying to sleep, or inferring that people might have lives to get on with in the morning.

“ _Like myself_ ” Alec muttered bitterly as he, now dressed in a black t-shirt and loose-fitting black sweat trousers, made his way through his completely empty kitchen, through his living room and to his front door, still muttering quietly to himself as he left his apartment. “-the most important exam so far during this course and now I won’t be able to think properly because someone is keeping me up with that God awful wailing voice. Who even does that? I should never have moved out of my parents’ place to study, that was clearly my words idea to date. And how am I already sick of this this neighbour, I haven’t even met them-” Alec ranted quietly to himself, feeling his pulse quicken as he continuously triggered his irritation by voicing the complaints out loud.

He was seriously going to give this neighbour a piece of his mind, in a polite, clam and adult manner, _of course_ \- Alec might be sleep deprived and angry, but he wasn’t an asshole.

Hesitantly and a little bit nervously, Alec peaked his head out of his door, his eyes dancing over the furnishings in the dark hallway as he tried to locate which door the music was blasting through - Alec would be lying if he said that it was hard, because it wasn’t, music that loud could probably be heard from outer space.

The music undoubtedly appeared to be coming from the apartment to Alec’s left, and as he marched over to it in his tacky clothing and banged unnecessarily loudly on the door with the name M. Bane written on it, he was suddenly surprised that no one else had come to complain yet - or maybe someone had but the person, M. Bane, hadn’t bothered to listen to them. Either way, Alec believed that the situation was something he really should not have to deal with.

_What was it with people and lacking a basic modicum of common sense?_

Lost in thought, Alec was startled when the heavy wooden door swung open in his face, literally making him stumble backwards, his right hand coming up to rub his nose which throbbed so badly that he, hyperbolically, thought it might fall off. Alec kept his eyes closed as he scrunched his face in pain, feeling a black eye coming on as he hissed to himself.

“What?” a scratchy but velvety voice hissed with such intensity and force that it made Alec flinch.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Alec breathed, wincing as the pain in his nose and right eye sharpened. Screw politeness, Alec thought suddenly. “Do you have any idea what time it is?” he asked, opening his eyes in order to give the stranger an angry look. The second Alec opened his eyes, however, that look of anger quickly vanished, instantly replaced by one of concern as Alec furrowed his brows at the man standing in front of him.

The man, who’s name he presumed was M. Bane, was standing elegantly by his door, his arms crossed over his shirt clad chest and the positioning showed off his biceps as the shirt tightened around his arms. He was about an inch shorter than Alec, the taller man noted, and despite that scratchy voice that had greeted him mere seconds earlier, his face looked kind - vulnerable even.

The man had black makeup lines running down his cheeks, and his eyes were red and puffy, but as Alec looked at him he couldn’t help but notice that he looked absolutely breathtaking. _Beautiful_ , Alec thought instantly, briefly and unwaveringly wondering what had made him cry.

The man looked at him for a moment, quickly bringing one hand to his face, religiously wiping at his stained cheeks before turning around and walking back into his apartment, wobbling unsteadily as he marched away from where Alec was standing. Alec was left gaping by the open door, confused and unsure how to proceed as he squinted his eyes in an attempt to look inside the other man’s apartment.

 _Screw it_ , he thought and followed after him, his bare feet loud as they carried him further inside.

The music was louder than before as he continued into the apartment, uncertain how to proceed and tell the stranger to turn down the music so he could sleep now that he knew the man was upset about something. Suddenly, Alec’s distant train of thought was interrupted as the man, now much further inside the apartment than Alec, turned to him again, holding a bottle of what Alec assumed was vodka lazily in one hand.

“What’s the point of anything?” M. Bane slurred dramatically before taking a large gulp of whatever liquid was in the large see-through bottle, although judging by the strong smell in the apartment, Alec’s guess that it was Vodka seemed accurately correct.

Confused and admittedly terrified, Alec stood there awkwardly - in the middle of a stranger’s apartment at 2 in the morning - the loud music hurting his eardrums as he looked around the apartment, trying to muster up the courage to ask the man to turn down the music, but instead getting much too distracted by the large pieces of art hanging on the walls and the expensive-looking furniture filling out the sitting room area.

To Alec’s surprise, however, as he let his eyes travel to the man in front of him, he noticed that he was still looking at him with those tear-stained cheeks, looking as stunning as ever in that tight shirt, swaying that bottle of vodka a bit too carelessly in his hand. Alec’s heart clenched in his chest when their eyes locked, Alec sucking in a sharp breath as he looked down at his feet, clearing his throat phatically.

“Are you—are you okay?” he asked hesitantly, regretting his brief moment of bravery almost the second the question left his mouth, watching in horror how the other man’s eyes turned an even darker shade of brown.

“Leave” M. Bane breathed threateningly and Alec noticed his eyes welling up, the unshed tears waiting to fall as Alec continued to observe him in silence. “I don’t care who you are or what you want. Leave. Me. Alone” M. Bane begged hoarsely, his tone trembling and constricted as if he were trying to keep the tears from running.

Taking one last look at the man, Alec obliged, quickly turning around and hurrying out of the apartment as if his life depended on it. He made his way back to his own apartment in confusion, habitually getting the key out of his pocket and unlocking the door in a haze of emotions. _Jesus_ , he thought, _I forgot to ask him to turn down the music and now the entire encounter is nothing but a weird instnace of me imposing on a sad neighbour in the middle of the night - how incredibly inappropriate._

A few minutes later, as Alec once again lay down in his bed, the music still roaring from the wall behind him, he was - to his own surprise - significantly less annoyed with his neighbour despite realising that he was probably not going to get much sleep that night - not only because of the music but because his heart couldn’t seem to settle in his chest. He almost felt happy.

For what felt like hours, as Alec tossed and turned in a useless attempt to try and fall asleep, seemingly unable to get the image of M. Bane out of his mind, wondering to himself - as he had before - what had made his next door neighbour cry.

Whatever or whoever it was, Alec decided, did not deserve him.

Little did Alec know that behind the wall, from where the music was coming, Magnus Bane was sitting on the floor in his own bedroom, heartbrokenly packing all of Camille’s clothes into a suitcase, shoulders shaking with quiet sobs as he cried by himself and for himself until the morning sun reminded him that another day had begun.

..............

Alec hadn’t gotten much sleep that night - actually, he hadn’t gotten any sleep the previous night - yet somehow he had not completely messed up his exam which was, by any standard, a miracle. Groaning quietly to himself however, Alec was exhausted, and as he climbed the stairs to the second floor where his apartment was located, he feared he might pass out in the process, feeling a headache coming on as he closed his eyes.

Pathetically, it took much longer than it should have for him to make it to the landing, and as he turned in the direction of his apartment, his eyebrows scrunched together in endearment at the scene that greeted him.

On the ground, by the door with M. Bane written on it, was M. Bane with his head resting on his knees, his body hunched in such a way that Alec figured he might be asleep on the floor. Alec frowned as he made his way towards the man, his backpack slung over his right shoulder as he looked at him, wondering why on earth he was sleeping on the dirty floor.

Curious and severely sleep deprived, and as he would argue later also very delirious, Alec walked over to the man and nudged his shiny boot covered foot with his own, clearly startling him as his back snapped straight, his posture suddenly rigid and impressively intimidating. M. Bane’s head shot up and he looked around angrily, the makeup from the night before gone and his dark hair hanging down his forehead, his tired eyes eventually resting on Alec’s shoe clad feet. Alec watched in pure amusement as the other man’s eyes traveled from Alec’s knees upwards until they met his gaze, a ghosting of a smirk appearing on M. Bane’s face as he raised his brows expectantly.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” M. Bane asked as he pushed himself off the ground and steadied himself using the wall behind him, swaying on the spot - he was seemed properly hung over.

When Alec took a bit too long to respond, the man further straightened his back and to Alec’s surprise, he was taller than he had looked 11 hours ago. He noticed that M. Bane was dressed in the same maroon silk shirt he had been wearing when they last met, and Alec smirked when he saw that his black trousers had glitter in them and that his boots were glittery as well. I’m sensing a theme, Alec mused to himself as he gave him a small smile, glancing around the hallway.

“You were on the floor. Are you okay?” Alec inquired slowly, giving the man another a once over before locking their eyes once again, the beauty of the man admittedly overwhelming to Alec’s post-exam dazed mind.

“That question sounds familiar coming from your lips. I do believe you were the strange man in my apartment last night, were you not? I may have been very drunk but I would recognise that face anywhere” the man flirted, his tone intelligent as he held Alec’s gaze with a confidence so oozing it left Alec blushing.

“Yeah-” Alec trailed off and furrowed his brows, biting his bottom lip in embarrassment. “Look, I-”

“You probably wanted me to turn down the music. I assure you I wouldn’t have listened to you if you had asked, but you didn’t, did you darling?” M. Bane continued, his brown eyes never leaving Alec who was caught off guard by the bluntness of the statement, gaping in surprise at that term of endearment having left the stranger’s lips.

“Yeah—okay, I should probably get going” Alec muttered softly, continuing on the path to his apartment - much too tired to deal with this. Alec had never been good at flirting and he desperately needed to get away from the startlingly handsome man in front of him before he made an even bigger fool of himself.

“Wait” the man, God he really ought to ask for his name, said, raising his voice. “Could I borrow your phone? All my things have been locked inside the apartment since eight this morning” when Alec didn’t respond, the man rolled his eyes and walked towards where Alec was standing quietly by his door, his key already inside the lock as M. Bane continued. “To call the landlord” he clarified and Alec, without hesitation, reached into the pocket and handed him his phone, accidentally touching his hand as he did so. His hand, Alec noticed fondly, was warm and soft and his nails were painted a dark maroon colour, perfectly matching his shirt.

“Thank you” M. Bane exclaimed breathlessly, typing in a number without having to think for a second.

“Does this happen often, then?” Alec couldn’t stop himself from asking, a lopsided smile spreading across his face as he watched M. Bane’s nose scrunch in confusion.

“What?“ the glittery man responded, holding the phone to his year.

“You knew his number like the back of your hand” Alec pointed out, earning a small smile from the man opposite him, his smile warm and Alec realised he wanted to see it again.

“The perks of having an eidetic memory, I guess” he said casually, smiling more widely at Alec before turning away, clearly hearing something on the other end of the line.

Alec took this opportunity to really take a look at the man in front of him, and quite frankly, Alec would be lying if he said that he wasn’t the most stunning man he’d every laid his eyes on. His black shiny hair was messily sticking out all over the place, as if he had been running his hands thorough it repeatedly. His face, now without any traces of makeup, was gorgeous and his olive skin framed his glowing brown eyes magically. Alec noticed how gracefully his lips moved as he talked to the landlord on the phone, and he found it hard to look away - every inch of the man before him seemed to be comprised of sheer perfection.

He looked at his own clothes again and without truly realising why, he felt self conscious - what excuse did he have to look the way he did when someone could look like that?

Despite his stunning appearance, and despite the small smile Alec had seen, there was something off about the man. Not in a bad way but he seemed complicatedly layered, like something was being covered up. Alec thought back to 11 hours ago, recalling the way his eyes had been tearing up, the way he had asked him to leave his apartment with that quavering voice, the way the sad music had been blasting through the walls. Alec was no expert when it came to relationships, only really knowing what Izzy had occasionally told him, but even he could recognise full-blown heartbreak when he saw it.

“Here” the man said as he handed the phone back to him, startling Alec. Alec blinked at him and prayed he hadn’t noticed him starring as he accepted the phone and turned to walk into his apartment, sighing in defeat when his feet refused to carry him any further.

M. Bane had said that he had been sitting outside his apartment without anything since eight in the morning, hadn’t he?

“Are you hungry?” Alec therefore blurted out, mentally slapping himself at his very untactful way of conversing with people.

He really should get out more often, he thought to himself.

“You want to know if I’m _hungry_?” the man chuckled, tilting his head perplexedly.

Alec closed his eyes in embarrassment and opened his backpack, hastily pulling out three protein bars that Jace had gifted him the day before. “Here,” Alec held the bars out for M. Bane to take. “You can have one, or two, or all of them if you want. I don’t like them that much. My brother gave them to me yesterday, so please, take them so I don’t have to lie and tell him I ate them when I will just end up throwing them away if you don’t take them” he rambled clumsily, relaxing a bit when M. Bane accepted the snacks and looked at their ingredients.

“Thank you,“ he said, handing all but one back to Alec. “I’m allergic to nuts. Death by protein bars would be a very tragic way to go, don’t you think?” he laughed lightly, his eyes genuinely shining for the first time and Alec noticed that his white teeth sparkled in sharp contrast to his pink lips.

Alec chuckled as well and realised that he desperately wanted to hear M. Bane’s laugh again - it was strangely calming. “Yeah, please don’t die. People wouldn’t like me very much if they knew I killed my neighbour the day after moving in” he trailed off, glancing at the man through his eyelashes. “What is your name? M. Bane must be short for something?” he nodded his head towards the man’s front door, raising his eyebrows in question.

“Magnus” he said and held out his hand for Alec to shake.

‘Alexander” Alec mimicked and shook his hand, blushing as he did so. “But people call me Alec”

“Well, thank you Alexander for helping me out and for feeding me. I appreciate it” he put his hand on Alec’s upper arm and Alec - just like that - realised with a slight wave of panic that he was screwed. “The landlord will be here shortly, don’t feel like you need to stay and keep me company” he continued quietly, Alec noticing that he almost looked a bit sad as he said it.

“I don’t want to sound like a broken record, but-” Alec took a short breath and cleared his throat. “-are you okay? You seemed pretty upset about something yesterday. I know it’s none of my business and we don’t know each other bu-”

“I walked in on my girlfriend having sex with a man in my bed last night” he said and his gaze fell towards the carpeted hallway floor, Alec hearing him swallow loudly before continuing, as if he had a hard time getting the words out. “I loved her so much and she just laughed in my face and left with the man. She came back this morning to pick up her stuff. She told me to wait outside in the hallway and proceeded to close the door behind her, leaving all my things locked inside the apartment. What a _sweetheart_ , right?” he laughed bitterly, looking anywhere but at Alec.

“What a bitch” Alec exclaimed angrily, Magnus’s eyes shooting right to his face, eyes wide. Realising what he had said, Alec quickly moved his hand to Magnus’s shoulder, not really knowing what to do with himself. “God, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. That was way out of line” he panicked, preparing for Magnus to slap him or something. Instead, much to his own surprise, he felt Magnus’s eyes burn into his own with an intensity that was foreignly intimate to Alec.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” Magnus wondered out loud, suddenly looking much younger.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You don’t know me. I kept you up all night. Knowing myself, I was probably an ass to you and now you’re feeding me and being really nice to me. Why?” Magnus looked rigid, almost as if he was anticipating being slapped, his jaw set tight and his eyes filling with moisture. Alec was taken aback, confused as to why Magnus seemed to be so unfamiliar with kindness - it was normal, helping someone who needed it, right?

“You just-” Alec commenced tiredly. “-you looked like you could use some kindness. That’s all.” Alec gave him a quick smile, squeezing his shoulder before letting his hand drop to his side, nervously fiddling with the hem of his jacket.

Magnus blinked rapidly and Alec noticed that he was fiddling with a spiderweb cuff that was attached to his earlobe, his disposition reminding him of the man he had met at 2 in the morning. Feeling the need to change the subject, not really feeling comfortable with this type of intimate conversation with someone he had just me and imagining Magnus felt the same way, he laughed awkwardly and looked around, his gaze lingering on the various pots and plants scattered around the admittedly fancy hallway.

“What do you do for a living, then?” Alec asked sporadically, not really minding spending more time with Magnus since the landlord was going to be arriving at any minute to unlock his apartment. Magnus looked at him, his eyes big and filled with something Alec couldn’t quite put his finger on as he answered.

“I’m a lecturer at N-“ his replay was cut short by the sound of heavy footsteps coming form the staircase, and just as they turned to face the sound, the landlord, Alec recognised, jogged towards them, key in hand.

“Here you go, Mr. Bane” he said as he swiftly unlocked the apartment, swinging the door open. “Maybe you should consider giving your spare key to a neighbor since this isn’t exactly the first time you’ve locked yourself out of your apartment” the landlord, a man in his fifties, said, laughing as he did so.

“Thank you, Harold” Magnus smiled sweetly at him, nodding a curtesy as the landlord, Harold, walked away, leaving the two men alone yet again.

“Well-“ Alec gestured with his hand to Magnus’s door. “-problem solved” he smiled again, turning around and walking towards his door a few feet away.

“Will I see you around?” Magnus asked.

“We are neighbours, aren’t we?” Alec answered coyly, turning around to get one last look at Magnus who seemed deep in thought, blankly looking back at Alec before snapping out of whatever universe he had escaped to in his mind. Nodding, Magnus walked towards his apartment, shooting Alec one last smile before disappearing inside, the closing of the door echoing in the quiet hallway.

Alec walked into his own apartment and closed the door behind himself, letting out a deep breath before resting his head against the door. Without thinking, which seemed to be his go-to move recently, Alec opened his backpack and pulled out a pen and a notebook, pressing his lips together into a shy smile.

Later that day, Magnus was surprised to find a piece of paper on his doormat, his face twisted in curiosity as he lifted the crumpled note with its uneven handwriting closer to his eyes.

_Dear Magnus,_

_Next time you’re going to be playing one song all night, text me so we can pick a song together since it’s basically going to be played in both our apartments. :)_

_Also, I just wanted to let you know, however inappropriate it may be for a stranger to say, that you deserve to be happy. Everyone does, right?_

_My number: 07913576643_

_:),_

_Alec_

Magnus pulled his phone out of his pocket and swiftly entered Alec’s number into his contacts, sending a quick text as a response, suddenly feeling a little less heartbroken.

 **Magnus:** Thank you, Alexander. I will let you know. And if your brother ever gives you more of those protein bars, you know where to find me. You are very kind, Alexander, and therefore you deserve to be happy, too. :), Magnus, your loud next-door neighbour P.S, I’m sorry about your eye, I could see a bruise beginning to form, my bad. I shouldn’t have thrown the door open so quickly. D.S.

Magnus had barely put down his phone when he received a text in return, his heart hammering unfamiliarly in his chest as he read the tiny words on the screen.

 _Alexander:_ See you around, Magnus! :)

And just like that, a very special bond between two very special people was formed, one that would change their lives inevitably and forever, not that they knew that yet of course.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Skinny Love by Birdy.


	2. Chapter 2

Alec had not seen Magnus around, much to his own disappointment.

It had been a week since the incident with Magnus and Alec had not heard anything else form the man. Was he disappointed? Most assuredly. Surprised? Not in the slightest.

Granted, Alec hadn’t contacted Magnus either so he had no reason to mope, but he couldn’t really help it. Alec had quickly realised that he had gotten hung up on his beautiful and troubled neighbour, there was something about the man that had wedged itself into his life, leaving him speechless for the first time in a while - Magnus intrigued him, fascinating Alec to no end which was strange since not many things, or people, did. It intrigued Alec that he felt intrigued by Magnus

It was 11.30 PM on a Thursday when Alec’s phone finally buzzed, a text from Magnus popping up on his screen, brightening his dark bedroom. Alec squinted and reached for his phone on his nightstand, curious yet strangely worried that the gorgeous man was going to play music all night again.

 **Magnus:** Heads up, had a crappy day and will be binge drinking and playing music all night. Any suggestions? (Also I apologise in advance, and yes I’m drunk right now)

Alec gaped at his phone. This man was just too much and Alec absolutely loved it.

Sighing, he lay his head back down and closed his eyes to think of an appropriate song. Despite what people believed, Alec was not heartless and boring - far from it - and music meant the world to him. Huffing out a tired breath, his mind kept turning trying to think of the perfect song, ideally something that would make Magnus’s horrible day a bit less insufferable while simultaneously not make Alec want to jump out of his own window when played repeatedly.

After a few minutes of tactful deliberation, Alec picked up his phone and texted Magnus back, impatiently awaiting the music to fill his ears as his eyes travelled his ceiling, taking in the chandelier that had been hung earlier that day and the small indent from where a champagne cork had been recklessly fired by Jace. As if on queue, approximately 30 seconds later, the first notes of his chosen song filled the empty apartment and Alec smiled to himself, closing his eyes and sighing somewhat contently.

 _I don’t wanna die or fade away_  
_I just wanna be someone_  
_I just wanna be someone_  
_Dive and disappear without a trace_  
_I just wanna be someone_  
_Well, doesn’t everyone?_

The song made Alec incredibly happy, despite the fact that he hadn’t ever been somebody to anyone. He wanted to be though, and he supposed that might be why he loved the song so much. It gave him some crazy, delusional sense of hope.

Unfortunately for his love life however, Alec mostly kept to himself since he was extremely busy with schoolwork, at least that’s what he told everyone who asked, anyway. Truthfully though, he enjoyed his own company more than anyone else’s, and when he did have free time, because he did attend law school and he was actually incredibly busy, he wanted to feel tranquil and content, not be pressed up against some wall at a college party with people he hoped he’d never see again after finishing his degree - despite how narcissistic and counterproductive that might be.

After having met Magnus however, something had changed in the way Alec perceived his time spend alone, almost wishing he could spend it with Magnus and get to know him better instead. Alec thought Magnus seemed rather lonely living by himself now that his girlfriend was out of the picture, and Alec hadn’t heard or seen anyone come by or visit him during the past week. Alec himself had even had company, though not by his own choice. Izzy and his mother had stopped by four times to help him decorate, despite his many attempts and pleads for them to stop.

Simply, there was something about Magnus, about the way he held himself, about the way he had looked so heartbroken and lost, about the fact that he needed to binge drink, that made Alec worry, however strange that might sound. So, if anyone were to ask in the future why Alec had ended up in Magnus’s bed that night, that was what he was going to tell them - that he had been worried about him. It was basically what had happened anyway, depending on how one looked at it, so fairly, it couldn’t be considered a complete lie.

——-

Alec hadn’t realised he had fallen asleep until he was awoken by a loud banging noise which somehow had managed to overpower his song choice that was still continuously blasting through his neighbour’s speakers. After just a few seconds however, there was another crash and Alec quickly sat up in his bed, groggily looking around and trying to assess the situation.

Without a shadow of a doubt, Alec realised that the crashes had come from Magnus’s apartment, and because of his somewhat creepy and unjustified concern for the man, he decided to get out of bed and put on some clothes. Alec’s apartment was freezing and dark, and he managed to walk into four decorative tables and one pile of cushions on his way to his door, groaning irritably to himself since he had imperatively instructed the lovely women in his life not to go overboard - they had and now Alec, like he suspected, was paying the price.

“Damn you, Izzy” Alec hissed when he stabbed his toe against yet another side table as he turned and entered his small entryway, hastily putting on his shoes in the process. As he grabbed his keys and exited his apartment, the music stopped abruptly and Alec froze in his tracks, his breathing somewhat uneven as he glanced at his watch. It was four in the morning and as he started making his way towards Magnus’s door, too delirious from sleep to consider how even remotely inappropriate this might come across, he came to a sudden halt in front of the other man’s door, second guessing himself before knocking pathetically quietly in case Magnus was asleep.

Unsurprisingly, he was not.

“Coming” a tired voice yelled and Alec could hear light footsteps approaching, the noise echoing in the quiet hallway and Alec, once again, wondered why none of their neighbours had come to complain. The door opened shortly after and Alec felt as if his lungs had collapsed, suddenly unable to breathe as his eyes landed on Magnus’s figure. He looked utterly exhausted, clad in only a black tank top and a pair of sweat trousers, barefoot on the hardwood floors. His face was blotchy, streaks of black makeup running down his face and his hair was tussled, wild and untamed in the most attractive way.

“Alexander?” he asked, raising his eyebrows in question, clearly not expecting his neighbour to visit at such an ungodly hour. Alec cleared his throat and licked his lips awkwardly, desperately trying to look anywhere but at Magnus.

“I heard a crash, are you okay?” Alec asked hesitantly and despite his best efforts, he could not to stop his eyes from giving the other man a once over - he didn’t look physically hurt but his tear stained cheeks told a different story. “Do you need help with anything?” he continued when Magnus didn’t answer.

“I’m sorry if I woke you up, I’ve had a rough day and-” he trailed off and looked up at Alec, eyes brimming with unshed tears, kaleidoscopically bright as the shorter man averted his eyes.

Nervously nibbling at his bottom lip, Alec had no idea what to do but the instant Magnus’s silent tears turned into louder cries, Alec’s heart broke and something in his brain must have been severely damaged in the process because without warning and proper deliberation, Alec stepped forward and brought the man into his arms, holding him close as he cried.

Magnus smelled of alcohol, that was saliently noticeable, but as Alec held him he could make out the sandalwood scent of his shampoo, his cologne, and something else which Alec couldn’t quite put his finger on, something that seemed unique to Magnus.

“Shh. It’s going to be okay, whatever it is, it’s going to be okay.” Alec muttered into his hair as he gently pushed them inside Magnus’s apartment, not wanting to awake their neighbours - although if they’d slept through the blasting music, they could sleep through anything. ”I’m sorry for whatever upset you. Please don’t cry, don’t waste your tears, Magnus” Alec begged softly, knowing that what he was saying made no sense but realising that if Magnus didn’t stop crying, Alec might join in.

It was a new experience for Alec, holding a grown man as he cried his eyes out, and as they slowly made it into Magnus’s sitting room - which looked identical to Alec’s but mirrored - Alec couldn’t stop the gasp that left his mouth when he took in the scene before him. Two bookshelves were laying face down on the floor as if someone had pushed them, and beneath them was a mess made up of shattered glass and probably at least 50 books. What caught Alec’s eye, however, and enabled him to connect the dots, was a shattered urn laying near their feet, ash spilling out through the broken shards.

“It’s a mess, I know. My mother’s funeral was today and as I was putting the urn up on the shelf, my chair broke and everything fell with me, as you can see. Including her urn” Magnus explained and brought Alec back to the present, the taller man quickly distancing himself from Magnus, gripping his shoulders tightly and looking into his eye.

“I’m so sorry for your loss, Magnus” Alec breathed, holding Magnus gaze with his own. “Did you hurt yourself?” Alec wondered but Magnus just shook his head, turning slightly to examine the mess on the floor.

“Thank you” Magnus sniffled, bringing his thumb and index finger to wipe at his running nose, something Alec usually would regard as unsanitary but when Magnus did it, Alec’s heart throbbed with nothing but affection. “Now that you know that I’m not in any danger, you don’t have to stay. And sorry for getting your shirt wet, I don’t normally cry on my neighbours’ shoulders, I promise” Magnus whispered and gave Alec a small smile, wiping at his eyes.

“You sure? I’ll help you clean up, or I can stay if you just want some company? Sometimes being lonely in a quiet apartment can be surprisingly loud” Alec reasoned tentatively, appalled but no longer surprised at his own forwardness. Alec felt like he had to do something, he knew how awful it felt to lose someone and being alone with the crushing pain was not always very healthy, especially when one was a bit drunk and surrounded by broken glass. “Forgive me if I’m being too forward but what do you say, want to watch a move together? Something funny and silly and deal with the mess tomorrow?” Alec suggested, not really believing his own ears as he observed Magnus with tired eyes.

If Izzy knew what he was doing, she’d be both creeped out and proud and Alec wasn’t entirely sure if either was preferable.

Just as Alec was about to apologise for overstepping, Magnus turned to him with a genuine smile that lit up his entire face, laughing softly and shaking his head, running a hand through his hair.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this but sure, even though I barely know you. I really could use some company, so thank you, Alexander. You continue to surprise me’ Magnus said slowly, his voice significantly more confident now than before and Alec felt himsel smile, goofily and excitedly, his heart settled comfortably in his chest as he looked at Magnus.

——-

Alec and Magnus had quickly realised that it would be impossible to watch the movie in Magnus’s sitting room. Not only was his TV apparently underneath the fallen bookshelves, but the sofa had small shards of glass covering it, explaining why Alec had ended up in Magnus’s bed that night, or technically morning, watching ‘She’s the Man’ and eventually falling asleep on top of the covers, their knees barely touching as they both dosed off in time for the sun to start rising over the East River.

For the second time in twenty four hours, Alec startled awake, a high pitched squeal awaking him from his remarkably comfortable slumber.

“Shit, shit, shit shit-” he heard a voice mutter and Alec’s eyes widened when he realised where he was, sitting up slowly and rubbing his eyes, his vision focusing on Magnus’s bedroom. The walls were a deep navy blue matching the white king sized bed nicely and the TV they had been watching was propped on top a white set of drawers. Alec was astonished at how expensive everything looked, and how simple yet elegant the interior design was. Curious of the swearing however, he got out of bed and made his way towards the muttering voice, his bare feet moving almost soundlessly on the wooden floors.

“Magnus?” he called, making his way out of the bedroom and carefully avoiding stepping on the shattered glass, his eyes ranking around the room.

“In here” a voice called and just as Alec was about to enter the kitchen, Magnus appeared in the doorway, blood dripping from his right foot.

“What the hell happened?” Alec exclaimed, quickly making his way over to where Magnus was clutching the doorframe, eyes wide as he observed Magnus’s face.

“I walked in the glass” Magnus hissed, his cheeks red as if he were blushing. Alec found it utterly endearing, and he suspected that the man was much too cute for his own good.

“Sit down, let me see” Alec ordered imperatively and Magnus sat down on the floor, Alec following suit and taking Magnus’s bare foot in his hands, examining the open wound with a deep frown. “There doesn’t appear to be any glass left in there, but you should probably wash your foot, do you have any Detol?” Alec mumbled and lifted his gaze to Magnus, watching the other man through his eyelashes.

“How do you know this?” Magnus laughed, shaking his head in disbelief as he moved his hadn to cup his ankle.

“I’ve worked as a lifeguard every summer since I was like fourteen, you pick up a thing or two” Alec answered and winked openly at Magnus, furiously blushing when he saw Magnus’s surprised expression. Clumsily, Alec let go of his foot and jumped to his feet, reaching down his hand for Magnus to take.

“I’m really sorry about last night, I’m so embarrassed. It won’t happen again, it was just, well—you know-” he trailed off, gesturing to the disaster in his living room, his lips formed into a slight pout as he frowned at the mess. He really was adorable, Alec thought fondly to himself as he chuckled and looked down, catching a glimpse of his watch - it read 1.13 PM.

“Shit” he exclaimed and he could feel Magnus jump beside him. “I have class in half an hour” Alec muttered out loud as he turned to look at Magnus, eyes wide and searching.

“What time is it?” Magnus asked, the expression on his face worried as he stared at Alec.

“1.13,” Alec mumbled, desperately trying to remember where he had left his shoes the night before so he could leave and not be late for class - there was a visiting lecture from another department teaching them today and he could not be late, absolutely not.

“ _Shit_ ” Magnus yelled, his eyes as wide as Alec’s. “I have work” he all but hissed, looking around his apartment in shock before rushing towards his bedroom. “Shit, shit, shit-”.

———

Alec had left Magnus’s apartment at that moment, realising that Magnus would want him to and needing to get ready himself. He was certain he looked like a complete fool, bags under his eyes and hair completely wild and untamed from the lack of sleep the night before.

Eventually, after much too long of trying to navigate his way through his newly organised closet, Alec managed to leave his apartment, running all the way down the stairs and towards his university, quickly realising that he was not fit enough to make the run but concluding that he had no other choice. He supposed it was only fair though, the price he had to pay for having overslept because he spent the night in a strangers bed. Karma really was a heartless bitch sometimes, Alec reckoned bitterly as he finally approached the reception of the university.

Letting out a shuttered breath, Alec quickly climbed the stairs and made it into the lecture hall just as the clock was about to turn 1.45, letting out a breath he hadn’t realised he was holding as he slumped down into one of the uncomfortable seats. Mere seconds later, he could hear the heavy wooden door open again and as he proceeded to organise his computer and open the correct folder, a familiar voice echoed throughout the lecture hall, its prosody immediately snapping Alec out of what he was doing.

“Welcome students to this short, but very interesting, module on forensic linguistics. My name is Magnus Bane and I will be teaching you for the coming four weeks.”

Alec felt his heart drop as Magnus continued talking, his voice familiar and smooth and all Alec could think about was that he had held his professor tightly in his arms the previous night as he cried. Alec, hopefully quite discretely, was doing everything in his power to avoid being noticed by Magnus, slumping down further into his seat and bringing a hand to shield his face, distractedly hearing with a warm heart Magnus humming the lyrics to the song Alec had suggested last night.

Alec felt his breath hitch in his throat as he looked up from his hand, his gaze focusing on Magnus and his eyes widening when their eyes met. Alec would probably have laughed at the way Magnus’s mouth literally fell open if his own hadn’t been permanently gaping for the past minute or so.

Magnus looked away before Alec did and the taller man could hear him clear his throat quietly, the professor proceeding to limp around the classroom and handing out pieces of paper necessary for the upcoming lecture. As Magnus moved past Alec’s seat, he could hear the faint humming much more clearly, choking on the air that surrounded him when he heard Magnus gently pronounce the final line of the song, looking shyly down at Alec and muttering a shy and uncharacteristically quiet “thank you” before walking off, commencing the lecture.

 _I wanna be somebody to someone_  
_Someone to you_

As he kept observing Magnus, and as their eyes kept meeting, Alec realised with a burning feeling in his stomach and a bitter taste in his mouth, that he was already falling for Magnus and his undeniable charm. It had not been what Alec had planned, but it seemed that fate sometimes did its own thing.

Looking down at his notebook, Alec noticed that he had doodled around the edges of the page, small hearts and coal lined eyes scattering the college-lined paper and he bit his lip, looking up just in time to catch Magnus staring at him, eyes wide and smile bright.

Alec smiled back at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone To You by BANNERS.


	3. Chapter 3

Alec was confused as to why he felt so drawn to his neighbour turned teacher, aside from the obvious - he was easily the most beautiful man Alec had ever seen. It was strange and if he didn’t know better, which he did, he’d say that they had been destined to meet. After the bookshelves incident, and the lecture, Alec had approached Magnus and instead of rejection - because Magnus was technically his teacher now - Magnus had smiled at him, thanking him again for his help. Alec had even stayed with Magnus as he packed all his things into his messenger bag, the two men eventually ending up walking home together in a comfortable silence which was occasionally interrupted by them accidentally brushing shoulders making one, or the other, or both, laugh like nervous teenagers.

“You know” Magnus started. “I was not expecting to see you in that lecture hall” he laughed and looked over at Alec, his dark eyelashes casting shadows under his eyes in the dim hallway, glittering eyeliner sparklingly as he reached his apartment door, key in hand. Alec shook his head in disbelief as he chuckled to himself.

“I was not expecting you to teach that class, and the way you were limping, my God” he retorted jokingly, shooting Magnus a playful smirk before getting his own keys out and unlocking his apartment door.

“You wound me, Alexander!” Magnus exclaimed dramatically, putting a hand to his chest and laughing wholeheartedly in the processes.

Admittedly, Alec couldn’t help but join in, loving the sound of Magnus’s laughter. It was such a vast contrast to the man he had held yesterday and Alec decided without an once of hesitation that he would do everything in his power to be the person making Magnus laugh, and that whatever it may be, Alec would find a way to bring a smile to his face.

Magnus really was something special, and in that moment as his chest tightened with admiration for the other man, Alec realised how far down the rabbit hole he really was.

It’s been a week, get a grip, Alec thought to himself, a bit put off by his own feelings.

Unsurprisingly, Alec had never been a cheesy person, believing in romance or love at first sight and Magnus’s presence was not going to change that. However, Alec was smart and even he could not deny that there was something different about this situation.

There was something about the way the atmosphere shifted when Magnus smiled. Something about the way his hands moved when he talked, or how his jaw set when he thought no one was looking, or the way his breath hitched at the simplest gesture of kindness. It all made Alec think.

Magnus seemed to be a remarkable man, sensitive but authoritative, and Alec was not going to let his cold, stubborn heart tell him that he was making that up because sometimes one just knows, and Alec knew for certain this time that somehow he and Magnus would change each other’s lives.

It seemed inevitable, somehow.

Distantly, train of thought still fresh in his mind, Alec fixed his gaze on Magnus, raising his eyebrows slightly as the other man’s presence brought him back to the present.

“You doing anything tonight?” Alec asked, smiling softy at the way Magnus’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline, clearly surprised at the implicated invitation.

“Do I have any plans tonight?” Magnus asked, fingers playing with the spiderweb ear-cuff attached to his left ear, a perplexed expression covering his face as he looked into Alec’s eyes.

“I mean, I think you owe me for keeping me up all night. The least you can do is have some cheap takeout with me” Alec stated mater-of-factly, opening the door wider to indicate that Magnus should say yes, smiling widely when the other man’s face twisted into a lopsided grin.

“I must say Alexander, that is literally the most romantic way of asking someone out” Magnus answered, sarcasm dripping off every enunciated syllable, his smile wide and his coal lined eyes crinkled as he locked his door again, gracefully walking over to where Alec was propping open his own door with his foot. “You wound me again, Alexander. Give a poor man’s heart a break!” Alec just laughed, closing the door behind him as they entered his apartment, their footsteps clattering on the dark hardwood floors.

“I didn’t ask you out Magnus, I quite literally just asked you to come into my apartment“ Alec smirked and the smart-ass remark made Magnus turn on his heel, joyous lines framing his burning eyes as his teeth shone whitely against the darkness of Alec’s apartment.“You are a linguistics professor-” Alec continued casually “-should you not have your, what do you call them, deictic expressions figured out?” Alec finished, winking as he shrugged off his coat, hanging it on the golden hooks right by his door, kicking off his shoes in the process.

Magnus gaped at him, but it was obvious that the banter had not offended him, and as he in turn took off his studded maroon jacket and unzipped his glittery boots, he tittered adorably, his back straightening as he handed Alec his coat to hang beside his own.

“You are just too much” Magnus laughed, and as Alec took his jacket, their hands brushed together for a bit too long making both men go unnervingly quiet.

Cleaning his throat and moving his hand - and Magnus’s coat - away, Alec hung Magnus’s jacket up and gestured with his arms for Magnus to continue into his apartment, shuffling after the man and smiling widely as he watched Magnus examine his surroundings.

“Well, that is not the word on the street but I’ll take your word for it” Alec answered, earning a soft chuckle from the man in front of him. As they entered his sitting room, Magnus suddenly turned around and walked over to Alec, gently but briefly touching his shoulder, biting his lip in what Alec assumed might have been uncertainty.

“I’m very glad we met, Alec” he said earnestly, looking at Alec with an unreadable expression in his eyes, face suddenly serious.

“Me too” was all Alec could say, voice soft and gentle. It was the truth, he was incredibly happy to have met Magnus. “Me too, Magnus”.

————

Two hours later, and after a lot of food and drink, they were lazily sprawled out on Alec’s sofa, wine glasses in hand, casually talking about anything that came to mind, enjoying and cherishing the other’s company.

“Why linguistics?” Alec asked after taking another sip of his wine, feeling the alcohol warm the pit of his stomach comfortingly.

“Well-“ Magnus commenced. “-it’s the linguistics system that sets humans apart from the lower animals, which is fascinating to me. And I marvel at how it’s humanity’s most lethal weapon, which scares me” he continued, looking up at Alec from where he was half-laying on the sofa, looking exhausted.

“What do you mean?” Alec asked softly, nudging Magnus’s shoulder with his upper arm, feeling Magnus’s body heat seep through his shirt to his arm.

“Language starts wars, it breaks up families, it’s capable of breaking hearts. Words can do more damage than any material thing ever could” Magnus whispered, looking down at the wine glass in his hand, swirling the dark red liquid around before taking a large gulp.

“I guess you’re right” Alec noted, putting his hand gently on Magnus’s forearm, lightly brushing his thumb over Magnus’s dark green shirt. “But language can be used to create miracles as well. It can be used to change the world for the better, can’t it?” Alec finished, feeling Magnus’s head fall gently to his shoulder, his dark hair tickling Alec’s face as he lay his head down on top the other man’s black curls, heart racing at their proximity.

They sat like that for hours, whispering into the early hours of the morning until they both fell asleep, Magnus’s head resting in Alec’s lap and Alec’s head on Magnus back, uncomfortably comfortable as the rays of the morning sun started to break up the darkness of the night.

——-

“Alec”

“Alec”

“Alec, wake up”

Alec blinked his eyes open at the hissing noise in his ear, quickly recognising the voice as his sister’s, dazedly looking around before remembering how he had fallen asleep the night before. He shifted slightly, careful not to awake Magnus who still had his head in Alec’s lap, his breathing deep and rhythmic, indicating that he still was sleep.

“What are you doing here, Iz?” Alec hissed back as he sat up carefully, his back cracking as a result of the awkward sleeping position. When he finally got a better look at Izzy however, he rolled his eyes and sighed deeply to himself - her mouth was twisted into an evil smirk, her eyebrows were raised and her hands were placed authoritatively on her hips. He was never going to live this down. “You scared the living crap out of me” he stated accusingly.

“I told you last time that I was going to come over today to finish decorating, remember?” she whispered, looking down at Magnus who’s back Alec had his hands on, carefully pulling down his shirt to cover the bare skin that was exposed in the morning sunlight. “But i guess you’ve been busy, I’m impressed, big brother” she winked and kept staring at Magnus. “He’s hot, I didn’t know you had it in you. I’m so proud” she squealed quietly, inaudibly clapping her hands together much to Alec’s embarrassment.

“He’s my neighbour, we’re friends. We had wine and talked last night. That’s it” he shot back, his hands subconsciously rubbing small circles into Magnus’s back, feeling his chest rising and falling reassuringly underneath his hand. “But you are right, I’m preoccupied and I need to help him with something in his apartment so the decorating will have to wait til tomorrow, sorry Iz” he whispered softly, giving his sister a half smile. Alec loved his sister, but she could be a pain in his ass sometimes, especially when she obsessed over his love life, or lack thereof, and his apartment.

“You hate people, and you hate helping people even more, what’s gotten into you?” she asked quietly, a genuine curiosity visible in her dark eyes as she kept looking at Magnus’s sleeping form.

“He’s had a tuff week and his place is literally a health hazard so yes, I’m going to help him. No big deal” he responded, looking down at Magnus with soft eyes, watching his back rise and fall while small puffs of air brushed Alec’s legs as he breathed.

“Whatever you say but Alec, it’s okay to care for people. I can see that you care about him so don’t push him away. You deserve to be happy” she whispered and touched his cheek softly, straightening her back before furrowing her brows into a serious scowl. “I’ll leave you to it then, but if you pull something like this on me tomorrow I will cut you, understood?”

“Yes, Sir” Alec joked, smiling at his sister as she made her way towards his front door, winking once more before she disappeared. Feeling Magnus stir and nuzzle his head further into his lap, Alec could not help the smile that spread across his face, his hand continuously caressing his shirt clad back in admiration.

Curious as to what the time was however, as Izzy was known for sleeping in, Alec glanced at his watch and groaned to himself when he realised that it already was 1 PM. Biting his lip tentatively, Alec gently shook Magnus’s shoulders, earning a small whine from the man - it was definitely the most endearing noise Alec had ever heard.

“Magnus” he whispered, shaking his shoulders again, his other hand stroking his back calmly. “It’s 1 PM” he continued softly, grinning when Magnus groggily turned his face upwards, looking straight at Alec almost as if he were trying to recall where he was and on who’s lap he was sleeping. Alec could see the exact moment when Magnus connected the dots, his eyes growing wide and the corners of his mouth turning upwards.

“Good afternoon” he whispered hoarsely, his voice tick with sleep. Alec couldn’t help but observe his smudged makeup and tussled hair. He looked absolutely stunning. “Did we fall asleep?” he asked as he sat up and Alec could hear his back crack, wincing at the unpleasant noise.

“Yeah, I only just woke up” Alec said, slowly getting up and reaching his hand down for Magnus to take. “Rise and shine” he whispered as Magnus took his hand and got up with him, swaying slightly on his feet as he did so.

“Sorry that I fell asleep on you, I can’t imagine it was very comfortable” he apologised groggily, scrunching his face up as if he were imagining how awful it must have been. Awful, Alec mused to himself, was not the word he would have used.

“Don’t worry about it, I’m tougher than I look” Alec replied, looking happily at Magnus before walking towards the kitchen, hearing the other man’s shuffling footsteps following after him, not far behind.

“I don’t know, you look pretty tough to me” Alec heard Magnus mutter, making him burst out laughing as he entered his kitchen, desperately in need of a large cup of coffee.

“Are you flirting with, Professor Bane?” Alec asked, voice light with glee. Magnus laughed along, slapping Alec lightly on his back as he proceeded to hoist himself up on Alec’s kitchen isle, legs dangling freely off its side.

“Whatever do you mean?” he retorted nonchalantly, eyeing Alec with innocent eyes. “And please don’t call me Professor Bane again, it makes me sound old”

“But you’re not old, which is why it should be a compliment, seeing as you managed to become one what like—30 years earlier than average?” Alec reasoned, his eyebrows raised at the impressive achievement.

“Yeah but it makes me seem old” Magnus shot back, carefully emphasising ‘seem’ in an attempt to make his point, the right corner of his mouth softly turning up into a smirk.

“Well, that’s dum and you’re wrong” Alec muttered teasingly, shooting a playful glance behind him, laughing out loud when he saw the baffled look on Magnus’s face.

“You’re dum” the other man retorted defensively, jumping off the isle and wincing slightly as he landed on this injured foot, striding haughtily, but seeming jokingly, over to where Alec was trying to hide his laughter. Magnus marched over to the sink and turned on the tap, readily wetting his fingers before flicked them in Alec’s face, making the taller man gasp in surprise.

“Magnus!” Alec exclaimed loudly, his eyes wide and his mouth smiling as he padded his face with his fingers. “That’s it” he hissed unthreateningly before mimicking Magnus’s action, flinging ice cold water in his face, earning a squeal in response before Magnus backed away slowly, obviously trying to leave the kitchen as he sniggered audibly to himself.

Before Magnus could leave, however, Alec walked over to him and flicked some more water in his face, holding him firmly but carefully with his free arm. He hadn’t quite realised how close they were until he felt Magnus’s hot breath on his wet face, and he couldn’t help his eyes from traveling down to Magnus’s lips, realising that Magnus’s eyes were just as fixed on his.

They looked up at the same time, staring into each other’s eyes and before anything could happen - maybe it was the universe trying to keep them from messing up whatever friendship they had just started - a phone started ringing in the other room, prompting Magnus to clear his throat before running out and answering it. Alec followed him and by the look on Magnus’s face, someone was delivering good news which in turn made Alec incredibly happy, despite the water dripping onto his shirt from where Magnus had flung it earlier - Magnus really did deserve good things to happen to him.

“Are you sure?” Magnus exclaimed, listening carefully to the person on the other line. “Thank you, thank you so much” he breathed before hanging up and turning to Alec, walking over to him again and giving him a tight hug. “Oh my God, Alec. I can finally pick up Noam Chomsky, I can’t believe it” Magnus muttered into his neck and Alec was, needless to say, very confused, scrunching his nose as he rattled his mind trying to find the optimal relevance in the situation but failing miserably, sighing softly as he hugged him back, breathing in the scent of sandalwood.

“Noam Chomsky?” he asked as he let go of Magnus, furrowing his brows in question.

“My baby broke a leg. He finally recovered. Thank whatever God is up there, I’ve been so worried” Magnus exhaled raggedly, putting a hand to his forehead while letting out a deep sigh, looking relieved. “I’m getting him now, he’s just at the vets down the street, you could come if you want?” Magnus suggested somewhat frantically, looking happier than Alec had yet seen him which, as Alec would come to realsie more in the future, was why Alec found himself unable to say no to the gorgeous man.

How was it possible for a person he essentially just met have such an impact on him?

“Sure, let me just clean up and I’ll meet you at yours in ten” Alec agreed, smiling widely at Magnus. The other man returned his smile with crinkling eyes and as such, Magnus left to get ready.

Alec, in turn, hastily took a quick shower, put on a pair of leather trousers and a black t-shirt, his boots and his leather jacket, and made it out of his apartment in time for Magnus to do the same, looking as stunning as ever.

Alec had no idea how he had managed to pull it off though - his hair was styled into a mohawk, his eyes were shimmering with glittery eyeliner, and he was wearing a deep blue embroidered shirt, accompanied by a blazer in the same colour and a pair of dark green trousers, topped off with his glittery boots. Alec had to physically force himself to look away so he turned slightly, looking the other way and squinting at a plant further down the hallway.

“You ready?” Alec asked asked as his eyes reluctantly left the green plant.

“Certainly” Magnus answered, giving Alec an obvious once over. “You look stunning” he said matter-of-factly as they made their way down the stairs. “You look really good in black, my dear” he said and nudged Alec’s shoulder, the comment making Alec blush as he tried to concentrate on not falling down the stairs.

“Thanks, you look great, too” Alec said in turn, looking over at Magnus as they left the building.

It didn’t take them more than about five minutes to reach their destination and when they walked in, Alec was admittedly more perplexed than before, insects and bugs crawling in glass containers everywhere he looked.

“So Magnus, where is he?” he asked a bit hesitantly, not terribly fond of anything with more than two eyes and four legs.

Magnus just smiled at Alec and walked over to the counter, appearing to give them his information and before Alec knew what was happening, the lady behind the counter went to the back only to return with a glass cage containing a large spider crawling around in it, the creature making the hair on Alec’s arms stand up.

Breathing heavily as he eyed the container, Alec took a step back as Magnus made his way over to where he was standing, smiling brightly at him before raising his eyebrows expectantly at the creature.

“Alexander, meet my baby.” Magnus cooed, making kissing faces at the disgustingly large spider. “Mr Chomsky, say hi to Alexander” Magnus hummed sweetly and when Alec didn’t answer, Magnus finally looked at him, realisation immediately dawning on him. “Don’t tell me you’re scared of spiders?” he asked, his tone gentle but amused and Alec closed his eyes momentarily, clearing his throat and shaking his head quickly.

“No—uh, no I’m not. Not at all. Love them” he stuttered clumsily, feeling a trickle of sweat start to form on his forehead as he fixed his gaze on the floor.

“Great, I normally let him run around my apartment when I’m home so if you ever come over, you won’t be too frightened if you see him. He’s a sweetheart, really wonderful. I don’t get why people hate them so much. Such a pity” Magnus rambled seriously, clearly elated to have his beloved pet back, much to Alec’s absolute horror.

Alec knew Magnus had changed his life, or was going to anyway. There was something about him that brought Alec to his knees and he knew that he would do anything for the man, and they had only known each other for a little over a week.

But when Alec looked over at Magnus on their way back to the apartment building, the way he looked so fondly at that thing, and the way his painted fingernails played with the outisde of the glass, Alec felt a cold shiver run down his back in realisation - he suddenly knew that he would have to find a way to tolerate it because it meant a lot to Magnus and Magnus, in turn, had come to mean a lot to Alec.

Alec, therefore, sighed heavily and reached for his phone, reluctantly unlocking it and opening ‘notes’ before adding another thing to his to-do list for next week, shuddering as he read the words to himself.

-Call therapist- ask about exposure therapy.

As he put his phone down and glanced at the other man, Magnus was smiling up at him in a way that made Alec’s knees weak, his eyes crinkling and his eyeliner kaleidoscopic in the sunlight.

Alec knew then, as he returned the smile sweetly, that he was screwed - he was so incredibly, unreasonably, and fantastically screwed.


	4. Chapter 4

The spider - Noam Chomsky -, to Alec’s surprise, was almost tolerable. It mostly sat wearily still in some dark unsettling corner and would, merely occasionally, trot around Magnus’s apartment must to Alec’s disdain.

Nevertheless, Magnus loved that thing which was why Alec was pretending to tolerate it. Alec had even, although accidentally, ended up holding Mr. Chomsky and to his complete surprise and comfort, he was very soft. Magnus had even snapped a picture of Alec and the spider - the first picture Magnus had ever taken of him - and Alec would definitely and voluntarily hold the spider again if it meant that Magnus would want to save more of those moments forever frozen in time.

“Brilliant” Magnus had said, adoringly admiring the photo taken on his phone, and Alec had only smiled in agreement, moving closer to Magnus in order to glance at the picture. Alec had been able to smell the sandalwood from Magnus’s shampoo, and it’d made him momentarily dizzy as Magnus showed him the snapshot, a weary smiling picture of himself with the large aranea infinitely still in the palm of his outstretched hand, the bright daylight creating a halo around them, making the picture shine divinely.

That had been three weeks ago, well, three weeks and four days depending on how one looked at it, and Alec savoured every moment of his time wiht Magnus - though he had to admit, it did feel pretty strange knowing your professor personally.

For instance, Alec knew that Magnus loved horror films, that he adored Indian food, that he owned a freakishly large tarantula which he had named after the father of modern linguistics. Alec had learned that he always took his makeup off before bed, that he was incredibly intelligent and emotional, and that irregardless of the time of day, you would always find him bobbling his knee to the sound of some inaudible beat. He even knew how Magnus liked his coffee - large vanilla latte with an extra shot of espresso -, where he kept his cologne and his bread, and how to make him laugh wholeheartedly.

So yes, it felt strange sitting back in his seat while Magnus taught, listening tentatively to that intelligent voice lecturing them, while knowing that who he presented to the world was a scarce percentage of the man with the glittery boots, the smoky eyeliner and the spiky hair. He was a person behind that facade, a person Alec was weirded out to, but nevertheless incredibly grateful for, having gotten the opportunity to know personally.

Therefore, as the Friday of Magnus’s last lecture in the law department eventually rolled around, it was with a relieved yet melancholy feeling that the two of them accompanied each other to the final lecture on forensic linguistics, shoulders occasionally brushing as they walked the streets of New York, lost in phatic conversation.

“Do you want a latte?” Alec asked as they walked past Starbucks, both men stopping abruptly as if on cue, eyeing the coffee shop with desire. They were both coffeeholics, they were pretty much destined to be: one law student aspiring lawyer and one university professor with workloads heavier than the world itself. Coffee, and late night music, had somehow become their thing, something for them to hold on to when the world around them crashed and burned.

“Have you met me?” Magnus exclaimed, laughing as he grabbed Alec’s upper arm, gently tugging him inside. “But I’m paying” he added as they approached the counter, Alec eyeing the new options they had displayed on the large menus before moving his firm gaze to Magnus’s face, raising one eyebrow. Magnus just quirked his brows at him prettily, the left corner of his mouth turning up into a playful smirk. “Don’t even try it, Alexander. We’ve been over this”

And they had been over it, plenty of times. They took turns paying and on that particular day, although Alec liked paying for them both, it had been Magnus’s turn. Izzy had told him that it sounded a lot like dating, which it obviously wasn’t, Magnus was Alec’s lecturer, knowledgeable and inspiring. Alec supposed that was changing later that day, however, and he couldn’t help but feel a small shimmer of hope rise in his chest as his shoulder brushed against Magnus’s, sending sparks through his entire being.

Blushing to himself, Alec looked over at Magnus who was gazing back at him with big beautiful coal-lined eyes. His hair was styled into a mohawk, he was wearing a black coat with silver studded shoulders, a navy blue shimmering shirt underneath and a pair of burgundy dress trousers along with his glittery boots. His face was covered in less makeup than usual and he smelled like burnt sugar and sandalwood.

I’ll keep you happy, Alec thought to himself as he looked away, clearing his throat lightly.

“Yes, dear. Whatever you say, dear” Alec grinned. That was something his grandfather had said to his grandmother, pissing her off to no end, and it was used fairly frequently as a joke in his family. Looking at Magnus, however, the way his cheeks had turned a bright pink and how he was smiling down at the floor, it probably wasn’t common practise for non-Lightwoods, which was convenient. Magnus blushing was adorable and he was adamant that this would not be the last time.

“Alexander” Magnus giggled, mouth slightly open as he laughed. “You are insufferable, you’re lucky you’re handsome” he sniggered and as he proceeded to order their drinks Alec walked a bit closer, standing with his right hand on Magnus’s lower back. It probably looked like a date, Alec mused, liking the thought of that.

Feeling braver than usual and much to happy to let go, Alec leaned closer to Magnus’s ear as he was paying, making him tilt his head to the side. “Want to go for a drink tonight?” he whispered, involuntarily licking his lips as he awaited Magnus’s answer, moving his hand to Magnus’s shoulder instead. “I’ll pay” he opined, feeling Magnus turn fully to look at him, debit card in hand, a wide smile on his face.

“I’d love that, Alexander” he whispered, moving so close that Alec could feel his breath on his face, looking straight into Alec’s eyes, gaze filled with hope. “It’s about time though” he smirked. “Although I didn’t take you for the scandalous type’’ he winked, a gesture that made Alec’s knees weak.

“Scandalous?” Alec questioned breathlessly, face scrunching up.

“Yes, Alec” he started. “You just asked your lecturer out” Magnus reminded him, nothing on his face but joy and content.

“Hey” Alec exclaimed, following Magnus as he turned to retrieve their drinks and as he walked out of the coffee shop, hot on his heels. “That’s not fair, you won’t be my lecturer tonight” Alec contrasted, clumsily following Magnus out the door, running into his back since Magnus had decided to stop abruptly outside the shop, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Yes, dear” Magnus enunciated, earning a happy laugh to escape Alec’s lungs.

“Hey, that’s not fair either” Alec exclaimed, face covered in an expression of fake shell-chock. “That’s my th-“ and before Alec could continue, Magnus turned and moved forward, lightly pressing his lips against Alec’s. It was short and sweet and electric and Alec could taste Magnus’s mouthwash on his lips when they parted, both men smiling like fools. “The pot calling the cattle black much?” Alec rasped, earning a playful slap on his arm as Magus started walking again.

“Whatever do you mean, Alexander?” Magnus said innocently, touching his spiderweb ear cuff nonchalantly, a light sway to his hip as he walked.

Tonight was going to be fun.

———

Before tonight came, however, they had to attend the lecture; Magnus to lecture and, well, Alec to be lectured, quite literally. The lecture itself would have gone by smoothly had it not been for Raj, one of Alec’s classmates who he absolutely loathed, his mere presence making Alec want to jump out of a window and take him down with him.

Essentially, before the lecture could commence, Alec had see from where he was sitting - a good distance away from Magnus so he could concentrate because God only knew he wouldn’t be able to if he could smell him - Raj approaching Magnus with a box of chocolates. That was the first time Alec really frowned that day. Chocolate had nuts in it, didn’t it?

Alec was well aware that Magnus was severely allergic to all nuts, and that it could be dangerous and unpleasant if he ingested any of them. Luckily, and not surprisingly, he could see Magnus thanking Raj only to turn the box over, looking at the ingredients to ensure that they were not going to kill him. They chocolates were, to Alec’s disappointment, apparently harmless since Magnus proceeded to open it and pop one into his mouth, handing the remaining sweets to the first row, sharing the rest with the class.

“Thank you, Raj. That was kind of you” Magnus started the lecture, swallowing the chocolate in the process. “Today is the last lecture you will have with me, but don’t fret, I will be in my office during my office hours every week so if you need me to help you with anything, feel fee to stop by” he continued, voice loud and clear.

Everyone in the class seemed to like having Magnus as their lecturer, Alec did too, and although he might be slightly biased, Alec had absolutely no trouble understanding why Magnus was so popular with all the other students. Magnus was an excellent teacher, very knowledgeable and with him being only 27, he could relate to his students in a way the other professors simply couldn’t. He was smart, funny, and intoxicatingly witty, and Alec would close his eyes and just listen when he talked, enjoying the smoothness of his voice.

Today was no different, Alec promptly had his head leaned back and his eyes closed as he listened to Magnus talk about the interpretation paradox, eyes opening slightly when he could hear the man start coughing lightly, nothing really out of the ordinary. However, when those coughs become more frequent, Alec sat up, his back straight as he observed Magnus. He looked a bit paler than before, he was sweating, and Alec could see Magnus opening his buttoned shirt at the top, as if he had trouble breathing. Alec instantly felt his heartbeat quicken, already halfway out of his seat when Magnus looked up at the class, face deprived of its usual charm and integrity.

“Excuse me a moment” Magnus breathed as he exited the classroom, almost running out of the lecture hall, carelessly leaving all his teaching material behind - his laptop and his bag. Alec shot to his feet, nervously running down the steps of the lecture hall, earning curious glances from his fellow students - Alec couldn’t blame them. Had it been any other professor, Alec would have stayed put, thinking nothing much of it, but this was Magnus and he knew better.

By the time Alec had reached the bottom of the stairs, whispers and murmurs were echoing throughout the large lecture hall and as Alec reached the door and opened it, the sight that greeted him made his blood run cold.

Magnus was leaning heavily against a wall, loud and rasping breaths escaping his throat as he hugged his torso protectingly, shoulders hunched. He looked like he was about to pass out at any moment.

“Magnus?” Alec asked, slowly approaching where he was standing to Alec’s left, the dim hallway of the old university building not allowing Alec’s eyes to fully examine the man from where he was.

Granted, Alec wasn’t sure how much closer he should get to Magnus inside the university, unsure whether Magnus would even want him to approach him at all, seeing as he was in a senior position and Alec knew from pervious experiences that Magnus severely disliked displaying his vulnerability - which mostly happened when he was drunk as Alec had been fortunately unfortunate to experience first hand.

Shaking his head, Alec could see that Magnus’s shoulders were shaking, and as he started sliding down the wall a bit too quickly for Alec’s liking, he ran towards the man and caught hold of him before he could hit the ground, gently setting him down with his back pressed against the dark brick wall. “Magnus, can you hear me?” Alec asked and moved his shaking hands towards Magnus’s face, cupping his jaw. “Can you breathe? Was there something in the chocolate?” Alec cautioned, his thumb caressing the clammy skin of his forehead, almost watching in slow motion as Magnus’s lips attained a sickly blue colour. “ _Shit_ ” Alec breathed, remembering Magnus telling him what might happen and what needed to be done in case he accidentally ingested nuts.

_First, sitting position._   
_Second, get EpiPen._   
_Third, call ambulance, state ‘anaphylaxis’._

So Alec got up from his potion by Magnus’s shaking body and ran into the classroom which was more chaotic than when he had left, everyone asking, wondering where Professor Bane went and if he was alright. He darted towards where Magnus’s messenger bag was positioned to the let of the computer, forcibly yanking it open the second he reached it only to momentarily have a mental breakdown when he could not see a single EpiPen in sight, panic rising in his chest.

Taking a deep breath, he looked around the large classroom, all eyes on him, and to his own astonishment he remembered that Magnus had given one to him two weeks after they first met, for cases exactly like this one, and Alec thanked the Gods that he had kept it in his backpack ever since. He made it up towards where his seat was, yanked open his own bag and grappled the incased EpiPen, darting down the steps, ignoring everyone asking where he was going or where Mr. Bane was.

When Alec made it back out into the hallway, no more than a minute later, there was a crowd of teachers surrounding Magnus’s body, his colleagues shouting in worried voices, only looking up when he started pushing his way through the small crowd, carefully sliding the EpiPen out of its case and pointing the blue colour upwards and the orange towards Magnus’s pant clad leg, positioning it 10 cm away and steadily jabbing it into his thigh, earning a slight wince from the barely breathing man.

“Someone call an ambulance” he yelled and he could hear people fuzzing about reaching for their phones. "State anaphylaxis" Alec breathed, taking a seat next to Magnus, taking his cold hand into his own, counting down the minutes until he could hear the paramedics arriving.

“You’ll be fine, Magnus” he whispered, quietly, so only Magnus could hear. “You have to be” Alec croaked out, feeling Magnus nod his head slightly.

——

The paramedics had come extraordinarily quickly, ushering everyone away from where Magnus was sitting, and examining him. Everything happened in a blur after that, but Alec could make out the other teachers finishing the class for Magnus and ordering the other students to leave and not stare. Surprisingly though, they didn’t tell Alec to leave, and eventually, after what felt like ten million years - hyperbolically or not - a paramedic came over to him, a small smile on her face.

“Your quick thinking saved his life” the lady said, grabbing Alec by the shoulder, her kind eyes burning into his own. “My name is Catarina, I’m a dear friend of Magnus’, thank you for saving his life. He deserves the world and to live” she breathed, and Alec could see tears forming in her eyes. “He’ll be just fine though, don’t worry” she added, clearly seeing Alec’s worried and confused expression. “He just needs rest and someone to check on him every so often. You are Alexander, right?” she concluded, the small smile returning to her face and the tears seeping in the way they had come, disappearing into her dark brown eyes. Alec was shocked that she knew his name.

Had Magnus told her about him?

“Yes” Alec breathed, voice tinged with surprise. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. Magnus talks about you all the time” Alec confessed, thinking back to all the crazy stories Magnus had told in the dead of night, both men slightly drunk on vodka and sprite. She sounded like a lovely person, someone lovely enough to be worthy of Magnus’s love. “I’ll check in on him. We spend a lot of time together so it really wouldn’t be a problem” he smiled back at her, slowly feeling his own anxiety disappear as a result of the more gleeful atmosphere around them, and as he looked over his shoulder to where Magnus was sitting on a chair, talking quietly to the paramedics, he let out a breath he hadn’t realised he'd been holding.

“Okay” she said, looking over to where Alec’s gaze was fixed on Magnus. “I trust you because he trusts you” she decided before turning on her heel and walking back over to where Magnus was seated, kneeling down in front of him and pointing a finger in Alec’s direction. At that, Magnus looked up and their eyes locked, Alec pressing his lips together when he saw the tears running down his face, only then realising how absolutely horrible this must have been for him, relief washing over him when Magnus gestured for him to come over.

Everything would be fine, Alec concluded as Magnus raised his eyebrows at him when he got closer, his face as beautiful and stunning as ever, his eyes shining.

“How about that drink?” Magnus rasped out, voice strained with exhaustion.

“How about we watch a film tonight and take a rain check on the drinks?” Alec laughed and gently bent down to peck Magnus on the cheek, the adrenaline making him bolder than he normally would have been. “You look a bit tired” he breathed, a slight smirk covering his face.

“Should I be insulted by that?” Magnus pouted, slowly getting up from the chair, swaying slightly in the process. One of his colleges rushed over with a gentle smile on her face, handing him his messenger bag along with Alec’s worn backpack - the only things left behind in the lecture hall, Alec presumed.

“No, absolutely not” Alec stated bluntly when the other teacher had left, relieving Magnus of their bags and taking the shorted man by the elbow and guiding them towards the exit of the university. “You could look like anything and you would probably still be the best looking person in all of New York“

“Probably? Only in New York?” Magnus remarked. “I’m offended” he chuckled and put his head on Alec’s shoulder as he hailed a cab, looking up at Alec through his eyelashes.

His eyeliner was smudged, running down his cheeks, and Alec lifted his hand to wipe at the glitter, rubbing his thumb along the length of his face before dropping his hand and looking around, squinting his eyes at the sun.

“To me. You always look good to me” was all Alec said and that made Magnus turn his head, his nose brushing against Alec’s jaw.

As the two men eventually got into a cab and as they sat closely huddled together in the backseat - their fingers lazily intertwined, both men brushing their thumbs over the other’s hand, feeling the closeness that the day’s chaos had brought - the sun shone more brightly than it had in a while, as if it knew that two lovers were growing closer by every passing minute.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Needless to say”  
> “Should I be insulted by that?”  
> “Have you met me?”  
> \- Shadowhunters seasons 2+3. 
> 
> Finally, how annoying is Raj?


	5. Chapter 5

It didn’t take them very long at all to get home as the traffic was unreasonably good for a Friday afternoon. The two men sat in a comfortable silence throughout the cab ride, Magnus tiredly resting his head on Alec’s shoulder and Alec contemplating what to do next, as taking care of people was his worst nightmare - although he understood with a sudden feeling of awe that that didn’t apply when it concerned Magnus - at the moment he would do anything for the man on his left.

After the quiet 10 minute cab ride, and after Alec had payed the cab driver, he lent Magnus a hand getting out of the car and together they made their way towards the lobby of their apartment building - Magnus being frighteningly quiet, the only noises making their way out of his mouth being ragged breaths as if he still had some trouble getting sufficient amounts of oxygen - Alec politely nodding a generic ‘hello’ at the doorman as they continued into the luscious lobby.

Alec had been adamant to pay his own way through university, not wanting much to do with his family and their money - the resentment being mostly directed at his cold hearted bastard of a father - but when his mother had begged him to let her help out with accommodation at least, he had caved and ended up in a nice neighbourhood in Brooklyn. There were not that many people currently living in the building, and the few who did live there were very different from Alec, and he supposed quite different from Magnus as well - rich business men and women with their fancy cars and nice suits, looking disturbingly much like people from the life Alec had yearned to get away from.

Nevertheless, he was happy he had said yes because otherwise he wouldn’t have met Magnus, even though his intuition assured him they would have crossed paths regardless, at a different time and place perhaps, but he had trouble seeing a reality where they would not have met - a belief he would take to the grave. After all, he had a reputation to uphold and believing in love did not fit his perfectly crafted stone-cold-no-care-in-the-world image.

In the mids of his mind running in circles, he could feel Magnus leave his side as they approached the elevator, indicating that he was about to walk up the stairs instead of taking the elevator like the paramedics had recommended earlier, making Alec slightly frustrated. 

Alec readjusted the two bags hanging from his shoulders, rolling his eyes slightly. “Magnus, where are you going?” Alec exclaimed, coming up behind where Magnus had started climbing the stairs, the man turning his head slightly to look over his shoulder at Alec, a curious expression on his face.

“What?” he asked, clearly not seeing why Alec might have issues with him climbing stairs half an hour after he had been on the verge of dying.

“Magnus, they told you to take it easy. I’m not sure climbing stairs is the best idea” he said irritably, voice coming out much harsher and cooler than he had anticipated. Magnus looked hurt and taken aback by his tone, his lips pressed together into a thin line of pink before he turned his head and proceeded to climb the stairs - much quicker than before. I’m sorry, Alec wanted to say but was cut off by Magnus’s accusingly defensive tone.

“I’m not a child, Alec” he growled, his deep rough voice surprising Alec - it was such a vast contrast to his usually delightful tone. “I don’t need you to follow me like a yapping dog, I’m fine” he hissed, the anger in his voice knocking the air out of Alec’s lungs, making him feel like he had been punched in the stomach.

Alec temporarily closed his eyes, remembering Catarina’s expression, the way she had looked, and the way he had promised her to make sure Magnus was alright, and irregardless of who it was, Alec realised, he was never one to break promises.

So, swallowing the bitter taste in his mouth, Alec followed the man in silence until they were both standing outside their apartments. To Alec’s slight amusement however, Magnus appeared to have realised that he didn’t have his own bag on him, but rather that Alec himself was still carrying it, and was therefore looking angrily, but rather adorably, at his front door, glaring at it as if it had done something unseemly and needed to be told off.

“Here you go” Alec said neutrally, putting Magnus out of his misery by handing Magnus’s leather bag to him and grabbing the keys out of his own bag, unlocking his door, surprised that Magnus wasn’t following suit. When he looked up, Magnus was still staring at his door, his expression a vast mixture of emotions, so colourful and complicated that Alec had trouble reading it. “You don’t need to push me away” he stated reassuringly when Magnus didn’t make any indication to move, turning himself slightly to face Magnus with his key still readily available in his hand - the harshness a mere echo in his now soft voice, realisation as to why Magnus might be acting like this dawning on him. The charmingly witty linguistics professor was scared of Alec, or maybe of his judgement. “You don’t need to be embarrassed either, it happens” Alec continued, taking a few steps towards Magnus, his heart beating painfully at the fact that Magnus wouldn’t look at him.

“I’ve taken care of myself for as long as I can remember, Alec. I don’t need your help or pity” he acquiesced, voice trembling slightly as he rubbed his thumb and index finger together in that endearingly nervous habit of his, still staring blankly at his front door, visibly swallowing before finally turning to face Alec’s way, his large eyes brimming with unshed tears. It took everything in Alec’s power not to reach out and hug him.

“The paramedics - Catarina - said you needed someone to take care of you. She asked me and I’m not letting her down whether you like it or not” he said, a bit taken aback by the other man’s bluntness but never letting his eyes leave Magnus’s face, still worried the blue tint would return to his lips. “And I’m not pitying you, there is nothing about this that requires pity. I care about you and therefore, naturally, I want to make sure you’re alright” he breathed, suddenly feeling incredibly hurt. “I’m sorry that I obviously haven’t made that clear enough to you” he added, intensively looking at the other man, desperately needing to get through to him.

“Why, Alexander?” Magnus contorted, his body once again turned away from Alec, voice thick with exhaustion and something else - he sounded scared.

“I just told yo-“ Alec began explaining, Magnus’s abrupt movement towards him quickly cutting him off, startling and stopping him in his tracks.

“No” he urged, breaths raspy and uneven. “Why do you care about _me_?” he emphasised, the sudden turn of events difficult for Alec to wrap his head around, eyebrows once again furrowed into an arch of confusion, wrinkling the delicate skin above the bridge of his nose. “You have known me for a month, what is your agenda? What do you want from me?” he breathed, eyes wild and dark, face flushed with anger and what looked like fear or sadness - Alec, admittedly, had a hard time keeping up with the ever changing emotions on the other man’s face.

“What are you talking about?” Alec began, the prosody of his normally neutral voice much higher, words coming out loud and unclear. “Magnus” he begged, walking towards the furious man, putting his hands on his shoulders, firmly turning him so he was facing him. “I’m not like Camille, I’m not going to hurt you” he affirmed, staring into the other man’s eyes, expression deprived of any other emotion but care. “I know you‘ve had a rough time recently, that you have issues trusting people. But Magnus-” he went on as Magnus’s expression slowly turned into one of absolute heartbreak, his mouth twitching. “-you can trust me, I won’t hurt you” he breathed and when Magnus made no move to back away, Alec pulled him into such a bone crushing hug that he could feel Magnus’s breath being knocked out of his lungs. “Come here” Alec whispered as he gently guided them towards and into his apartment, Magnus stiff and motionless in his embrace. “Let’s watch a film, let me help you. _Please_ ” Alec tried, his arms tightening around Magnus, making him gasp, his shoulders once again trembling as Alec held him.

“I’m sorry” Magnus choked out, digging his fingernails into the nape of Alec’s neck as if he was holding on for dear life, inhales and exhales uneven and ragged as if he was hyperventilating.

“Don’t apologise” Alec firmly stated. “Was it scary?” Alec questioned after a while once Magnus’s breaths had evened out slightly, moving back the slightest to get a better look at his face.

“I thought I was going to die, Alexander” Magnus admitted, his face twisted into an expression of fear, guilt, and shame, looking down at their still shoe clad feet. “I can’t believe I forgot to put the EpiPens into my bag, it’s literally a matter of life and death” Magnus scolded himself as he stepped back from Alec, furiously wiping at his face. Alec watched as Magnus took of his boots and coat before walking over to the mirror hanging right above Alec’s box full of shoes - shoes he didn’t wear but Izzy kept buying him - and grimaced. “I look like shit” he grunted, moving his hands in order to try and fix his tussled hair.

 _That’s the man I know_ , Alec thought to himself as he let out a small laugh.

“Don’t beat yourself up so much” he uttered as he also took off his shoes and shrugged off his coat. “It happens. You’re human” Alec huffed out, looking at Magnus where he was staring at himself with disgust in the mirror. Alec felt disgusted thinking about how many people had stomped all over Magnus, so utterly appalled that it almost made him feel sick to his stomach.

“Still-” Magnus contrasted, his hands moving from his hair to his face, clearly trying to erase all evidence of the tear streaked makeup. “-my head’s just been all over the place lately. And I haven’t had an anaphylaxis shock in so long. I simply forgot” he sighed, back straightening slightly. “Even so, Alec. I’m sorry I snapped at you, it was completely uncalled for. I guess you could say that I have severe trust issues. I suppose that’s what happens after a while of-” he gestured with his hands in a matter-of-factly manner. “-you know”.

“Yeah, I know” Alec agreed. “Just know that you can come to me with anything. I won’t judge you” Alec said as he moved past where Magnus was standing by the mirror, proceeding into his living room and through to his kitchen. “You hungry?” Alec called, looking around his somewhat empty kitchen for something they could have for dinner, a bit put off when he realised that he had nothing edible but sugar, popcorn, and mouldy bread - the perks of being an adult, he thought bitterly.

“No, thank you” Magnus called back, and Alec could hear his soft footsteps as he approached the kitchen. “Honestly, I feel like crap. It’s one of the side effects of using the EpiPen” he groaned. He did look a bit green, Alec noted as he observed the man who still managed to look like a Greek God even after all that had happened. “But maybe I should try and eat something, what do you have?” he questioned tiredly as he propped himself against Alec’s kitchen island.

“Not much, sorry” he said sheepishly, giving Magnus a half smile. “We could order in. Anything you want?” he asked, closing the open cupboards, not needing to look at that depressing reality right now.

“You pick, chances are it’s just gonna come back up for me” he admitted, voice quiet and his cheeks flushed as if he were embarrassed.

Normally, Alec would have run away the second someone said they might be sick, or even the second someone said they were not well, but just like the broken record he was, Alec realised he wouldn’t have Magnus anywhere but with him. Also, the fact that it only made Alec panic slightly was a miracle in and of itself considering he was, according to Jace, the biggest and the most annoying germaphobe there ever was - which, of course, wasn’t true at all.

Liking things clean, and disliking sick people did not automatically make him a germaphobe. It was just common sense, staying away from things that could potentially harm you - survival of the fittest and all.

“I’ll order a salad, we can split it” Alec decided. Salads were healthy, light, and probably wouldn’t make someone feel worse at least.

 

——

 

When Alec ordered a random salad from some vegan menu online, Magnus decided to go to his own apartment to retrieve his pyjamas, his toothbrush, and Noam Chomsky. When he was gone, Alec took the opportunity to clear up a bit - fluffing the decorative pillows his mother and Izzy had bought him, doing the mountain of dishes that had accumulated over the past week, making his bed, and getting into more comfortable clothes himself - finishing just as he heard a quiet knock on his door.

With long strides, he made his way over to his front door and unlocked it, revealing a tired looking Magnus clad in silk pyjamas, a nice pair of what resembled his sister’s Gucci slippers covering his feet. He held Noam Chomsky, who was in his little glass cage, and a toiletry bag to his chest as he smiled, giving Alec a once over.

“You look good in sweat trousers, Alexander” he said as he moved past Alec who instinctively jumped out of the way as the box with the spider passed him, still not completely comfortable with it.

“How are you feeling?” Alec asked as the two men ventured into the apartment, Alec closing the door behind them, trailing after Magnus.

“You don’t want to know” he laughed and put his stuff down on Alec’s coffee table, turning around to look at Alec, his face deprived of all its previous makeup.

He looked beautiful.

“On the contrary” Alec argued. “I always want to know how you’re doing” he admitted, looking over to where Magnus was standing with a baffled expression on his face.

“You never cease to amaze me, Alec” he mumbled as he made his way over to where Alec was standing, still staring at the man in those black silk pyjamas that hugged him in all the right places, making him look so good that Alec had trouble tearing his eyes away. He stopped when he was in such vicinity that Alec could feel his breath on his face--it smelled like toothpaste. “I would kiss you but I’ll spare you the taste in my mouth” he jested, putting his right hand on Alec’s cheek instead.

_How were his hands always so warm?_

“What if I kiss you?” Alec couldn’t help but ask, a flirty undertone to his soft voice, moving his head down slightly so he could rub their somewhat cold noses together.

“I don’t want our first kiss a to be like this” Magnus argued, still holding Alec’s face like it was worth the world.

“You kissed me earlier today” Alec reminded him, raising one eyebrow. “I’m incredibly hurt that you don’t remember” he said ironically, smiling brightly when Magnus finally laughed, his huffing breath making Alec smell the reason why Magnus did not want to kiss him. “You’ve been sick” Alec stated gently, not an ounce of judgement or disgust in his voice - something that was very unlike him normally.

Magnus quickly backed away and covered his mouth with his left hand, looking apologetically in Alec’s direction.

“Sorry” his spoke through his hand, voice muffled and strained. Alec just quirked his eyebrow at him and kissed him on the cheek instead, Magnus’s skin leaving a warm tingle on his lips.

“For the last time, don’t apologise. It’s fine” he assured. “But maybe we should call Catarina, it doesn’t sound goo-“ Alec was cut off by Magnus’s finger gently pressing his mouth shut which, Alec thought, was an incredibly Magnus thing to do.

“I’m fine. It happens. It’s normal.” Magnus reassured him, letting his hand fall down form where it was resting. “You’re such a mother hen” he laughed and gently slapped Alec on the shoulder, something he had come to do quite frequently, and Alec joined in with the laughter, both men looking around rather awkwardly, wondering what to do next.

—-

They eventually managed to settled down on the sofa after an hour, the salad having been delivered approximately half an hour late - why it took over an hour to make and deliver a simple salad Alec would never understand.

Alec still kept a watching eye on Magnus who refused to touch his food, moving slightly closer when he saw that Magnus’s head began to fall to its side, the man clearly exhausted. Feeling brave, Alec moved his arm so it rested on top of Magnus’s back, his other hand squeezing his shoulder gently, bringing him closer to his chest.

They were watching _When We First Met_ , a film that Magnus said he wanted to see - a romantic comedy which to Alec surprise wasn’t half bad, something he would never tell Izzy. Alec had even made them two mugs of steaming coffee and popped some popcorn, thinking that Magnus might want some of that instead but without any luck, Magnus body feeling clammy against his side, a slight tremble to his torso.

“You alright?” Alec whispered, careful not to startle the nearly slumbering man. He turned his head slightly, his nose getting buried in Magnus’s soft black hair, suddenly aware that he could smell everything Magnus - from the sandalwood of his shampoo to the cologne he had been wearing all day.

Instead of answering though, Alec could feel Magnus cuddle closer to him, tucking his head between Alec’s hair and his shoulder, breaths coming out in shuttering puffs. Alec just held him closer, wrapping both his arms around the shivering man - or desperately trying to anyway, Magnus was very muscular.

They sat like that as the movie continued playing, Alec eventually feeling Magnus’s breathing evening out, his shallow breaths turning into deeper inhales and exhales, quiet snores escaping his nose ever so lightly as Alec smiled down at him. Remembering the last time they had fallen asleep on the sofa with a slight wince, however, he decided it would be best to move to the bedroom, and decided to gently shake Magnus awake when the move had finished, making the older man groan slightly.

He got up before Magnus had even opened his eyes and brought all their plates and glasses into the kitchen, hearing Magnus abruptly get up after a few short moments, listening as his slipper clad feet echoed throughout the apartment as he ran towards what Alec assumed was the bathroom.

Alec took his time cleaning up, he even sat down on the floor and stared at Noam Chomsky for a while, admiring with slight disgust how his legs moved and how he seemed to be having a staring contest with Alec - the spider winning since he had a vast majority of eyes and Alec, being human, did not.

Eventually, Alec heard a toilet flush and decided to walk into his bedroom to see how Magnus was holding up, not really wanting to intrude if he was feeling like crap, knowing that he himself would not want someone hovering over him unnecessarily.

He trotted quietly through the now dark sitting room and entered his bedroom where Magnus was sitting on his bed, head in hands, rubbing his face gently.

“Anything I can do?” Alec asked, moving to sit beside Magnus on his bed, gently touching his back, awkwardly rubbing small circles into his shoulders hoping to make him feel slightly less uncomfortable.

“No, I think I just need sleep. Or to die. Either will do” he breathed in a quiet and small voice, any charm and confidence washed away almost completely. They sat like that - Alec hugging Magnus from the side as he sat with his head in his hands, willing the nausea to go away - until Magnus pushed himself off the bed, reaching out his hands for Alec to take. “Are you tired?” Magnus asked as he looked up at Alec, his bangs hanging over his forehead and his lips shaped into a lopsided smile.

“I could sleep” Alec answered and turned around, sloppily tugging at the navy and maroon checkered bedspread covering his bed. “Which side do you want?”

“It’s your bed, you pick” Magnus said simply, crossing his arms over his muscular chest while awaiting Alec’s reply.

“Fine. You can take the side closes to the bathroom then” Alec said as he moved to the left side of the bed, lifting the duvet up and sitting down with a tired sigh - eventually laying his head down and lifting his feet up, turning so he was facing Magnus.

God he was tired, realising that he hadn’t even brushed his teeth but not really having the energy to deal with it.

Magnus followed suit, gracefully sitting himself down on his side of the bed, removing his slippers and lifting his feet up. Alec felt the bed dip down more prominently as Magnus lay his head down on the downy pillow, his face facing the ceiling as he closed his eyes. “I’m really glad I met you, Alexander” he whispered as Alec turned off his beside lamp, darkness falling over the quiet bedroom.

Alec scooted closer to Magnus and gently rested his arm on his chest, laying his head down on Magnus’s shoulder. “Me too, Magnus” he stated simply, hoping Magnus knew how incredibly true that was.

———

_“Oh my God, Izzy. Get the broom”_

Alec sat up with startling speed, eyes darting around the bright bedroom, his head spinning slightly from the sudden movement. He glanced at his watch and realised that it was 11 o’clock in the morning, turning his head slightly to Magnus’s sleeping form.

 _“Where did it go?”_ he heard another voice yell, Alec recognising it as Simon’s, Izzy’s annoying boyfriend.

What was he doing in his apartment?

 _“I got it, I got it. It’s outside”_ he could hear his sister’s voice respond, along with a door closing with a loud bang, startling Magnus awake as well, his confused expression perfectly mimicking the perplexed one covering Alec’s face.

“I think someone’s in your apart-“ Magnus croaked when the bedroom door burst open, both Izzy and Simon entering as if it were their home.

“Alec, there wa-“ Izzy began before her eyes landed on the men in the bed, smirking mischievously as she observed their tussled hair. “Well hello boys” she said and walked further into the bedroom, Alec seeing the wheels turning in her head, seeing how she was trying to figure out a way to make this as excruciatingly awkward as humanly possible.

“It smells like puke in here” Simon stated, following Izzy like a lost puppy, Alec seeing his eyes dart around the room, realising that this was the first time Simon saw his new apartment.

Coming to his senses, however, he got out of bed and moved to stand in front of the uninvited guests, shielding Magnus from their sight, his legs covered in a pair of grey sweat trousers and his upper body clad in a white long-sleeved T-shirt, his tall figure towering over Izzy and Simon.

“ _Shut up_ , Simon” he said tiredly. “What do you want, and what was that noise before?” he hissed out between gritted teeth, hoping his face communicated how much of a pain in his ass they were.

“There was this giant tarantula. It was unlike anything I’ve ever seen before but don’t worry we remov-“ Simon rambled enthusiastically, clearly not noticing how Alec stopped breathing for a split second or how Magnus gasped loudly from behind him.

“Simon, don’t tell me you touched it?” Alec growled, hearing Magnus hastily toss the duvet off himself, frantically putting on his slippers. Alec turned to look at him: he looked better than he did yesterday, not as pale and certainly not as flustered but he still seemed tired. Alec wished he could just walk over there and hold him until everything was better, his heart breaking when he saw that Magnus had to grab onto the bedside table as he stood, swaying disconcertingly on his feet as he did so.

“No I didn’t touch it, we used a broom” Simon said happily, as if he were proud of himself.

“That tarantula is Magnus’s pet and if anything happens to him I will kill you. Both of you” he pointed an accusing finger at the two of them, who looked rather taken aback, as he ran out of the room, realising that they had probably put him in the hallway.

Alec ran towards his frond door, hearing Magnus hot on his feels, and pushed it open, quickly scanning his surroundings and breathing a big sigh of relief when he saw the spider waiting patiently outside of Magnus’s front door like a dog returning home from some unauthorised adventure. Were spiders that smart?

“It’s okay, Magnus” he said as he felt Magnus come up behind him, leaning heavily against his shoulder. “You okay?” Alec whispered when he felt him slump against him slightly, quickly turning around to steady him.

“I thought they had killed him” he breathed. “Who are they anyway?” he asked and as if on cue, Izzy and Simon appeared behind them.

“I’m Isabelle, Alec’s sister and this is Simon, _my boyfriend_ ” she said and reached out her hand which Magnus did not shake.

“Hi I’m Si—Oh my God, Professor Bane?” Simon gaped, his expression going from regretful to excited in a split second. Alec felt Magnus tense in his arms, the shorter man gently stepping away from Alec, straightened his back as he cleared his throat.

“Hello, Sheldon” Magnus said in the same voice he used during the forensic linguistic lectures, although it was noticeably more scratchy and strained.

“It’s Simon” Simon said, his nose scrunching up slightly, clearly offended that Magnus did not remember his name. I don’t blame Magnus, Alec thought to himself as he bent down to retrieve Noam Chomsky from the floor, carefully siting down on his knees and laying his forearms down on the dirty carpet covered floor.

Alec realised with a frightening amount of adrenaline that he had no idea how to get the spider to come to him as he watched his hand move towards the spider, eventually feeling its legs dig into his palm when it moved onto his outstretched hand. Alec had to close his eyes momentarily to steady his breathing. ‘No reason to panic’ he told himself as he slowly got up on his feet, eyes widening when the spider would not for the life of it sit still.

“Right, Simon. I’m s-“ Alec heard Magnus continue, his own eyes solely focused on the giant tarantula moving carelessly between his two hands.

“Is that puke on your shirt?” Simon asked bluntly, moving his hand to poke at Magnus’s shoulder.

“ _Enough_ ” Alec concluded irritably, balancing the spider awkwardly as he walked inside his apartment again, widening his eyes at Magnus who stood frozen in shock, starring at Simon. “I don’t really care what you want. Leave” Alec groaned as he felt Noam Chomsky climb up his arm, settling on the top of his shoulder.

Alec grabbed Magnus’s silk clad arm and pulled him inside gently, glaring stubbornly at his sister and Simon as he closed the door in their faces, not giving a damn if it upset them.

“Remind me to take the key from her” he said to Magnus as he walked into his sitting room, placing Mr. Chomsky back in his glass box, wondering with how he had gotten out in the first place.

“I need to quit my job” Magnus exclaimed dramatically as he followed Alec into the sitting room, positing himself on Alec’s sofa, shock still written all over his face. “Sherman saw me in my pyjamas” he whispered distantly, suddenly looking down at his chest. “And I do have puke on my shirt” he gasped, groaning loudly as he buried his face in his hands once again, hilarious whines making their way out of his mouth.

“I can’t believe they were trying to kill your spider” Alec yawned as he sat down next to Magnus on the sofa, gently patting him on the back. “And also, Simon has nothin on you. You literally look like something crafted by the gods. Yes, even when you have puke on you shirt” Alec reassured the troubled man, feeling Magnus’s head fall into his lap, his shoulder shaking with laughter.

“ _Oh my god_ , this is so embarrassing” Magnus cried, his shoulders still shaking with laughter, Alec eventually joining in.

Little did the two men know that outside the door Izzy and Simon were exchanging knowing glances as they slowly turned and walked away, sniggering slightly as they heard the raised voices from inside Alec’s apartment.

“Your brother should take anger management classes, Izzy” Simon said as they started walking down the stairs.

“Can you blame him? We almost killed his boyfriend’s spider. Speaking of which, how do you know Magnus anyway?” Izzy asked, giving Simon a sideways glance as she intertwined their fingers, swinging their hands comfortably between them.

“He’s my teacher.” Simon said as he raised Izzy’s hand towards his lips and kissed her knuckles gently. “I will never be able to look at him the same though” he laughed, bumping his shoulder to Izzy’s. “I bet 50 bucks” he said after a while, nodding politely at the doorman who let them out of the building.

Izzy looked at him with a raised, questioning eyebrow.

“On what?” she asked , intrigued, tossing her dark hair back over her shoulder as they turned left when they exited the lobby.

“That one of them will propose within a year” he stated matter of factly.

“I bet 60 bucks that Alec will propose to Magnus in less than eight months then” she smirked, a knowing smile on her lips. “I know my brother. He’s head over heels and he never half-asses anything” she said.

“You’re on” Simon said as they continued down the busy street, the sun warming their backs comfortingly in the midday rustle. “I can’t believe your cold hearted brother finally found someone who’s into that” Simon muttered, kicking some stray pebbles with his converse clad foot.

“Hey, that’s my brother you’re talking about” Izzy gasped. “However accurately” she added jokingly, laughing as Simon slung his arm around her shoulders, tugging her closer. “Seriously though, love makes you do strange things” she said and looked up at Simon, her eyes shining brightly in the midday sun. “I’m with you, after all” she said and squealed as Simon dug his fingers into her side, making her squirm happily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “You never cease to amaze me, Alec” - Shadowhunters season 1 episode 12.  
> “Hey, that’s my mother (brother) you’re talking about. However accurately” The Big Bang Theory season 10 episode 1.


	6. Chapter 6

Two days later, when Monday rolled around, Magnus was back to his usual self - he had spent the entire weekend at Alec’s place so Alec knew for a fact that he was not downplaying anything. He was humming softly to some tune in his head while swaying his hips, twirling around the room as he collected the things he needed to get ready for the day. Alec just watched in amazement from where he was still laying under the covers in his bed, arms behind his head, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. They hadn’t exactly established what their relationship entailed just yet, but as Alec observed Magnus - the way he buttoned his shirt or put on his socks - he knew that he needed Magnus in his life like this, happy and carefree and most astonishingly, with him on an Monday morning.

“Alexander” Magnus strutted over to where Alec was laying, hands grabbing at the duvet, quickly yanking it off. Alec was wearing a grey T-shirt and a pari of sweat trousers, but the gesture still made him yelp as the cold air hit his body, desperately, but unsuccessfully, trying to hold onto the duvet. “Get up or you’ll be late” Magnus insisted sternly, his hand moving to caress Alec’s warm face as he slumped back down onto the bed, Alec feeling his ring clad fingers on his skin - they were heartwarmingly gentle. Magnus sat down beside Alec, so close to the edge of the bed that Alec feared he would slide off at any moment, the man finishing buttoning his shirt before turning to face Alec again, the sun shining through the open blinds beautifully. “Did you sleep well?” he asked.

“What are we?” Alec blurred out suddenly and randomly, blinking up at the gorgeous, beautiful, and intelligent man in front of him, suddenly feeling so strongly for he other man that he accidentally, but completely, ignored Magnus’s question. It was mostly a formality anyway, asking how someone slept - Alec absentmindedly figured it somehow wasn’t the end of he world.

“That depends” he saw Magnus’s shoulders rise and fall gently as he straightened his back, voice soft and innocent, his thumb and forefinger rubbing together nervously, swallowing loudly as if he were trying to make up his mind.

“On?”Alec inquired hesitantly, truthfully a bit scared of rejection, a hundred percent knowing what his previous question had implicated.

“Do friends-“ Magnus eventually whispered and moved so he was facing Alec completely, breath tickling him as he got closer to his face once again, Magnus’s lips gracing his cheek lightly, kissing it softly. “-do this?” he asked breathlessly. Alec felt his heartbeat quicken as Magnus continued to kiss him all over his face “-or this?” he continued, Alec feeling the other man’s lips on his nose, eyelids, forehead and chin - stopping just before he reached his mouth, questioning eyes burning as if asking for Alec’s permission.

“I definitely don’t want to kiss my other friends” Alec reasoned softly, his own hand carefully cupping Magnus’s face, realising intensely that the feeling in his chest - the way his heart was swelling and the way the hair on his arms stood up straight - was unlike anything he’d ever experienced before. The feeling was so incredulously strong and overpowering, the realisation making him suck in a sharp breath, licking his lips quickly.

“Y-You want to kiss me?” Magnus stuttered out in surprise as his eyes crinkled, astonishment written all over his face as if he were shocked at what Alec had said.

 _Ridiculous_ , Alec thought to himself, _who wouldn’t want to kiss you?_

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I?” he opted, propping himself up on his elbows, tilting his head to the side as he looked at Magnus’s smiling face with glistening eyes, grinning when he realised that only one of his eyes was lined with black eyeliner and eyeshadow, making him look adorable.

“Well, you haven’t really made a move to kiss me since I last kissed you” Magnus noted in a fruity voice, lifting a perfectly shaped eyebrow matter-of-factly, the left corner of his mouth twisting upwards.

“That’s not exactly true. And besides, you haven’t exactly been well” Alec argued in turn, a beatific expression washing over his face as Magnus caressed his forehead, his rings once again a sharp contrast to his warm skin.”You barely let me be close to you” he spoke softly, moving his arms to wrap around Magnus’s back, feeling the soft fabric of his shirt as he moved his hands comfortingly in circular motions.

“You should know better than to listen to me” Magnus stated glibly, their mouths suddenly very close, their noses touching softly.

“I’ll kiss you now” Alec breathed tremulously, zealously eyeing the man towering over him.

“If you insist” the man huffed out, gaze effluent - his right arm resting limpidly on Alec’s chest as he licked his lips - eyes darkening slightly. The second their lips touched, Alec felt insidiously how Magnus gripped his shirt, the kiss much more passionate than their first kiss outside of Starbucks had been - this one alluring, full of want and relief and trust - Alec’s lachrymose eyes closing at the sensation. Alec eagerly kissed Magnus back and heard the other man moan softly, instinctively opening his mouth shamelessly, deepening the kiss further as his hands slowly travelled upwards underneath Magnus’s shirt, lightly touching the soft skin when Magnus pulled away - pupils slightly dilated and lips red, breathing heavily.

“We’re going to be late” Alec eventually said when Magnus didn’t move, staring down at Alec in a way that made his heart flutter, Magnus’s eyes unblinking as his lips pressed together into a lopsided smile.

“Well, you better get up then” Magnus reasoned but made no indication to move, eyes never leaving Alec’s face from where he was still sprawled out half on top of him.

“You’re in my way” his voices was abnormally husky - the sensation from the kiss still overwhelming to him.

“Tough luck” Magnus said teasingly, Alec rolling his eyes before quickly sitting himself up, his feet on either side of Magnus’s body, somewhat forcefully pushing them forward. Magnus let out a loud yelp as he quickly and suddenly slipped to the floor, Alec’s strong arms catching his just in time, picking him up bridal style and tossing him back onto the bed - his eyebrows raised smugly.

“I win” Alec said as Magnus laughed loudly and dulcetly, his back shaking as he eventually sat up, wiping at his eyes.

“Touché” he said mellifluously as he got up, swiftly walking over to where Alec was standing and giving him a light peck on the lips. “I could get used to this” he said as he walked out into the sitting room, Alec’s eyes trailing after him in grave amusement.

“Haven’t you forgotten something?” Alec laughed, watching as Magnus slowly retraced his steps, backing into the room cautiously only to dramatically pirouette around, raising his eyebrows at Alec yet again.

“And what might that be?” he asked, crossing his arms over his muscular shirt-clad chest.

Alec gestured to his eyes and laughed when Magnus let out a loud gasp, hearing the other man mutter under his breath as he rushed into the bathroom. If every Monday was like this, Alec thought, there was no reason to hate them.

——

The streets of New York were annoyingly busy at nine o’clock in the morning, the two men having to carefully navigate their way through the crowds of people - Alec holding onto the sleeve of Magnus’s leather jacket to prevent them from getting separated as they rushed towards the old university building - the sun munificent on their backs, warming their jacket-covered shoulders nicely. To Alec’s delight, he noticed that Magnus was still humming the same song from that morning, a nice sounding melody which Alec had never heard before.

“Hey, Mags” he called, not realising that he had addressed him by an accidental nickname, tugging the other man to a halt by his sleeve. “What’s that song you’re humming? It sounds nice” he asked and looked down at Magnus who’s makeup glittered prettily in the strong sunlight.

“Mags?” his tone confused yet cheerful, clearly not having excepted to be called anything but ‘Magnus’.

“No?” Alec winced, slightly embarrassed at his slip-up, although calling Magnus ‘Mags’ would save him a lot of time in the future. To his surprise, however, he could feel Magnus taking his hand in his, lifting it up to his mouth and giving his knuckles a quick peck, making Alec blush and look around wearily - he’d never been big on PDA but he was proud of Magnus, and he wanted the world to know that he was incredibly special to Alec.

“I actually kind of like it. No one’s ever really given me a nickname before” he admitted, dropping their intertwined hands in between them, bumping his shoulder to Alec’s casually.

“Really?” Alec wondered, intrigued at how someone as amazing as Magnus seemed to have had the worst luck with people.

“Yeah” he muttered, voice slightly strained and feckless. Alec hated this, he hated how terribly the world appeared to have treated Magnus, lines forming on his forehead as he detangled their hands, bringing his arm up and resting it around Magnus’s shoulders, pulling him closer as they continued walking.

“Idiots” Alec said obtusedly, squeezing Magnus’s shoulder trenchantly. “You never said which song you’ve been humming though” Alec finished. Magnus’s humming was tremendously beautiful, his voice soft and clear - Alec briefly wondering if he could sing as prettily, quickly realising that it was Magnus which probably meant that he was good enough for Broadway. Magnus, as Alec quickly had realised, was a man of many talents.

“ _No Me Doy por Vencido_ ” Magnus answered, the way his voice sounded when he spoke Spanish making Alec choke slightly on his own spit.

“I didn’t know your spoke Spanish” Alec retorted admiringly as they approached the university entryway, Alec letting his arm fall to his side, opening the door for Magnus as they entered, the smell of the university - a smell of old books and ageing wood - filling his nose.

“I’m what they call a useful linguis-“ before Magnus could continue, they were interrupted by a girl’s voice calling from behind them, somebody coming up from Magnus’s left and tugging forcibly on his arm. Alec turned around quickly and saw a girl, probably a first year student, with brown hair and big blue eyes staring much to lovingly in Magnus’s direction for Alec’s liking. Alec, instinctively, glared at her.

“Professor Bane” she exclaimed, her voice chipper and annoyingly loud. “Did you get my email?” she asked, walking a bit closer to Magnus and putting her hand on his upper arm. Alec could see how uncomfortable Magnus was - his lips were pressed together into a forced half smile and his back was rigid - and suddenly wished he could reach out and put his arm around the man, but knowing that inside the university it was Magnus who called the shots.

“Hello Sofia” Magnus addressed politely, nodding his head in a phatic gesture, stepping back slightly. “I’m afraid I haven’t gotten the chance yet. I was somewhat preoccupied during the weekend” the slightly disgusted tone of his voice made Alec snort with laughter, resulting in both Sofia and Magnus turning to look at him, Magnus’s gaze being filled with endearment - Sofia’s... not so much.

“Who are you?” Sofia asked accusingly, staring at Alec in disbelief and what Alec suspected might be jealousy, making him smirk boorishly in her direction. Alec felt Magnus’s hand on his shoulder, gripping it tightly and assuredly as he moved closer to his side, his black leather jacket brushing against Alec’s own coat. Alec looked down at the man, his chest tightening with pride as Magnus beamed in his direction, his teeth almost glowing in the dim hallway.

“This is my boyfriend Alexander” he said, raising his eyebrows when Sofia merely stared slack-jawed at the two men, her brows furrowing in realisation. To Alec’s surprise however, she didn’t say anything else but blushed and turned on her heel, quickly scattering away from them, disappearing into the crowd of students.

“Does that happen often?” Alec breathed as he felt Magnus’s head fall to his shoulder, the man nodding, chuckling lightly as he eventually, after a few moments, took a step back. Alec lifted his hand and tucked a loose strand of hair from Magnus’s forehead, letting his hand rest gently on the side of his head. “I understand why” he added quietly, winking in Magnus’s direction.

“Flattery will get you nowhere, Alexander” Magnus laughed and kissed Alec’s wrist lightly, moving his hand to softly remove the taller man’s palm from where it was resting, looking at Alec apologetically. “You must top. I have a reputation to uphold. I can’t be seen cuddling with my boyfriend in the hallway. My students will lose all respect for me” he joked lightly, Alec respectfully taking a step back, understanding Magnus’s sentiment.

“Well-“ Alec began. “We can’t have that” he said seriously, moving his hands so they were settled behind his back, lips pursed slightly. “Can I at least tell you that you look beautiful today?” Alec smirking mischievously as Magnus moved his hands in front of his face, his silver coloured rings on full display.

“ _Alexander_ ” he whined adorably, Alec seeing his eyes peaking out from behind his black pained fingernails, his dark brown eyes shining as he laughed, a bright pink tint covering the areas Alec could see of his face.

“What? I can’t help that you look beautiful” Alec muttered quietly as he contumaciously moved forward and pressed a gentle kiss to Magnus’s fingers which were still covering his face, stepping back slightly and squeezing Magnus’s shoulder gently. “I’ll see you tonight then--Mags” he said and turned on his heel, heading for the law department, feeling Magnus’s gaze burn into his back.

 _Boyfriends_ , Alec thought to himself as he eventually took a seat in the lecture hall, _who would have known?_

 

——

 

The time was 6.03 PM when Alec eventually made it out of the lecture hall, yawning discretely into his hand as he made his way towards the exit of the university, slowly climbing down the stairs which led to the reception, fishing out his phone from his pocket in the process, a bit disappointed when there was no text from Magnus. Alec’s day had been fantastic, his face had been twisted into a pleasant expression all day and it was all because of him. The fact that one person could make him feel this way was still foreign to Alec, not used to feeling much of anything for anyone until he had come along, his mere presence making Alec feel like he could conquer the world. He pushed open the doors and was about to descend the outdoor steps when he heard the familiar voice, loud and clear, coming from behind him.

“Alexander” Magnus called, making Alec whip his head up, quickly turning his head to the left and smiling when he saw Magnus sitting on a bench, looking absolutely stunning - his legs crossed and his glittery boots twinkling as the street lamp above him cast its light on him.

“Magnus” he exclaimed and made his way over to where he was seated, removing his backpack from its positing on his shoulder and clumsily taking a seat beside the man, so close that their shoulders were touching. “Where you waiting for me?” Alec asked as he crossed his legs, looking down at Magnus as he put his hand on the shorter man’s thigh.

“Maybe” Magnus teased, a small smile covering his face as he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Alec’s, his breath hitching in his throat at the sudden contact.

“You didn’t have to” Alec breathed as they parted, guiding his right hand to Magnus’s face, gently and briefly touching his cheek.

“I wanted to” he whispered and moved away slightly, turning his body momentarily away from Alec as he reached for his bag, taking out his phone and a set of earphones. “Take this” he ordered and handed Alec the earphones, unlocking his phone and pressing swiftly on the screen. Alec did what he was told and positioned them comfortably in his ears, looking over to Magnus as a soft tune began playing through the earphones.

_Me quedo callado_   
_Soy como un niño dormido_   
_Que puede despertarse con apenas solo un ruido_   
_Cuando menos te lo esperas_   
_Cuando menos lo imagino_   
_Sé que un día no me aguanto y voy y te miro_   
_Y te lo digo a los gritos_   
_Y te ríes y me tomas por un loco atrevido_   
_Pues no sabes cuánto tiempo en mis sueños has vivido_   
_Ni sospechas cuando te nombré_

_Yo, yo no me doy por vencido_   
_Yo quiero un mundo contigo_   
_Juro que vale la pena esperar, y esperar y esperar un suspiro_   
_Una señal del destino_   
_No me canso, no me rindo, no me doy por vencido_   
_Este silencio esconde demasiadas palabras_   
_No me detengo, pase lo que pase seguiré_

Alec listened intently, realising that this was the song Magnus had been humming earlier that day, looking over to where Magnus was staring at him expectedly. Alec didn’t understand a word, but the man’s voice was beautiful, making him smile brightly.

“It’s beautiful” Alec said when the soft tune ended, handing the earphones back to Magnus. “I can see why you like it” he added, looking out over the university grounds, the dark evening making the headlights of the cars passing by shine blindingly brightly.

“ _Yo quiero un mundo contigo_ ” Magnus said as he put his phone away, his head falling to Alec’s shoulder, reaching for his hand simultaneously. “It’s my favourite line” he breathed and Alec could once again smell his shampoo and cologne, his eyes suddenly burning with moisture, his foot gently stroking Magnus’s leg.

“What does it mean?” Alec croaked out, voice thick with endearment and emotion, feeling like the luckiest guy in the world as he felt Magnus laugh against his shoulder, the sound like music to Alec’s ears.

“I’m not telling” Magnus whispered, the two men falling into a comfortable silence as they observed the world before them, watching as cars passed by and as students hurriedly left the university.

 _It's nice_ , Alec thought to himself, _to have someone who’s silence is as comforting as their laughter._

Caught up in the moment, however, the two men did not notice the man walking past them eerily, the sound of his phone camera blurring into the busy traffic noises that represented the city. The man’s face was disturbingly twisted into a grim expression, eyebrows furrowed together as he kept pointing his phone at them, snapshot after snapshot of the couple being sent to no other than Mr. Robert Lightwood - Alec's father who did not know that his son was gay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Me Doy por Vencido by Luis Fonsi.


	7. Chapter 7

The two men walked home in silence as the evening fell, their hands intertwined as they walked - both men happier than they’d been in a long time. Alec felt lighter, somehow, the sensation of the shorter man’s touch suddenly electric, his presence a kind of pulsing sensation pushing its way through Alec’s veins making him giddy and uncharacteristically energetic. Is this what people mean when they talk about butterflies? Alec thought to himself as they got closer to their Brooklyn apartment building. Magnus - just like Alec - had not said a single word on the way home, but as Alec occasionally looked down at him, he could see his face twisted into a natural smile in the dull neon-like lighting of closed shops and crappy street lights.

The streets were dark and the air was cool, however - the effects of winter still heavily pressing down onto the city - making Alec shiver slightly, unconsciously trying to sink deeper into his somewhat thin, grey, bomber jacket, shoving the hand that was not holding Magnus’s deep into his pocket. They had sat on that bench for three hours, listening to the rustle of the city, talking to each other about everything and anything until Magnus’s pinkies had gone numb and turned a sickly yellow-white shade, naturally letting the men know that sitting outside in the dark in early April for such a vast period of time was ridiculous. Alec blamed Magnus, as he had come to do with most anything he couldn’t logically make sense of nowadays, because time seemed to stop when he was with him - Alec, honestly, somewhat seriously thinking that Magnus must be practicing some kind of witchcraft. Eventually, as he could spot the tall building, he sighed in relief - and he could feel Magnus do the same - the two men essentially rushing inside as the doorman opened the door for them, Alec smiling gratefully in his direction as the men jogged up the stairs, absolutely desperate to get inside.

“I cannot even feel my hands anymore” Magnus whined as they climbed the last flight of stairs to their floor. “I swear this was not what I signed up for when I moved to New York” he breathed, Alec seeing him shiver slightly as he himself reached for his bag, momentarily shifting his gaze upwards when they turned the corner towards their apartments, his eyes widening and his blood running cold the instant he saw a frightingly familiar man in an expensive looking suit leaning against his door - Alec knowing within a split second that that disposition, the broad shoulders and the hair that so obviously resembled his own, belonged to his father to whom Alec hadn’t spoken in over a year due to--artistic differences.

His father liked pushing people around and Alec disliked being a punching bag.

Alec let go of the hand that was still clasped in his, wincing internally as he took a step away from Magnus, making the other man turn to look at him, clearly not having noticed the man - Magnus had been busy staring at something on his phone much to Alec’s relief.

“You need to go home” he whispered to Magnus hastily before taking a few long strides away from him, quickly walking over to the man with the downcast gaze, their eyes only meeting when Alec cleared his throat as he got closer.

“Alec what are you talking about?” he heard Magnus question, his voice perplexed as Alec walked away from him - Alec clumsily fiddling with his keys trying to get the right one out to open his door before his father could notice Magnus. Alec was not out to his father yet, although he had been informed by Izzy that anyone with eyes and a functioning brain would know that he was gay - a walking stereotype might not be the most accurate way to describe Alec but he was aware that people could tell, Alec knew for instance that his mother knew despite the fact that he hadn’t told her outright either. His father had not caught on thankfully, and Alec knew that he needed to keep Magnus - the very fashionable and glitter-covered stunningly handsome man - away from his father before he got any sinister ideas.

“What are you doing here, father?” he hissed and managed to unlocked his door, pushing his father slightly out of his way in the process. His father might be an excellent manipulator but Alec was much taller than Robert, towering over the older man as he yanked his door open, the laughter that escaped his father’s throat sending cold shivers down his spine.

“Why, Alexander, that is not how you greet your father” Robert smirked, following Alec inside and closing the door quickly behind them. “Especially not after you have humiliated our entire family” he said sternly, his gaze as cold as ice and Alec felt his breathing quicken and his throat tighten - Alec might be taller but his father scared the living crap out of him regardless.

“What are you talking about?” Alec droned, raising his voice in confusion and anger and silently cursing himself when he heard the words tremble slightly, earning another loud laugh from his father. The older man walked up to Alec and slapped him across the face so hard that it made Alec stumble backwards, the taller man instinctively lifting his left hand to shield his burning face - Alec desperately willed the tears that welled up in his eyes to go away as his father’s absolute favourite thing was to watch people crumble under his hand, determined not to give him the satisfaction of witnessing him cry today.

“Care to explain what this-” Robert shoved his phone into Alec’s stunned face. “-is all about?” he growled and Alec willed his blurred vision to focus on the phone in his father’s hand, seeing a picture of himself and Magnus sitting together on the bench - Alec’s hand resting on Magnus’s thigh and Magnus’s head resting on Alec’s shoulder, their legs essentially intertwined.

Alec suddenly saw red, feeling anger well up inside his chest.

“Have you been spying on me?” he growled, not really caring if Magnus and his other neighbours heard him. His father had crossed the line this time. “Are you _fucking_ insane?” he spat and shoved his father’s phone away from him, turning around and rubbing his face with his cold hands, tugging at his hair in frustration.

“This photo, along with much more disturbing ones, were taken by a colleague of mine today. Do you have any idea how humiliating it was to receive these - you sitting cuddled up to some make-up wearing _fag_?” his father breathed in his face, coming up much too close for Alec’s comfort, his father’s hands grabbing the lapels of his jacket and pushing him forcefully against the entryway wall - Alec could feel his head hit the concrete surface behind him with such force that his vision blurred at the contact. “This is unacceptable. Your mother and I knew you were gay but this is out of line. You going out of your way to piss us off by being with-- _that_ ” so he knew, Alec thought bitterly, feeling his father’s hot breath on his face as he pushed Alec again.

Alec took a deep breath and closed his eyes slowly, fury and hatred welling up in his chest as he came to his senses and once his vision returned back to normal, something inside the taller man snapped: his trembling hands suddenly pushing his father back with a force he didn’t know he could muster, making the man fly against the opposite wall. Alec’s face glowered as he pushed himself off the wall and strode over to his father, putting his arm across his throat making the older man gasp for air.

“You listen to me” he growled in his father’s ear. “Speak to me however you wish, but I would highly suggest you leave Magnus out of this. If there is anyone who embarrasses our family it’s you. If this got out to the public, the way you treat your own family, your career would be over because all of New York would be _disgusted_ with you. Nobody would ever want a homophobic and prejudice asshole representing them in court. It’s 2018, Robert, your view is outnumbered and considered highly idiotic by everyone with a modicum of common sense and I suggest you leave this apartment now before I call the cops” Alec hissed in his father’s face, surprised at his own strength as he released his father form his hold, pushing him once more before walking over and opening his door, suddenly feeling something wet hit his face, realising that his father had spat on him.

“You disgust me” was all his father said before he walked out and shut the door so forcibly that Alec’s mirror rattled on the wall, making him jump back slightly, feeling his hands tremble in fear as he slowly turned around.

Alec’s face was aching and to his own horror he felt his eyes well with tears, trying desperately to blink them away but to no avail. Alec couldn’t remember the last time he cried, but the pain in his chest at the moment was much too sharp for him to handle, his chest heaving as he breathed rapidly - Alec thought back to what Magnus had said a few weeks before _words can do more damage than any material thing every could_ , choking out a small laugh at the truthfulness of those words.

He walked into his apartment and looked around, everything looked the same as it had that morning. He saw some of Magnus’s things sprawled out around his place--Mr Chomsky sitting in his little box on the coffee table and their coffee mugs from that morning sitting on the kitchen isle--and Alec truthfully thought he could hear the exact moment his heart shattered into pieces, his left hand coming up and clutching at his chest painfully. The day had been excellent, he had been happier than he could ever remember being, but like every time something worth having came his way, his father had managed to ruin that too.

Alec walked over to his sofa and put his hands on its back, leaning over slightly to try and calm his breathing as he heard a soft knock and a door opening, unsure footsteps entering the sitting room - Alec almost jumped out of his skin as he felt a pair of strong arms come up behind him, hugging him tightly. Alec let his chin drop to his chest as he recognised the tan arms and the black coloured fingernails and the silver rings, his eyes downcast as he felt hot drops of salty water fall down his face, his voice hitching as he felt Magnus press a kiss to his shoulder blade.

“Oh Alec” he whispered brokenly into Alec’s back, his strong arms turning Alec around to face him while Alec’s eyes never left the floor as he wept in silence. “Don’t cry” Magnus begged as he put his arms around Alec’s neck and pulled his head down to his shoulder, Alec feeling one of Magnus’s hands at the back of his head, massaging it comfortingly. Alec gripped onto Magnus’s shirt tightly as he pressed his eyes into his shoulder, for the first time since he was a baby sobbing into anyone’s embrace, his cries loud and ragged and heartbreakingly echoing in the quiet room. Alec remembered how he had held Magnus and how strange it had felt to hold a crying man in his arms - but the sensation of being comforted as he cried himself was different. It was a mixture of relief and exhaustion and Alec realised that he wouldn’t be able to stop his tears even if he wanted to. “ _Shh_ ” Magnus whispered and Alec felt him tremble slightly, realising that he was crying as well.

Alec had never thought he could hate anyone but in that moment, as he cried into his boyfriend’s shoulder - spit and what Alec suspected might be light bruising covering his face - he felt with a wave of disdain that he, in fact, truly and unwaveringly hated his father.

 

——

 

When Alec eventually calmed down, Magnus had quickly suggested that they should order some comfort food, the two men deciding to get a large pizza and some garlic bread. They were sprawled out on Alec’s sofa, their backs against one armrest respectively and their awkwardly long legs tangled between them as they ate, Alec feeling slightly exhausted from all the crying. As they finished their food in silence, Alec watched in amusement as Mr Chomsky slept on Magnus’s head - Magnus had informed him that the spider enjoyed it because Magnus’s hair was good nesting material apparently - the thought making Alec twitch his nose in slight disgust and bewilderment. Alec also realised with a sensation of guilt that Magnus was deprived of his previous makeup, his face bare and exposed, and that he had changed into a black T-shirt - this was the most casual Alec had ever seen him and he instantly worried that it was because Magnus had overheard what his father had said about him.

“Your father is such an asshole” Magnus eventually huffed out, breaking the silence that had fallen over the room, wrinkling his nose in disgust - his voice significantly and unsurprisingly hoarse from earlier.

“Tell me about it” Alec groaned as he moved his arm over his eyes. His head was pounding chronically from the crying and from being slammed into the wall, and he felt a wave of nausea build its way up in his throat - was this what a concussion felt like? Alec sighed heavily, his shoulders only relaxing minutely when Magnus’s foot caressed his leg gently, the other man making a noise of empathy from where he was sitting.

“You know what always makes me feel better?” Magnus asked, smiling slightly as Alec lifted his arm from its position, raising his eyebrows tiredly at the beaming man, a slight smirk making its way onto his flustered face.

“Alcohol?” Alec asked, his eyes crinkling when Magnus let out a strained laugh, covering his mouth with his hand and pushing Alec’s legs gently as if he were offended.

“Slightly hurtful yet very accurate, but no” he said slowly, laughing quietly into his hand. “Dancing” he said simply, poking Alec’s thigh with his foot. “Do you dance?” he asked Alec.

“Nope, but I have a feeling you do” he assumed, earning a small nod from Magnus.

“Dance with me” Magnus breathed out, excitement radiating form his eyes as he sat up slightly from his slouched position, his legs getting detangled from Alec’s in the process, gently grabbing the spider from his head and putting him back in his glass container.

“I think I might have a concussion” Alec winced, not in the mood to dance, feeling the sofa shift as Magnus got to his feet, his hand taking one of Alec’s in his.

“I’ll take it easy” he assured, gently tugging at Alec’s hand, the pain in Alec’s head sharpening slightly as his body twisted with the motion.

“No Magnus” he exclaimed, closing his eyes in defeat.

“One dance” Magnus begged and pulled on Alec’s hand again, this time a bit more forcefully - Alec gritted his teeth in pain and irritation when Magnus kept pulling on his arm.

“I said no, Magnus” he snapped and pulled his hand forcibly from Magnus’s grip, watching in horror as the movement made Magnus stumble backwards, the back of his knees getting knowledge into the coffee table, forcefully making him fall backwards half on top the coffee table - Alec felt his heart drop as he heard the other man wince loudly on the floor, seeing Magnus’s hands moved to his back as if it hurt. “Oh my god, Magnus” Alec exclaimed and sat up much too quickly for his own good, getting up from the sofa and dropping to his knees within seconds beside the other man. Magnus looked at him with tearful eyes, his gaze hurt and his lower lips trembling slightly from where it was wedged between the man’s teeth. “I’m so sorry” he whispered and gently touched Magnus’s shoulder, the other man wiping at his eyes slowly, before sitting up.

“It’s fine” he said quietly.

“No, it’s not” Alec pushed, his hand cupping Magnus’s cheek as he looked at the other man in disbelief - Alec knew there and then that he would rather be slapped by his father repeatedly than to ever hurt Magnus again. “Are you okay?” Alec inquired, moving his hand from where it was resting to the hem of Magnus’s T-shirt, tugging at it slightly. “Let me see” he pleaded, the other man turning around so his back was facing Alec. He carefully lifted the fabric over Magnus’s lower back, pressing his lips together in guilt when he saw the red indent that was prominently pulsing from where the table had hit him - Alec suddenly felt significantly more nauseous than before. Bending down slightly to take a closer look, he saw that his skin had been scraped off slightly, small drops of blood trickling their way down his muscular back, Alec bringing his thumb to gently get rid of the red drops but stopping abruptly when he felt Magnus flinch. “I’m sorry” he whispered before bending down and kissing his back softly, pulling the fabric down.

“Don’t be, it’s my fault” Magnus said as he turned his head to look at Alec. “I know I can be a lot to get used to. I shouldn’t have forced you to dance with me”

“You’re not the problem, Mags” Alec retorted, licking his lips as he moved closer to him. “I would happily dance with you any other time. But I honestly think I might have a concussion” he laughed a little, hugging Magnus rather awkwardly from behind. “Did you hear the conversationI I had with my father?” he said darkly, holding his breath and blinking rapidly.

“Alexander, we both know these walls aren’t soundproof” he joked but Alec could hear the pain in his voice, Magnus’s shoulders tensing slightly as he held him, making Alec realise unsurprisingly that he, in fact, had heard all the gory details.

“I’m sorry for what he said about you. I hope you know that I don’t think that. You look beautiful with and without makeup to me” Alec sighed defeatedly into his hair, kissing Magnus’s head gently. Magnus turned in his arms and essentially sat himself down in Alec’s lap, his head falling to Alec’s shoulder and his arms wrapping around his neck tightly, Alec gripping the other man in return, rubbing his back calmly yet carefully.

“Thank you Alexander” Magnus stuttered. “What he said about you-” he muttered silently, pressing a small kiss to Alec’s neck before continuing. “-is so far from the truth. I fail to see how you could ever be an embarrassment” Magnus admitted, his voice muffled by Alec’s neck. Alec closed his eyes and felt fear build up in his chest again as he breathed in Magnus, the scent that had come to mean the world to him.

“I got a very powerful man angry today” Alec said seriously, his noise brushing along Magnus’s cheek.

“We’ll be fine, I’m a second dan in Hapkido. If he comes back I’ll kick his stuck up ass so hard he won’t be able to sit for a week” Magnus threatened, making Alec laugh lightly.

“Is there anything you can’t do?” he breathed as Magnus moved away enough to face Alec, his eyes twinkling beautifully in the dark-lit room.

“I can’t for the life of me figure out how to yodel” he said seriously and looked up at the ceiling, his mouth turned into an adorable smile as he eventually huffed out a laugh.

“Well thank god for that” Alec laughed as Magnus hit him playfully on his shoulder, slowly moving his face towards Alec’s, their noses brushing together familiarly. Alec looked into his eyes and physically felt as his entire face twisted into an unwavering expression of happiness, slowly moving his head forward to press his smile onto Magnus’s - the kiss as light as a feather.

“Do you want to get up from here” Magnus asked as he observed Alec’s face intensely, Alec feeling as his fingers graced over the bruise that was beginning to form, his eyebrows furrowed in concern.

“I don’t think I could move even if I wanted to” Alec breathed out, everything spinning slightly as he looked around. Yeah, he concluded, I have a concussion.

“Well-” Magnus said somewhat enthusiastically. “-I’ll make us comfortable on the floor then” he stated and got up from Alec’s lap, his tall body towering over Alec where he sat with his back against the sofa - Alec suddenly realising how extremely tall Magnus actually was, something he hadn’t realised before as anyone seemed short next to Alec.

He watched in endearment as Magnus shuffled around his sitting room. He moved the heavy wooden coffee table to the side of the room, he grabbed all the decorative pillows he could find and he even ventured into Alec’s bedroom and dragged his large duvet behind him as he eventually sat down next to Alec on the large carpet that covered the area between his TV and the sofa.

“Comfortable?” he asked sincerely, breathing heavily as he slumped his back and rested his head against Alec’s shoulder tiredly. Alec nodded and closed his eyes, feeling as Magnus fiddled with something under the duvet that was now covering their bodies. “Here” Magnus eventually said and Alec opened his eyes to find that the man was holding his earphones out for him to take. “When you have a concussion you shouldn’t watch tv, so I figured we could listen to some music instead” he explained and Alec proceeded to put one earpiece into his right ear, giving the other one to Magnus who did the same. When the soft music started playing, Alec yawned in exhaustion and shuffled down so his back was flat against the rug, his head resting on one of the decorative pillows Magnus had accumulated behind them - Alec closed his eyes and instantly felt Magnus follow suit, a strong arm lazily draping itself over Alec’s body as Magnus cuddled closer, the music continuing playing.

The lyrics caught Alec’s attention.

_I'd climb every mountain_   
_And swim every ocean_   
_Just to be with you_   
_And fix what I've broken_   
_Oh, 'cause I need you to see_   
_That you are the reason_

_There goes my hands shaking_   
_And you are the reason_   
_My heart keeps bleeding_   
_I need you now_

_If I could turn back the clock_   
_I'd make sure the light defeated the dark_   
_I'd spend every hour, of every day_   
_Keeping you safe_

Alec felt his breath hitch as Magnus pressed his lips gently against his, his breath still smelling like the garlic bread they had eaten earlier.

“Alec, I was serious before. I won't let anything happen to you” he said and kissed Alec again, Alec propping one eye open with an embarrassing amount of struggle to look at the man - Magnus was watching him with an expression Alec could only describe as intensely caring, the corners of his mouth twisted down into a slight pout.

“Me too, Magnus” Alec whispered and tugged Magnus closer to him, careful not to touch the brushing on his back. “Me too”.

——

Maryse rushed down the streets of New York, her heels clattering against the uneven pavement as she hurried towards her son’s apartment - having just moments earlier listened to Robert explain what had happened the night before. It was still early, around 6.30 when she made it to his apartment building, her suit slightly too cold for the chilly morning air as she nodded politely at the doorman, striding over determinedly to the elevator, pressing the button and waiting impatiently. Her blood had run cold when Robert told her all the gory details of what had been said - and done - and her heart had broken at the thought of someone hurting her boy in that way, even if it was his own father - Maryse had made it scarily clear to her husband that her children would always be her first priority, regardless of who they fell in love with. She bit the inside of her mouth as the elevator arrived, swallowing down the bitter taste of resentment towards her husband as she pressed the button to the second floor, watching as the doors closed and feeling the lift move.

The building was excruciating quiet as she stepped out of the elevator and started walking towards her son’s apartment, the carpeted hallway quieting her loud heels as she reached for her handbag to retrieve the key she had taken from Isabelle’s keychain before she left - assuming that Alec would be asleep and therefore would be unable to unlock his door - needing to give her son a hug before she went to work. It didn’t matter that Alec was 24 years old, he would always be her little boy, and she would not be able to concentrate unless she knew he was alright.

Therefore she, impressingly quietly, unlocked his front door and took a step in, almost tripping over a pair of what looked like glittery designer boots that was carelessly scattered on the doormat. _Odd_ , she thought, as her gaze lifted from the shoes and focused on the rest of the apartment, her brows furrowing in confusion. She noticed another carelessly positioned item on the hallway floor as she took off her shoes and padded a bit further into Alec’s apartment - a leather jacket, much to small for Alec’s tall body. She picked it up and examined it - it was an incredibly nice jacket and it smelled of burnt sugar. She carefully decided to hang it up on one of the hooks next to Alec’s door, in the process putting the glittery boots neatly to the side - she definitely knew where her son got his pedantic tendencies from - before walking towards Alec’s bedroom.

As Maryse entered the sitting room, however, she stopped dead in her tracks. Before her, sprawled out on the uncomfortable floor in front of the sofa was her son, sleeping peacefully underneath his duvet and snoring softly, his hair having fallen over his forehead. Holding him was another man, his hair dark and she could see that his fingers were covered in silver rings and that his nails were painted black - the sight making her gasp quietly in surprise. They appeared to be sleeping soundly, the man - who Maryse supposed was the owner of the glittery boots and the leather jacket - was pressed closely against Alec’s back and with a pang of guilt she realised that he was the smiling and fashionable man in the pictures that Robert had showed her. She quickly backed out of the room, feeling incredibly awkward at having looked at her son and his boyfriend - she assumed - as they slept, quickly putting her shoes back on and turning to leave, stopping just as her hand touched the door handle, suddenly feeling very protective of her son.

She let her hand drop form the handle, quickly opening her bag to retrieve a small piece of paper and a pen, hastily scribbling a quick note which she carefully tucked into one of the glittery boots, straightening her back and leaving the apartment - locking the door behind her as she left.

The next morning, as Magnus was walking over to the dark entryway to get ready to leave the apartment for work, he furrowed his brows in confusion when he noticed that his boots were neatly lined up below where his leather jacket was hinging, initially not thinking much of it as Alec was incredibly and annoyingly tidy sometimes. As he put his foot inside his left boot, however, he felt a piece of paper dig into the sole of his foot and quickly took the shoe off, shaking it upside down - a single piece of white paper slowly falling to the ground, landing by his pink sock clad foot.

Magnus picked it up curiously, unfolding it and as he read the small note scribbled in sloppy but elegant handwriting, he had to bite the inside of his mouth to prevent himself from having an emotional breakdown at 8 in the morning. 

_Take care of my son._   
_-Maryse Lightwood_

Magnus vowed as he rushed out of the apartment, leaving a snoring Alec behind, that he would do everything in his power to not let Maryse Lightwood down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You Are the Reason by Calum Scott.


	8. Chapter 8

Alec awoke with a groan, his head pounding as if he had been unreasonably drunk the night before - he hadn’t, but being slammed into a wall and slapped in the face provided the same outcome, clearly.

He sighed heavily and opened his eyes, his gaze quickly adjusting to the mess that was the room surrounding him. The entire floor was covered in decorative cushions, the coffee table was still pushed to the side and the place where Magnus had spend the night was empty, the pillow still showing evidence of his head, dipping down gently in the middle.

Alec turned his whole body towards where Magnus had been sleeping, lazily letting his fingers trail over the duvet that had covered his body during the night, a small smile tugging at his mouth when he could smell Magnus’s cologne on his sheets - there was even some glitter scattered on the pillow from where Magnus’s face had rested, the eyeshadow he hadn’t removed yesterday having rubbed off slightly, making Alec chuckle out loud. Magnus would rant about not having taken his makeup off and Alec already knew that he would find it endearing when it happened later that evening during one of their daily and mandatory coffee sessions.

Lately, Alec realised, he’d become accidentally accustomed to having Magnus around so the empty apartment, as he now observed it with longing eyes, felt slightly off without Magnus’s personality gracing it with its presence.

Pressing his lips together, Alec glanced at his watch and groaned when it read 2 PM - how could he possibly have slept half a day away? Pushing himself into an upright position, Alec looked around with blurry eyes and felt his heartbeat quicken as he observed his messy surroundings - not even flinching when. to his right, atop the coffee table, Noam Chomsky was sitting and staring at him. Well, Alec assumed the spider was staring at him since its body was turned towards him and its two front legs were rubbing together creepily, making Alec shiver eerily. Alec just glared at it in return, his eyebrows raised as the spider turned on its heel and faced the other way, seemingly offended that Alec was observing him.

“Good morning to you too, Mr Chomsky” he muttered, scrubbing his nose slightly as he kept staring at the spider, only faintly realising how much Magnus had changed him in such a short period of time - the fact that Alec wasn’t plotting to kill the spider anymore was evidence enough that Magnus’s impact had been immense.

Magnus had not only changed his attitude towards spiders, Alec supposed absently, but his disposition in general as well - the way Alec held himself nowadays felt more confident, his shoulders pulled back and his face bright as he went through his days. Really, knowing that someone like Magnus wanted to be with him was enough for Alec to believe that he could take on the world, and with a jolt of adrenaline and what he could only recognise as shock he realised that Magnus was incredibly close to becoming the absolute highlight of his life - his laughter like music to Alec’s ears and his touch so carefree that it made Alec shake his head in disbelief.

Alec felt a brief sensation of panic wash over him as the thought kept replaying in his mind, wondering if Magnus's feelings were mutual, but luckily for his peace of mind, he was brought back to reality by the sound of his phone ringing, the loud tune making his head hurt slightly. He sat up on his knees, desperately trying to locate the ringing device, his hands running over the sofa frantically - finally, after a few long seconds, feeling the cool material on his hands.

“Hello?” he breathed into the phone, slumping down with his back against the sofa, his head resting on top of its seats. Alec’s face lit up when he heard a quiet laugh from the other end, Magnus’s soft breaths making his eyes crinkle. “Magnus” he stated, sitting up and running his free hand through his hair.

“Hello sleeping beauty, sounds like you just woke up” Magnus said matter-of-factly, Alec hearing the other man shuffle around quietly on the other end - a chair scraping against the hardwood floor and a creak as Magnus assuredly sat down at his desk. Alec could picture him leaning forward, his elbows resting on his desk as he talked, his painted fingernails gracing the objects positioned on his desk distractedly.

“Yeah” Alec huffed out. “I’m not really sure what happened” he laughed breathlessly, slowly getting to his feet and straightening his back with a crack, loosely shaking his shoulders.

“You probably needed the rest, Alexander” Magnus mused quietly and Alec heard a tapping sound from the other end of the phone, as if Magnus was strumming his fingers in a piano-playing fashion, his rings rubbing together in the process. “How are you doing today?” he continued, voice suddenly serious.

Alec sighed tiredly as he padded over to his kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee, the cold floor chilly on his bare feet. “I’m okay, you don’t need to worry about me” Alec reassured the man, opening one of the kitchen cupboard to retrieve the largest mug he could find, slowly walking over to the coffee machine his mother had bought him for his birthday last year to turn it on, the smell of coffee suddenly filling the kitchen and making his head instantaneously better. “How are you doing?” he continued quickly, not liking the idea that Magnus was spending his workday worrying about him.

“Hm?” he heard Magnus question, as if not entirely believing what Alec was saying, but probably not feeling like this was the time or the place to continue that conversation. “I’m good, terribly tired though” he sighed, and Alec heard as Magnus leaned back in his chair, the tone of his voice ragged and exhausted - that Alec felt guilty was be a gross understatement.

“I’m sorry” he said eventually as the coffee machine had finished brewing the black liquid, the coffee steaming hot in the cup Alec cradled as he shuffled over to his kitchen isle, positioning himself carelessly on one of the barstools.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Alexander” Magnus argued, his voice low. “I’d lose sleep any day to help you, without a shadow of a doubt” he stated quietly, the emotion radiating through the statement making Alec’s heart jump in his chest, the tall man sucking in a breath as his world suddenly started spinning - the wave of affection rushing through his body catching him off guard.

“Me too” Alec whispered, his throat closing off with emotion as his cheeks flustered. _What was this man doing to him?_ Alec thought to himself as he brought the mug to his lips, the coffee burning his tongue as he tried to distract himself by allowing the scalding liquid to overwhelm him. “Me too, Magnus” he whispered after a while and heard the other man huff out a breath on the other end, the sound making Alec want to go over there and hug him tightly. “When are you finishing tonight?” Alec wondered when Magnus didn’t say anything, hearing the other man’s breathing even out as if he was falling asleep.

“Huh?” Magnus asked, swallowing loudly. Alec heard a chair scrape against the floor again and Magnus getting to his feet, his footsteps echoing loudly in his large office. “Sorry, I can’t believe I was about to fall asleep” he laughed loudly, the sound making Alec do the same. “I finish at five, although I’m debating going home at three. My students can live without my office hours this week” he reasoned.

“You should come here” Alec said quickly, his hands gripping the coffee mug nervously. Alec loved having Magnus around - and he was fairly certain that Magnus enjoyed his company in return -, but he couldn't help but wonder if Magnus was beginning to find him clingy.

“Are you sure?” he heard the other man ask. “I don’t want to be a burden, I’ve spend so much time at your place lately that you must be longing to get rid of me” he hear Magnus joke, the utterance not coming off as lightly as the other man probably had wanted it to.

“Magnus” Alec started. “You could never be a burden. I love having you around” he finished, his tone light and he heard Magnus laugh softly on the other end, the huffs of air distorting the sound of the phone ever so slightly.

“What did I do to deserve you?” Magnus breathed into the phone, Alec hearing the man’s voice become slightly strained and feeling his own chest tighten all over again.

“I think you give me too much credit” Alec said, the attention that was entity focused on Magnus suddenly interrupted by a quiet knock on his front door, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion as to who it might be. He got up from his seat and walked out of his kitchen, through his messy sitting room and through the hallway, his hand stopping momentarily as it reached the handle, slowly pulling the door open. Behind it his mother was standing, smiling brightly where she was smiling, dressed in an expensive looking navy blue suit. “Magnus, I’m gonna have to call you back. My mother’s at the door” he said quickly into the phone, hearing Magnus mumble a tired ‘okay’ on the other end before hanging up.

“Alexander” his mother said as she stepped forward, pulling him in for tight hug. Alec could smell her perfume, and even after all these years, that smell was comforting to him - his mother had always been his rock when he was younger and he suddenly felt very grateful that she was here.

Alec wrapped his arms around his mother in turn, squeezing her tightly before releasing her, looking at her with confusion in his eyes. “What are you doing here?” he wondered in surprise, although deep down Alec knew why she had decided to stop by for an impromptu visit - when his father screwed up his mother was left to fix things, it had essentially become her job to patch the dysfunctional family back together. He backed away and gestured for her to come in, watching after her as she passed him, her navy blue suit almost black in the dim hallway. “Everything okay?” he continued when she didn’t say anything.

“I wanted to come back and see how you were holding up” she said casually as she walked into his apartment, turning around to face a perplexed Alec, his mouth hanging open slightly as he replayed her words in his mind.

“Come back? You haven’t been here in a while” he said and walked towards her, his bare feet dragging lazily over the hardwood floors as he walked into his sitting room and positioned himself on his grey two-seater sofa, his feet discretely kicking the cushions on the floor before crossing his legs as he looked up at his mother. She turned around and smiled at him, her eyes mild and bright before she in turn sat down next to Alec, bringing her hand to his thigh and admiring him through her lashes.

“I came by this morning, Alec. I borrowed the key you gave Isabelle and let myself in. Granted, I was surprised to find you asleep on the floor rather than in your bed. And you had your-- _boyfriend_?” she said and her lips tugged into a smirk, her eyebrows raised as she looked around. “-over for a sleepover?” she finished, her hand squeezing Alec’s leg comfortingly, letting him know that she wasn’t judging him.

“I didn’t hear you come by. I wish you’d woken us up, we could have had breakfast together or something” he rambled, his voice slightly higher than normal, the prosody a dead giveaway of his nervousness.

“You looked very comfortable sleeping next to each other” she said softly and took his hand in her’s, his thigh feeling cool when her hand moved away.

“Look, mom I-“

“Alec, I love you. You don’t have to explain yourself or defend your relationship to me. I trust you to know what’s best for you. I apologise that your father is the way he is” she sighed and put her head on Alec’s shoulder, her hand squeezing his tightly and her thumb massaging the back of his hand like she had done so many times when he was younger. “Are you two serious? In love?” she asked, her gaze burning into Alec’s intensively.

Alec felt his heart beat rapidly at the word _love_ , his breathing quickening when he pictured Magnus’s smiling face in front of him, his eyes a pilar of light and his laughter soft and joyful. Alec knew that Magnus meant the world to him, but he wasn’t sure if it was love - thought the way he felt about him was far from ordinary which spoke volumes.

It really did.

“It’s all very new” he decided to say, his voice low and raspy, leaning his head on his mother’s hair and letting out a deep sigh.

“I just need you to know, regardless, that I support you. The way your father acted is completely unacceptable and I’ve made it very clear to him th-” his mother said but stopped abruptly, gasping loudly and Alec felt her stiffen against his shoulder, her hand moving in front of her mouth. Alec lifted his head quickly, another loud gasp from his mother making him jump out of his skin as he quickly stood up from his position, ready to fight off whatever had scared his mother.

“What, what is it?” he yelled, his eyes darting around the room, desperately trying to find anything that might be dangerous or threatening.

“Behind you Alec, oh my goodness be careful sweetheart” she panted, pointing a finger at something behind Alec.

The tall man quickly spun on his heel and looked around, not immediately finding anything out of the ordinary, certainly not anything that would make his normally composed mother freak out so uncharacteristically much. Alec moved his gaze to the floor and realised in a split second what it was - Noam Chomsky was crawling along the rug and towards them, his eight legs moving soundlessly and quickly over the floor. Alec quickly bent down and picked up the spider, his hands only trembling slightly as he put him back in the box that was still sat on the coffee table where Magnus had left it the night before. He gave a slight chuckle as Mr. Chomsky’s legs tickled his palm as he released him, swiftly turning around and watching his mother’s face in amusement before he sat down next to her again, a smug look covering his face.

“He’s actually harmless, and surprisingly cute. Don’t you think?” he said casually, jokingly bumping his mother’s shoulder with his own.

“Why the hell do you have a tarantula in your apartment?” she asked accusingly, her face turning to face Alec’s, her eyes wild and angry. “I almost had a heart attack, you could at least have informed me of your outrageous purchase before inviting me in” she hissed, her dark brown eyes never leaving the spider.

“Relax, it’s not mine, it’s Magnus’s. His name is Noam Chomsky“ he added quickly, his mother’s shoulders relaxing slightly. “When Magnus spends the night he normally brings Noam Chomsky with him, apparently the spider has some serious separation anxiety. Which is besides me, but you know...” he huffed out rapidly, his face turned towards his mother who still had her eyes dead set on the spider, as if to monitor it and ensure that it would not leave its cage again.

“So Magnus is your boyfriend? And you’re taking care of his tarantula?” his mother tried to clarify, her voice high and unsure.

“Well, he takes care of it. I sometimes just have to put it back in its box if it escapes. I swear that spider is smarter than me sometimes” he laughed and took his mother’s hand in his, squeezing it gently. “I am sorry though, I completely forgot he was here. I should have told you, I know how scared you are of them”

“How are you doing this? Ever since you were born you’ve had a pathological fear of spiders” his mother whispered to him, her eyes finally leaving Mr Chomsky and turning to face Alec, her hand that wasn’t holding Alec’s coming up to caress his cheek lightly. Alec leaned into the touch and smiled gently at his mother, his eyebrows scrunching together in endearment.

“He’s important to Magnus” he said simply, his lips pressing together into a crocked grin, the smile that spread across his mother’s face making his cheeks burn, a light blush creeping up his face.

“Oh sweetie” she said and kissed his cheek softly, her hand patting him once more before she cleared her throat and straightened her back, her eyes blinking rapidly.

“What?” he asked, confused at his mother comment. “What is it?”

“You’ll realise it soon” she said quietly, her hand holding his firmly.

 

————

 

Alec had ordered some Chinese food when Magnus had informed him that he was on his way home from work, and was now quickly trying to tidy the sitting room, putting back the cushions where they belonged and moving the coffee table to its designated place. His mother’s visit had been surprising, but very nice, her acceptance was worth everything after yesterday’s ordeal and Alec realised with a feeling of sadness that his mother deserved so much better than his father.

As he was about to move into his kitchen to straighten up the dirty dishes that had accumulated during the day, he heard the familiar knocking pattern on the door and practically ran to answer it, yanking the door open and seeing Magnus’s smiling face beam back at him, his eyes crinkled as he stepped forward to give Alec a small peck on the lips.

“Hello, darling” Magnus whispered as he moved past Alec into his apartment, his messenger bag dangling off his right shoulder and his leather jacket hugging his back attractively. Alec closed the door behind him and turned to face Magnus, watching in endearment as the other man removed his shoes and cracked his back, rolling his shoulders in exhaustion.

“Hey yourself” Alec said and stepped forward to pull Magnus into a deeper kiss, their lips moving together in sync and Alec couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face when Magnus’s cold hands cupped his face. “How was your day?” he asked when they parted, their noses still touching as he brought his hand to tuck a loose strand of Magnus’s hair back in place, his entire face lighting up in glee as he watched Magnus giggle quietly.

“Ugh” he whined and moved back, his eyebrows furrowed tightly. “Brilliantly brilliant, of course” he said sarcastically, the brightness in his eyes never wavering.

“That bad, huh?” Alec sympathised. “I hope you’re hungry though, I essentially ordered the entire menu as I wasn’t sure what you would want” he admitted as they made their way into the tidy sitting room, positioning themselves on the grey sofa before tucking into the food that Alec had placed on the coffee table.

Alec watched smugly as Magnus’s eyes widened when he observed the five bags of takeout, his head turning to Alec as if he were crazy. “Alec” he exclaimed loudly. “I thought you were joking when you said you’d ordered the entire menu?” he pressed, his voice breathy. “You’re a maniac” he muttered accusingly, going through the different bags in confused amusement.

“Maybe” Alec joked and followed suit, his hands bringing all the food out onto the table, the two men taking a fork each and just opening everything, taking small bites and pieces out of all the containers, the only sound in the room being their chewing and the occasional giggle as they brushed shoulders or hands, both men loving the domesticity of the moment.

“Have you ever watcher _Travel Man_?” Magnus asked after a while, the food having been discarded in the bin as they only had managed about half of it - they were both too full to even consider saving any of it for later. “It’s this English TV programme where Richard Ayoade invites guests on short trips around the world” he explained and took Alec slightly clammy hand in his, squeezing his fingers.

“I have not” Alec said, his back straightening as he reached forward for his Apple TV remote, falling back tiredly as he turned on the TV, immediately accessing YouTube. “Do you want to watch it now?”

“Maybe, I think it’s something you might find very enjoyable. He’s a--he’s a very peculiar man” Magnus said and Alec had already made up his mind, his fingers searching YouTube for clips from the show and as they selected one, where the man Richard and someone named Noel went to Denmark, he let his head fall to Magnus’s shoulder, feeling the other man’s body shake as he laughed at the admittedly funny jokes and the amusing banter between the two men.

They watched in silence, the occasional laugh leaving their lips as the two men did something crazy on the screen, Alec turning his body so he was pressed against Magnus’s side after a while, his head in the crook of his neck and his feet pulled up on the side of the sofa. Alec was a tall man, so naturally it was slightly awkward, but when he felt Magnus pull him closer, he suddenly realised that he didn’t care. They sat like that for hours, laughing quietly together as the night fell - Alec would press the occasional kiss to Magnus’s neck when he giggled a bit louder than usual, earning the other man to look down at him with bright brown eyes - until much later when Alec heard Magnus sniffle quietly but prominently, the taller man’s body going ridged when Magnus’s shoulders shook slightly.

“Magnus?” he breathed, sitting up and moving closer to the man, instinctively wrapping his arms around him. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, Alec. Far from it” Magnus whispered and hugged Alec closer, the hair at the back of his head tickling Alec’s nose. “I’m just so happy” he said, his voice barely audible over the loud chatter coming from the TV, his ring covered hands caressing Alec’s chest. “Meeting you changed my life, Alexander. You and your silly comments and your beautiful face and your stupid laugh changed everything. I don’t know how I will ever be able to repay you” Magnus stuttered as Alec pressed him closer to his chest, his eyes burning with unshed tears as he observed the man before him - his beautiful demeanour, his personality, his intelligence, his voice, his clothes, and his smell.

“Oh Magnus” he sniffed, his eyes blinking rapidly to avoid crying as he kissed Magnus’s hair. “You’re making me cry” he whined and laughed when he felt hot tears make their way down his face. “Damn it, Magnus” he whispered, earning a small chuckle from the other man.

As the evening went on, they eventually decided to sleep in the bedroom for a change, the two men tiredly changing into more comfortable clothing - Magnus borrowing one of Alec’s T-shirts to sleep in and Alec getting dressed in a pair of grey sweat trouser and a black T-shirt. Magnus had a toothbrush sat in Alec’s toothbrush holder in the bathroom, his makeup remover still on full display on the bathroom counter and once they were all done, they proceeded to lay down on their respective, and very much determined, sides of the bed, - the fact that they had their own sides of the bed was slightly absurd, admittedly.

After a while, Alec felt Magnus take his hand in his, tugging him closer from where the taller man was sprawled out on his back and Alec moved so that he was draped over Magnus’s body, the familiar position comforting to the two men as their bare feet rubbed together, their breaths evening out as the minutes passed.

Alec was on the brink of unconsciousness when he heard it, the whisper that made his heart stop beating momentarily.

“I think I'm falling in love with you” Magnus voice rasped, so quietly that Alec thought he might have imagined it, the shorter man shuffling impossibly closer to Alec, their chests pressing together.

All of a sudden, as Magnus proceeded to trail his fingers down his side as he fell asleep, Alec realised that everything was falling into place - all the messy bits and pieces assembling into a complete whole - and he knew then what his mother had implicated earlier that day, it was as clear to him as anything. Especially when the lovelies person he had ever met was sleeping so close to him that he couldn't help but realised that he never stood a chance.

_Love, of course that's what it was._


	9. Chapter 9

Alec woke up slowly, his eyes squinting into the dark room that surrounded him as he reached over to where Magnus had come to spend most nights recently, but finding that he wasn’t there. Alec turned his head towards his alarm clock and furrowed his brows when it read 3.15 AM, his hands tiredly rubbing at his eyes as he sat up.

Magnus was working overtime, Alec was very aware of the fact, and the taller man had offered to help him proofread research proposals and essays he had trouble grading, but Magnus had declined politely, telling him that he didn’t need to worry and that he was on top of everything.

What made Alec worry slightly more intensively was the fact that Magnus hadn’t been with him when he fell asleep for over a week at this point, and on this particular day the shorter man had promised to come to bed shortly after him, but Alec intuitively knew that Magnus had just been trying to get him off his back.

Alec didn’t really want to pry, however, because Magnus knew what he was doing, he was a respected senior professor at the age of 27 - even considered a genius by most scholars - and as a student that was admirable - all the hard work that went into becoming so incredible was extraordinary impressive. As a boyfriend, understandably, it was harder to watch someone you had come to love - Alec still had trouble understanding precisely what that word had come to mean to him - work religiously during every waking hour to ensure that their students and other professors were happy with them, but self dismissively forgetting themselves in the process.

Sighing heavily at the thought, Alec pulled the covers off his half naked body and hissed slightly when the cool air met his bare chest, his toes curling uncomfortably when his feet touched the freezing floor. He pulled on the T-shirt that he had discarded by the bed earlier, walking quietly into his sitting room only to see Magnus on the sofa, his back half turned away from Alec and his nose much too close to the laptop for the man’s own good.

“Mags?” he croaked out, shuffling over to sit next to the man, letting his tired head fall to his shoulder. “It’s late, come to bed” he whined and kissed Magnus’s neck gently, absentmindedly realising how uncharacteristically cuddly he got when he was tired.

“Are you worried about me?” Magnus retorted, his eyes never leaving the computer screen, the words on the small device making Alec’s vision blur.

“Yes, actually. When was the last time you slept for more than three hours?” Alec shot back, raising his head from Magnus’s shoulder, clumsily reaching out for his hand and yanking it away from the keyboard, earning an annoyed sound to escape Magnus’s throat.

“Unimportant” he grumbled and pulled his hand from Alec’s grip, proceeding in silence to stare at the screen, his bottom lip wedged between his teeth in concentration.

“Look at me” Alec demanded, his right hand pulling Magnus’s left arm towards him, the gesture forcing the shorter man to do as he was told, his gaze finally meeting Alec’s - he looked wrecked. “You look exhausted” Alec breathed brokenly, his other hand cupping Magnus’s face, his eyebrows scrunching together in empathy. “You’re not taking care of yourself. At this rate, you’re going to make yourself ill, Magnus. And guess how much work you’ll be able to do then - none” Alec concluded softly, stroking the other man’s cheek repeatedly.

“I need to finish this by tomorrow” Magnus said stubbornly, but Alec could feel the way Magnus’s head nuzzled into his palm, the man’s eyes closing momentarily as a deep sigh escaped his lips.

“You can go to bed and continue whatever you’re doing in a few hours, it’s not going anywhere” Alec counter-argued, his voice deep and frustrated.

“Alec” he said firmly, his gaze desperate and his brows furrowed together in exhaustion. “This is really important, I must make it perfect, okay. You go to bed and I’ll join you soon” he said and kissed Alec on the mouth, swiftly turning his head to stare at the screen again, Alec letting out a frustrated sigh as he stood up and walked back to his bed in defeat, his feet dragging loudly as he stomped away from the man.

It had been four weeks since they had officially gotten together, Alec and Magnus having faintly gotten into some sort of routine together: they spend most days - and nights - at Alec’s place as it was, Alec argued, cleaner and neater and they respectively spend two hours on work each day - at a bare minimum - as they quickly had come to realise that without such a constraint, nothing would ever get done. Unwaveringly, Alec had loved every second of it, but being together more frequently inevitably entailed that you got an involuntary glimpse into the less excellent aspects of the other’s habitual traits, such that Magnus got very obsessive about work, and often went sleepless for long periods of time. In the beginning, Alec had thought it was admirable - a good worth ethic had always been very attractive to Alec - but now when the exam period was approaching, Magnus had started looking sickly exhausted, the dark bags shadowing his under eyes and his more hollow face structure worrying Alec constantly

Despite the worry and the disturbing train of though that restlessly bothered him as he padded back to his bed, the second Alec’s head hit the pillow and a short fraction of time later as his T-shirt clad body was once again tucked away under the thick duvet, he allowed his eyes to close, the tall man passing out within seconds.

——-

The sound of his alarm was, as usual, hell to Alec’s ears, his overworked and sleep deprived temper feeling the urge to chuck it against the wall every single morning.

Groaning, Alec glanced to his left, expecting to see Magnus but somewhat unsurprisingly, realising that he wasn’t there. Alec proceeded to get up and walk over to the bedroom door, watching over the sitting room where he saw a man-sized lump lying uncomfortably on the sofa, soft snores echoing through the room and papers, news articles and pens scattering the floor and the coffee table respectively.

Alec smiled slightly and tip-toed over to Magnus’s sleeping form, carefully bending down to give him a kiss on the forehead and stroke his cheek gently, guiltily shaking his shoulders because Alec had lectures to attend and Magnus had lectures to teach. Magnus’s face, Alec had to admit as he observed the man, looked a bit like a hot mess - his makeup was smudged, there was glitter covering his entire face, and there was a slobber of drool running from his mouth into his ‘pretty boy’ goatee - Alec suddenly felt very privileged to have Magnus trust him enough to let his guard down like this, the hand that was stroking his cheek gently brushing away some of the glitter endearingly.

“Oh Magnus” he muttered when he realised the man was out cold, not acknowledging anything that Alec was doing, the tall man shaking his head in frustration and annoyance. Alec suddenly and protectingly felt tempted to just leave him asleep, but knowing Magnus, he would kill him later when he found out. “Magnus, you have to wake up” he whispered and sat down on the floor in front of the sofa, his head resting gently on Magnus’s stomach. When he didn’t get a response he took one of Magnus’s hands, the one not currently clutched around a pen, and brought it to his mouth, pressing feathery kisses into the back of his hand. “Mags” he tried again, earning the slightest of groans to escape the other man’s mouth.

“Hmph” was all the glitter covered man mumbled, almost unconsciously trying to pull Alec down onto the sofa with him.

“Wake up” Alec said a bit louder, his voice still thick from sleep. He watched in endearment as Magnus’s face twisted in humorous discomfort, his eyes slowly cracking open and Alec couldn’t stop himself from grinning when Magnus’s gaze focused on him, his eyes immediately lighting up. “Hey” he whispered and moved forward to press a kiss to Magnus’s chapped lips.

“What time is it?” Magnus breathed, his breath still smelling of coffee which was highly alarming to Alec. “I need to get to work” he said and Alec could see the panic wash over his face, the man sitting up quickly and ushering Alec out of the way to rush into the bathroom to presumedly take a shower. “Oh and good morning, Alexander” he called as Alec heard the shower turn on, Alec trying his absolute best not to think about Magnus without any clothes on, his brain doing an absolutely abdominal job at it - Magnus was a very attractive man after all.

Alec himself proceeded to make two large cups of coffee and two pieces of French toast during the time Magnus was in the shower, hastily getting dressed - absentmindedly choosing a pair of dark washed jeans and a dark grey turtle neck Izzy had bought him - before Magnus emerged form the bedroom, the man looking absolutely gorgeous in a red blazer, slim dark dress trousers and a tight fitting yellow and white striped T-shirt, his face once again covered in fervently applied makeup and his hair styled impeccably - how the man managed to look like that after barely having slept, Alec thought somewhat bitterly, was confusing and slightly unfair.

“You look stunning, Magnus” Alec breathed and walked over to the man, handing him one of the large coffee mugs and giving him a kiss on the cheek, making the shorter man smile widely at him, his coal lined eyes warm as he blushed lightly.

“Thank you, Alexander” Magnus breathed and pressed a kiss to Alec’s lips, their lips moving together briefly but familiarly. Magnus backed away quietly and Alec could see his eyes wander, feeling himself blush at being the object of the other man’s gaze. “You look absolutely beautiful” Magnus admitted and walked past Alec, squeezing his shoulder tightly in passing, and gracefully taking a seat by Alec’s kitchen isle as he heart-eyed the breakfast that Alec had prepared. “What did I do to ever deserve you?” he questioned out loud, Alec chuckling slightly to himself as he strode over to the other man, wrapping his arms around his shoulders from behind and kissing him gently on the cheek.

“You must have done something remarkable, that’s for sure” he joked, releasing Magnus and sitting down beside him, moving his own plate in front of him and grabbing some cutlery before taking a bite himself, feeling the sweet bread water his mouth.

“Shut up” Magnus laughed and Alec could see him eyeing him sideways, his brown eyes looking tired but eager, his lips pursed slightly. “Do you want to have lunch together today? We could eat in my office” he asked, eyebrows raised interrogatively.

“Sounds like a date” Alec answered, his mouth full of toast.

—

Alec’s final, and only, lecture that day finished at 11.30, so he naturally took it upon himself to venture out into the streets of New York to find something for the two men to eat, eventually deciding to go with two salads from the university cafeteria instead because it was chucking it down outside and he didn’t feel like getting drenched.

As he purchased the salads, and two large lattes for Magnus and a black coffee for himself, he started making his way towards the social sciences and humanities part of the university campus, desperately trying to recall where Magnus’s office was located right off the top of his head. He had been to his office before, and they had eaten lunch there at earlier stages of their relationship, but those times Magnus had been the one to pick up Alec, not Alec having to make his own way over there.

Eventually, however, he did managed to navigate his way through the crowds of eagerly loud students and make it to the office, office SH503, abruptly stopping in his tracks when he heard his boyfriend yelling angrily at someone behind the thick wooden door, his normal voice raised and filled with fury.

Alec just glared at the door in confusion, having never heard Magnus yell at anyone like that before, and feeling slightly concerned about what might have provoked that attitude. When the shouting went on for another minute or so, Alec glanced at his watch and realised that it was in fact 12 - indicating that it was Magnus’s lunch break officially - and being the overprotective boyfriend that he had become much to his own horror, he decided to put the man out of his misery by knocking on the door, resulting in the shouting subsiding immediately, the sound of swift footsteps quickly approaching the door which swung open merely seconds later.

“What?” Magnus hissed as soon as the door opened and Alec could tell the exact moment he realised it was him, the anger in his eyes turning into exhaustion as he frowned apologetically. “Alexander, I’m sorry” he said and stepped forward, cupping Alec’s cheek and giving him a quick peck on the lips before turning towards what Alec now realised was an angry looking girl, probably in her mid twenties, glaring at the pair. “You can go now, Josefina” he said neutrally, his face deprived of its usual glow.

“Whatever” the girl mumbled and stood abruptly, rudely pushing her way through the pair and essentially running out of his office.

“God, give me strength” Magnus said in frustration, his hands coming up and rubbing his face repeatedly. Alec watched as the man swayed on his feet slightly and immediately moved forward to wrap his arms around the red blazer covered torso, feeling Magnus melt into his touch, his hair tickling Alec’s face in a familiar manner.

“She must really have pissed you off” Alec said matter of factly, rubbing comforting circles into Magnus’s back, the man in his arms breathing rapidly as if he were trying to calm down. “You okay?” Alec whispered into his hair, the shorter man going ridged for a moment before slowly shaking his head into Alec’s shoulder, Alec instinctively tightening his hold on the man.

“I’m exhausted, I feel weird, I just yelled at my student for asking me a question she would have known had she been to the lectures, my research funding was cut in half, I’m stressing over the five billion papers that need grading and I just-I can’t do it anymore, Alec” he mumbled, his breathing loud and uneven, the man in his arms gasping as if he were trying not to cry.

“Hey” Alec said and moved back to look into Magnus’s eyes. “You’ll be alright, you’re Magnus freaking Bane, okay” Alec said assuringly and kissed him again. “The workload will decrease in about two weeks, right?”

“I guess you’re right” Magnus said and wiped at his eyes, his makeup still perfectly situated around his watery eyes.

“In the meantime, you’re just going to have to let me help you. And I think you need sleep. Don’t take this the wrong way but you look like you could pass out at any moment” Alec retorted firmly. Magnus pouted adorably as Alec took a few steps back and walked further into the room, pausing behind the desk to position himself in Magnus’s comfortable and large chair, quirking his eyebrows in the other man’s direction, a smirk making its way onto his face. “You know, this is a very comfortable chair, it’s a shame that only one of us can use it at a time” Alec said innocently and batted his eyelashes in Magnus’s direction, the gesture making the other man laugh out loud strenuously, Alec slowly proceeding to dump his bag by the chair and put their food on the desk. Magnus slowly walked over to where Alec was twirling in the office chair and placed himself in Alec’s lap, his back pressing against Alec’s chest heavily and Alec could once again smell the intoxicating cologne that Magnus always wore. “Innovative” Alec mused, kissing Magnus’s neck in the way he knew would drive the older man slightly crazy.

“That is the word on the street” Magnus eventually joked and leaned into Alec’s touch, turning around gracefully and straddling Alec’s thighs, Alec letting out a soft moan when Magnus began kissing up his neck, Alec arching his back in response as Magnus’s touch drove him mad in return.

“God Magnus, you need to stop” Alec breathed heavily, his voice rough and his pupils slightly dilated, Magnus looking at him adoringly and giving him one final kiss on the cheek before turning around to his previous position and reaching for the bag that was sat on his desk, digging out the food and the coffee that Alec had bought.

“I’m starving” he said, gasping in appreciation when he saw the vast amount of caffeine that Alec had brought. “God, I absolutely adore you” he breathed quickly, carefully lifting one of the scalding paper cups to his lips.

They sat like that for the next hour, laughing quietly into each other’s ears and enjoying the other’s company and the food, the coffee along with the remaining edibles long gone when Alec eventually had to leave - the door having swung open at 1.15 with a student poking their head in, their eyes widening slightly as they saw their professor cuddled in another man’s lap, startling the two men.

“Sorry, Everett” Magnus exclaimed as he leaped up from his position, Alec’s lap feeling empty and cold when the beautiful man in front of him stood up. “What can I do for you?” Magnus asked the guy who looked like he might be in his early twenties, his eyes covered by a pair of large brown glasses, and his head merely coming up to Magnus’s chest. Realising that he should make himself scarce, Alec picked up the rubbish that was scattered on the desk, grabbed his rugged backpack from where he had left it by the large chair in the process, and proceeded to squeeze Magnus’s shoulder before moving towards the door.

“I’ll see you tonight, Mags” he said cheerfully as he walked out, winking discretely at the other man as he closed the door behind him, the last thing he could see being Magnus’s eyes burning warmly into his own, his smile genuine and kind.

——-

After having left Magnus’s office, Alec went straight home to his apartment, his tired and heavy feet dragging behind him the entire walk home. When he eventually unlocked his door and stepped inside, not only did it look significantly messier than he liked to maintain it, but it had a different smell to it, a sweeter more sugary scent filling Alec’s nose, and the man stopped dead in his tracks when he figured out why - Magnus had spend so much time at his place that it gradually had started smelling like him.

Furthermore, Magnus’s things were scattered all over the place, his different shoes filling his normally empty hallway, his blazers and jackets hanging neatly on the rack by his front door, and Noam Chomsky was still positioned on the coffee table where he had been left four weeks ago. Smelling Magnus on his things, and seeing his bits and bobs scattered so carelessly around his place made his heart swell, his eyebrows furrowing in endearment and his face twisting into a large smile - Alec really did love the man, not that he had mustered up the courage to admit that just yet.

Swallowing thickly, Alec proceeded into his apartment and began tidying, his obsessive tendencies making him slightly stressed out at the many new items to find designated homes for, but eventually - after approximately three hours of cleaning - Alec positioned himself on his sofa with a loud sigh, turning on the TV and deciding to watch Travel Man in silence.

He had barely watched ten minutes of the programme when there was a creative nocking pattern sounding through his apartment, Alec glancing at his watch and realising that it was five o’clock and that Magnus was at his door. Getting up swiftly, Alec straightening his shirt before walking over to his entryway, he opened the door with a big smile on his face, almost having to catch Magnus as he stumbled into his arms, his body heavy and his hair wet from the rain that appeared to be gracing the city.

“Hello to you to” Alec joked and pulled the man inside, Magnus eventually rolling his shoulders back and moving away from Alec, his eyes furrowed in exhaustion. Alec continued observing Magnus when he didn’t reply or say anything, the shorter man slowly shrugging off his blazer and tugging off his boots before pacing into the apartment, Alec hearing the man fall clumsily onto his sofa moments later. Worried, Alec quickly accompanied him into the sitting room, walking over and taking a seat by Magnus. Magnus had his head in his hands, his shoulders shaking slightly and Alec’s heart broke when he heard quiet sniffles coming from the man, his ring covered fingers gently pulling at his hair. “What’s the matter?” Alec whispered and put his hand on Magnus’s back, holding it still and waiting for the distraught man to acknowledge him.

“I don’t know. I'm afraid I don't feel very well” he rasped out, his feet stomping the floor as if they were reacting to some inaudible rhythm.

“Lay down. I’ll make us something to eat. You’re working too much” Alec said in a low voice, his hands gently pulling Magnus’s own from his face before bending down and pressing a small kiss to his temple.

Alec got up from his position and walked into his kitchen, looking around the cupboards for something quick to make, deciding on pasta carbonara and almost effortlessly preparing the simple meal, plating it up and bringing it out into the sitting room.

When he looked up as he entered, he was greeted by a snoring Magnus who had sprawled himself out on the sofa, his tall legs scrunched together uncomfortably at the end, his hands still covering his face. Alec carefully set the two plates down on a nearby side table and walked over to his, what Izzy had coined, basket of blankets and pulled one out, carefully laying it over Magnus’s body, watching lovingly as the other man’s chest rose and fell in silence.

Alec turned on his heel almost instantaneously - relieved that the man was sleeping for a change - and proceeded to have his dinner in the kitchen instead, deciding to use the opportunity to do some reading on his laptop before once again, about four hours later, walking over to where Magnus was sleeping, the slumbering man’s shoulders still rising and falling in a meditative rhythm.

The tall man placed the newly reheated plate of pasta on the coffee table in front of Magnus before siting down in front of the sofa, shaking the other man’s shoulder like he had done that morning.

“Magnus” he whispered and the other man stirred immediately, his eyes widening as he quickly sat up, his eyes wild and his face clammy. Alec had to move out of the way when Magnus stood up abruptly and started moving towards the bathroom only to stop midway and gag quietly onto the recently cleaned floor, the sounds making Alec scrunch his nose in disgust. Alec felt himself start to panic slightly, hating dealing with sick in any form, but automatically getting up from his kneeling position to rush over to the man the second he heard him sob quietly by himself, still heaving unpleasantly onto the floor. “You poor thing ,what have you done to yourself?” was all Alec could say as he took a hold of Magnus’s shoulders and guided him into the bedroom once he looked like he was done, positioning the shivering man on the bed before walking into the bathroom to retrieve a damp washcloth and Magnus’s makeup wipes, carefully setting everything down beside Magnus on the bed before kneeling down in front of him.

“I’m sorry” Magnus whispered. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’ll clean it up in a moment I just need to sit down for a minute” he croaked out, his eyes looking anywhere but at Alec.

“Stop it” Alec snapped, taking Magnus’s hands in his, rubbing his thumbs gently over his knuckles. “I’ll clean everything up. Just get ready for bed and I’ll join you in a minute”

“Alec, you really don’t have to. It’s disgusting. Maybe I should just go back to my place, spare you the--well _this_ ” he shuttered and pulled a face, his eyes closing slightly and Alec could see him gag once more, Magnus’s hand quickly coming up to cover his mouth.

Before answering, Alec walked into the bathroom and retrieved a clean bin that he hadn’t really been using and placed it in front of Magnus, raising his eyebrows as the other man looked up at him.

“It’s not a problem, and also, I’d never kick you out just because you’re not well. I’m not an ass. Besides, loving someone is a package deal after all, you love none of it or you love it all, right?” he said and sat down next to Magnus again, silently plotting how to get everything cleaned up with the least amount of effort as he patted Magnus on the black.

“You love me?” Magnus questioned, his trembling tone breaking Alec’s heart.

“I’m a pathological germophobe, I don’t just let anyone stay in my apartment when they’ve been sick” he said and rubbed Magnus’s back as he shrugged forward to silently dry-heave into the bin once more, his blazer clad shoulders shaking violently as Alec’s face twisted into a mix of disgust and sadness at the sight.

“I love you too” he breathed as he carefully lifted his head in Alec’s direction, his face clammy and his eyes watery.

“How romantic” Alec said sarcastically, his lips tugging into a grin when he heard Magnus choke out a laugh beside him.

“I’d kick your butt but I’m afraid I’ll pass out if I move” Magnus said in a husky voice. “Even though me being unconscious is the only way to remotely even out the battlefield, I’m an excellent fighter, Alexander” Magnus joked and winked tiredly at the younger man, Alec lightly kissing him on the cheek before walking over to the bathroom to retrieve his mouth wash, causally handing it to Magnus.

Eventually, when Alec had finished cleaning up the mess outside his bedroom - which Alec had to admit was horrifically unpleasant - the two men fell asleep next to each other, their bodies entangled as the night fell into a dark abyss.

Before Alec had met Magnus he had configured this-- _idea_ of what love might be, something light and happy that was to be shared between two people. But, as the night went on, and as the shorter man kept waking up to cough into the bin and as Alec kept removing his sweaty bangs form his eyes, he realised how wrong he had been. Love was not solely about being blissfully overjoyed and sickly sweet, but about being selfless - continuously emptying that bin even though it was gross and he was tired, kissing Magnus even when he smelled of sick and sweated horrendously, and holding him as his shoulders shook with exhaustion and stress. Love, Alec realised, was not merely a feeling to him anymore but had, somehow, become synonymous with Magnus.

And if that didn't scare the living crap out of him, he didn't know what would.


	10. Chapter 10

Alec would be lying if he said that Magnus having been off work for a week wasn’t driving him slightly crazy, because it was. The man was restless, frustrated, annoyed and Alec couldn’t do anything about it because Magnus was not allowed back to work for yet another week - the doctors having confirmed Alec’s suspicion that the shorter man had worked and stressed himself to such a state that his immune system had hit rock bottom, making him hyper receptive to the most common infections.

Like the flu which he had contracted the week before.

What made it worse was the fact that Alec still had to attend university, that he had after-uni clubs to maintain and that he every so often would go out with Jace and Izzy, leaving Magnus alone in his, or the other man’s, apartment depending on the night. Alec did feel guilty for enjoying himself when Magnus was miserable by his lonesome, but the older man had made it painfully clear to Alec that he would not tolerate any pity, his stubbornness making him look adorable which he, in turn, had forbidden Alec from mentioning.

Which only added to it, really.

Regardless, Alec felt incredibly bad for him, his heart breaking when Magnus would make himself look beautiful only to be stuck inside all day, despite the fact that Alec - being the know-it-all and besserwisser that he was - had to bite his lip every time Magnus complained to stop himself from saying _I told you so_ and risking getting killed in return.

Therefore, on a particularly bad night - as Alec watched in bewilderment from where he was cooking dinner how Magnus chucked a fashion magazine across the room before storming into the bedroom and shutting the door forcibly behind him - the tall man knew that he wanted to do something special for the man, something that would make him slightly less stressed out about the fact that he wasn’t allowed to be stressed out.

Biting his bottom lip habitually, Alec put down the spatula he was using to fry the meat and picked up his phone before dialing his sister’s number, patiently waiting as it rang for a few seconds before her chipper voice echoed from the other end.

“Hey, big brother” she exclaimed, Alec smiling to himself at how happy she sounded, picking up the spatula again and twirling it in his right hand.

“Hi Iz, listen-“ he started, unsure how to proceed. “-do you want to go shopping with me tomorrow?” Alec asked, his tone soft and quiet as he did not want Magnus to hear, the frying pan making fizzy noises as he flipped the meat over, stirring the pasta simultaneously as he balanced the phone between his left ear and shoulder.

“Who are you and what have you done to my brother?” she joked and Alec could hear her speaking quietly to somebody in the background - probably Simon Alec mused annoyingly - before returning to the phone, even her breathing sounding light and gleeful.

“Ha ha very funny, Iz” he mocked and walked over to the fridge, grabbing the pot of crème fraîche that he had purchased earlier that day before shutting the door and shuffling back to the stove, emptying the contents into a saucepan and stirring the white liquid with a wooden spoon - Alec had been told he was rather excellent at multitasking. “I’m serious, it’s for-” he looked around, his gaze ensuring that the man was still behind the closed bedroom door before continuing hesitantly. “It’s for Magnus” he whispered and heard his sister squeal through the phone, the tall man almost dropping the phone as the high pitched sound essentially burst his eardrum. “Ouch” he hissed as he heard Izzy clap her hands excitingly on the other end of the line.

“Yes” she eventually said as she calmed down, her voice breathy as she shuffled about, Alec hearing how she grabbed what sounded like a piece of paper and a pen. “Anything particular you have in mind?” she said seriously, Alec knowing full well how much she enjoyed fashion and whatever came with it.

“I’m not sure” Alec began, his mind wandering trying to figure out what to get the man, his brows furrowing as he tried to remember if there was anything Magnus had looked at recently that he would like. “A silk scarf? Maybe a bracelet? I don’t know, that’s why I’m calling you” he muttered into the phone, his hands busy grabbing spices and flavouring the natural crème fraîche messily.

“Alright, I can work with that” Izzy said and laughed enthusiastically. “Meet me outside of Louis Vuitton tomorrow at ten, don’t be late” she said before hanging up, the line going flat in his ear. Alec rolled his eyes and put the phone down, realising in endearment how incredibly similar Magnus and his sister were - both slightly overdramatic, fashion loving, charming individuals that he loved with all his heart.

As Alec continued cooking, he kept pondering what exactly to get Magnus, realising relatively quickly that he wanted to give him a red silk scarf of some sort, and possibly a matching bracelet. Alec had realised rather early on that Magnus looked stunningly good in red, and recently - as Magnus’s fashion choices tended to represent his mood - the other man had dressed almost entirely in black and darker colours, Alec once again rolling his eyes lovingly at the slight overdramatic nature of the man - but truly and wholeheartedly knowing how lovely it would be to see him dressed in happier colours again - stirring the crème fraîche mixture slowly, his heart feeling light and happy at the thought of doing something nice for Magnus. Smiling goofily to himself, he finished making the dinner and plated it up carefully on two plates, carrying them into the sitting room and walking over to the bedroom once everything was ready - lit candles, a bottle of red wine and two wine glasses placed neatly on the coffee table - knocking softly on the wooden door before entering.

“Magnus?” he asked and poked his head in, his eyebrows raising in surprise when he saw what Magnus was doling: the man was stood in an unusual position, his hands twisted together in a weird fashion and his legs bent uncomfortably, his eyes closed and his deep breathing was impressively even. “What are you up to?” Alec asked slowly and hesitantly, taking a few steps into the messy room, chuckling to himself when Magnus opened one eye to glare at him, his coal lined eyes looking gorgeous in the evening light that filled the room.

“I’m trying to channel my inner chi, Alexander” he said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, the man slowly getting up from the strange position and walking over to Alec, looking at him curiously. “You should try it some time” he said and kissed Alec on the cheek, the corners of his mouth twisted into a small smile.

“I think I’ll pass” Alec breathed and pulled the man into a tight hug, swaying them slightly as he kissed his head. “Hungry?” he asked as Magnus stepped away, his head bowed down but his gaze never leaving Alec’s.

“Always” the man said and Alec took his warm hand in his, leading them through to the sitting room, the coffee table lit up by the candles and the pasta covered plates looking delicious in their light. “It looks amazing” Magnus stated and walked over to take a seat on the sofa, his eyes filled with love as he looked up at Alec. “Thank you”.

“My pleasure” Alec said and took a seat next to the man, their shoulders touching as they ate, soft music playing in the background as they talked quietly to each other and devoured the food. Once they were finished, the only thing remaining on the table being their glasses of red wine, Alec turned the music up slightly, knowing that it relaxed both Magnus and himself tremendously. The playlist was a mix of older songs, newer songs, and even some classical music as it echoed throughout the apartment, Magnus singing along to most songs with lyrics and Alec admiring his tone form where he was sitting next to him. Magnus was an excellent singer, and when ‘Saturn’ came on, and Magnus began singing the non-instrumental parts casually, Alec thought his heart might burst at how incredibly beautiful it sounded, the notes falling from the other man’s lips so effortlessly and the emotion in his voice almost bringing tears to Alec’s eyes.

 _You taught me the courage of stars before you left._  
_How light carries on endlessly, even after death._  
_With shortness of breath, you explained the infinite._  
_How rare and beautiful it is to even exist._

 _I couldn’t help but ask_  
_For you to say it all again._  
_I tried to write it down_  
_But I could never find a pen._  
_I’d give anything to hear_  
_You say it one more time,_  
_That the universe was made_  
_Just to be seen by my eyes._

 _I couldn’t help but ask_  
_For you to say it all again._  
_I tried to write it down_  
_But I could never find a pen._  
_I’d give anything to hear_  
_You say it one more time,_  
_That the universe was made_  
_Just to be seen by my eyes._

 _With shortness of breath, I’ll explain the infinite_  
_How rare and beautiful it truly is that we exist._

When the song finished and Magnus went quiet, looking down at his hands and smiling to himself, Alec couldn’t help but move forward and tilt his chin upwards, slowly bringing their lips together in a feverish heat, their mouths moving in perfect sync as Alec opened his lips a bit wider, allowing Magnus to deepen the kiss.

Magnus tasted like wine and Alec could feel the other man’s hot breath on his face when he pulled away briefly, the man looking back at Alec with that glint he only got in his eyes when he felt loved, and almost serendipitously, as Alec glanced back at him - his own gaze warm and filled with love - something in the atmosphere shifted, Alec’s eyes widening when Magnus’s lips suddenly were back on his, the slow moment quickly transforming into need and want and trust, hands grabbing more hungrily and breaths becoming more ragged.

Alec felt his hands move under Magnus’s shirt, caressing the soft skin as he pulled him on top of him, the shorter man’s body suddenly grinding into his own, the sensation making Alec moan out loud, gripping the back of Magnus’s head as the other man started kissing down his neck.

Alec pulled the velvet shirt that Magnus looked beautiful in over his head and carelessly tossed it behind him, Magnus looking absolutely sinful in the dim lighting as his hands fumbled with Alec's zipper, his eyes glancing up at Alec in question and Alec nodding groggily in his direction, Magnus’s hands steady and beautiful as he removed Alec’s trousers, slowly kissing his way up Alec’s chest.

“Alec” Magnus panted into his mouth, his ring covered hands clumsily removing Alec’s shirt. “Alec, I need you” he moaned and Alec’s vision went black for a second, his mind only registering what had been said by the other man a few seconds later.

Magnus and Alec had yet, despite their close and intimate relationship, taken the next step, Alec always waiting for Magnus to take the initiative - today appeared to be the first time nothing else had come in the way - and Alec felt himself moan at the thought as he slowly lifted Magnus with him as he sat up, the shorter man straddling his lap.

“Then have me” Alec whispered into his ear and carefully lifted the other man as he got to his feet, feeling how Magnus hooked his ankles behind Alec’s muscular back, the two men kissing as Alec moved the pair towards the bedroom, the couple giggling quietly into each other’s mouths as Alec walked swiftly, clinging onto Magnus for dear life, his skin soft and smooth against his hands - the two men flopping clumsily onto the unmade bed mere seconds later.

Alec proceeded to kiss down Magnus’s bare chest, his lips moving down until he reached his zipper, his eyes meeting Magnus’s briefly. Magnus nodded hastily as Alec unzipped his dress trousers, removing them quickly and bringing his head back up to clasp his lips to Magnus’s, the shorter man’s hands tangling in his hair instantly. Magnus reached down and pulled Alec’s underwear down, Alec doing the same and watching with desire how his eyes rolled back as they moved together, slowly getting used to the feeling of the other person’s naked body against their own.

In no time, they were moving together more intimately than they had ever done before, their warm bodies rocking in sync as Magnus prepared them both, Alec looking at the man and smiling hazily, his hands cupping the shorter man’s red face as Magnus continued, Alec letting his head fall back in pleasure.

“Mags, god, right there” Alec panted and Magnus moaned in response, manually continuing before removing his hand and pushing himself in, gently but completely.

Alec hissed as Magnus’s forehead collided with his chest, their noses mere centimetres apart when Alec realised that Magnus might actually be the death of him - it was that good.

Well, Magnus was excellent - as he apparently was at everything he put his mind to - and once they were connected in the most intimate of ways, moving together to the beat of whatever song was playing in the sitting room, Alec held onto Magnus as hard as he could, the man’s moans the only sound filling his ears as time suddenly moved slower.

Alec looked at Magnus - his lined eyes black with desire and a sheet of sweat covering his gorgeous face - as they both finished, clutching onto each other, their nails scratching ever so slightly into the other’s skin before Magnus eventually fell on top of Alec, both men blinking back to reality as their breathing evened out.

Alec knew in that moment that he had never loved anyone as much as he loved Magnus.

“I love you so much” Magnus breathed into his ear, his arms wrapping around Alec’s torso, their legs lazily intertwined as a comfortable silence fell over the room - apart from the music that still sounded through the speaker from the other room.

“I love you too” Alec whispered and rubbed the other man’s back lovingly, feeling Magnus nuzzle his nose into the crook of his neck and before they knew it, they were falling asleep, forgetting all about the mess in the kitchen and the candles still burning in the siting room - their chests rising and falling in sync as they slept soundly.

Alec woke up momentarily some time later and pulled the duvet over them, covering their cold bodies before he closed his eyes once more, holding onto Magnus as if he were the most precious thing in the world, almost instantly falling back into a pleasant unconsciousness with a big smile on his face.

——

Alec woke up to the sound of the shower running, quickly glancing at the alarm clock on his bedside table and realising that it was 8.30. Alec sat up slowly and winced slightly, the events from the night before having left him sore but the smile that was gracing his face never faltered. Cracking his back loudly, Alec bent down to the side of the bed to pick up his boxers before getting up, his bare feet barely audible as he walked towards the bathroom and knocked on the door, the sound hardly overpowering the running water.

“Can I come in?” Alec asked loudly, hearing Magnus hum in agreement as he stepped in, the steam from the hot water making him gasp slightly. Magnus poked his head out from behind the shower curtain, his hair dripping as he smiled adorably at Alec, his tan skin a vast contrast to the white tiles behind him.

“Good morning, darling” he said and quirked his eyebrows in Alec’s direction. “Care to join me?” he asked innocently, his eyes warm and inviting. Alec only laughed and shrugged off his boxers, putting them in the washing basked situated in the far corner of the bathroom before stepping into the shower, feeling the heat of the water hit his back - the sensation making him groan in appreciation.

“Keep making those sinful noises, Alexander, and we’re going to end up in the same situation as we did last night” Magnus flirted and moved froward to kiss Alec on the cheek, the shorter man having to lift his heels off the ground to reach properly. “How are you feeling?” he asked more seriously, bringing one hand to Alec’s upper arm, gripping in tightly.

“I’m fine, a bit sore but good. Excellent actually” Alec breathed and smiled at Magnus, their eyes lingering on each other as Alec turned around halfway to let the shower head soak his body, his hands rubbing at his hair. Grabbing the shampoo that was sat there, one of Magnus’s he noticed with a smile, he poured some into his hand and massaged it into his wet hair, looking in Magnus’s direction the whole time - the smell of sandalwood quickly filling the bathroom. “What have you got planned today?” he asked the other man, closing his eyes as he rinsed the foam from his hair, the water running over his face.

“Oh I don’t know. As I’m currently being held prisoner, I might knit, or watch reruns of some dumb show, possibly bake something or just numbly sit and stare out the window. Whatever mood I’m in later” he said jokingly, Alec moving his hand to touch Magnus’s nose gently, the other man’s face scrunching up sweetly at the contact.

“I wish I could stay with you but I have some things planned with Izzy” he said apologetically, but knowing that what they were doing would surprise Magnus later that evening, making him feel significantly less guilty about going out. The other man looked a bit disappointed, but his expression quickly turned to happiness, taking a small step towards Alec and hugging him tightly, their bodies almost as close as they had been the night before.

“I know I keep saying it but Alec, I’m incredibly happy that we met” Magnus whispered, his eyes earnest and his lips pursed slightly, his posture authoritative but kind and Alec blushed at how incredibly good he looked.

“Me too, Magnus” Alec answered as he had done every other time, it never having felt more true than it did in that moment. Alec reached for the bottle of shampoo again and squeezed some into his hand, carefully dripping it onto Magnus’s hair, Alec gently starting to massage the foam into his scalp and seeing how Magnus relaxed instantly, his head moving along with Alec’s hands.

When they eventually finished in the shower, Alec had to get ready in a rush, running around his apartment trying to find something presentable to wear to the designer store Izzy wanted to take him to, knowing from previous experiences that you got better service in such places if you looked rich, Alec’s rolling his eyes as he grabbed his most experience blazer and a nice button up, dressing hastily before walking into the kitchen where Magnus was sitting, grumpily knitting what looked like an—interesting scarf.

“What’s that you’re making?” Alec wondered, laughing slightly as he touched it, the pieces of thread essentially falling apart as he held it.

“I’m making a scarf” Magnus muttered and looked grimly down at the mess of threads, his lips formed into a slim line as he scrunched his eyebrows together.

“It’s good—um, unique” Alec observed and nodded his head approvingly, forcing an impressed expression to make its way onto his face as he moved his gaze from the ‘scarf’ to Magnus himself, the man looking absolutely stunning in a silk robe and a pair of blue silk trousers, his Gucci slippers covering his feet casually.

“It’s crap, I’m fully aware” the man said and laughed quietly to himself, putting the project down on the kitchen isle as he looked up at Alec, his face twisting into a large smile. “Well, dressed to kill today I see” Magnus mused and stood up quickly, moving forward to cup Alec’s cheek with his hand, Alec blushing slightly at the comment.

“You don’t look so bad yourself” he said and observed Magnus’s face as the man stared at him, his makeupless face a true sight to behold. “I have to go now, I’ll let you know when I’ll be back and you know the drill, cal-“

“Call me if you need anything, I know Alexander. I can take care of myself” Magnus exclaimed dramatically but sweetly, kissing Alec on the mouth swiftly before moving back slightly and crossing his arms over his chest. “Off you go, my love” Magnus muttered as Alec backed away from him, the tall man turning on his heel and heading for the door, putting on a pari of nice dress shoes in the process.

“I’ll see you later, I love you” Alec yelled before he closed the door behind him, excited about the shopping trip - he’d never once thought those words would even cross his mind - with his sister, smiling widely to himself as he waved goodbye to the doorman as he left the building, the hot-ish spring sun warming his back nicely.

——-

Magnus had spent almost the entire day in front of the tv, rerun after rerun of Modern Family appearing on the screen, and Magnus had actually, and quite surprisingly, enjoying himself a lot.

Last night with Alexander had been perfect, his chest tightening as he thought about the tall, handsome man he had come to love so dearly - Alec honestly putting everyone Magnus had ever been with to shame without a shadow of a doubt - the way Magnus felt about him almost making him scared as he was nutritiously good at getting his heart broken by people he had come to love and trust. After a while of absentmindedly watching the programme and letting his thoughts run wild however, Magnus started to feel annoyingly peckish, and as he decided to walked over to Alec’s kitchen and make himself another cup of coffee instead of anything edible - his poor body suffering from slight caffeine deprivation - there was a loud knock on the door. Initially, Magnus had ignored it, it wasn’t his apartment therefore whomever it was could come back later when Alec was home, but as the knocking only got louder, Magnus tied his robe sloppily over his bare chest and shuffled over to the door, swinging it open slowly. Standing behind it was a man who resembled Alexander slightly, his hair was similar to his lover’s and his facial features carried some resemblance to Alexnader’s as well. Magnus furrowed his brows apprehensively when he connected the dots, eyeing Alec’s father wearily from where he was standing.

“Is Alec home?” the man asked coldly, his tone sharp and loud. Magnus just blinked at him and swallowed thickly before answering, his tone chilly and authoritative in return.

“He is not” Magnus retorted, straightening his back significantly and realising rather smugly that he was much taller than the man.

“You must be Magnus Bane then” Alec’s father stated matter of factly, his hand digging into the inner pocked of his black suit jacket, obviously searching for something Magnus wasn’t sure he wanted to see.

“That would be Dr. Bane to you, sir” Magnus said passive-aggressively, backing into the apartment slightly as he observed the man quietly, his eyes widening once the man pulled an envelope out of his jacket.

“Inside this envelope is a 100 000 dollar cheque. Take this envelope, cash the cheque and leave Alec alone. I don’t want you or your kind anywhere near my son” the man said angrily, shoving the white envelope into Magnus’s hands before turning on his heel and walking away quickly, Magnus staring at the man with his mouth hanging open - his hands trembling as he clutched the envelope tightly.

Suddenly feeling sick to his stomach, Magnus shuttered out a breath and looked at the piece of paper in disdain, unable to orchestrate a plan or know what to do.

100 000 dollars was an intimidating amount of money.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saturn by Sleeping At Last.


	11. Chapter 11

Alec was known for being incredibly indecisive, which was why when the shop assistant presented him with five different red silk scarves he was tempted to call it a day and give Magnus a bouquet of flowers instead. To his defence, they were all stunningly beautiful, perfectly red with different patterns and Alec was fond of them all, his sister equally hazy where she stood by his side, looking at them seriously, her bottom lip wedged between her teeth.

“I like this one” she said as she pickled up one after a while of consideration - it was a clear red scarf with maroon lines running diagonally across the silk, the gold lining looked stunningly prominent against the background and it was possible, according to the shop assistant, to engrave it with initials in a matching nuance. “I think he’d look really good in it, don’t you think?” she asked and turned to Alec, her brown eyes bright.

Alec reached for the piece of fabric and examined it a bit closer, feeling the soft material almost slip out of his grip. “You think so? He mostly wears silver jewellery though, shouldn’t this match that?” he wondered hesitantly, his brows furrowing slightly as he inspected the scarf, feeling the shop assistant’s eyes burning into the back of his head as he squinted at the fabric.

“I apologise if I’m being too forward, but what is his eye colour?” the shop assistant standing behind them asked, Alec turning around swiftly to look at her as she continued speaking. “Also, is his jewellery silver, white gold or stainless steel?” she continued and Alec just stared at her in confusion, his eyes narrowing as he tried to recall the metal of his boyfriend’s rings - they were silver but so were all the choices the girl had presented him with. Unmoving and perplexed, Alec felt his sister dig into the pocket of his suit jacket and grab his phone, Alec’s head twisting so quickly in her direction that he thought he might get whiplash.

“What are you doing?” he hissed at her, trying to retrieve the phone from her hands but to no prevail, her fingers unlocking his password protected phone with disturbing ease - Alec had to remember to change his password later apparently - her eyebrows raising slightly as Alec rolled his eyes at her annoyingly.

“Here” Izzy said after a while of having observed what Alec presumed, and sincerely hoped, was his phone’s photo album, shoving the phone which displayed a picture of Magnus into the shop assistant’s hands, who’s name tag, Alec noted, had the name Alexandra written across its surface. From where Alec towered over the girl, he could see that the picture Izzy had picked showed a brilliantly smiling Magnus. In it he was wearing a bright blue silk shirt and his hair was styled into tall spikes, his eyes were neatly lined with coal and he was looking at something to the camera’s left, his eyes crinkling beautifully at whatever it was. His ring covered fingers were in the picture as well, displayed neatly where he rested his head on them, twisted into each other as the picture had been taken - Alec could barely take his eyes off the photo.

Alexandra’s eyebrows shot to her hairline as she looked at the picture, her knowing gaze meeting Alec’s after a while of observing the photograph. “Professor Bane” the girl said, smiling to herself as she looked at Alec, her eyes warm. “Now I understand where he gets his magnificent and expensive pieces of clothing from” she smirked in his direction, side eyeing Izzy as his sister gave her a knowing look.

“You know him?” Alec exclaimed, his voice sounded surprised but in all honestly, Magnus seemed to be acquainted with most people they had come in contact with oddly, so he really ouch not to be too perplexed.

“He’s my professor” she explained and handed the phone back to Izzy. “How’s he doing, by the way? He hasn’t been teaching in a while” Alexandra said and Alec could see the genuine worry in her eyes, Alec feeling his heart burst with happiness at the knowledge that Magnus’s students cared so deeply about him.

Alec smiled at the girl and nodded his head slightly, closing his eyes momentarily to try and formulate what he wanted to say - and inevitable what he could say without destroying Magnus’s ‘perfectly crafted’ image. “He had to take some time off, you know. He’s doing well though” he smiled and looked down at the scarf in his hands, suddenly remembering why they were inside the extremely posh and expensive shop in the first place. “So, judging from the picture that my sister so kindly showed you without Magnus’s consent” he muttered, glaring at his sister where she was smiling widely next to him, her hands resting on her tiny waist. “Do you think the gold will go with his jewellery?”

“The rings I’ve seen him wear daily are made of stainless steal, so gold doesn’t normally clash with it, we have an alternative of the scarf with mesh navy lining if you’d prefer that to the gold however” Alexandra said professionally, looking down at the iPad that was strapped to her hip, her fingers moving effortlessly over the device before removing it from its case and handing it to Alec. “As you can see, where the gold lining was before, there’s the navy blue I was talking about. We have this one in stock so I can easily get one for you to look at” she stated quickly.

Alec looked at the scarf in the picture and smiled brightly - it looked perfect. “Could you? That would be lovely” he said to Alexandra and handed the iPad back to her, turning slightly to his left to look at izzy. “I think I like that one the most” he said to her as she nodded, her lips pursed into a slight smirk.

“Me too, Magnus is going to love it” Izzy agreed and Alec could feel her hand on his arm. “Didn’t you want to look at a bracelet too, a matching one?” she remembered and turned around, Alec following suit, his wide eyes scanning the impressive store and almost instantly spotting a section of jewellery across the minimalist room.

“We actually just got a new delivery of male jewellery yesterday, come with me” the girl said enthusiastically, walking quickly across the marvel floor, her heels loud against the hard surface. Alec and Izzy trailed behind her, their own footsteps echoing as they were the only people apart from three security guards in the shop. When they came to a halt, Alec saw an entire row of bracelets, each and every one of them beautiful and unique but there was a red one that immediately caught his eye, Alec knowing almost instantaneously that it would look amazing on Magnus.

“Could I look at the red one, please” Alec said to Alexandra politely, absentmindedly hearing how a door opened and closed behind them and how another set of footsteps rapidly approached where they were standing, whoever it was catching Alexandra’s attention before she could reach for the bracelet.

“Thank you, Andrew” she said to the person, Alec turning around to look at another shop assistant standing there, a delicate box in one hand and a tray on which two glasses of bubbly champagne were balanced in the other. Alexandra reached for the box and gestured with her free hand to the tray, smiling widely at Alec and Izzy. “Would you like a glass of champagne?” Alec stared at her, not entire sure that drinking alcohol at ten in the morning on a Saturday was how he wanted to start the day, but nevertheless grabbing it politely as his sister glared at him, nodding a phatic ‘hello’ in the other man’s direction before turning towards the glass cabinet once again. Alexandra hauled a big keychain from her belt and carefully unlocked the glass door, sliding the row of bracelets out and gently taking the red one off, its silver clasp shining prettily in the bright lighting of the shop. “This one?” she asked and looked at Alec, the tall man nodding in return. “Right, this is from our tropical flower collection. This particular one is a signature of the collection with a Hawaiian inspiration as you can see by the shards of pearl that make up the body of the bracelet. The clasp is 18 karat white gold and because it’s made of pearl and white gold, he never has to take it off” Alexandra breathed quickly, handing the bracelet to Alec, the quality heavy in his hands and as he observed the colour more closely, absolutely certain that Magnus would love it.

“It’s great” he said and handed it to Izzy, ultimately trusting her judgement better than his own. “Right?” he inquired with his eyebrows raised, his voice soft and light as he once again looked at Alexandra, suddenly remembering that he would have to pay for both a scarf and the bracelet. “How much is it?” he asked in fake confidence, his posture ridged as he saw the girl grimace slightly, her mouth twisting into an unsure smile.

“The bracelet is $380” she said hesitantly, her answer almost knocking the air out his lungs, not that he was expecting anything less when shopping at Louis Vuitton.

Alec nodded to himself, feeling his sister’s gaze on him as he looked at the box that Alexandra was clutching in her hands, the scarf that would go so perfectly with the bracelet inside. “Could I take a look at the scarf, please?” he mused and accepted the box that was handed to him, carefully lifting the lid and seeing the beautiful material unfold before him, painfully realising that he was going to get both the scarf and the bracelet - it was a good thing that his trust fund was much bigger than he liked to admit to anyone. “And this one, how much is it?” he asked, but knowing from experience that it would cost about the same, having bought a silk scarf for his mother for her birthday the year before.

“The scarf, without the initials, is $320. With initials which will take about three hours for our tailor to perfect, $360” she said and smiled at Alec, her suit jacket hugging her shoulders in a way Alec thought looked incredibly uncomfortable.

“I’ll take both of them, please. And could I get the scarf engraved as well”

——

Half an hour later, after fuzzing about with the payment and sorting out with the tailor how, where and in what colour Magnus’s initials should be engraved, Izzy and Alec left the shop with the bracelet in one bag, having to come back later that day to pick up the scarf. Alec felt happy and light, and although he spent a bit more money than he originally had planned, he couldn’t help but laugh to himself as he walked next to Izzy, the city looking absolutely beautiful in the spring sun.

“You’re so whipped” Izzy said after a time of silence, her eyebrows raised as Alec turned to look at her as they walked, their height difference vast and ridiculous.

“Oh please, have you seen him, how can I not be?” he asked somewhat seriously, moving his hand to rest over her shoulders, tugging her closer. Izzy had always had his back, she’d been one of the few people he could confide in when he was younger and struggling with his sexuality, and now, being able to talk about his feelings for Magnus so openly with her made him feel incredibly grateful.

She wrapped her arms around his torso and laughed into his chest, her shoulders shaking as they walked. “He is incredibly good looking, I’ll give you that. You should invite him over for dinner sometime, I’m sure mom would love to meet him” Izzy reasoned and Alec gulped, the idea of bringing Magnus to meet his mother slight terrifying to him.

“I can’t just bring Magnus to your place, Izzy. Dad lives there was well, remember” he muttered bitterly into her hair, the bag dangling from his other hand as they continued walking past other fancy shops on the quest to fine a restaurant that served both lunch and heaps of coffee.

“You forget, big brother, that dad spends almost all his time at the office, he is barely home one evening ever three months. It will be fine. And besides-“ she continued smugly, and despite the fact that Alec could not see her face, he could tell that she was smirking. “-from what I gather, you two seem serious. It’s common curtesy to invite your significant other home to meet your partners. Unless, of course, you’d rather bring him to the fundraiser mother’s arranged next weekend” she laughed as if it were the funniest thing in the world - which it was - she knew that Alec would never bring Magnus to one of those things, mostly because they were so boring that you always wished you were passed out drunk or simply not there in the first place.

“I’ll talk to him, see if he wants to” Alec started. “Although, mom has seen Magnus once before, actually” he admitted, remembering with slightly fondness and embarrassment how his mother had watched them sleep form the doorway.

“What?” Izzy exclaimed, moving back from her position, her face humorous as she gaped at him.

“Magnus and I had fallen asleep after the incident with dad and when she came by to check on me the morning after, she found us asleep, on the floor, next to each other” he laughed and Izzy gasped dramatically, her hand covering her mouth as she squealed.

“Oh my God, that’s so embarrassing. I’m so glad it wasn’t Simon and I” she exclaimed and put a hand to her chest, looking relieved but happy as she glanced at Alec once more, their different shaded eyes burning into the other’s with a serenity Alec suspected only a sibling’s could. “I’m happy that you found someone, Alec” she said seriously as they approached a cute, nice looking Italian restaurant, the smell alone making Alec want to eat there.

“Thanks, Izzy. You know I’m happy for you and Simon as well, it’s just that he is so annoying sometimes that I’m surprised I haven’t strangled him yet” he shuddered as they entered the restaurant, the siblings obviously having had the same idea. The place truly smelled incredible and before they knew it, they were ushered to a table by the windows and given menus, Alec visibly wincing as he sat down, blushing slightly as he remembered the reason for the discomfort.

“Oh my, Alec. Who knew you bottomed?” Izzy said forcibly proudly, Alec’s eyes widening as he slacked-jawed and irritably glared at her, unable to comprehend the absurdity of the situation, or why his sex life was suitable to discuss loud enough for the entire restaurant to hear.

“That is completely inappropriate and non of your business” he said breathily, his tone high and raspy as he looked around, ensuring that one one had overheard her ludicrous comment.

“It doesn’t have to be my business, big brother, when you make it so obvious” Alec gasped at the remark, blushing furiously as the waiter came up to them, pen and paper in hand as he took their orders, the tall man humiliated and his eyes looking anywhere but at this sister.

They sat at the restaurant for another two hours, talking, laughing and enjoying the other’s company until Simon eventually showed up, his obnoxious grin making Alec roll his eyes the second he sat down, glaring at the loud man as he chatted to Izzy, his loud voice making Alec want to hurt somebody.

“Hey, Alec” he said cheerily and looked at Alec, his face dropping slightly as he observed the tall man’s demeanour, Alec seeing with a strange feeling of delight how the happiness in his eyes vanished. “How are you doing?” he asked hesitantly, Izzy taking his hand form where she was sitting, rubbing her thumb across the back of Simon’s hand like Magnus often did to him.

“What is he doing here?” Alec asked Izzy, looking at her with an annoyed expression as he observed the pair in silence. Simon was a good guy, Alec knew that, but somehow he found it hard to be nice to the guy, Alec knowing that no one could ever be good enough for Izzy.

“Be nice, Alec’ Izzy hissed. “He’s here because I wanted him here” she said matter of factly and before Alec could say anything else, his phone chimed as he received a text form Louis Vuitton, letting him know that the scarf was ready.

“Right, the scarf is ready. I’ll go pick it up and leave you two lovebirds to it then” Alec said and grabbed his wallet, putting down some cash on the table to pay for their meal, unbelievably relieved to be getting away from the couple seated across from him. “I’ll talk to you later, Iz” he huffed out as he stood up, the chair scraping unpleasantly against the floor as he pushed it back.

“Don’t be ridiculous, we’re coming with you” Izzy said as she stood up, tugging Simon to his feet in the process. Alec let out a deep sigh as the trio left the restaurant and made their way back to the fancy shopping street, the chatter from his younger sister and Simon driving him insane. Eventually, once he had picked up the scarf and hailed a cab - with his sister and Simon trailing behind him like lost puppies - they had the audacity to accompany Alec into the cab, the tall man looking at them in bewilderment as they closed the door forcibly behind them, the three adults squeezing uncomfortably together in the back seat of the dirty car.

“We’re coming with you” Simon said seriously. “I have something I need to ask Magnu-“

“He’s off work for a reason, ask him anything about school work and you won’t last” Alec threatened, probably a bit too harshly, as he turned his head and stared out the window, longing to see Magnus.

——-

Alec let out a sigh of relief when he saw the front door to his apartment, his tired feet dragging behind him as he strode over and grabbed the key from his suit jacket pocket and uncooked the door, immediately hearing soft music playing from inside - Alec familiarly tripping over Magnus’s shoes that were scattered in the hallway as he stepped in, Izzy and Simon loud and hot on his heels. He had texted Magnus when they got into the cab that they were on their way, mostly informing him so he had a chance to get into his regular clothes before Simon came, Alec knowing how embarrassed Magnus had been the last time the younger man had come by for an unauthorised visit.

Rolling his eyes at the memory, Alec tugged off his shoes and stepped further into the apartment, faintly hearing the door close behind him as his eyes searched for Magnus, eventually spotting him where he was sat playing with Mr Chomsky on the floor. He was wearing a dark orange button up with a pair of black dress trousers, his face was bare and his hair fell naturally over his forehead as he looked up at Alec, his expression weary as he stood up quickly, putting Mr Chomsky down on the floor carefully.

“Magnus” Alec acknowledged happily, bending down to press a quick kiss to Magnus’s lips as the man approached him.

“Hello, darling" Magnus whispered and brought his hand to cup Alec’s cheek like he had come to do quite frequently as of late, the gesture making Alec feel incredibly loved. “How was your day?” he asked, Alec seeing as his gaze fixed on Simon and Izzy in the background. “The brilliant Isabelle and Mr. Lewis, lovely to see you both” Magnus said politely and let his hand drop from Alec’s face, the man’s shoulders going rigid as he nodded his head in Simon’s direction. “Everything going well with your studies, Solomon?” Magnus interrogated, his eyebrows raised slightly and Alec could see the smirk that was beginning to form on his face, the tall man coughing to cover up a laugh as he realised what Magnus was doing.

“Uh, yes, sir” Simon stuttered, his relatively short figure looking tiny in comparison to Magnus.

“Good, I don’t like failures” Magnus said a bit too sweetly, his hand briefly but intimidatingly gripping Simons shoulder as he confidently moved past him, gracefully striding into the kitchen, his back straight and his hips swaying seductively as he walked. Alec, shamelessly, couldn’t help his gaze from following the man endearingly, shaking his head in disbelief.

“Are you guys always so charming?” Simon exclaimed, his tone shocked as he stared after Magnus with wide, terrified eyed. “I thought he liked me” he muttered mostly to himself before turning towards Izzy, her face as smug as ever as she intertwine their fingers when Alec raised his eyebrows at the pair - Izzy glaring at him with her signature ‘you’re the worst but I love you’ look in her eyes.

“I’ll call you later, big bro” she said, grinning widely at him. “Good luck” she said and before Alec knew it, they had left the apartment much to his own relief. Looking around the apartment briefly, he proceeded to walk into the kitchen were Magnus was standing by the stove, his back turned to Alec as he observed something on the counter, his head tilted down slightly. Alec positioned the bag he was holding discretely by one of the cupboards before walking over to where the man was standing, slowly wrapping his arms around his chest and kissing him softly on the cheek.

“I missed you” Alec whispered, seeing the hair on Magnus’s neck stand at their close proximity.

“Alec” Magnus huffed, his tone suddenly serious and deprived of its previously humorous pitch as he spun around, his expression flat as he looked at their feet - Magnus was wearing a pair of bright yellow socks and Alec was wearing a pair of black ones the tall man noted. “Your dad came by earlier today and gave me this” he muttered almost inaudibly, handing Alec a white envelope with ‘Magnus Bane’ written on it, Alec’s brows furrowing when he saw that it had been opened.

“Are you okay? What is it?” he asked and looked down at the white envelope in his hand, his fingers reaching inside and grabbing the small piece of carefully folded paper that it contained, looking at it with disbelieving eyes and biting his lip to stop himself from saying something he would come to regret later when he realised what it was. “A 100 000 dollar cheque? Why would he give you this?” Alec exclaimed, his voice raised in frustration as he backed away from Magnus who still had his gaze glued to the floor, his thumb and his forefinger rubbing together habitually.

“He told me to cash it and leave you alone” Magnus admitted, his voice small as he carefully lifted his eyes form the floor. “He told me that he didn’t want ‘people like me’ to be near you” Magnus finished bitterly as he grimaced to himself, his hands forming air quotes around the more absurd words when his cold eyes met Alec’s.

“Are you going to do it?” Alec whispered hoarsely, swallowing thickly to try and calm the nausea that was building its way up his throat, the thought of losing Magnus suddenly making him feel sick to his stomach. “Are you going to cash the cheque, Magnus?” he demanded and stared in disbelief at the small piece of paper in his hand, his heartbeat quickening when Magnus didn’t answer. Alec felt tears begin to sting his eyes as he took a small step in the shorter man’s direction, his feet uneasy as he handed him the cheque before backing away, blinking rapidly as his heart broke. “I understand, message received loud and clear” Alec said, because he did understand - it was a lot of money to anyone, much more money that he was worth anyway.

To Alec’s surprise and slight relief however, Magnus’s head instantly snapped up at Alec’s words, his eyes glossy and dull as he looked at the taller man, his face hurt and his shoulders hunched in either defeat or exhaustion, Alec couldn’t really tell. “Is that what you think of me? That I would cash a cheque that a homophobic asshole gave me to stay away from the person that I love?” he laughed sadly, the sound dark and unhappy - Alec could see tears beginning to form in his eyes as he took a few echoing steps towards Alec. “I would never” he said firmly and touched Alec’s arm, the tall man instinctively stepping away.

“But?” Alec breathed and flinched at the silence that followed, his heart breaking more at every passing and infuriatingly quiet second.

“But-“ Magnus breathed heavily, his voice shaky and uneven. “-this makes me feel like crap, Alec. I’m scared of him, I’m scared of what he might do to you and to me. I wasn’t planing on telling you about the envelope, I was just going to throw it away but you-“ he took a deep breath and shook his head slightly. “-I’ve been thinking and you deserve to know how little he thinks of me. You deserve to know that I won’t stop you if you want to go and find someone who isn’t as out there as I am. Perhaps your dad will leave you be if you let me go” he finished, ragged breaths making their way out of his mouth as he stepped towards Alec. Alec, in turn, was having difficulty breathing, his eyes burning with unshed moisture as he tilted his head down, his hazel eyes blurring as he observed the floor - so this was what heartbreak really felt like Alec thought.

“Stop it” Alec snapped raggedly, his hand coming up to prevent the other man from continuing. “My father is the single most bigoted idiot I have ever met. If he were worthy of my time and effort he would take one look at you and realise that you are enough. You are enough because you make me happy” Alec whispered. “Nothing is wrong with you, Magnus. You’re not the problem for God’s sake. It’s him and he’s not going to change, he is doing it because he is ashamed of my sexuality and I will never let him win by giving up on you. If you want to leave, you can leave, but as long as you let me I will fight for you, okay” Alec choked out. “I will fight for you because I have never loved anyone like this before and it hurts-” he sucked in a harsh breath, his hand moving to his chest as it physically pained him to breathe. “-it hurts that you are willing to let him win by not fighting for me” Alec said and turned on his heel, walking slowly into the sitting room and positioning himself on the sofa, his head heavy in his hands as he refused to let the tears fall, the man not wanting to let his father win by making him cry again.

The day had been wonderful, absolutely stunning and he had a whole evening planned to a tee for himself and Magnus and his father and once again managed to turn everything around, destroying everything that was worth something and Alec realised tiredly that he’d had enough. Tugging at his hair, he felt with an overwhelming sadness how the other man sat down next to him and carefully pulled him into a tight hug, Magnus’s hands warm and comforting as he rubbed his back, the shorter man’s breath hot on his neck.

“I don’t think I made myself clear, my dear” Magnus whispered, the nickname making Alec’s heart swell at an alarming rate. “Of course I’ll fight for you. I’ll fight with you and for you, always” Magnus exclaimed tiredly, Alec feeling how he rested his head on the taller man’s back, his cheek warm and familiar against the fabric of his shirt. “I just wanted you to have a choice, Alexander. It must be tiring to always have to fight your own father in everything you do, and I’d do anything to make it as easy for you as possible, even if that meant me having to stay away from you, or not being able to hold your hand in public. I’ll take as much of you as you’ll let me” Magnus finished and Alec felt one single tear roll down his cheek at the words, his hand quickly rubbing it away before he sat up, his broken eyes staring intensively at the other man, realising with a pang of guilt that he looked utterly distraught.

“I’d never want to hide you. And I don’t care if you wear makeup or that you dress the way you do because Magnus-“ he said and licked his lips, taking one of Magnus’s hands in his, slowly bringing it to his mouth and pressing a soft kiss to his knuckles. “-I’ve never been more proud of anything before” Alec stuttered, his voice weak as he pressed yet another kiss to his lover’s hand, feeling it tremble ever so slightly in his hand.

“Oh Alec” Magnus whispered and brought Alec into a bone crushing hug, Alec feeling the other man’s heartbeat as it slammed against his ribs, the smell of Magnus suddenly making him lightheaded.

“Was this our first fight?” Alex whispered into Magnus’s ear, the other man nuzzling his nose in his neck before he answered, his voice soft and familiarly gentle.

“It was bound to happen at some point” Magnus stated, his rings cold against his back despite the shirt that separated them.

“And it’s all because of my father” Alec grunted in return, closing his eyes as he felt Magnus press small kisses to his ear. “Don’t ever change” Alec begged quietly.

“Same goes for you then” the man answered, his voice loud but gentle in Alec’s ear.

“I have something for you” Alec breathed and let go of Magnus, the other man looking at him strangely as he sat back, his eyes red and his face blotchy - Alec realised that he probably looked equally drained. “Wait here” he said as he stood up, momentarily closing his eyes as he wrapped his head around the sudden turn of events, swiftly marching to the kitchen to retrieve the Louis Vuitton bag that was sat where he had left it, feeling a small smile creep onto his face when he turned to walk back to the man on the sofa, Magnus looking utterly and breathtakingly gorgeous in the dim lighting. “Close your eyes” Alec said softly as he approached the sofa, his footsteps light but audible in the quiet room. He took a seat beside Magnus, slowly and carefully unwrapping the soft fabric from the silk paper inside its box, admiringly wrapping the scarf around Magnus’s neck and tying it into a sloppy bow, giggling softly as he heard the other man gasp at the contact. Alec proceeded to get the bracelet out next, slowly taking one of Magnus’s hands in his own and carefully closing the red pearl band around his delicate wrist, the colour looking absolutely impeccable against his skin. “Open” he said softly and Magnus’s eyes snapped open, the sparkling brown irises widening as he looked down, his ring covered fingers ever so gently gracing the fabric of the scarf and the texture of the bracelet in silent awe.

“Alexander, where did you get these?” he gasped breathlessly, his eyes filling with tears as he looked up at Alec. “This is way too much” he sniffed and looked down again, Alec realising in horror that the man was crying.

“Oh god, Magnus” Alec exclaimed desperately, quickly, but gently, tilting the other man’s head backwards before carefully untying the scarf form around his neck, instantly putting it down and wiping at his boyfriend’s cheeks. “You’re getting tears on the scarf, it might ruin it. I payed a lot of money for that thing” Alec exclaimed dramatically and Magnus just laughed and wiped at his face, his eyes bright and happy as Alec wrapped the scarf around his neck once more, the fabric falling wonderfully around his neck. “You look beautiful” Alec breathed and cupped Magnus’s cheek, his brows furrowing as he observed the man, his chest tightening when he realised that he couldn’t live without him.

“This is the nicest gift I’ve ever received. Thank you, Alexander” he looked down at the bracelet as he spoke, his black painted fingernails caressing the pearl shards in wonder.

“How would you feel about dinner with my mother?” Alec asked apropos of the beauty in the man that was sitting across from him, his persona someone he realised that he wanted his mother to get to know. 

“Are you sure? That sounds like a terrible idea, Alexander” he admitted hesitantly, continuously looking down at the scarf and the bracelet respectively.

“I need her to see that you - us - that we’re not going away” he said and squeezed Magnus’s shoulder, his gaze briefly looking down at the floor where he spotted the slightly crumbled cheque, a mischievous grin spreading across his face as he looked at it. “What do you say, want to go to the Maldives?” he breathed and winked at Magnus, squealing uncharacteristically loudly when the other man slapped him on the wrist, his laugh warm and homely in the evening sunlight, the sound making Alec realise that they would, in spite of his father’s attempts, be perfectly okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dinner at the Lightwood’s, what could possibly go wrong?


	12. Chapter 12

Magnus’s apartment was dimply lit and Alec could smell a scented candle burning as he entered, haphazardly taking off his shoes as he softly glanced into his boyfriend’s apartment, hearing soft music playing from his bedroom. Magnus had decided to get ready at his own place that evening, arguing that he had to look his absolute best and that he needed his entire wardrobe at a moment’s notice to achieve such perfection, and honestly, who was Alec to argue with logic like that - especially after the whole incident with his father merely a week earlier? Normally, Alec would have told Magnus that he didn’t need to worry so incredibly much about his appearance, but as they were eating at his family’s residence, he could understand Magnus’s reasoning - _meeting the parents_ was, silly as it may be, a whole ordeal in and of itself after all.

“Magnus?” Alec called when he shuffled further into his apartment, still - even after about two months of coming and going in the place - awestruck at how beautifully decorated everything was and how colourful yet gloomy everything looked. Alec smiled to himself simply because the apartment smelled so intensively of Magnus as he walked into the sitting room, glancing around when Magnus was nowhere to be found. “Where are you?” he continued when his boyfriend didn’t answer, raising his eyebrows slowly when he heard a crash coming from the bedroom, Alec swiftly waking over the familiarly identical floors and entering the messy bedroom - what greeted him nothing short of a true sight to behold.

“Alexander” Magnus exclaimed from where he was seated on the floor on top of a heap of clothes, his upper body exposed and Alec would be lying if he said that he didn’t let his eyes linger momentarily on the shorter man’s abs. “I have nothing to wear” he sighed dramatically and continued rummaging through the plentiful piles of clothing sloppily, his shoulders shaking as he muttered inaudibly to himself while carelessly tugging at the different shapes and materials lying in front of him.

“That’s ridiculous, Mags” Alec laughed and walked over to the man, squatting down to his level and pressing a kiss to his naked shoulder, his eyes warm as he smelled Magnus’s shampoo. “You could wear anything and you’d out-fashion everyone in New York, I mean look-“ Alec said as he grabbed the first thing he could find, a silk navy blue button up with flamingo-shaped buttons. “-this is perfect. Wear this” Alec opted and glanced to his left to see Magnus tilt his head endearingly, his eyebrows furrowed as he looked at what Alec had picked.

“No, it’s too-“ Magnus frowned and snatched the material from Alec’s hand, observing it closely. “-bland. Yes, it’s too bland and it simply won’t do. This is important, Alec” he muttered and tossed the shirt across the room, Alec’s fingers itching to grab it - along with everything else that was so unorganisedly scattered all over the place - and put it back where it belongs.

“Magnus” Alec shook his head and inhaled slowly, comfortingly wrapping one arm around the other man’s shoulders, his head resting on top of the shorter man’s as he sighed deeply, closing his eyes in sadness and slight frustration. “I love you, therefore they will love you, okay?” Alec whispered into his hair, feeling the other man relax against his side as if he were exhausted.

“Similarly to how your dad loves me? Because in that case, I’m uninterested” Magnus shot back from his slouched position and Alec flinched internally, the whole ordeal with his father obviously having taken a toll on Magnus and Alec hating when the insecurities it had caused surfaced.

“Magnus-”

“I’m sorry, I’m just really nervous” Magnus muttered quietly before standing up silently, grabbing a shirt at random before putting it on simultaneously, buttoning it and looking down at where Alec was still squatting on the floor. “What do you think?” Magnus asked, a sheepish smile making its way onto his face as Alec stood up and unashamedly crashed their lips together - the red satin shirt that Magnus had put on hugging his biceps in just the right places, and Alec could honestly say that he had never seen anything more spectacular in his life. Alec closed his eyes as their mouths moved together familiarly for a few moments, his hands on the small of Magnus’s back pulling him impossibly closer as Magnus wrapped his arms around the taller man’s neck only to pull back breathlessly after a while, gently resting their foreheads together.

“Breathtaking-” Alec whispered as he observed the unsure expression on Magnus’s face and pressed a kiss to the man’s cold nose. “-and beautiful-” Alec breathed and pressed another one to his right cheek. “-and stunning-” a third to his jawline. “-so lovely and much too handsome-” Alec muttered and kissed the corner of his mouth. “-and irresistible” he finished and kissed Magnus briefly on the mouth, the other man beaming at him and his eyes shining brilliantly in the dim, candle lit room.

“I love you too” Magnus whispered before taking a step back, glancing at Alec through his eyelashes, his eyes lined with light grey eyeliner and his lips the man’s natural pink. Alec felt slightly sick with himself at how much he adored the man in front of him, but couldn’t help but feel proud at the way his heart fluttered when he watched him - everything he did, everything he touched and everything the brilliant man in front of him was - , Alec silently, but irrevocably, loving Magnus with all his heart.

“I’m serious, they’ll love you” Alec said quietly but assuredly as he took another step back from the man, his posture confident as he gave the man a once over, Alec smiling broadly at how lucky he suddenly felt to bring the man standing in front of him to meet his family.

“I hope so” Magnus retorted and looked down at his feet, his legs dressed in a pair of posh looking navy blue dress trousers that reached just above his ankles, his feet neatly covered by a pair of velvet loafers that Alec could see, judging from the large letters in gold on top of his left foot at least, was Chanel. “I just don’t want to screw this up”

“You’ve got nothing to worry about, Magnus” Alec said and smiled widely at his boyfriend, the other man mimicking the gesture before clearing his throat quietly, glancing around the room nervously.

“When is the car going to be here?” he asked as he shuffled over to his vanity and sat down, Alec watching from where he was standing how Magnus elegantly adjusted his makeup, spraying his cologne effortlessly on his wrists and pressing them to the nape of his neck.

“It should be here any minute now” Alec said and walked over to Magnus, placing a hand on his shoulder as he marvelled at the couple in the vanity mirror. Alec was wearing a dark grey suit and a blue button up with white triangles covering it underneath, his hair neatly combed to the side and Magnus - Magnus who always managed to take Alec’s breath away - was, again, looking as marvellous as ever. “You ready?” he asked as he squeezed Magnus’s satin covered shoulder gently before pulling him to his feet, taking his hand and moving them towards the front door, hearing Magnus blow out the candles and tell ‘Alexa’ to turn off the music in the process.

“As ready as I’ll ever be” he heard Magnus mutter behind him as the shorter man put on a navy blue patterned blazer, grabbing his keys and his phone before ushering Alec out of his apartment. “You did tell them that I can’t eat nuts, right?” Magnus asked and Alec, smirking to himself slightly, stopped dead in his tracks, mock-shock written all over his face as he spun around to face Magnus.

“Shit, I completely forgot” he whispered in horror, watching in slight amusement as Magnus’s face turned blank, his eyes wide.

“Alexander, I don’t want to end up having to puke my guts out at your parents place because you forgot to tell them that I can’t have nuts do you have any it-“ Alec cut Magnus off with a quick kiss to his lips, his eyebrows raised and a smirk covering his face as he patted the side of Magnus’s head with the back of his hand.

“I’m joking, of course I did” he said and yelped as Magnus slapped him gently on his shoulder, laughing wholeheartedly as they walked towards the elevator, glancing behind him as he pressed the button.

“You’re literally the worst” Magnus muttered but took Alec’s hand in his nevertheless, the taller man feeling it tremble in his and squeezed in harder, bumping his shoulder to his lover’s as they entered the elevator.

They could do it, how bad could it possibly be?

 

————-

 

Alec started regretting the decision to agree to this dinner as they approached the intimidatingly large townhouse he grew up in, its large driveway bringing back unpleasant memories and the gate hovering over them in an unsettling manner as they got closer, the car having dropped them off further down the street.

“You grew up here?” Magnus asked, his voice tinged with awe as he glanced at Alec, his expression nothing but bewildered.

“Yeah” Alec said and he could feel his cheeks redden. “It looks a lot better than it is. I don’t miss it one bit” Alec continued and pulled on Magnus’s hand, walking over to the buzzer and pressing it quickly, hearing the dooming rings before his sister’s voice echoed in the quiet evening.

“Alec, Magnus. Do come in” and with that, the gate rattled open and Alec dropped Magnus’s hand and decided to bring it around his shoulders instead, hugging him tightly to his side as he felt the shorter man tremble slightly.

“Calm down” Alec whispered into the shorter man’s hair as they approached the entrance, the large wooden door almost twice as tall as Alec. “Ready?” he asked and pressed a soft kiss to Magnus’s shoulder, stepping away from him as he knocked on the door, his knuckles hurting at the sheer force it took, biting his lip in anticipation when he heard multiple footsteps approaching. “Here. We. Go” he muttered just as the door swung open, revealing Izzy, Jace, and his mother, all beaming and looking happy but a little bit tipsy.

“Alexander, Magnus. Lovely to see you” his mother said and stepped forward, bringing them both into a tight embrace. Alec could hear how Magnus sucked in a deep breath, and smelling the comforting perfume of his mother he did the same himself, plastering a big smile onto his face as his mother realised them form her bone crushing grip.

“Thank you for having us” Magnus said and handed the bottle of champagne that he had bought to her, smiling broadly and his eyeliner glittering prettily in the porch lighting. “Your home is beautiful, Mrs Lightwood” he continued and looked around, his posture professional and his hands rubbing together in the nervous manner Alec had come to adore.

“Mrs Lightwood is my mother, please call me Maryse” his mother said and looked at Magnus with an expression Alec couldn’t quite put his finger on, her eyes warm and Alec thought they looked more moist than usual. Magnus, in turn, was looking at her with an unusual expression, almost as if they were having a silent conversation that he was missing out on. Odd.

“My apologies, Maryse” Magnus said politely and moved his gaze to Izzy and Jace, raising his eyebrows as he crinkled his eyes at them. “Isabelle, looking lovely as ever” he said and wrapped his arms around her as she stepped forward, the tall man watching from the side as his boyfriend hugged her tightly, feeling slightly left out as it appeared that his sister had started loving Magnus more intensely than she loved him - although he could, of course, not really blame her.

“Jace” Alec said after a while of standing awkwardly to the side as Magnus and Izzy kept talking, Alec hearing how they complimented each other’s outfits as he gave his brother a big hug.

“What’s up man” Jace said as he stepped back, eyeing Magnus from the side and giving Alec an approving look. “He’s hot, I mean if you’re into that” Jace rushed out and looked away quickly, Alec laughing at his brother’s big mouth.

“He is, isn’t he?” Alec mumbled and looked over Jace’s shoulder into the large hallway. “Where’s Clary?” he asked a bit nervously, realising in slight horror that Simon was nowhere to be seen either. “And Simon? I thought they were going to be here too” Alec whispered as he looked at his mother who was smiling sweetly at him, nodding her head before disappearing into the house.

“Simon had some gig and Clary had to go to support him or whatever” Jace huffed out before turning on his heel and walking into the house. “Don’t stay out there, come inside” he called over his shoulder, Alec stepping over to Magnus and putting a gentle hand on his shoulder, raising his eyebrows at Izzy as she gazed inappropriately lovingly at Magnus.

“Let’s go inside then, shall we?” Alec breathed and guided Magnus inside the enormous entryway, looking around the house he once had wished to never step a foot in again, the tall man realising with a quick heartbeat that he missed it somehow, the whole vibe giving him a growing melancholy feeling in the pit of his stomach. The walls were, just as he remembered, decorated with large picture frames of old and new business partners of his father’s, the large staircase still making the front room look much larger than Alec thought was necessary and the whole house smelling of meat and vegetables making Alec’s mouth water. He looked at Magnus and smiled slightly at how beautiful he looked, his eyes busy travelling over every unfamiliar surface until they found Alec’s.

“Alec, this house is beautiful” he breathed and Alec continued guiding them towards the large dining room where Jace, Izzy and Max - much to Alec’s surprise - were already seated, looking like the perfect little angles he knew they weren’t.

“Hi Max” Alec said loudly as he entered, the smaller boy getting up from his seat and running towards him, hugging his legs before Alec picked him up and hugged him to his chest. “You’ve gotten so big” Alec said and ruffled his little brother’s hair, earning an annoyed glare from said person before setting him down, once again putting his hand on Magnus’s shoulder. “Max, this is Magnus, my boyfriend. Magnus, this is my brother Max” Alec said and smiled at Magnus, the shorter man holding his hand out for Max to shake, Max reluctantly taking it in his and looking wearily at Magnus.

“Why are you wearing makeup? I thought only girls wore makeup?” Max asked bluntly, making Alec choke on his own spit as he saw Magnus flinch momentarily, his boyfriend straightening his back and smiling hesitantly at the boy - Alec realising that the comment probably hit a bit too close to home.

“Max” Alec exclaimed “That is not how we treat our guests” Alec continued and pulled Max by the arm to the side, kneeling down in front of the boy and looking him straight in the eye. “Apologise, now” Alec demanded and watched as Max’s face scrunched in confusion.

“Why?” Max argued, his tone terse and loud as he pointed to Magnus. “Dad says it’s disgraceful for men to wear nail polish and makeup. Magnus is covered in it” Max shouted in Alec’s face, his eyes angry as if Alec had missed something of importance. Alec just gaped at him, and before he could continue and give the smaller Lightwood a piece of his mind however, his mother’s voice interrupted him, her tone cold and as threatening as ever.

“Max, go to your room” his mother hissed and pointed a perfectly manicured nail at the door, her eyebrows furrowed and her eyes dark. “This behaviour is unacceptable” and with that, Max ran quicker than Alec had every seen him run before, the tall man biting his lip as he stood up and walked over to where Magnus was still standing awkwardly, his hands rubbing together and his shoulders prominently hunched. Alec gave a sad smile and patted him on the back, watching in horror as Magnus’s lower lip trembled where it was wedged between his teeth. “I apologise for my son, that was out of line and completely inappropriate” Alec’s mother said and walked over to the pair, smiling brightly at them as she gestured to the table behind her. “I hope you like steak” she said and suddenly, as quickly as the tension had come, it disappeared, leaving the room feeling bright and as they sat down - and as Alec put his hand on Magnus’s leg under the table, squeezing his thigh gently - he could see a genuine smile spreading across his lover’s face.

“So-“ his mother began, taking a slight sip of her wine as she looked at the pair expectantly. Magnus and Alec were seated on one side of the table, and his mother, Jace and Izzy were all seated on the opposite side, making the whole situation feel a bit too much like an interrogation for Alec’s liking, the tall man raising his eyebrows at his mother in anticipation. “-Alec tells me you’re a linguistics professor?” Maryse continued and took a bite of the steak that had been neatly prepared and served by one of the poor butlers currently employed by his father, Alec following suit and glancing at Magnus.

“Yes, I am” Magnus said and took a large gulp of the wine, cutting a small pice of the meat and chewing it carefully.

“How old are you?” Jace asked from where he was siting, his elbows propped on the table and his mouth full of food. “I thought professors were supposed to be old” he continued, his brows furrowing in confusion.

“I’m 27 but I was able to start university much earlier than normal, so I guess you could say that I got a head start” Magnus laughed and blushed, Alec finding it endearing that Magnus didn’t like talking about how smart he was.

“Impressive” Maryse continued, nodding her head and looking at Magnus in awe. “Where did you study?” she asked, her voice gentle and her expression, Alec noted, revealed that she was genuinely interested.

“I studied at Oxford University in England” Magnus answered solemnly, his tone a bit quieter and Alec squeezed his leg under the table, beaming brightly in pride as he watched the expressions on his family member’s faces. That’s right, Alec thought to himself, his chest tightening in amazement.

“Oxford, isn’t that like the top university in the world?” Izzy gaped and looked at Alec, her eyebrows raised and her eyes wide. “How did you get him to date you?” she whispered making everyone at the table laugh, Magnus blushing furiously as he looked down at his lap, his lips pressed together into a thin smile.

“So you’re telling me that you managed to get into Oxford when you were, what, like sixteen?” Jace asked, his speech slightly slurred from the amount of alcohol he had been consuming.

“I was fourteen, actually, but yes, I did. And I studied general linguistics for three years, did my master’s on psycholinguistics and then my PhD on forensic and political linguistics” Magnus explained quickly, and it was obvious to Alec, although he suspected that no one else noticed it, that he disliked talking about his university experience. Alec had inquired before, many times actually, when he noticed how little Magnus talked about his past, but Magnus usually just let it slide, changing the subject cleverly or simply ending the conversation abruptly. Alec suddenly realised that it was a bit strange, not knowing much about your partner’s history, considering how intimate their relationship was.

“Why did you move to England?” Izzy wondered out loud and looked at Magnus with her big brown eyes, Alec noticing how Magnus stiffened next to him, the tall man’s head turning to look at him as he answered.

“My foster family moved there for work and I just tagged along. Granted, I managed to get into uni, so I lived there until four years ago when I moved back to New York” Magnus finished and Alec just stared him, probably not very discretely, because he had no idea that Magnus had grown up in a foster family. Alec felt a cold feeling in his chest when he realised that Magnus had decided not to tell him any of this when Alec had asked many times before about his family situation, confusion and a little bit of anger making its way into Alec’s eyes as he kept looking at Magnus.

“Why did you leave England?” Maryse asked, Alec quickly looking away from the rest of them and glaring at his food, feeling slightly betrayed by Magnus’s lack of communication and apparent trust in him.

“I-“ Magnus began but stopped himself, quickly glancing at Alec and the taller man could clearly sense the hesitation and sudden sadness in the other man’s eyes even from where he was barely looking at him. “Personal reasons” he said coldly, taking a large gulp of his wine and looking down at his plate. The cold feeling in Alec’s chest grew more intense and Alec felt strangely hurt - Magnus had told him that he left England because he got offered a position at their current university but, apparently, that hadn’t been the case either - Alec taking his wineglass and chucking the dark red liquid down his throat as swiftly as he could, gesturing with his hand to the poor butler to pour him some more. Surely, Magnus hadn’t been lying to him?

“Wait, so if you lived there for like 10 years, why don’t you speak British?” Jace asked, and Alec couldn’t help but roll his eyes at how dumb his brother sounded.

“British?” Magnus asked, his eyebrows raised towards his hairline as the light returned to his eyes, his eyes crinkling when he laughed at Jace’s comment. “You mean why I don’t have an English accent?” Magnus said in an unusual tone, Alec realising that the words were being formed through a perfectly crafted English accent, the tall man proceeding to choke clumsily on the wine he was downing as he wide eyed stared at Magnus, suddenly feeling much too turned on than was appropriate at a family dinner. “I think it’s more suitable to sound like your surroundings, this accent is rather marked in this country, wouldn’t you say so, Alexander?” Magnus pressed on in that posh, perfect, Harry Potter-like accent, Alec desperately trying to recovered from almost choking to death, clearing his throat awkwardly and feeling the room get much too hot as he brought the back of his hand to wipe some sweat off his forehead.

“Yeah” Alec breathed and looked down at his plate when he felt Izzy staring at him, her energy mischievous but Alec couldn’t really care less, still pondering why Magnus didn’t feel comfortable enough with him to tell him the truth about his past - Alec suddenly feeling like the worst boyfriend in the world as he watched Magnus smile at his family, wondering with a sad feeling what he was thinking.

“Enough about me” Magnus said - his accent back to its usual general American prosody that Alec could cope with - his voice heavy but polite. “What do you do, Jace?” Magnus asked, cutting a pice of the potatoes on his plate and bringing it to his mouth. Alec just watched him with unsure eyes, shamelessly and probably quite obviously as well, observing him intensively, wanting nothing more than to go home and sleep.

 

———

 

Three hours and about a whole bottle of wine later, Alec and Magnus stumbled - well Alec stumbled and Magnus held him - down the driveway and towards the car that was waiting for them outside the gate. As the evening progressed, Alec had realised that drinking made him less stressed, and that the more he drank the less he thought about Magnus and his past which was why he currently couldn’t hold himself upright - much to his own embarrassment.

“Alec, you have to help me out, okay?” Magnus muttered as he desperately tried to keep Alec from falling over, the shorter man insanely strong, but carrying Alec - his drunk dead weight much too heavy for Magnus to carry by himself - proving to be too much for his smaller stature to handle. “You’re going to end up on the ground otherwise, my love” Magnus whispered into Alec’s hair, the tall man spotting the car with blurry eyes, clinging onto Magnus for dear life.

They eventually made it to the car, Magnus strapping Alec in and telling the driver where to take them, Alec just watching him - his wonderful boyfriend being his usual kind gentle self - with a bitter taste in his mouth.

“Why did you lie to me?” Alec irrationally blurted out, his words slurred together as he glanced out the window and away from Magnus.

“What are you talking about, Alexander?” Magnus said, his tone high and defensive. Alec turned his head to face Magnus, his brows furrowed and before he could open his mouth to speak, he knew that his voice was going to come off much too harshly for his own liking.

“You told me that you left England because they offered you a job here” Alec hissed, the wine making him unreasonable and silly - even in his drunken state Alec knew he would regret this in the morning. “But you told my mom that you left because of personal reasons, what personal reasons?” Alec continued, voice loud and he could see Magnus eyeing the driver in embarrassment, closing his eyes before biting his bottom lip tentatively.

“That is not a conversation I want to have with you when you’re in this state” Magnus said and leaned his head back against the seat, Alec watching as he closed his eyes and brought his fingers to pinch the bridge of his nose as if he had a headache.

“I think this is the perfect time” Alec pressed and Magnus just shook his head, glancing out the rain stained window.

“No, Alexander” Magnus said firmly, Alec furrowing his brows at the finality in Magnus’s tone.

“Did you sleep with someone? Knock someone up? Get banned form England? Kill someone? Make someone hate you? Break someone’s heart?” Alec demanded, his voice loud and slurred and even his in state of intoxication, Alec could see Magnus’s eyes fill with moisture at the accusations.

“Enough” Magnus snapped, his voice low and rough and his hands clenched into white fists, his lips pressed together into a thin line. “Please, Alexander” he begged quietly.

“I’ve told you everything about me. I let you meet my family, and you couldn’t even bother telling me that you don’t have one. Did you lie about your mother dying, was that even her urn that fell on the floor that one time?” Alec shot back at him, watching as Magnus’s eyes turned black, his eyes colder than Alec had ever seen them before and before he knew what was happening, the car had stopped and they were outside their apartment building. Magnus just stared at Alec before yanking the door open and slamming it in Alec’s face, the taller man quickly getting out of the car to follow him - well as quickly as his drunken state would allow him - rushing inside the building and after Magnus who was jogging gracefully and hastily up the stairs.

“Magnus” he called, holding onto the handrail as he ran up the stairs, the floor swaying dangerously beneath his feet, eventually getting to the second floor and rushing over to where Magnus was looking for his keys, his back hunched and his face turned away from Alec. “Magnus” Alec said and touched the other man’s arm, Magnus stepping away from his touch and unlocking his apartment in the process.

“Sleep at your place tonight, Alec” Magnus said coldly, his voice thick with emotion as he made it into his apartment, only at the last second turning around and looking at Alec with hollow eyes. “You don’t know a thing about me so you had no right to say those things to me” Magnus whispered tiredly, his eyes heartbroken as he looked at Alec, the tall man just staring back at him with drunken, unforgiving eyes.

“Yeah well, who’s fault is that?” Alec spat angrily, digging into his pocket to retrieve his own keys and barely registering as Magnus took a step towards him and slapped him across the cheek.

“Fuck you” Magnus whispered brokenly, his voice thick with tears as he slammed the door in Alec’s face, leaving him alone and drunk in the dim hallway. Alec’s chest was heaving with sadness and anger as he opened his door and literally stumbled to the ground as he tripped over a pair of Magnus’s gorgeous boots - Alec feeling his chest tighten as he replayed the last ten minutes in his slightly more sober mind - his eyes watering as he felt the sting on his cheek from where Magnus’s ring clad fingers had collided with his cheekbone.

_What the hell had he done?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some sensitive topics are brought up by the characters in this chapter - topics concerning fatal illnesses and severe depression - so please keep that in mind and do not read this chapter if that will affect you negatively in any way.

Alec was abruptly awoken by someone banging loudly on his front door, a consistent hammering that made his hungover body throb as he sat up slowly, rubbing at his eyes with shaky hands and swallowing the horrible nausea that was building up in his stomach. Looking down at himself, he was still dressed in the clothes from last night and as he glanced to the bedside clock that as flashing red in the dark room, he groaned out loud when it read 4.47 A.M. Alec, rather ungracefully, shuffled off the bed and walked ridiculously slowly towards the loud knocking that was continuously killing his head, his eyes closing as he opened the door to tell whoever it was to leave him alone in his misery.

“Go away” Alec rasped out, his eyes still closed as he held onto the doorframe to keep himself upright, the effects from the vast amount of alcohol he had consumed the night before still affecting him slightly.

“Move” a familiar voice demanded and as Alec opened his eyes he saw Magnus standing there, his eyes bloodshot, hair tussled and a large box in his hands filed with things, his entire demeanour nothing short of messy heartbreak. “Let me in” Magnus breathed and Alec did what he was told and stepped to the side hastily, the tiredness completely gone as he watched his boyfriend - or at least he hoped he could still call him that after his disgusting behaviour last night - storm into his apartment, the man still dressed in the clothes he had worn yesterday at dinner as well.

“Magnus I-“ Alec began, his voice no louder than a quiet whisper as he felt the guilt eating away at him, observing the man in front of him with a lump in his throat and taking a few steps into his apartment to lean against the sitting room wall in order to stay upright.

“You wanted to know about my past, yes?” Magnus breathed angrily and turned to face Alec, the shorter man walking over to where Alec was leaning against the wall and handing him the heavy box he had been carrying with him. “Here you go, all the different momenta from my tragic life. Go through them and tell me why you think I kept some of it from you” Magnus hissed and looked at Alec with dark, sad eyes. “Go on” he opted and when Alec didn’t do anything, Magnus reached into the box himself and started rummaging through the different papers and pictures Alec could observe from where he was standing, Magnus’s trembling hands making the entire box shake in Alec’s grip. Alec looked at Magnus more closely as he kept searching for something in the box, the man smelling of the perfume from last night and his shoulders hunched - God, why does he still looks so beautiful, Alec mused to himself, the pain in his head radiating throughout his skull as he squinted at the other man.

“This-” Magnus growled and looked into Alec’s eyes, the tall man furrowing his brows when he saw Magnus’s eyes fill with fresh tears as he held a picture in front of Alec’s face that showed a baby and a young woman. “-this is my mother and I, she supposedly started doing drugs around the time this photo was taken. She couldn’t deal with being a young mother” he spat, tossing the photograph sloppily over his shoulder, Alec watching as the old picture landed on his floor and wincing at the sudden pain that shot through his heart. “This-” Magnus continued and dug up a bundle of papers “-is my file from social services, my time in foster care is neatly displayed there for you to look at” he rasped out, his hands trembling as he kept going. “This-” he muttered and Alec could hear his breath hitch in his throat. “-is a picture of my first love, the one I was set to marry and share my life with” he hiccuped and Alec noticed that his breathing became uneven as the picture shook in his hands. The photograph showed a man, probably in his early twenties, in a nice looking suit, smiling sweetly at the camera. “He died of cancer and this-“ Magnus whispered brokenly as he dug out what Alec thought looked like a hospital bracelet “-this is the wristband from when I was put into a mental institution from trying to kill my self by jumping off a bridge on the night of his death” Magnus gasped and Alec watched helplessly how fresh tears started streaming down his face, the tall man suddenly feeling the urge to bring the trembling man into his arms but abruptly deciding against it. Instead, Alec lowered his eyes to the box in his hands, feeling his eyes sting as Magnus breathed heavily and unsteadily right in his face.

“Magnus stop I’m so-“

“These-” Managua pressed on, completely ignoring Alec, gasping as the tears flowed more steadily down his makeup stained face. “-these are the adoption papers my foster family was about to sign before my foster parents figured out that I was into both guys and girls and this-“ Magnus whispered brokenly, holding up single piece of the broken urn that Alec had tried, and miserably failed, to put back together after it had fallen down back when they first had met. “-is a shard from my birth mother’s urn. Who is dead. Who died of an overdose and if you still think I’m lying you can DNA test it if you wish” he choked out. “And this-” Magnus huffed out despite his ragged breathing. “-is the tie I wore to her funeral” he said, holding up a black shiny tie and twisting it around his wrist, the fabric dangling carelessly down his arm. “The priest and I were the only two people who even bothered showing up“ he finished and looked down at their feet, his breathing shallow and his shoulders shaking from the sobs that Alec could see him trying to contain.

Alec twitched his nose and felt a single tear roll down his own face, his heart breaking as he heard Magnus sniffle in front of him. The room was still dark, despite the early morning and as Magnus’s inhales got louder an his exhales more desperate, Alec took a step forwards and put the heavy box down carefully on the ground beside them before taking Magnus into his arms, unable to figure out what else to do.

“God, I’m so sorry Magnus. I can’t believe I said those things to you, I didn’t know” Alec whispered as he held onto Magnus for dear life, the other man struggling against his hold but eventually letting his chin fall tiredly to his collar bone, his shoulders shaking as Alec hugged him tighter. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry” Alec breathed, the tall man closing his eyes and breathing Magnus in, his scent, even in moments like these, calming him down significantly.

“That’s precisely my point, Alexander. You didn’t know and yet you kept pushing even when I literally begged you to stop” Magnus huffed out, his voice low and strained and his hot breath making the tall man shiver as it caressed his neck. “I should have told you about all this, I know and I’m sorry. I just couldn’t fathom the idea that you might not want to stick around after you knew. God knows it wouldn’t be the first time” Magnus said in a muffled, low whisper.

“What are you talking about?” Alec asked in a breathy voice, his tone soft and uneven as he moved his hand to the other man’s head, massaging his hair in what he hoped would come across as a comforting manner as he held him. “Don’t you dare apologise. What I said, the things I told you, are unacceptable and complete out of line” Alec said firmly, moving back slightly to look at Magnus’s face, the other man looking down and avoiding Alec’s eyes as he stepped away. “You hear me, you don’t get to apologise because you did nothing wrong, I was, probably still am, drunk and stupid and I’m sorry” Alec continued desperately. “And for the people who didn’t stick around, screw them” Alec breathed and felt his throat tighten, swallowing loudly at the sick feeling that arose yet again in his stomach - why had the universes been so cruel to Magnus?

“I slapped you” Magnus said quietly and suddenly, his eyes slowly lifting from the ground to look at Alec, his irises dark and glimmering in the almost pitch back sitting room.

“I deserved it” Alec said and watched Magnus take a step towards him and bring his hand to cup Alec’s bruised cheek that still hurt from where the rings had collided.

“No one deserves to be hit” Magnus said and Alec watched as his brows furrowed, his lips forming a thin line as he laughed bitterly, his watery tone making Alec bite his lip to stop himself from crying. “I’m sorry I barged in here, I should go” Magnus rasped out and took a small step away from Alec, looking around the familiar room tiredly before bringing his eyes back to focus on Alec, his vision desperate and vulnerable. He doesn’t want to be alone, Alec realised painfully, his eyebrows furrowing when Magnus made a move to pick up the box.

“You can stay if you want company” Alec tried and touched Magnus’s shoulder gently, raising his eyebrows at him and glancing out the windows of his apartment, the curtains wide open and the morning light only just beginning to shine into the sitting room. “You can sleep here and we can have breakfast in the morning and we can talk when we’re both less tired, and when I’m properly sober” Alec said, his voice lighter than before, his eyes lighting up when he heard a quiet chuckle escape Magnus’s lungs, Alec realising that the man, most assuredly, had been up all night to collect all that stuff to show Alec.

The taller man felt his heart flutter at the hyperbolic over-exaggeration of it all, a display like that - however heartbrokenly painful - was an incredibly Magnus thing to do, and as Magnus straightened is back and looked at Alec, the tall man wrapped his arms around him once more, swaying them softly to an inaudible beat before feeling his vision start to blur slightly, realising that he needed sleep or he’d fall over.

“Okay” Magnus whispered into his neck and Alec could feel his arms tighten around his waist. “Thank you” Magnus continued, his voice tired and vulnerable as Alec pressed a kiss to his temple.

“You’re always welcome here, although I think I should be the one to thank you for not running away after the things I said” Alec muttered into his hair, stepping back in order to look at the other man and smiling lopsidedly as the corner of Magnus’s mouth twitched upwards.

“I did run away” Magnus mumbled into the dark room, his voice lighter than before.

“But you came back” Alec whispered and took Magnus’s hand in his, bringing his knuckles to his mouth and kissing them gently. The two men proceeded to walk into Alec’s bedroom clumsily but together, neither of them bothering to change out of their clothes as they fell onto the bed, a few centimetres separating them as they lay on their backs, both men staring at the ceiling in silence. Alec felt his eyes flutter shut when Magnus suddenly shuffled closer to him, his tussled but soft hair pressing into Alec’s neck comfortingly and his strong, shirt clad arms wrapping around Alec’s middle.

“Magnus” Alec yawned into the dark room, his eyes blinking open to look at the man who was clutching at his chest. “I get why you didn’t tell me these things but listen-” he continued and brushed his fingers over Magnus’s cheek gently, feeling how the other man nuzzled into his touch. “It seems the fact that I don’t think I can live without gets overlooked by your brilliant brilliant mind sometimes. Your past, the people you’ve loved or the things you’ve done, won’t change that” he breathed, closing his eyes as Magnus’s hand wrapped around his wrist, his ring clad fingers caressing his soft wrists slowly.

‘I don’t think I can live without you either and it scares me, Alec” Magus answered. “I’ve loved and lost before and it’s much too painful. I know that I come across as confident but the way I feel for you honestly terrifies me” Magus confessed tiredly, his voice significantly slurred and Alec could tell that he was seconds away from falling asleep.

“Let’s get some rest, we’ll talk more in the morning” Alec said and closed his eyes again, almost unconsciously pulling a blanket that was sloppily tossed on the bed over the two of them, his breathing evening out just as he heard a quiet sniffle echoing throughout the room. “You okay?” Alec whispered and pressed a kiss to Magnus’s hair. The shorter man just shrugged his shoulders sloppily, his uneven breathing speaking louder than his body language and Alec automatically, but blindly, reached towards his bedside table, trying to grab his phone and the headphones that were attached to it.

Eventually, as Alec finally reached it with slight difficulty and unlocked it with his right thumb, he quickly proceeded to open Spotify, manoeuvring through the app to find his _Happier times_ playlist and pressing shuffle, carefully putting one end of the earphones into his own ear and the other into Magnus’s. Alec felt the other man’s shoulders shake as the music played into their eardrums, the lyrics to _Ba Ba Ba_  by Miss Li slowly lulling them both to sleep in the ridiculously early hours of the morning.

_Come here, please forgive me now_   
_Don't know if I dare to try_   
_Come here, let me turn you by_   
_Don't wanna cry again_   
_Come on, let me kiss you now_   
_Don't know if I dare to fly_   
_Come on, let me turn you by_   
_Don't wanna cry_

_Ba ba ba ba ba ba..._

_Let's stop breaking each other's heart_   
_We both want a brand new start_   
_Let’s forget about the past_   
_We both know our love will last_

_Come on!_   
_Ba ba ba ba ba ba..._

 

———-

 

Alec woke up to the sound of his phone buzzing where it was clutched in his right hand, the soft music still playing through the earphone that was positioned in his left ear from when he had fallen asleep. Alec automatically glanced down at Magnus who was lying next to him, his shirt clad arms wrapped around himself and his face nuzzled into Alec’s arm - Alec suddenly had trouble breathing as he looked at the makeup that had been smudged and the hair that was falling down over his forehead.

Groaning silently, Alec looked at him for a few moments, taking in his presence before squinting at the light that was pouring in through the open blinds and lifting his phone towards his face. He unlocked it habitually and saw the reason for the buzzing, a long and overprotective text from his mother, Alec frowning momentarily when the digital clock at the top of the screen read 2.36 PM, much too late for his liking.

- _Good afternoon, Alexander! Izzy has tried calling you but you’re not answering your phone. Please get back to me when you see this so I know you got home safely last night. You were in quite the state when you and poor Magnus left, I hope you are okay! Love, Mom._

Alec sighed heavily and closed his eyes momentarily, remembering with a sudden pang to his chest everything that had happened last night and earlier that morning, his eyes watering as he remembered Magnus’s face when he had, however forcibly, showed Alec the things in his box. Alec swallowed loudly and looked at Magnus - his face, his hair, his body and lips looking uncharacteristically messy - before slowly moving to the side, sliding off the bed without waking Magnus and repositioning the blanket carefully on top of the sleeping man. Alec cracked his back loudly before shuffling out of the room, through his much too messy sitting room and over to his balcony, inaudibly but effortlessly opening the french doors before stepping outside, the warm air comforting on his skin.

As the reality of the day hit Alec, to his own horror, he suddenly felt unable to breathe, his chest heaving painfully as he tried to inhale and exhale. Alec was at loss with himself and the situation, the fact that he had hurt Magnus so badly stung but what made it even worse was the fact that Alec still felt like he had the right to know, and he - truthfully - still felt hurt that Magnus had lied, or neglected to tell him the truth, however one wanted to put it. At a complete loss at what to do, Alec reached for his phone, which he had managed to put in his pocket in the process of leaving the bedroom, and dialled the only number he could think of, breathing unevenly into the phone as it started ringing, a single tear running down his face when someone eventually answered on the other end of the line.

“Alec, Izzy told me to answer because she’s doing her makeup. What’s up?” Simon’s chipper voice boomed through the line and Alec sucked in a sharp breath, his breathing ragged and uneven as the the tears involuntarily started falling more consistently, the drops of water stinging his skin in the afternoon sun. “You okay, man?” Simon asked, his tone suddenly serious and Alec heard walking on the other end and muffled voicing conversing away from the phone, some rustling and before he knew it, his sister’s voice spoke gently to him through the phone.

“Alec” Izzy said hesitantly into the phone. “Are you alright?”

“Izzy” he gasped and put a hand over his eyes, pinching at the bridge of his nose to try and stop the tears from falling. “I messed up” he cried silently despite his best efforts, unable to care how he was coming across, hearing his sister move around on the other end and a door closing quietly. “God I messed up so bad” Alec whispered brokenly into the phone, leaning forward to rest his forehead against the cool railing of his balcony, his back hunched and his hands trembling as he gazed down at his feet.

“What happened?” she wondered, her voice soft and forgiving as Alec heard her take a seat somewhere, the rustling somewhat comforting to his years - nicely distracting.

“The things I said to him” Alec muttered raggedly, his chest suddenly swelling with guilt as he re-remembered the look on Magnus’s face. “The way he looked at me, God, he looked so broken” Alec gasped and straightened his back slightly, leaning his elbows on the railing and gazing down at the city that moved so effortlessly below him, at all the people rushing around happily in the Sunday sunlight.

“What did you say?” Alec heard her say, her voice serious and edgy, Alec realising that she would kill him when he told her. Maybe she should, Alec thought bitterly as he continued glaring at the people walking the busy streets.

“At the dinner party, when you and mom asked about Magnus‘s past and England, the things he said were not what he had told me. I was drunk and angry and I said some really awful things to him on the way home an-“ he was cut off as a loud gasp escaped his lips, his body probably realising that he hadn’t inhaled in too long. “-I asked if his mother was really dead or if he was lying about that too” Alec whispered, his voice nothing more than an almost inaudible whisper but judging by the sharp inhale form the other end of the line, Alec gathered that she’d heard him loud and clear.

“Where is he now?” she asked, her voice suddenly much colder than before, Alec feeling the sun shine on his back as he straightened up, turning his back against the metal railing and looking into the still quiet and depressingly gloomy apartment.

“He’s in my bed” Alec sighed and ran a hand across his face, feeling the wetness dampen the hem of his shirt.

“Why the hell are you telling me all this then, go tell him” she hissed at him, the sympathy he was hoping to get from her long gone and her voice terse. “Alec, go talk to him, okay. Just remember, not everyone trusts as easily as you do, let him take his time” she whispered softly into the phone, her tone calming despite the slight edge to it.

“He hates me, Iz” Alec mumbled and glanced around his balcony. Even the flowers looked rather miserable, Alec mused as he looked at the dead cacti staring back at him. “Tell mother I’m well. She asked me to call her but I ca-“ he was cut off by an unexpected sob escaping his throat, his trembling hand coming up and covering over his mouth to stop the sound from getting to his sister, his eyes fluttering shut momentarily.

“I doubt he hates you, Alec. But I will tell mom. I love you, Alec. Go fix things with Magnus” she said solemnly, her tone much softer than before and Alec could hear her leaving a room and entering another, the sound of a door closing and the sound of Simon’s chipper tone filling his ears.

“I love you, too” Alec breathed and hung up, his eyes darting around unevenly. Alec wasn’t sure why he had called her, he knew she wouldn’t take his side - although he knew there weren’t really any sides - but he was glad he did, it felt good to voice his thoughts out loud and cry to someone that wasn’t Magnus.

After a while of pitiful and pathetic self loathing, Alec eventually made it into his apartment and walked, as quietly as he could, over to his bedroom and poked his head inside. Magnus was still snoring quietly on the bed, his arms still hugging his torso and his hair still messily sprawled over his forehead. “God, he deserves the world” Alec muttered to himself as he watched his lover lying there all by himself.

After a while, Alec turned on his heel and decided to make them some breakfast, well, he decided to make them coffee - coffee was their thing after all - and before he could assemble a decent looking tray of assortments concerning coffee, he heard soft footsteps shuffle their way closer to him, Alec staring much too intensely at what his hands were doing, too nervous to look at the other man. When, for a while, nothing happened - nobody said anything and no sound of moving could be heard - Alec swallowed audibly and turned around, leaving the tray on the counter behind him. What greeted him was a blow to the stomach - Magnus was standing there but he looked too small, his shoulders were hunched, his gaze was uneven and his demeanour was so unlike Magnus that it scared Alec.

“I’ll tell you now, if you want. About my past” Magnus whispered, looking down to the floor as he rubbed his hands down his arms.

“No” Alec said quickly and pushed the tray further onto the countertop, walking over to the other man and stopping mere centimetres away from him, remembering what Izzy had said about trust. “No, not now. Tell me when you want to tell me” Alec said simply, putting a hand to Magnus’s shoulder, the other man looking up at him at the contact. His eyes were glossy and bloodshot - from lack of sleep and tears Alec presumed - and without thinking, Alec took a hesitant step forward and brought his arms lightly around the other man into a short but meaningful hug, the taller man feeling Magnus tightening his arms around him familiarly.

“Thank you” Magnus whispered after a while, moving back to once again fix his gaze on the floor. “I would love to tell you but,-“ he cut himself off, clearing his throat and coughing quietly into his hand. “-it’s not that simple” he eventually muttered, eyeing Alec through his long eyelashes.

“I know” Alec whispered in return, taking a small step back and observing Magnus with unsure eyes. “I hope you can forgive me” Alec said quietly, his bottom lip wedged between his teeth as he shook his head and turned around to retrieve the tray on which the coffee, coffee mugs, and milk were positioned neatly. “For what I said. I hope you know that I didn’t mean it’ Alec muttered and eyed the tray much too intensely.

“What you felt was valid. And you were drunk, I understand” Magnus said and Alec gave a half smile because of course Magnus knew where he was coming from, Magnus always seemed to understand him better than anyone else ever had.

“Still, it wasn’t right” Alec concluded and tucked a strand of Magnus’s black hair back behind his ear, caressing Magnus’s temple with his cold fingers in the process while balancing the tray in his other hand.

“I know” Magnus breathed quietly. “But I did some things I’m not proud of either” he said and moved to cup Alec’s cheek, examining the bruise that had formed with weary eyes. “And I wasn’t even drunk, just tipsy” his voice cracked and he let his hand fall down before walking away into the sitting room, taking a seat on the sofa and looking up at Alec as he trailed after him in desperation, balancing the coffee tray in one hand, the milk splashing over the edge of the porcelain miniature jug as he walked.

“How are you?” Alec asked as he sat down next to Magnus, their shoulders almost brushing as he handed the shorter man a cup of steaming hot coffee.

“I’ve been better, you?” Magnus mumbled and Alec watched as he blew at the mug in an attempt to cool down the coffee before taking a small sip, closing his eyes in what Alec could only assume was exhaustion.

“I’ve been better” Alec admitted and closed his eyes as well, letting his head fall to the back of the sofa, a distant reminder of the headache from when Magnus had come over that morning still bothering him slightly. “I love you” Alec whispered and sucked in a sharp breath, chewing the inside of his cheek as the coffee mug burnt his hand uncomfortably where he was clutching it for dear life.

“I love you too, Alexander” Magnus answered, the two men sitting close but not joint together on the sofa while drinking their afternoon coffee, the silence surrounding them loud and strained. Alec thought it was partly his own fault - Alec had always had issues with letting things go - and despite his apology earlier, he could still taste the bitterness in his mouth from last night.

After a while, however, as Alec thought he was about to fall asleep again, he felt the familiar ring clad fingers intertwine with his, the coolness of the material bringing a small smile to his face as his eyes fluttered shut once again.

 

———

 

They had, apparently, fallen asleep again as Alec was awoken by the sound of a loud doorbell. Groaning, Alec opened his eyes slowly only to realise that the sound wasn’t coming from his own apartment, but that the continuous ringing appeared to be sounding from Magnus’s, the constant noise making Alec sit up abruptly. People really ought to stop waking him up when he was asleep.

“For goodness sake” he muttered and turned to where Magnus was sleeping soundly, his head resting against the back of the sofa and his mouth hanging open adorably, soft huffs of breath escaping his mouth as he slept. “Magnus” Alec said loudly and shook his shoulder gently. The man, who’s head rolled down with a slight crack as Alec shook his shoulder, shot up quickly, his eyes wide and his hair crazy.

“What?” he asked groggily, his face patchy and his makeup incredibly messy and disturbingly uncharacteristic of Magnus. “Someone appears to be at your door” Magnus stated, yawning as he furrowed his brows and looked towards the ceiling, obviously realising that the ringing was, in fact, not really originating from Alec’s own doorbell.

“Actually, I think someone’s at your door and it sounds—urgent” Alec contorted and stood up slowly, reaching a hand down to help Magnus up to his feet, both of them looking at each other with tired and exhausted eyes.

Although they both made it over to Alec’s front door - however slowly - Alec was walking a bit further ahead than Magnus, and as Alec opened the door to check who was consistently abusing the doorbell, his eyes landed on two men dressed in nice green and navy suit jackets and chinos respectively, who’s dark haired heads snapped almost comically in sync to where Alec’s door had opened. Alec stared at them and was about to ask if they needed anything when Magnus came up behind him, his hand gripping his shoulder as he passed.

“Who dares ring my doorbell at this ungodly hour” Magnus muttered with his eyes downcast, his eyes only slowly glancing upwards when he appeared to recognise something on the floor, Magnus’s face turning into an expression of pure joy in the split of a mere second as his eyes landed on the two men. “Ragnor? Raphael?” he exclaimed breathlessly and gaped at them in silence and what Alec presumed might be confusion, the tall man noticing in awe how Magnus’s tense shoulders relaxed almost instantaneously.

“Don’t tell me you forgot we were coming, my dear friend?” the tall man in the luscious green suit jacket asked in a British accent similar to the one Magnus had displayed the night before, quirking his eyebrows jokingly in Magnus’s direction and Alec could only watch as Magnus marched over to him and flung himself at the man, his muscular arms gripping him so tightly it looked like it might hurt the other man. The British man just closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around Magnus in return however, nuzzling his nose in the crook of his neck and whispering something into his ear so quietly that Alec couldn’t make out what he was saying from where he was standing.

“ _Dios mío_ ” the man in the navy suit jacket muttered as he looked over at Alec, his eyebrows raised and his lips formed into a sly smirk. “You two look like literal crap” he said and Alec stared at him slack-jawed, his eyes taking in his cocky demeanour and his perfectly styled hair, confusion making its way onto Alec’s face as he observed the scene before him in silence, his eyes wide and his eyebrows furrowed.

“Shut up, Raphael” the British man, Ragnor Alec thus presumed, hissed, glaring at the slightly shorter man whilst still holding onto Magnus with all he had. Alec watched from where he was still clutching the door handle how Raphael rolled his eyes but smiled sweetly at Ragnor before moving towards them and wrapping his arms around the two men, rubbing Magnus’s back comfortingly and gently as he muttered something, in a language Alec recognised as Spanish, quietly into Magnus’s hair.

Alec wasn’t sure what was happening but as he watched the men before him in bewilderment, something in his gut told him that he was, unexceptionably and inevitably, going to get a glimpse into Magnus’s past sooner rather than later, irregardless of whether Magnus liked it or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ba Ba Ba by Miss Li.


	14. Chapter 14

After the somewhat awkward encounter in the hallway with Ragnor and Raphael, Alec disappeared, one might even describe it as fled, into his apartment again, deciding to leave Magnus and his old friends to it as they seemed rather overjoyed to see each other. Alec, who blamed his tendency to stress clean, started spring cleaning his apartment ritually instead, scrubbing every surface with antibacterial wipes and positioning everything in their calculated positions. Eventually, after an hour of his completely normal and non-obsessive cleaning, Magnus retuned briefly, the beautiful man clad in an elegant black attire along with perfectly fixed hair and extra glittery makeup.

“Whoa, you look hot” Alec blurted out and closed his eyes before kicked himself mentally, his rubber glove covered hands covering his face as he blushed at the hormonal comment.

“Thank you, Alexander” Magnus purred and walked over to him, touching his cheek with one hand, Alec watching in embarrassment as his eyes travelled to the yellow rubber gloves, Magnus’s eyebrows raised as he nodded in their direction. “Are you stress cleaning again?” Magnus asked, his gaze soft and his eyes crinkling in the dim lighting from the evening sun and the few candles Alec had lit in order to make his place smell like fresh cotton.

“No, um, I’m just tidying” Alec stuttered out and suddenly found it hard to breathe, Magnus’s presence so intoxicating that Alec had to shake his head in order to remember how to speak. “Are you going out?” Alec asked and smiled at Magnus, extremely pleased to see him happy again - truthfully it had been awful to see him crying so frequently lately and it was undoubtedly refreshing that the man radiated light once again.

“Yeah, Ragnor, Raphael and I are going clubbing” Magnus commenced, glancing at Alec through his lashes. “I was going to ask if you wanted to come” Magnus said happily, his eyes hopeful but Alec did not fail to notice that he looked noticeably impatient.

“You go, I’ll stay here and continue cleaning” Alec said, definitely not in the mood to consume more alcohol after how he’d acted the last time. “You go and have fun. Just to make sure, you do realise tomorrow’s Monday, right?” Alec inquired and squinted his eyes at Magnus, watching as the other man did the same before closing them momentary, clearly just realising that yes, tomorrow was in fact and unfortunately, Monday.

“Right, well, I will only have a few drinks and I’ll be home soon” Magnus muttered and stepped forward to give Alec a big hug, his strong arms wrapping momentarily around Alec’s shoulders. “I’ll see you soon, I love you” Magnus said and turned on his heel, Alec watching after him as he walked towards the door, his backside looking picture perfect as his hips swayed gracefully.

Disappointingly and much to Alec’s own horror, Magnus’s prediction of having only a few drinks had turned out to be the biggest understatement of the century as, sometime during the night, Alec was awoken by the rustling of keys and someone stumbling into his apartment clumsily, low, familiar giggles echoing through his hallway making Alec groan loudly into the pillow that he was clutching. Alec rubbed at his eyes before sitting up in his bed, slowly lifting the covers off his pyjama clad body before shuffling out of his bedroom and into the hallway tiredly.

There, heavily intoxicated and beautiful as ever was Magnus, his uncoordinated body leaning heavily against the wall as he appeared to be trying to take off his shoes but failing miserably and adorably. Alec sighed and started making his way towards him, his bare feet clearly audible on the hardwood floors but Magnus did not appear to notice him, the drunk man stumbling backwards and into a wall as Alec’s hand touched his shoulder.

“You scared me, Alexander” Magnus slurred, giggling with his head tilted to the side and his eyes shining beautifully. “Ragnor and Raphael are currently sleeping in my bed” he said as if he, even in this state, needed to justify why he came barging into Alec’s apartment so late at night, despite the fact that Alec had given him a key earlier for moments exactly like this one. “Probably with each other” Magnus mused and touched his fingers to his chin, looking adorable as he scrunched his nose in confusion. “I should have told them not to do that. That bedding was expensive” he whined and Alec moved forward and gently grabbed the other man’s shoulders, carefully steering him towards a random stool that was positioned by his coat rack and sat him down, sighing heavily as he kneeled in front of Magnus and started untying his shoelaces lazily.

“Did you have fun?” Alec asked in a low voice, his tone noticeably sleepy and his shoulders hunched in exhaustion.

“Oh yes” Magnus exclaimed and Alec watched as he leaned his head back against all the coats behind him, his eyes closing and his face twisting into a big smile. “We danced, we danced a lot Alec and we talked and God-“ Magnus whispered and sighed heavily through his smile. “I missed them so much” he admitted and opened his eyes to look at Alec, his vision suddenly much more sober.

“I know” Alec said and tossed Magnus’s shoes to the side when he finally managed to get them off, revealing a pair of glittery mesh socks that covered his feet. “Let’s get you to bed” Alec muttered more to himself than to Magnus before standing up slowly, gently grabbing Magnus by his elbows and tugging him to his feet, the drunk man swaying where he stood as Alec wrapped an arm around his broad shoulders. “I’m glad you had fun, Mags” Alec whispered and pressed a kiss to the side of Magnus’s head, squeezing his shoulders lovingly as he guided them to his bedroom, the dark room hazardous with all of Magnus’s stuff carelessly tossed everywhere for Alec and Magnus to trip over. They eventually made it over to the bed and Alec sat Magnus down carefully, raising his eyes at the other man but getting a blank expression in response. “Your clothes, take them off” Alec said imperatively and gestured to his shirt, rolling his eyes at the mischievous smirk that spread across his boyfriend’s face.

“My, my Alexander. Taking advantage of the intoxicated, are we?” Magnus winked and laughed out loud, Alec watching with wide eyes as he fell back onto the bed, his feet dangling mere millimetres off the floor.

“No, Magnus. Come on” Alec begged and kneeled on the bed, his tired fingers unbuttoning his lover’s shirt for him when his eyes fluttered shut. “You have to help me out, it’s late and you-” Alec groaned pointedly and jabbed a finger in Magnus’s chest. “-have classes to teach in like four hours” Alec said and kept unbuttoning his vest and then his button up shirt, the open fabric revealing his beautiful chest.

When Magnus didn’t oblige however, Alec took matters into his own hands and moved to the zipper of his dress trousers, undoing it with ease and carefully sliding the trouser off his legs and tossing them on the floor. He managed, after a while of struggling with Magnus’s deadweight, to get his shirt off as well and after much too long and too much strenuous effort, Magnus was positioned underneath the covers, completely passed out cold.

Alec took his time to remove Magnus’s jewellery, carefully sliding off all his rings, taking off his necklaces and even removing the spiderweb cuff from his ear like he’d seen Magnus do numerous times before, placing everything in the little blue bowl Magnus had positioned on the bedside table before kissing him on the cheek and standing up.

Alec sighed to himself as he watched Magnus’s makeup rub off on his pale blue bedsheets, absentmindedly deciding to retrieve Magnus’s trusty makeup wipes from the bathroom along with two paracetamol and one ibuprofen accompanied by a tall glass of water, setting everything down on the bedside table nearest Magnus.

Alec positioned himself beside the sleeping man and used one of the wipes unfamiliarly but gently, carefully wiping his face clean of eyeliner and sweat, taking his time and marvelling at how peaceful Magnus looked when he slept. After a while and when Alec thought his face looked perfectly clean, he tossed the makeup wipe carelessly on the floor and claimed into the bed with Magnus, taking the other man into his arms and feeling his breath against his neck as he eventually fell into a light sleep.

 

———-

 

The sound of his alarm had never been so infuriatingly loud as that morning, Alec’s eyes shut tightly as he desperately wished for the sound to go away, groaning loudly when he realised that he did not posses the power to control things with his mind.

After a few moments of self pity, Alec opened his eyes and realised that Magnus was essentially lying on top of him and that their legs were intertwined ridiculously intimately. Alec could smell the alcohol on Magnus’s breath as he kissed his cheek before detangling himself from the other man, sliding off the bed while noting that he couldn’t remember the last time he felt this tired. It was 6.15 AM and Alec opened the blinds in his bedroom to hopefully wake Magnus and himself up, the tall man proceeding to walk into his bathroom and turn on the shower robotically.

Alec stripped off his pyjamas and stepped into the warm shower, the water calmingly running down his body and the sensation itself making Alec moan in pleasure as he reached for his body wash, the fragrance waking him up almost instantaneously. After a while of just sanding there and inhaling the fresh smell of citrus, Alec heard familiar but unusually quick footsteps running into the bathroom followed by a forceful opening of the toilet lid, Alec closing his eyes as he heard his boyfriend cough into the toilet silently, the alcohol from the night before hopefully leaving his system and making him less hungover.

Alec proceeded to finish his shower routin slowly before reaching for a towel and wrapping it around his waist, stepping out of the shower and raising his eyebrows in amusement and sympathy when he saw Magnus lying flat on the floor, his back against the cold tiles and his bare legs halfway out the bathroom.

“Good morning to you, too” Alec said and laughed when Magnus closed his eyes at the sound of his voice, a weary groan escaping his lips.

“Shh” Magnus whispered and waved a hand in Alec’s direction, his chest rising and falling slowly and Alec could see the goosebumps that were covering his entire body.

“Not feeling so well, I take it“ Alec stated softly and walked over to the man, staring at him from where he was towering over him, Alec’s eyes warm and loving as he observed the poorly looking man at his feet.

“Remind me to never drink again” Magnus muttered and put one arm over his eyes, Alec seeing from where he was standing how his entire body trembled.

“We both know that’s not going to happen, but okay” Alec joked lightly and walked into his bedroom to put on a pair of boxers before grabbing the untouched pills along with the glass of water, slowly shuffling back into the bathroom and kneeling by Magnus’s side while kissing his bent knee in the process. “Here, take these” he said softly and caressed Magnus’s arm, the other man looking at him with tired and bloodshot eyes. Alec took hold of his hand and helped him into an upright position, handing the glass to him as he swallowed the pills effortlessly, downing the rest of the water within seconds.

“Are we okay?” Magnus asked silently, his eyes suddenly uneven. “We were interrupted yesterday and then I left and decided to drink a whole bottle of vodka before we could sort things out” he grimaced and gripped Alec’s hand, bringing it to his lips and pressing a soft kiss to his palm.

“We’re fine, Magnus” Alec said and stood up, bringing Magnus with him in the process. The other man winced noticeably at the movement and Alec wrapped an arm around his shoulders instantly, bringing him to his chest and holding him somewhat protectively. “You can tell me in your own time, okay? Although I do look forward to getting to know Ragnor and Raphael, they seem like-“ Alec laughed into Magnus’s hair and cleared his throat. “-interesting and passionate people” Alec finished and felt Magnus laugh against his bare shoulder.

“They are” he said and stepped back, Alec observing as he swallowed thickly, his nose scrunching together in disgust. “I need a shower” he stated matter of factly before stripping off his underwear and chucking them in Alec’s laundry basket, the gesture making Alec’s heart flutter since it felt incredibly domestic.

“Wait” Alec called as Magnus was about to step into the shower, his backside beautiful and Alec unashamedly let his eyes linger on his body before he closed his eyes and shook his head. Licking his lips involuntarily, Alec took a few steps towards the other man and kissed him gently on the mouth, hearing the other man suck in a breath before smiling into the kiss. “I’ve missed this” Alec said and kissed him again.

“Me too” Magnus said and move behind the shower curtain, Alec hearing him sigh loudly as he left the room, the water drowning out all sound as he walked into the bedroom to make his bed.

Alec eventually got dressed in a pair of black chinos, a navy blue button up covered in white doves that Izzy had bought him at some point, and his leather jacket, sloppily fixing his hair in the hallway mirror when Magnus emerged from the bedroom dressed in a pair of black and grey striped dress trousers, a black silk buttoned up with frilled hems and a black suede suit jacket. His makeup was simple but effective and his hair was neatly styled upwards, he looked like a spread from a fashion magazine despite how hungover he was and Alec found it difficulty to tear his eyes away.

“You look beautiful” Alec said and caught Magnus’s attention, the other man making his way over to him and cupping his cheek gently.

“You look stunning too, my darling” Magnus whispered and pressed a quick kiss to Alec’s mouth, the smell of his shampoo lingering in the air as he stepped back. “I’m going to go check on Ragnor and Raphael” Magnus mumbled somewhat groggily and turned to look away from Alec, his body swaying slightly where he stood and Alec could see that he was not, in fact, completely sober.

“I’ll meet you downstairs” Alec said and waved goodbye to the other man as he left, bending down to put on his own boots slowly.

 

————

 

After they eventually had made it to the university - Alec, Magnus, Ragnor and Raphael - Alec was already five minutes late, the other men - although Magnus was by far the most hungover - significantly slowing him down along the way. As his first lecture finally finished however, and his long awaited lunch break commenced, Alec left the lecture hall as promptly as he could, not wanting to speak to anyone from his class.

“Alexander Lightwood” a voice from his left said and startled the tall man as he half-jogged out of the lecture hall, Alec almost dropping his laptop in the process as he turned on his heel towards the sound. “Would you be so kind as to walk with me?” a familiar British voice asked and as Alec’s eyes landed on the man, he recognised him as Ragnor, who, in bright daylight, looked impressively intelligent and intimidating.

“Yes, of course, Sir” Alec stuttered out and walked over to him, glancing down at the slightly older man while he was being observed intensely by his dark brown eyes.

“Oh no, don’t ‘sir’ me, it doesn’t sit well with me” he humoured and gave Alec a reassuring smile before gesturing with his hand, walking away and glancing over his shoulder when Alec, awkward as he was, continued to stay frozen in place.

“Of course, Mr Ragnor-?” Alec asked and jogged to catch up with him, trying to put his laptop back into his bag in the process.

“Ragnor Fell, my dear” he said and Alec was struck at how similarly Magnus and Ragnor used language. It could be a British thing, he thought to himself as he nodded in the other man’s direction. “But please just call me Ragnor”

“Noted” Alec said and bit his lip awkwardly, this silence that fell over them disturbingly dense.

“Alexander, I see the way he looks at you” Ragnor said suddenly as they made their way down towards reception, and it hit Alec that Ragnor seemed to be much too well versed with the university’s layout for someone who had ever just been there once. “He looks at you like you hung the moon and all the stars in the galaxy, you know” Ragnor muttered and looked at Alec who was blushing furiously, it feeling strange to talk about this with someone he hardly even knew. “That stupid fool” Ragnor murmured, more to himself than to Alec the taller man assumed, as he glanced away from Alec when they exited the entryway of the university.

“Why’s that?” Alec asked, unsure whether to be alarmed or angry at the fact that he called Magnus a stupid fool.

“He falls too quickly and too head over heels for people, and don’t tell him I told you this but when Richard died, he was in a very, very bad place” Ragnor sighed and stopped in his tracks, turning to face Alec where they were standing on one of the cycle paths outside of the university and grabbing his left shoulder tightly, his facial expression unreadable. “I thought he had lost it and when he eventually got together with Camille, don’t even get me started, I thought that was it, you know?” Alec just stared at him because he didn’t know, actually. “She was everything he wasn’t. Careless, unintentional, uncommitted, and cold hearted. She ended up hurting him as I presume you know and merely days later you came along” Ragnor shook his head and looked away, squinting at something in the far distance. “And now he’s looking at you the exact same way he used to look at Richard, like you deserve the world. He rushes into these things too quickly for his own good, that brilliantly stupid boy” Ragnor muttered and Alec wondered, for a brief second, if he’d forgotten that Alec was still there with him.

“Well-“ Alec said an cleared his throat awkwardly, realising that Richard was the name of the smiling man in the picture that Magnus had showed him. “I think he deserves the world too, you know” Alec muttered defensively and straightened his back, not really enjoying the feeling of someone implying that he wasn’t good enough for Magnus, or that Alec didn’t think that Magnus was worth everything.

“I know and I can see the way you look at him, I’m a psychiatrist after all. Although I doubt Magnus has told you that” he stated and laughed quietly, his tone interestingly even.

“He hasn’t told me much about his life before New York to be honest, I didn’t even know you existed until yesterday, sorry” Alec muttered and felt a bit stupid and again admittedly bitter that Magnus had kept such a chunk of his past from him.

“I’m not surprised, he looks the way he does and struts so confidently but he’s actually extremely closed off” Ragnor said and it felt nice to hear someone other than Alec address what he had been feeling and recognising in Magnus. “This has to stay between us though, okay?” Ragnor ensured before continuing. “He’d kill me if he knew I was talking to you about this but promise me something”

“Anything” Alec said honestly, knowing that he’d, without fail, do anything when it came to Magnus.

“Don’t be an idiot, don’t hurt him. I saw the way he looked yesterday and I can tell that something has happened between the two of you. I hope you work through it because-“ he sucked in a sharp breath and cleared his throat. “-I can’t bear to mend his broken heart again” Ragnor admitted and Alec found himself blinking away the tears that had welled in his eyes, squinting distractingly into the sun as he bit the insides of is cheeks, frowning as he processed what Ragnor had told him.

“I promise” Alec choked out and pursed his lips, glancing away from the other man.

“Having said that however, don’t take his shit. He’s messed up and oftentimes really selfless. Don’t let him push you away and make you feel cheated or like you don’t matter. He’s good at hiding things and feelings. And that bloody spider that he’s always hiding somewhere. I think he plots it, you know? It always seems to pop up at the most inconvenient of times. Almost gave poor Raphael a heart attack last night” Ragnor said and bumped his shoulder to Alec’s, the taller man finally felling a bit less nervous as he laughed out loud at the spider comment.

“Yeah, Mr Chomsky is something and a half” Alec snickered and looked at Ragnor. “Raphael is your-?” Alec wondered out loud, thinking back to what Magnus had said last night about them sleeping together in his bed.

“He’s my husband” Ragnor said happily and looked at Alec with a big smile.

“Oh” Alec said surprised, his face dropping slightly as he remembered something else Magnus had said two nights ago. “Magnus-“ he started quietly but suddenly and seriously stopped himself, unsure whether it would be appropriate to voice his concerns to anyone who wasn’t Magnus. “-Magnus told me he was in a—bad place after—Richard died. He told me that he-“ Alec swallowed and looked at his feet that were carrying him tiredly somewhere somehow. “-he told me that he tried to kill himself. Did he, did he actually really ju-“

“He never jumped, I was the one who found him and dragged him off that damn ledge” Ragnor cut him off, his voice suddenly uneven and emotional. “But I think that is something for Magnus to tell you in his own time, it was—it was a horrible time for him and he deserves to use his own words to explain it” Ragnor continued and looked at Alec, his green jacket vibrant in the midday light.

“Of course” Alec croaked out quickly, his voice husky as he nodded his head, licking his lips as he glanced around the busy streets. A few moments passed and they walked in silence, their shoes meeting the pavement seemingly inaudibly as the crowded streets and honking cars overpowered everything, Alec’s eyes continuously watching the cars and people pass by and the trees blooming prettily as spring was about to turn into summer.

“Oh, that was it” Ragnor suddenly exclaimed after a while, his sudden utterance startling Alec. “I stopped by his office earlier today, where he was sleeping at his desk that poor and dumb man, and I asked him if he wanted to come and lecture at the end of year grand lecture at King’s College” he said in a light voice, his accent making him sound well-mannered and authoritative.

“That’s great, what did he say?” Alec asked, pride rising in his chest at the thought of King’s College wanting his boyfriend to lecture there.

“He said he wanted to think about it although I call bull crap. I bet if you went he’d go without a shadow of a doubt” Ragnor stated nonchalantly and eyed Alec solemnly from the side, his eyebrows furrowed as he gave him the tiniest of smiles. “You should offer to go with him. I know he would really appreciate it”

“Well, he hasn’t said anything to me, what if he doesn’t want m-“

“Nonsense, Alexander. That man loves you with his entire being, you coming along and seeing where he grew up would benefit him, and your relationship with him, greatly. Besides, he hasn’t told you because he’s busy feeling like shit. I told him that drinking that much last night would be an awful idea. He never does listen to me” Ragnor muttered but laughed, Alec’s face immediately turning into a scowl, worry suddenly filling his chest at the thought of Magnus feeling poorly.

“Is he okay? Maybe I should go and check on h-“ Alec rambled frantically, already digging his phone out of his jacket to send him a text. His movement to start typing was interrupted by Ragnor’s hand however, his fingernails painted a similar shade to Magnus’s - was nail polish a thing all England-raised guys did? - as they snatched the phone from his grip effortlessly.

“Leave him be, he needs to learn from his mistakes without your mother hen like love nursing him back to health. Let him puke by himself for once” Ragnor said casually while rolling his eyes, sounding like this was not the first time that he had dealt with Magnus in such a state. Alec reluctantly watched Ragnor put the phone into his rugged backpack, feeling as he zipped it up while pointedly looking at Alec. “So, lunch?” Ragnor suggested and smiled suddenly and widely at Alec, his eyes warm and inviting and while Alec couldn’t shake the feeling of worry for Magnus, he smiled back at him. “Raphael is meeting some old friends and, well, Magnus is unfit to eat at the moment, I believe” he said and proceeded to walk a bit faster, forcing Alec to have to jog to keep up with him despite his long legs. “It’s your lunch break now, isn’t” he stated rather than asked and Alec squinted at him.

“How do you know I have my lunch break now?” he inquired suspiciously, eyeing the man curiously.

“Don’t you worry your pretty, pretty little head about that” was all he said before pointing his hand at a restaurant to their right, a Chinese place that looked attractively inviting. “What about this place?” he asked and Alec just sighed and followed after him as he entered, frowning slightly but not being able to conceal the smile that was inevitably spreading across his face. It was nice to get to know some of Magnus’s friends and, in the process, get a better insight into why he was the way he was.

And Alec had, much to his own surprise, really enjoyed his time with Ragnor - the man was funny, smarty, and extremely understanding and calming. They had spend his entire lunch break together, the two hours had been spent eating and they had even spent a great chunk of time window shopping before Alec had to rush back to his last class of the day, Criminal Law.

The time was currently 3.57 and Alec was counting down the minutes until it was finished, really wanting to go check on Magnus irregardless of what Ragnor had said and advised him against. The lecturer kept going on and on about something Alec couldn’t really care about however and when the lecturer eventually said her goodbyes, Alec restlessly shot up form his seat and walked swiftly out of the lecture hall and towards the humanities and social sciences building.

The halls were crowded and as he got closer to Magnus’s office, the crowds were almost impossible to penetrate, Alec pushing his way through crowds of tired looking students - much like himself - and despite the fact that he was much taller than almost everyone there, he found it pathetically difficult to reach his boyfriend’s office door, eventually elbowing his way there and receiving pointed and annoyed glares as he shuffled past the other students.

“There’s a line, man” someone said from behind him and Alec rolled his eyes and turned around to glare at the person, a tiny looking guy no older than 18 suddenly looking a bit scared as Alec towered over him.

“What a shame” Alec breathed and turned back to the door, knocking softly before entering and shutting the door quickly behind himself. Magnus’s office was dark, the blinds were closed tightly, and Alec’s heart fluttered as he heard Magnus’s soft breathing form somewhere inside the pitch black room that, to Alec’s disdain and discomfort, smelled of alcohol.

“Magnus?” he asked softly, dropping his bag on the floor as he moved closer to the desk, finally seeing a figure laying with his head on his folded arms over his desk, a bin neatly positioned between his legs which Alec presumed was the reason the entire room reeked of hangover. Alec twitched his nose in slight disgust but walked around the desk nevertheless to put a gentle hand on his boyfriend’s back, rubbing in comfortingly and feeling the other man stir beneath his touch. “There’s quite the crowd out there” Alec commented, his voice soft but light as he bent down to give Magnus a one armed hug.

“Oh God” Magnus muttered from where his head was resting, his shoulders rolling back as he slowly but surely sat back, Alec eyeing him wearily as their eyes met. “What time is it?” Magnus rasped out, his voice think from sleep and other things which Alec did not care, nor want, to think about.

“It’s 4 but h-“

“Oh God, my office hours” Magnus exclaimed and stood up, almost knocking Alec - and the bin - over as he tired to move past him. Alec just stopped him with his hands and brought him into a tight hug, felling Magnus slump against him almost immediately.

“I can tell them to go away if you want?” Alec suggested and held Magnus tightly, remembering the conversation he and Ragnor had had earlier about not letting Magnus push him away or be too selfish. “This entire room kind of reeks of alcohol, I’m not sure it’s the best way to greet students, Mags” Alec grimaced jokingly and kicked the bin with his foot, pressing a kiss to the top of Magnus’s head as the tired man groaned into his shoulder.

“Fine” he muttered unhappily and stepped back to open the blinds, his face tilting to the side as the light collided with his eyes. Alec just smiled sweetly at him and turned towards the door, stopping in his tracks when he remembered what Magnus’s profession actually entailed.

“Wait, it’s literally your job to help them. What if you get in trouble?” Alec realised and gasped in Magnus’s direction, earning a small chuckle to escape his lover’s lips, the brightness of the open blind showcasing Magnus’s dark under eyes and his hungover face.

“They gave me tenure, those fools. Couldn’t fire me even if they wanted to” Magnus said and Alec thought he detected some pride in the words that were spoken, the tall man raising his eyebrows and smiling widely at him because of course Magnus had tenure, of course.

“Alright then” Alec said and walked over to the door, swinging it open and startling a few students in the process. “Professor Bane’s office hours are cancelled today. He will reschedule them for next week” Alec improvised and watched the faces of the students before him - many looked angry, Alec was not going to lie, and some looked confused.

“Who are you?” someone asked, and although Alec didn’t think it was any of their God damn business who he was, he smiled coldly at them and nodded his head in their direction.

“I’m his-“ Alec said and swallowed thickly, his mind racing to find an appropriate noun. “-assistant, yes” Alec finished and cringed. ‘Assistant, really?’ he thought to himself as he glared at them once more before closing the door in their faces, hearing Magnus laugh wholeheartedly behind him.

“My assistant?” Magnus giggled and walked over to where Alec was facing the door, Alec feeling his soft hands running down his chest and as he looked at the other man, Magnus winked shamelessly at him which made Alec choke on the oxygen he tired to inhale - Magnus seemed to be feeling much better all of a sudden. “I could work with that” he purred and Alec felt his hands grip at his shirt, his lean fingers swift and experienced as he unbuttoned his button up quickly.

“Magnus” Alec gasped and pushed his boyfriend’s hands away, blushing furiously as he staggered backwards, giggling softly to himself. “You’re impossible” Alec laughed and watched in endearment as Magnus’s lips formed into a cute pout, his eyes resembling those of a sad puppy. Alec shook his head lovingly before moving towards the other man once again, walking up to him and rubbing their noses together in an Eskimo kiss. “Later” he whispered into his lover’s ear and he could hear Magnus moan softly in front of him. “Ragnor told me he invited you to lecture at King’s College, by the way” Alec mentioned casually, looking at Magnus expectedly.

“Yeah-“ Magnus started and bit his lip, his thumb and forefinger rubbing together nervously, Alec bringing his hand up and taking it in his instead, lazily intertwining their fingers. “-I’m not sure I’ll go though, I’d be gone for a month” Magnus said and looked up at Alec with wide eyes, silently letting Alec know that Ragnor had been right about him not wanting to go because of him. Alec, in turn, saw the perfect opportunity and grinned at the other man.

“You know-“ Alec commenced, licking his lips and moving his face towards Magnus’s once more, close enough to feel his breath on his face. “I’ve always wanted to visit England” he said and kissed him on the cheek, the smile that spread across his face brilliant and unforgivingly bright.

“Really?” Magnus asked surprisedly, his eyebrows raised and his lips turned into a hesitant smile.

“Uh yeah” Alec said and stepped back, looking out of the office windows and seeing the city move before him. “Who doesn’t want to visit the land of Harry Potter and the Great British Bake-off?” Alec said in a horrendous English accent, Magnus laughing out loud where he stood beside him, the tall man feeling him drop his hand and warp his arms around his shoulders instead, bringing him into a tight hug.

“That was abominably despicable and completely disrespectful” Magnus whispered softly into his ear and Alec gasped in mock-offence, lifting him off the floor easily and spinning the shorter man around once before setting him down and glaring at him jokingly, Magnus laughing loudly as he clutched at Alec’s biceps.

“No need to be hurtful” Alec joked and walked over to where he had left his bag, picking it up and looking at Magnus. “What do you say we get out of here?” Alec continued and Magnus nodded in his direction, Alec watching as he walked over to his desk to put his laptop into his messenger bag and grab his keys and phone from the desk before walking over to the door, holding his hand out for Alec to take. “Should you not fix the bin situation, no offence but it kind of—stinks” Alec huffed out from where he was standing, eyeing Magnus somewhat seriously while awaiting a reply. Magnus just rolled his eyes and walked towards Alec, making grabby hands at him as he got closer.

“That’s what the cleaners are for” Magnus mumbled and Alec rolled his eyes.

“You’re the worst, you know that right?” Alec teased but took Magnus’s still outstretched hand in his, intertwining their fingers and squeezing Magnus’s cold hand tightly. “Also, I think it’s generally frowned upon to hold you assistant’s hand” Alec commented casually as they left, gesturing towards their linked fingers and hearing Magnus chuckle quietly beside him.

“Oh I don’t know, I think it’s pretty hot” Magnus whispered into his ear, tugging on his hand a bit harder as they marched out of the building.

 

———

 

Raphael was sitting in Magnus’s apartment, eyeing the disgusting creature with angry eyes when the front door opened. Raphael could tell that it was Ragnor, he had come to recognise the way he walked a long time ago after all, despite the fact that his eyes never left the spider that was sitting on the floor before him. “Why the hell did Magnus decide to get a tarantula? Why couldn’t he get a puppy like a normal person?” Raphael muttered grumpily and felt someone sit next to him and press a gentle kiss to his shoulder.

“Since when has Magnus ever done something normal?” Ragnor asked and Raphael turned his head towards him and smiled at him, leaning forward to kiss him softly on the lips. Looking down a their laps, Raphael noticed that his husband was holding onto a bridal magazine, Raphael’s eyebrows furrowing even further when he realised that there were in fact more like five of them in his lover’s grasp. “Why on earth are you carrying bridal magazines around? Is this your way of asking for a divorce because you’re planning on marrying some woman?” Raphael joked and snatched one out of Ragnor’s grip, casually flipping through it and silently marvelling at the pretty pictures.

“I was inspired today” Ragnor said and Raphael looked up from the magazine, raising his eyebrows expectantly at the other man.

“How so?” he inquired and tossed the magazine across the room, half heartedly wishing it would land on, and kill, the damn spider.

“I had lunch with Magnus’s Alexander today, sweet boy that one” Ragnor mused and sighed happily to himself.

“So? They’re not married” Raphael pointed out, leaning back against the sofa and letting his head fall to Ragnor’s blazer clad shoulder. “Unless I missed something”

“They’re not married, don’t be a fool” he laughed and linked their fingers together. “But I see the way that man looks at him and I see the way Magnus returns his gaze” Ragnor whispered and Raphael could feel his eyes on him. “It’s only a matter of time before they realise that they’re meant to be together. After all the searching and heartbreak, I’m grateful that Magnus has found someone who looks at him like he crafted the whole damn universe with a snap of his fingers” Ragnor muttered and Raphael squeezed his hand, bringing it up to his lips and pressing feathery kisses into the back of his hand - he knew how much Magnus meant to Ragnor and how much pain it had caused him to watch their friend suffer for so long.

“I bet £100” Rafael said decidedly and looked up at Ragnor rather suddenly, the other man frowning at him. “That Magnus will propose before the end of the year” Raphael clarified and looked blindly in front of him, the feeling in his chest foreign but happy at the thought of Magnus finally being happy after all this time.

“No, no” Ragnor said and tugged his hand from Raphael’s grip, patting him on the thigh instead. “Magnus will not propose, he’s too scared of rejection. Alexander, on the other hand, is naive and from what I can tell relatively unbroken, I reckon he will propose before the end of the year. I bet you £200, actually” Ragnor said and smirked smugly at Raphael, the shorter man just rolling his eyes and laughing softly to himself.

“Betting doesn’t really work when you’re married. Your money is my money after all” Raphael reasoned confidently, patting Ragnor degradingly on the thigh in return.

“You’re just scared to lose since you know I’m hardly ever, and so incredulously rarely, wrong, my love” Ragnor huffed out and Raphael pushed him over on the sofa, staring at his husband with loving eyes before pressing their lips together.

“Oh, it’s on” Raphael said breathlessly, kissing Ragnor once more before sitting back and glaring at the spider, thinking how nice it would be to see Magnus get the happily ever after he so greatly deserved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Malec has four people betting on them now, but does Alec have the guts to propose to Magnus? Oh and furthermore, they’re going to England.
> 
> What could go wrong?
> 
> Thank you to everyone for reading!


	15. Chapter 15

Alec had decided to stop worrying about Magnus’s past after the conversation with Ragnor four weeks ago - and because he was too busy, quite frankly, with end of year exams to really worry about something that was non of his business to worry about - which delightfully, yet unsurprisingly, had left his and Magnus’s relationship much less strained.

Magnus had stayed over at Alec’s every night for four weeks now, despite the fact that Ragnor and Raphael had left for England four days earlier, and it felt incredible, Alec smiling to himself every time he looked at his gorgeous, intelligent, handsome, and hilarious boyfriend simply because he was Magnus, and Alec had come to need Magnus more than he had ever needed - or thought he’d ever need - anyone in his entire life. They shared the same bed, they held each other, he knew Magnus’s smell and quirks, they shared their dreams and aspirations and it all felt like forever, a future without Magnus suddenly seeming dull, meaningless and incomplete.

It was Thursday and Alec had just finished his final exam and was officially done with his second year of his graduate degree, when his phone buzzed loudly in his pocket, startling him out of the post-exam daze that he was infixed in as he exited the university, his entire body throbbing with exhaustion. Groaning tiredly, Alec pulled the phone out of his pocket and rolled his eyes lovingly at the screen when he saw who was calling, squinting absentmindedly into the setting sun as he answered.

“Hello, Isabelle” he said lightly into the phone, readjusting the backpack that was sloppily hanging over his shoulder before jogging down the steps that lead to the main road, glancing around and inhaling the fresh smell of blooming trees that submerged the university gardens. “How can I be of assistance?” Alec asked jokingly, hearing with restless delight how Izzy laughed on the other end, her voice soft and happy as she sighed into the phone.

“Well-“ she started expectantly and Alec could immediately tell that she was up to something. “-how would you feel about hosting a goodbye movie night at your and Magnus’s place tonight?” she asked quickly, the rustling on the other end suggesting that she was out somewhere.

“Okay, first of all-” Alec started seriously and rolled his eyes at her unwavering bluntness. “-Magnus and I are not living together” he clarified with a sigh, his voice noticeably stained. “And secondly, I’m not sure about a move night, Iz. I’m really tired and Magnus has been working late all week and we need to be up really early in the morning” he reasoned and bit his lip when he heard his sister sigh, guilt already building in his chest since his least favourite thing, after letting Magnus down, was letting his sister down.

“But we’ll miss you guys so much, you’re going to be out of the country for like a month and a half, the least you can do is say goodbye to all of us” she whined loudly into the phone and Alec could hear another voice shouting on the other end, instantaneously recognising it as Simon’s but paying no mind to it. “And also, you guys are totally living together. Stop denying it and make it official already” she said and her voice was completely deprived of humour, her tone serious and Alec could, honestly and completely, see her point - about the goodbye movie night and about moving in with Magnus. As much as he loved Magnus and as much as he was looking forward to spending time together with him in England, he was nevertheless going to miss Izzy and Jace and their annoying significant others.

“Alright-“ he began and moved the phone away from his ear as his sister squealed into the phone, her tone alarmingly high pitched. “-but before you let anyone know I’m going to have to ask Magnus, okay? I’ll get back to you” he muttered and hung up the phone before she could convince him to do anything else - Alec was aware that she was a master manipulator and tonight, he was not planning on falling victim to it, again. Smiling to himself despite the change of plans for the evening - well, the previous plans had been to go home and sleep so it really didn’t affect much - he looked down at his phone which displayed a smiling picture of Magnus and opened his contacts, pressing the button to commence another call and bringing the phone back to his ear, longingly awaiting the answer.

“Who dares disturb me at this ungodly hour?” a beautifully familiar voice boomed from the other end, Alec’s face immediately twisting into a large grin at the ridiculous man as he crossed the street carefully, politely gesturing a ‘thank you’ to the stopping cars in the process while silently composing himself enough to properly address his boyfriend.

“Magnus, you know I love you but it’s 7.30 PM” he judged and heard Magnus put something down on the other end of the line, the other man laughing slightly and dramatically as Alec heard him scoff into the phone in mock-offence, gasping loudly as Alec kept talking. “What are you up to?” Alec wondered as his fingers played with the hem of his shirt, carelessly tugging at a loose thread which Magnus would undoubtedly scold him for later, the tall man slowly walking down the street that led to his apartment, his feet carrying him there almost automatically.

“Oh you know, happily failing students, Alexander” Magnus commented casually, his voice light but Alec could hear how tired he sounded despite the other man’s best efforts. “I’m joking, of course. How was your exam, darling?” he asked and Alec laughed out loud, earning glances from the many strangers passing by, shaking his head in absolute disbelief.

“You’re the worst” Alec laughed, raising his eyebrows as someone walked into him roughly, Alec almost dropping his phone in the process and glaring at whoever it was while mentally slapping the living crap out of them. “My exam went fine, I guess. Probably thanks to you and your vigorous tutoring. I swear-“ Alec continued happily as he approached the apartment building. “-dating a genius professor has its perks” he said teasingly and he could hear Magnus chuckle on the other end, the sound - as it always did - making Alec’s heart flutter unsettlingly quickly in his chest.

“You’re giving me too much credit, Alexander. You, my love, is the genius” Magnus continued and Alec could hear the smirk in his voice, Alec smiling happily at the doorman as he essentially ran up the stairs, his breathing ragged as he fished out the keys from his pocket.

“Oh, please, we both know that’s not true” Alec muttered as he unlocked the door and stepped inside, the warm light from the sitting room indicating that Magnus, in accordance with Alec’s expectations, was there, the entire place smelling of scented candles. Before Alec could continue or hang up the phone, as if on cue, Magnus jogged out of the sitting room and flung his arms around Alec’s neck, the taller man feeling his nose nuzzle lazily against his neck as he pressed kisses into his hair. “Hi” Alec breathed into Magnus’s embrace and lifted him up carefully, the shorter man’s feet dangling a few centimetre off the hardwood floors for a few seconds before Alec put him down and leaned back, his smile bright and happy.

“I missed you” Magnus said and gave Alec a chaste kiss on the mouth, his pained fingernails quickly and familiarly tugging at Alec’s hair in an attempt to pull him even closer. “I cannot believe the school year is over” he breathed in between kisses, Alec humming contentedly into his mouth as he subconsciously dropped his heavy bag to the floor, the sound echoing through the apartment as Alec put his arms around Magnus’s waist to pull him closer.

“God, me too. I can’t wait to go to London tomorrow” Alec spoke into his mouth and felt himself being pressed against the front door, Magnus’s hands quickly and skilfully tugging at his shirt and tossing it across the room. Alec’s mind went blank as Magnus started kissing down his neck, his warm breath tickling him as his movements continued travelling down his chest, Magnus’s lips kissing him in all the right places and Alec had to bite back a moan as Magnus’s fingers began fiddling with the sipper of his jeans, his mouth intimately close. Alec knew that if he let Magnus continue, there was no way they’d be in any position to receive guests later that evening and while he shamelessly enjoying the sensation for just a few seconds longer, Alec groaned loudly and tugged Magnus up towards him again, kissing him fiercely and breathlessly before stepping back and placing his hands on his lover’s shoulders.

“What?” Magnus asked stubbornly and Alec couldn’t help but kiss the pout that was forming on his face, his features too handsome and adorable for his own good but instead of falling for it - as Alec always did -, he brought Magnus into a bone crushing hug, once again lifting him off the floor and holding him tightly.

“Later” Alec whispered and nibbled at Magnus’s ear cuff, slowly setting the man down when Magnus started kissing down his neck again, Alec glaring at him jokingly but the light in his eyes communicating nothing but love and admiration. “Izzy called and asked if they could come over and watch a move with us tonight. As a type of ‘goodbye party’ or whatever she called it” Alec said and brought his slightly cold hand to Magnus’s face, caressing his flustered cheek gently before bending down and tugging off his boots, hearing as Magnus picked up his backpack form the floor and positioned it on one of the coat rack’s hooks.

“A farewell party?” Magnus questioner sceptically, his voice suddenly low and uneven. “We’re leaving here at five tomorrow morning, darling. Do you think it’s a good idea?” he reasoned and looked at Alec vulnerably, his dark eyes soft but serious. “The flight is 8 hours long too, but if you want them to come that’s fine, this—this is your apartment after all” Magnus said and smiled hesitantly at Alec, the taller man frowning as he walked over to Magnus again, kissing him softly on the forehead.

“If you’re too tired then I’ll just tell her no. She’ll understand” Alec hummed and looked past Magnus into the apartment, watching the coffee table from where he was standing and realising that it was covered in exam papers, textbooks, and essays. “I can tell that you’ve been busy and I’m really tired as well” Alec said and while it was true, he really did want to say goodbye to them. Magnus, almost as if he could read Alec’s mind, stepped back and grabbed his shoulders, looking him deeply in the eye and nodding his head reassuringly.

“No, let’s have them come over. Let’s watch a fun film, we can sleep on the plane tomorrow” Magnus whispered and took a step back, turning on his heel and sexily eyeing Alec over his shoulder, his hips moving seductively as he walked.

“You have to stop doing that” Alec muttered loudly as he walked after him, following closely behind and positioning himself down on the sofa next to Magnus, putting a hand on his leg as he watched him get back to work, the shorter man’s eyebrows furrowing in concentration and his lip wedged between his teeth habitually. “How much work do you have left?” Alec asked softly and rubbed Magnus’s hunched back, the other man shrugging his shoulder slightly before turning his face to Alec, his lips formed into a small smile.

“Just a couple more essays to grade, get back to your sister” Magnus said imperatively and fixed his gaze on the papers in front of him again, Alec hearing him sigh heavily. The taller man bit his lip in uncertainty but did what he was told, and before they knew it - and after the two of them had tidied the place up slightly - the doorbell rang. Alec and Magnus, who had spent the past fifteen minutes cuddled together on the sofa and conversed about their days and what they wanted to do whilst in London, groaned in unison as the door handle rattled and Izzy, Simon, Jace, and Clary stepped inside, the entire ensemble carrying treats and snacks of varying varieties.

“Good evening, love birds” Izzy said as she took the lead, walking into the sitting room while Alec and Magnus quickly detangled themselves from each other, the couple straightening their postures before standing up in unison.

“Hello, Isabelle. Looking lovely as ever” Magnus exclaimed and walked over to her, hugging her tightly to his chest and pressing a soft kiss to her head. Alec smiled at them and locked eyes with Jace, his blond hair looking as crazy as usual and his leather jacket watching that of Clary’s who, in turn, was standing to his left and looking down at her feet. Alec and Clary had never really gotten along, Alec wasn’t sure why since he didn’t dislike her per say, but it was something about her that made it difficult to talk to her - although Alec had been informed by all of his family members that he was the issue, not Clary.

“Hi, man” Jace said and Alec walked over to him and pulled him into a quick hug, Jace’s arms wrapping around his torso tightly and comfortingly.

“Hi, Jace” Alec said and stepped back, turning his head to look at Clary and smiling awkwardly at her, her tiny figure hilariously small in comparisons with Alec’s. “Hi, Clary” he said and tugged her into a hug too, feeling her gasp in surprise before stepping back quickly, her green eyes eyeing him tentatively.

“Wow, Magnus really has changed you. You were right, Jace” Clary snickered and looked at Jace, Alec furrowing his brows and scrunching his nose in confusion. “Love has made him into a little softy” she said happily and Alec was about to lecture her, his hand in the air in an attempt to stop her from continuing when he felt a hand on his arm, his gaze fixing on the ring covered fingers that were clutching his raised bicep.

“Be nice, Alexander” Magnus muttered and smiled widely at Clary, his eyes crinkling adorably as he reached his other hand out for her to shake, Alec just then realising that this was the first time that Magnus met Clary. “You must be Clary, I’ve heard wonderful things about you” he said and Alec watched as Clary beamed at him, her eyes scanning over his body before fixing on his coal lined eyes.

“I love you outfit and your makeup, Alec really is a lucky man” she said and Alec watched lovingly as Magnus’s cheeks reddened gradually, the sorter man turning his head down and shaking it modestly.

“Don’t be ridiculous, I’m the lucky one” he said seriously and looked up at Alec, his normally brown eyes a yellow shade as they reflected the numerous candles scattered across the room - Alec thought he had never looked more beautiful.

“Okay, enough with the sappy lovey-dovey stuff, okay?” Simon begged from somewhere behind Izzy, his brows furrowed in confusion as he distractedly looked at something above Alec and Magnus’s heads. “He’s my professor and I already have a hard enough time in class trying not to remember him in that sexy silk pyjamas with puk-“ Alec closed his eyes as he kept rambling, physically feeling Magnus tense up beside him.

“Can someone make him stop talking?” Alec said loudly, grabbing Magnus’s wrist and tugging him through to the kitchen. “Set up the film and we’ll get bowls for the snacks” he called over his shoulder, dragging Magnus lazily behind him. As they entered the kitchen he released his grip on Magnus’s wrist, the other man walking up to Alec and opening one of the cupboards, familiarly getting down a variety of different sized bowls and raising his eyebrows at Alec in question.

“Should we just bring all of these through?” he asked quietly, Alec pursing his lips as he walked over to give Magnus a short hug, nodding into his hair.

“Yeah, might as well” he muttered tiredly, his entire body relaxing into Magnus and wishing, for a split second, that they could just go to bed. “I’m sorry about Simon” Alec continued quietly, Magnus stirring in his embrace before stepping back, his eyes observing Alec funnily.

“Why?” he inquired confusedly, his brows furrowed and his lips tweaked up into a curious smirk.

“He’s got a big mouth” Alec muttered annoyingly and observed Magnus with wide eyes. “And this is your home, nobody should make you feel uncomfortable in your own home” Alec said firmly, his eyes widening when he realised what he had insinuated. Much to Alec’s surprise, however, Magnus just looked at him in awe, his eyes big and the corners of his mouth twisted into a small smile.

“You see your apartment as my home?” Magnus breathed almost inaudibly, Alec watching as he set down the bowls and stepped closer to Alec again, wrapping his strong arms around his waist and resting his forehead to Alec’s temple.

“I mean, yeah-“ Alec confessed breathlessly as he wrapped his arms tightly around Magnus’s shoulders. “-you have most of your clothes here, Mr Chomsky already lives here and I guess, if you want, you could too” Alec said nervously, his fingers fiddling with the piping of the vest that Magnus was wearing. “Live here, that is” the taller man clarified quietly, holding his breath as he felt Magnus laugh against his face. “I know it’s only been three and a half months but I really thin-“ Alec rambled but was cut off by Magnus pressing a light kiss to his cheek, his touch making Alec blush furiously.

“Are you sure, Alexander?” Magnus asked. “There’s so much you don’t know about me and I’m scared that when you find out, that you’re going to see me differently” he admitted in exhaustion, Alec closing his eyes and shaking his head slowly.

“I care who you are now and I love that person, and whatever happened in the past made you into this wonderful person. How could your past therefore ever change anything?” Alec explained and swallowed loudly, hearing Magnus’s breath hitch against his ear and feeling his lips turn into a large smile before he stepped back from Alec, looking expectantly into his eyes - his expression was raw and happy and that was the first time that Alec realised that he wanted to marry him, he wanted to marry him and make sure that nobody ever hurt him again.

“I’d love that, Alec” Magnus said and just as Alec leaned forward to kiss him, Jace burst into the kitchen and chucked a bag of crisps at Alec, the tall man spinning on his heel angrily and picking it up before forcefully chucking it back at Jace.

“What the hell?” Alec asked angrily, his eyes softening when he heard Magnus laugh behind him, his boyfriend passing him slowly and nudging his shoulder in passing, his hands full of bowls and his expression nothing short of bliss.

“We were taking forever, darling. I’m sure they were wondering what we got up to” Magnus reasoned and winked at Jace, who in turn choked on whatever he was currently eating as he gaped at Alec in horror.

“Okay, too much information, dude” he exclaimed loudly and stormed off, Alec laughing loudly as he too, after a while, followed two of his favourite people into the sitting room and positioned himself next to Magnus who was elegantly seated on the sofa, smiling to himself as his spiked hair covered head fell to his shoulder.

“They had sex” Alec heard Jace whisper to Simon and Alec had to bite back a laugh when he watched the expression on Simon’s face, the poor guy looking like he might pass out at any minute.

“Don’t worry, Solomon” Magnus joked and sat up from his position, leaning a bit closer to Simon and catching his attention. “If we had, we would not be done by now” he said seriously and Alec couldn’t stop himself from snickering - along with the rest of the people in the room -, his cheeks burning in embarrassment and joy as Magnus sat back, his expression smug and his eyes bright.

“You’re the worst” Alec whispered into his ear, kissing his neck softly but quietly and only stopping when Magnus closed his eyes in appreciation, giggling to himself when the shorter man whined cutely next to him. “Later” was all he said in response, tugging Magnus closer to his side and repositioning himself as Magnus tossed his legs across Alec’s lap, the tall man letting his head fall on top of Magnus’s lazily as he made himself comfortable.

“So, what film are we watching?” Magnus asked and before Alec knew it, Thor Ragnarok was playing on his flat screen, the movie neither exiting nor boring Alec and halfway through, when the storyline was just starting to pick up, Alec heard Magnus’s breathing even out, his eyes focusing on the other man’s relaxed face - his closed eyes and his parted lips made him look incredibly peaceful. Alec held Magnus as he slept, and Alec noticed that Clary, Izzy and Jace too had dozed off, the tall man raising his eyebrows kindly in Simon’s direction when the movie finally ended, feeling bad for the guy since he had picked the film.

“I liked the film” Alec whispered and caressed Magnus’s leg slowly. “It was really funny” Alec said truthfully, smiling sweetly at Simon because he could not bring himself to be mean to the guy at the moment, especially not when he was holding his sister carefully as she slept.

“You think so?” Simon asked quietly, Alec seeing his gaze fix on Izzy before his eyes met Alec’s. “I thought it would be a good film to watch but apparently it was too boring” Simon said casually and nodded at Magnus, his face kind and the corners of his lips turned upwards.

“He’s been working a lot lately, he probably would have fallen asleep irregardless of what film we watched, don’t take it personally” Alec reassured him, tracing Magnus’s patterned trousers with his finger.

“He’s so different in class” Simon confessed suddenly and Alec looked at him curiously, his eyebrows furrowing slightly, urging Simon to elaborate. “He’s very strict, his posture is always rigid, his clothes are always impeccable and he just looks like one of those people who never lets their guard down, you know?” he continued and looked down at Izzy, his finger’s twirling her long hair slowly and Alec looked down at Magnus in return, taking his limp hand in his and pressing a small kiss to his knuckles.

“Of course, that’s his job and this is his home. I get how it can be difficult to comprehend the big difference but try to think of him as two people-” Alec laughed quietly and bit his lip when Magnus stirred in his lap. “-‘put-together professor Bane’ and ‘Magnus’” Alec explained lightly, hearing Simon laugh loudly from where he was sitting.

“Hey, I’m one person who is always perfectly put together” Magnus muttered groggily and Alec could feel him move his head from his shoulder, Alec disbelievingly raising his eyebrows at him when he saw his smudged eyeshadow and his tussled hair, his shirt adorably crinkled from where he had been hunched over Alec for the past two hours.

“Okay” Alec mumbled unbelievingly and pressed a kiss to Magnus’s cheek, glancing down at his watch and sighing heavily when he realised that it was eleven. “We really need to go to bed” Alec muttered and Magus straightened his back, moving his legs awkwardly form Alec’s lap and stretching his arms upright in the process, yawning quietly as his eyes fell to Alec’s tiredly.

After about ten minutes of people waking up, they were all huddled together in Alec’s - and Magnus’s - entryway, Alec hugging each and every one of them and Magnus following suit, the taller man stepping back after a while and smiling widely at them.

“We’ll send you pictures and if you want Simon, I can record his lecture and send it to you since it’s your subject” Alec suggested causally and rubbed his neck awkwardly, feeling Magnus’s eyes burn into him as he glanced at him. “That’s okay, isn’t it?” Alec asked hurriedly and let out a reluctant laugh when Magnus gave a small nod, the pair turning synchronically to wave goodbye to the guests and half an hour later, they were in bed and ready to fly to England in the morning.

 

—————

 

Alec woke up to the sun seeping through the blinds prettily, the rays painting his bedroom a calming yellow as his eyes slowly adjusted to the brightness. Magnus was lying next to him and Alec hummed contently as he gently brought his hand up to brush a strand of hair from his forehead.

The taller man smiled sleepily at him but almost instantaneously, as Alec once again observed the bright sunlight lighting up the room, his eyes widened and his heart sped up when he remembered that they were leaving for England at 5 AM - the sun was not supposed to be up at 5 AM. Alec groggily turned to reach for his phone, groaning loudly when it ready 9.16 AM and hitting the side of the bed in frustration, sitting up quickly and bringing his left hand out to shake Magnus awake, the other man sitting up forcefully and glaring at Alec adorably, his hair a complete mess of old hair products and disheveled glitter.

“It’s past nine, Magnus” Alec said seriously and watched in horror as Magnus’s eyes widened, the other man essentially jumping out of the bed, his naked body beautiful as he ran to the bathroom to turn on the shower, his head poking out behind the en suit door adorably and his expression confusedly tired as he stared at Alec in disbelief.

“We need to get going, we need to be at our hotel at midnight British time at the very latest. If we can get on the next flight we’ll be fine” Magnus rambled and Alec followed suit, jumping out of bed and stepping into the shower with Magnus, the pair sloppily and hastily cleaning themselves before stepping out and getting dressed in the travel outfits that Magnus so ingenuously had insisted they lay out in advance - Alec was wearing a pair of dark blue skinny jeans, a navy blue sweatshirt with red piping and a pair of black Nike trainers, and Magnus was wearing a casual pair of navy blue dress trousers along with a mustard yellow and maroon patterned silk shirt and his beloved Chanel loafers. 

They looked good, Alec admitted as he observed them in his hallway mirror, Magnus’s eyes squinting as he tried to tame his wet hair, his face deprived of any moisturiser or makeup products as Alec received a text letting them know that the taxi was there.

“Alrighty, we have to go” Alec muttered under his breath as he grabbed their two large suitcases, turning his head and seeing Magnus effortlessly grab their hand luggage in return. Alec proceeded to lock the door behind them and the pair jogged down the stairs clumsily, leaping out of the building and hastily jumping into the cab as the morning sun blindingly hurt their eyes, the men sighing heavily when they could finally relax for a hot minute. Magnus was the one who volunteered to call the airline and rebook their tickets while Alec observed him closely, the taller man laughing into his hand when Magnus was informed that there were no first class seats available which almost made his somewhat overdramatic boyfriend start crying, Alec taking the phone form the upset man and finishing the conversation himself, making sure they got on the next plane irregardless of where they were seated.

Much to Alec’s surprise, however, they managed to get seats next each other which Alec tired to explain to Magnus was a miracle since the plane was due to take off in less than forty minutes, the shorter man just huffing annoyingly as he glared out the window, Alec grabbing his hand and caressing his palm slowly - they were both incredibly stressed and uncomfortably tired.

Eventually, after spending a little too long stuck in traffic, they arrived at the airport and payed the taxi driver rushingly, the pair running clumsily to self check in, through security, and to their gate, the men breathing embarrassingly heavily as they presented their passports and boarding passes to the lady working at the desk, receiving a curious look from the airport employee when they clutched at each other in order to stay upright.

“Sirs, there is limited space for hand luggage on this flight, and since you’re the last ones to board, we have to put your hand luggage through with the whole luggage, if that’s okay?” she informed them quickly, apologetically looking at them when Magnus groaned out loud, frustratingly tugging at his hair before quietly opening his bag and grabbing his makeup bag and another set of clothes, carelessly stuffing them into his handbag, or man purse or whatever noun phrase he normally used to describe it, while glaring at the poor lady angrily.

“Of course” Alec said politely and handed the bag over to a man standing to their right, biting his lip as he glanced at Magnus, reaching his arm down and grabbing the other man’s hand before tugging him to his feet, handing the employee his bag as well.

“Have a great trip” the lady behind the desk said as she handed them the receipts for their hand luggage, smiling sweetly at them as they passed her, the two men exhausted and significantly irritated both with each other and the whole situation as they slowly walked towards the plane in silence.

When they eventually found their seats, Alec closed his eyes and tried to compose his temper as he observed the non-existent legroom that was available to them, the tall man feeling a headache coming on as he realised that it would be a horrendously long and insufferable flight since both of them were abnormally tall and would be much too uncomfortable in those seats. After a few moments of shuffling around, they eventually sat down - Magnus had the window seat and Alec sat in the middle next to a cute old lady - and Alec‘s eyes closed almost instantaneously, his head falling to Magnus’s shoulder and his breathing evening out as the plane took off, his boyfriend’s soft hand caressing his knuckles gently as he fell asleep.

Some time later, Alec was awoken by the old lady poking his shoulder repeatedly, Alec glaring at her momentarily before fixing his eyes on the steward that was smiling at him sweetly, his eyes expectant as he inquired whether Alec would like some lunch or not. Alec nodded his head politely and turned to Magnus, shaking his shoulders gently and smiling sweetly at him when his head lifted up from where it rested against the window.

“Do you want lunch?” Alec whispered to him, his voice thick from sleep and his prosody uneven.

“Yes, please” Magnus said politely to the steward and rubbed at his eyes lazily. “Nut allergy” he stated and the steward nodded solemnly, carefully noting down his nutrition requirement as he smiled at them before moving on. It didn’t take very long for the food to arrive, and Alec’s stomach growled at the slightly sickly brown stew and the piece of pita bread that were presented to him, his willingness to eat the assortments indicating just how hungry he actually was. Looking down at his hands, however, and feeling his germophobia kicking in, Alec groaned to himself and reluctantly put the lid back over his food, covering it quickly before looking at Magnus who was already chowing away happily, the other man humming contently to himself as he ate in silence.

“I‘m going to wash my hands, I’ll be right back” Alec informed him and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, the other man nodding his head in acknowledgement as Alec stood up, excusing himself as he tried to get past the old lady next to him, his legs much too long for the manoeuvre to be executed smoothly. As Alec finally made it out into the isle, he sighed heavily and scowled deeply when he noticed that the queue to the bathroom was ridiculously long, the tall man rolling his eyes impatiently but nevertheless taking his place in the neatly formed line, twiddling his thumbs for about fifteen minutes before reaching the bathroom.

Alec quickly went inside and grimaced at the horrible smell that hit him, scrunching his nose in disgust as he proceeded to lather his hands, cleaning them throughly but quickly before darting out of the bathroom and shuffling his way down the crowded isle once again.

As Alec neared his and Magnus’s row, however, he stopped dead in his tracks and squinted his eyes as he heard a familiarly choked cough coming from somewhere close to him, Alec’s heart racing as it distantly reminded him of what had happened to Magnus in the lecture theatre all those weeks ago. Hurrying past the last few rows, Alec swiftly approached his seat and climbed in carelessly and admittedly rudely - the old lady didn’t seem to mind thankfully - and took a seat next to Magnus who had his head leaned back, his shoulders heaving with strained coughs and his hands gripping the armrests painfully tightly. Alec put a gentle hand to his thigh and pressed a soft kiss to his suddenly clammy cheek, earning the other man’s attention immediately as Magnus reluctantly turned his head towards Alec.

“You okay?” Alec wondered hurriedly, his hand cupping Magnus’s cheek as the other man continued coughing in an attempt to breathe properly, his lips turning into a strange shade of purplish-pink as Alec’s eyes travelled over his pale features, a concerned scowl covering his face as he continued to caress his cheek slowly. Alec felt his own breathing quicken as he looked into Magnus’s scared eyes, and when they fluttered shut for a bit too long, realisation finally hit Alec and he felt a sick sense of panic rise in his chest. “Where’s your EpiPen?” Alec asked loudly and took a hold of Magnus’s hand, his normally warm skin clammy and cold in his desperate grip. When Magnus looked at him and his eyes filled with tears, Alec’s blood ran cold and he felt himself get progressively more angry and scared. “They’re all in your hand luggage, aren’t they?” he hissed irritably and disbelievingly, his scared eyes softening the second Magnus flinched at his harsh tone, the other man nodding reluctantly as he clutched at his throat. Alec could hear his boyfriend start wheezing and the situation was progressively starting to attract the attention of the other passengers, worried voices asking between the seats if he was alright before a stewardess came rushing over, leaning over the old lady and looking worriedly at them, her expression serious.

“Is he okay?” she asked and her eyes widened when she saw Magnus’s blue lips, his closed eyes and Alec’s worried expression. “What does he need?” she asked hurriedly yet calmly.

“He needs an EpiPen” Alec said, his voice wavering as he looked at her desperately. “He needs one now, goddammit, he can’t breathe” he yelled and Alec could absentmindedly hear a small child start crying somewhere behind him but not really caring since the only thing his senses could focus on was Magnus. Alec turned to him again and touched Magnus’s face forcefully, his movement willing the other man’s eyes open momentarily, his eyes bloodshot and terrified as they burned helplessly into Alec’s, the taller man suddenly feeling tears fill his own eyes because this was serious, this was really serious and really bad.

“Attention all passengers, if anyone has an EpiPen and if there is a doctor on board, please make your way down to the bottom deck right now. We have an instance of anaphylactic shock and it is critical. Please make your way down if you have an EpiPen and if you are a doctor” a male voice boomed over the speakers and Alec felt himself start freaking out, clutching at Magnus’s face desperately as the man in front of him took fewer and fewer breaths, Alec only deferring his attention when a steward came over and placed a calming hand on Alec’s back, looking him firmly in the eye.

“Has this happened before and if so, does he not normally carry EpiPens with him, sir?” he inquired hurriedly, his voice serious but Alec could detect an indication of how serious the situation actually was in the slight tremor that graced his tone.

“Yes, and of course he normally carries EpiPens with him everywhere he goes. But he forgot them in his hand luggage because we were forced to put that damn hand luggage in the damn whole luggage compartment” Alec hissed incoherently at the man, pointing a trembling but accusing finger at him as he breathed raggedly, the old lady to his left looking worriedly in his direction.

“I understand. Can you get him out from his seat and move him to an isle seat instead to enable easier access, please” he continued professionally and Alec nodded while swallowed thickly, hearing how the steward ushered the old lady form her seat quickly. Alec clutched at Magnus’s face and felt sick to his stomach when his eyes wouldn’t open, Alec gently putting one arm under Magnus’s armpits and the other under his knees, awkwardly moving him to the isle seat and setting him down carefully, his lover’s head bobbing unnervingly to the side as Alec kneeled in the isle, continuously caressing his face as he tried to get Magnus to acknowledge him. He felt people’s eyes on him, and the other passengers were speaking in worried and high pitches voices all around as they, along with Alec, watch as Magnus’s face turned a dangerous shade of blueish-white, Alec clutching his hand and speaking to him quietly.

“You’ll be okay Mags, you hear me? You’re going to be just fine” Alec reassured raggedly, his voice desperate and scared as he finally, after a few long moments, heard numerous footsteps approaching. Alec absently felt a pair of gentle hands forcefully usher him to the side, Alec almost tipping over as he staggered further down the narrow isle, his panicked vision landing on a man and a woman kneeling by Magnus and partially shielding him from Alec’s gaze - whether they did that on purpose, Alec would never know.

Alec watched as the woman jabbed the EpiPen into his leg and his chest filled with relief for a split second, his eyes widening in contradictory anger and confusion when the man who was checking Magnus’s pulse suddenly swore loudly to himself, speaking quietly but urgently to the lady beside him. They shared a worried look and Alec watched helplessly form where he was kneeling how they grabbed Magnus and lay him down slowly on the floor, the man moving on top of Magnus’s awkwardly tall body and the lady steadily tilting his head back after awhile.

Alec realised, as black spots started appearing before his eyes, that they were preforming CPR on him because Magnus’s heart was not beating.

Alec felt his shoulders heave as he struggled to breath, the tall man fully hyperventilating for what Alec realised was the first time in his life as he watched the desperate strangers try to revive the single most important person in his entire universe, the cracking from where the man was pushing down his ribs, and the gasping from the lady trying to push air into his lungs making Alec dizzy, the rhythmic pattern disgustingly accurate as he watched his lover lie readily still on the floor of the airplane, his unstyled hair falling prettily to the floor as his limp body rocked with each movement.

_Magnus’s heart was not beating._

_Magnus’s heart was not beating._

_Magnus’s heart was not beating_ and Alec feared in chilling and heartbreaking realisation, as he watched the two strangers in front of him with hollow eyes, that it might not ever start again.


	16. Chapter 16

Alec generally thought he was decent under pressure - people who weren’t generally did not take interest in professions concerning the law - but watching Magnus lying on the floor and twisting in agony was something that brought him to his knees within mere seconds, the tall and normally well spoken man completely beside himself as he held onto Magnus’s hands for dear life, his lover’s fingers clammy and trembling in his grasp.

“Why is he in so much pain?” Alec snapped impatiently at the man - who, thank the Gods, was a doctor - currently helping Magnus along with his wife - who also, thank the Gods, was a doctor -, the medical professionals examining his abdomen and checking his pulse as Alec watched Magnus with furrowed brows, the shorter man’s closed eyes and tear stained cheeks a disturbing sight to behold. “What did you do to him?” Alec demanded desperately, painfully forcing himself to overt his eyes from Magnus and gaze hopelessly at the man who, by any standard, looked just as wrecked as Alec felt.

“In the process of performing CPR, a few of his ribs cracked. I’ve done an external examination and nothing appears to be broken but judging by the amount of pain he is in, they are cracked, unfortunately” he explained slowly and educationally but Alec - who as of late had become much more emotionally unstable than he was used to - suddenly saw red, his pulse quickening as he processed the words slowly.

“His ribs are cracked?” he hissed threateningly and twisted his face into a lopsided grimace, giving a low and dark chuckle as he stared at the two doctors with wide eyes. “Take away his pain, there must be something you can do?” Alec begged huskily, realising as Magnus groaned in agony before him that he would do anything to trade places with him.

“The stewardess is getting some over-the-counter pain relief medication but I’m afraid that aside form that, there is nothing else I can do here” he concluded apologetically and lifted Magnus’s shirt with tired hands demonstratively, Alec’s eyes widening when he saw the large bruise that was beginning to form right above his navel - the abs that Alec had marvelled at so many times before now red and sweaty.

“Oh God” Alec breathed distantly and gazed down at Magnus again from above, carefully caressing his cheek from where he was seated behind his head, the taller man’s knees uncomfortably pressed into the floor of the airplane as he bent down to give Magnus a kiss on the forehead. “You’re okay, they’re getting you some painkillers. Breathe” Alec urgently whispered into his forehead as he grabbed onto Magnus’s hand tighter, the amount of pressure Magnus in turn put into the hold indicating that he was in such agony that Alec did not even want to imagine it.

“Take our seats in first class. They are much bigger and you can recline them into a lying position, it will be much more comfortable for your husband. Please” the female doctor begged quietly and Alec did a double take - the word husband associated with Magnus making him slightly lightheaded - but decided against correcting her about their marital status since it seemed ironically trivial in the moment. Inevitably, Alec could tell that she felt terrible, along with everyone else who was unashamedly staring at them from the different seats and isles of the bottom deck as he momentarily glanced around the quiet cabin, the only sound echoing throughout the plane coming from the jet engines that powered the aircraft as they travelled across the Atlantic.

Tiredly, Alec looked at the woman and gave her a weak smile, the genuine gratefulness hopefully visible in his distraught features as he nodded his head in her direction, the movement making him slightly dizzy as the airplane cabin trembled unsettlingly.

“Thank you” he whispered in relief only to, moments later, stumbled clumsily to the side and into the armrest of a set next to him, the plane going into a deep dive and Alec watching in horror as Magnus rolled over to his side in the process, the movement making him cry out in pain, his breathing ragged and strained as the doctors before him quickly but quite sloppily tried to steady him simultaneously.

“We need to get him off the floor. Do you need help getting him to the top deck?” the doctor asked Alec, the tall man shaking his head slowly and carefully getting up on his feet while cracking his back as he looked down at Magnus, the feeling of eyes on his back evident as he took a deep breath.

“No, thank you” he said quickly and watched as the man and woman moved back and away from Magnus, Alec bending his back slightly to reach for his hand once more. “I’m getting you out of here” he muttered softly while cautiously tugging at Magnus’s ring-clad hand, his movement cut short the second the shorter man’s face twisted in affliction as he tried sitting up.

“Alec, no stop” Magnus whispered brokenly and Alec felt his heart break as he saw fresh tears build in his eyes while he shook his head vigorously.

“Oh Magnus” Alec muttered sadly and bent his knees into a a sitting position, swiftly putting his arms underneath his lover’s knees and back before carefully lifting him up and into his arms, the man heavy in his tight grip as he straightened his back with admittedly evident struggle. “Where are the seats?” Alec asked breathlessly and readjusted his grip on Magnus carefully, holding onto him for dear life as he felt his breath on his neck - it was warm and moist and while Alec was heartbroken at the ordeal, it felt incredibly nice to hold him.

“Come with me” the man said and Alec trailed after him clumsily, carefully carrying Magnus as he gasped quietly into the crook of his neck while clutching at the taller man’s shirt, Alec coldly and threateningly glaring at anyone who looked at them as they passed by row after row of concerned passengers. Eventually, as he managed after a few long moments of humorous misfortune, to help Magnus into one of the seats - which was impressively superior to the ones that they had payed for last minute -, the doctor presented Magnus with the different painkillers and the wrecked man took them reluctantly, his hands trembling as he brought the pills and the bottle of water to his mouth.

Finally, after a few minutes of Alec running back and forth between their pathetic old seats and their new ones - grabbing their bags and helping the kind doctors with their own hand luggage -, Magnus had somewhat returned to his normal self due to the weak pain medication obviously having taken the desired effect. Instantaneously, Magnus had decided to continuously glare at Alec adorably through a pair of outrageously large sunglasses that were covering his face, his entire body but the top of his face covered by a thick blue but disgusting airplane blanket and his nose scrunched in irritation as he looked at Alec.

“You’re doing it again” he mumbled form underneath the fabric, his voice soft but tired and Alec thought it was endearingly adorable.

The taller man, with his still frightened eyes only blinking when he thought they might dry out, answered him tiredly. “Whatever are you talking about?” Alec asked nonchalantly while adjusting his sitting position slightly, allowing his body to rest uncomfortably on the leather seat while his torso turned towards Magnus.

“Stop staring at me, I told you I’m fine” Magnus muttered quietly and Alec could see, despite the fact that Magnus was wearing the sunglasses and the fact that he was buried beneath the filthy blanket, that he was getting fed up with being the centre of everyone’s attention - Magnus was used to taking care of himself and Alec was almost certain that he was feeling overwhelmed, after all, who wouldn’t?

Truthfully, Alec was indeed looking, well some might argue that he was staring, at Magnus - he had been unwaveringly for the past half hour - but Alec would continue to let his hazel eyes stay dead-fast set on Magnus’s rising and falling chest, his hand in turn clutching his lover’s tightly in an attempt to ground himself in the realisation that Magnus was alive. He was alive.

“You could have died, Magnus” the taller man shot back frustratingly, feeling fear rise in his chest as he remembered the seconds before Magnus had started breathing again - the look of desperation on the man’s face as he continuously pressed down on his chest, his eyes water-filled and his forehead covered in sweat as his eyes met Alec’s, his gaze apologetic as if he were about to give up. He hadn’t given up because, moments later, Magnus’s heart had started beating again but Alec felt sick when he realised that if the timing had been slightly off, the doctor would have stopped the CPR and Magnus would, in fact, be dead. “Screw that, you did die, Magnus” Alec choked out and held onto Magnus’s hand even tighter, feeling his pulsing heart through his grip and squinting as the setting sun shone much too brightly through the small, oval shaped airplane window.

“So people keep telling me” Magnus muttered tiredly and sunk further down in his reclined seat, his hair tussled and his cheeks blotched as he bit his lip in pain, the movement, Alec realised, hurting his ribs. “But I didn’t. And that little scene got us into first class, just like we wanted. Stop complaining” Magnus urged jokingly, his voice bright but husky and Alec took a deep breath as he listened to Magnus disregard his own life.

“Little scene? This isn’t a joke, Magnus” Alec exclaimed loudly, letting go of Magnus’s hand and running his fingers through his own hair, pulling slightly at the ends in hope that the pain would distract him from saying something dumb and inappropriate. “I saw you lifeless. Dead, lifeless, unmoving on the goddamn floor of the airplane. I thought you were dead, Magnus I-“ Alec gasped and brought his hand to his chest, feeling with a sense of defeat as his eyes stung with the promise of tears as he glanced upwards. “-I just got you and I thought you were gone, so please stop joking about your own life as if it doesn’t matter” Alec whispered quietly and the stubborn tears finally fell, the man religiously wiping at the drops that continuously spilled out while he looked down at his lap and observed the dark blue jeans that Magnus had told him he looked hot in back in New York - what Alec wouldn’t do to go back and forget everything. “Your life matters to me” Alec mumbled as he felt Magnus’s hand clutch at his again, his boyfriend’s skin warm and the cold metal of his rings settling something in Alec’s chest, the tall man marvelling at the black pained fingernails as they caressed his hand slowly.

“I’m sor-“ Magnus began but Alec cut him off, his tear stained face inches away from Magnus’s and his hand moving up and removing the large sunglasses covering his face, exposing his bloodshot eyes and his dark under eye circles - Magnus could, Alec was reminded as he stared at him again, never look anything but beautiful.

“Don’t apologise” Alec breathed imperatively and brought his fingers to Magnus’s face, gently caressing his cheek softly and feeling his heart swell as Magnus leaned into his touch, his beard a scratchy but familiar sensation on his skin.

“I shouldn’t have joked about it but I just thought you’d prefer that to me telling you how scary it was” Magnus confessed breathlessly. “It was awful, Alec” he admitted heavily while observing Alec from the side, his back still firmly pressed against the black leather seat and his brows furrowed in exhaustion. Alec, shaking his head in sympathy, immediately lowered his head to Magnus’s shoulder, feeling the armrest dig into his side as he reached over to put his arm around him, pressing small kisses to his neck as he silently thanked whatever God there was that he was alright.

“You say what you think, don’t worry so much about me” Alec said quietly into his lover’s neck, Magnus’s scent filling his lungs and for the first time in what felt like years, Alec smiled and continued pressing soft kisses into Magnus’s skin, hearing the other man hum contently as Alec protectingly tightened his grip on him. “I’m so glad you’re okay” he muttered almost inaudibly. “You can’t do this again”

“I’ll try not to. Although it is admittedly of out of my control. People just seem to want me dead” Magnus said and laughed loudly but suddenly, the beautiful sound abruptly cut off by Magnus groaning in plain, his arms tightening around his chest while Alec moved back and looked at him helplessly, the shorter man’s body shuddering in agony as he winced loudly and heartbreakingly. “Shit” Magnus gasped and settled down eventually, carefully tilting his head in Alec’s direction. “It appears that laughing is off the table” he admitted through gritted teeth while offering a weak smile, his teeth white and his lips a pretty and lively pink as Alec shook his head at the man again, bringing his hand to caress his blanket covered leg comfortingly.

“We’re suing this damn airline, you hear me. There’s no way they’re getting away with this” Alec threatened irritably, staring at Magnus in sympathy while absentmindedly arranging a detailed call to his mother - she’d help him, he knew that without a shadow of a doubt, and Alec would get this sorted even if it meant involving his bastard of a father.

“No” Magnus said defensively, the prosody of his voice soft but agile and Alec let his hand fall still on his leg. “Absolutely not”

Alec did a double take and stared at Magnus in disbelief, unable to fathom why they would not sue the living crap out of the company that almost killed him, lifting his hand off Magnus’s leg and bringing it into his own lap, twiddling his thumbs as his cognitive system tried to process what the shorter man had said. “No what? No suing?” Alec questioned perplexedly, his face scrunched up in confusion.

“Yes, Alec, no suing. It was a mistake” Magnus said matter-of-factly, his face neutral but his eyes scared. “There is no reason to involve the law in this, nothing good ever comes from it” he argued softly, squeezing Alec’s leg and letting his hand rest on his thigh.

“What, why would you say that? This isn’t some petty little argument, Mags. Their staff i-“ Alec commenced and quickly glanced around, ensuring that there were no staff members in close proximity before continuing. “-their staff, the people they’ve employed, cannot do their job. This could have been, and pretty much was, lethal. Involving the law is the only way for people to take this seriously, Magnus” Alec finished in a low voice and put his hand on top of Magnus’s, intertwining their fingers and bringing them to his mouth, pressing a small kiss to the back of the shorter man’s hand. “You were lucky, but some other person might not be. This is such a basic thing, nutrition requirements and allergies should never be compromised by staff members. Unacceptable” Alec breathed angrily and realised that he was squeezing Magnus’s hand rather violently, relaxing his grip and moving his eyes to his boyfriend’s face.

“Stop” Magnus muttered and Alec watched as he closed his eyes, his right hand coming up and pinching the bridge of his nose as his lips twisted into a distorted grimace. “I get that you grew up with your parents suing people left and right but not this time. This is my battle to fight so let me fight it” Magnus demanded stubbornly.

“I don’t get why you don’t want t-“ Alec began but was interrupted by Magnus violently pulling his hand away, Alec hearing him wince slightly as his body twisted with the movement.

“No you don’t, just like with everything else. We grew up in different worlds, Alec. You grew up in privilege and I grew up being tossed around foster homes, lawyers promising to help me only to come and go and I’m sorry if the fact that I don’t want to involve them makes me naive. They never do anything but hurt everyone around them. Nobody wins” Magnus stammered out and glared at Alec desperately, his eyes bright and the light from the almost set sun shining prettily behind him - his face was tired and sad as he did his best to face Alec.

“I’m essentially a lawyer. My entire family is made up of lawyers. Don’t you realise that I want to help you, that I would fight any battle for you?” Alec asked quietly, sad at the fact that Magnus had grown up in such horrible conditions and sad that he himself had not, guilt eating away at his heart as he turned towards Magnus fully, closing the gap between the and giving Magnus a gentle hug, careful not to put pressure to his chest. “You’re family, Magnus. And despite my dad’s pathetic attempts at denying your importance, Lightwoods fight for family. They’d all fight for you” Alec muttered reassuringly into Magnus’s hair and victoriously felt how Magnus brought his hands up to return the hug, his shoulders trembling slightly and Alec realised that he had made him cry again. “Magnus” Alec whispered softly, bringing his hand up to the back of Magnus’s head while his body sprawled awkwardly on top of the shorter man’s, Alec’s tall stature humours in the relatively small space they shared together. “I’m sorr-“

“God, don’t apologise, I’m just tired and in pain. This is mortifying” Magnus croaked huskily, his voice barely above a whisper as Alec moved back and wiped a stray tear away, kissing him quickly on the mouth before sitting back in his seat and reaching for Magnus’s man purse, bringing his boyfriend’s phone out, their beloved earphone divider and both of their earphones.

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, are you kidding me. You must be exhausted though and we have about-“ Alec said as he looked at Magnus’s phone. “-two hours left so this conversation can wait till later, okay?” he whispered and handed the phone to Magnus and watched as he unlocked it - Alec would never unlock Magnus’s phone even though he new the passcode -, his boyfriend’s fingers swiftly navigating the Spotify app and plugging his earphones in. He looked at Alec and the taller man followed suit, plugging his earphones in and sitting back, resting his head against the lush seat and allowing his eyes to fall to Magnus once more, still unable to take his eyes off of him. The music that played through the device was solemn and quiet and very Magnus, the shorter man never picking music that didn’t mean something and Alec bit his lip as the lyrics started making sense to him.

_Are you alright my love?_   
_And then you ask me what I'm thinking of_   
_And I don't know how to respond_   
_Cause I just don't see the point_   
_Of speaking my mind_   
_When I know that it won't_   
_No, it won't ease yours_   
_I mean, where would I even start?_   
_Shall I tell you my deepest fears_   
_And my darkest thoughts?_   
_Is that really what you want?_

_Cause these feelings they come and go_   
_And I can't say for sure_   
_Maybe one day I'll let you know_

_But at times when I'm feeling low_   
_I doubt who I am_   
_Who you are, and what the future holds_   
_But I try not to let it show_   
_Cause I don't wanna worry you_   
_But if you could just hold me_   
_For a little while_   
_And then tell me "you'll be alright"_

Alec swallowed thickly and leaned his head on Magnus’s shoulder again, the other man opening his eyes and Alec could see that he was terrified - who wouldn’t be, dying in whatever form could not be easy and Alec had once again insensitively brought up something that provoked memories from his past. “You’re okay” Alec muttered in tune with the song and more to himself than to Magnus but felt his lover nod his head nevertheless, the acknowledgement all it took for an overwhelming sense of exhaustion to overtake Alec, his eyes dropping shut and his mouth opening as he took a deep breath.

Alec really hoped London was going to be better than this.

———-

The rest of the flight went by relatively smoothly - Alec and Magnus both spent most of the time fast asleep and while there was the occasional but non-harmful rock of turbulence, it never lasted very long. Despite the fact thar Alec’s heart had settled back to its normal rhythm after the tenth time that Magnus had reassured him that he was quite alright, the overwhelming feeling of relief as they landed was outrageously immense and Alec cracked his back triumphantly as he gazed at Magnus who was, characteristically dramatically, glaring out the window, his large sunglasses unnecessary in the dark cabin and his leg bobbling up and down as if he were restless.

“It’s raining” the restless man observed tiredly and turned his head slightly to look at Alec, the corners of his mouth twisted upwards and his lips a healthy looking pink as he pursed them in the dimly lit cabin. “Of course it’s raining” he said and laughed softly to himself, Alec watching as his gleeful expression turned to one of anguish as the damage done to his ribs made itself known yet again.

“Doesn’t it always rain in England?” Alec retorted and stood up slowly, careful not to hit his head on the ceiling before bending down and grabbing his own rucksack and Magnus’s fancy looking man purse. “It’s good to know that some stereotypes are continuously reinforced” he joked and winked down at Magnus, the other man’s eyes crinkling and Alec could see him biting his lip as if he were desperate not to provoke his cracked ribs through laughing.

“You need to stop being funny. It’s much too painful” Magnus said but giggled nevertheless, the sound strangely retorted as he chucked the blanked off himself, Alec watching as the material fell to the floor and scrunching his nose in disgust when he realised that Magnus had spend three hours buried in that poor excuse of a sanitary cloth. “Right, let’s do this” Magnus muttered and Alec observed with weary eyes how Magnus grabbed onto the seat in front of him, his muscles flexing as he slowly pulled himself out of the seat, the expression on his face doing an immensely poor job of concealing how painful it was.

“You okay?” Alec inquired softly.

“Never better” Magnus muttered ironically and straightened his back, the movement making a loud cracking noise and Alec physically winced at the disturbing sound. “Never better”

Rolling his eyes and chuckling quietly to himself, Alec reached his hand out for Magnus to take, feeling his lover’s fingers settle familiarly in his before pulling him forward. “Ragnor and Raphael are going to love this story. You and your overdramatic ass always causing a scene” Alec flirted jokingly and shamelessly moved his hand to ghost over Magnus’s butt, the shorter man gasping at the sensation and stumbling backwards slightly, his expression joyous and Alec quirked his eyebrows at him.

“You’re sinful, Alexander” Magnus gasped and looked at Alec in disbelief, his expression playful and Alec felt his heart swell at the sight. “I love you, you know” Magnus muttered

“I know and I love you too” Alec said over his shoulder, giving Magnus a small smile before carting their bags before him as he shuffled along the isle, hearing Magnus follow steadily and closely behind.

They exited the plane swiftly and Alec made sure to glare at the stewards and stewardesses extra rudely before he followed Magnus down the stairs, feeling the other passengers’ eyes on them as they made it onto the tarmac. Some people, mostly the old women, came up to Magnus once they were inside the airport and gave him a hug, Alec watching as his boyfriend returned the gesture softly and smiling fondly at them - Magnus always, irregardless of where they went, seemed to charm the older ladies. Miraculously and almost as if the universe was trying to reconcile the disastrous day, they even made it through the boarder rather swiftly - they had a special pass provided by the airline for Magnus and could therefore go through a different, and much shorter, line - and before they knew it, they were waiting at the arrivals part of Heathrow airport for Ragnor and Raphael to make a dramatic entrance.

The airport was clean and airy, the tall ceiling and white interior design lighting up the dark outside and Alec watched Magnus closely, realising that despite everything that had happened, he looked nothing but genuinely content to be in England.

“Well, well, well” a familiar and authoritative voice boomed from behind them, Alec turning on his heel quickly and giving a bright smile to the two men before him - they were both dripping wet and wearing black trench coats as they smiled back at him, looking like a pair of old-school detectives where they stood with their arms crossed in front of them. “Look what the cat dragged in” Ragnor muttered and gave Magnus a once over, his brows furrowing slightly as he took a step towards him.

“You look like death” Raphael commended dryly and Alec was surprised at the extent of the ignorant tone that radiated through his voice. Magnus just laughed at them, however, and proceeded to wince, clutching at his chest as he contained chuckling. Alec stared at them and watched as Ragnor took a step forward and brought Magnus to his chest, patting his back comfortingly while he stared at Alec with a previously unknown facial expression covering his strained features.

“What’s so funny?” Ragnor wondered and Alec distantly marvelled at how relaxed Magnus was with him, his presence instantly changing his demeanour.

“I look like death because I was dead. For a short period of time though, never fear” Magnus chucked quietly but chokingly, the other two men joining in eventually but Alec proceeded to just stand there, his brows furrowed into a deep scowl and his eyes tired as he glared at them, the tall man still not finding anything remotely funny about the situation.

“Ha ha very funny” Ragnor muttered and looked at Alec again, the taller man raising his scrunched eyebrows as Ragnor’s face twisted into an expression of horror. It was quite humours, Alec thought to himself as he licked his lips and nodded his head at them in acknowledgement. “Oh, you’re being serious” Ragnor exclaimed in realisation and moved back to stare at Magnus, his gaze concerned and his demeanour almost fatherly as he observed the man before him. “What the hell happened?” he exclaimed uncharacteristically loudly and uncontrollably, his hands coming up and cupping Magnus’s face protectingly.

“It’s a long story” Magnus muttered while swatting away Ragnor’s hands from his face, Alec, in turn, crossing his arms in front of his chest and watching in schadenfreude-like satisfaction as Magnus took a step away from Ragnor and his judgemental glare. “No need to be so overdramatic” Magnus muttered while he stared into a nothingness that appeared strange in such a crowded place, Alec trying to do the same but his eyes landing on families, the elderly, or coffee shops filling out the space that was Heathrow Terminal 5.

“Leave him be” Alec heard Raphael mutter to Ragnor and the softness in his voice appeared foreign to Alec’s ears, the prosody kind and calming as he wrapped an arm around his husband’s significantly taller stature. “Coddling him won’t work, remember 2011?” Raphael continued and Alec suddenly felt like he was eavesdropping on a personal conversation, his eyes leaving the pair before him and landing on Magnus who was wandering away from them slowly, his steps uneven and limping as Alec realised that he was heading towards one of the coffee shops.

“Hey, Mags. Wait for me” he called loudly and watched Magnus stop in his tracks. Alec jogged up to him and brought an arm around his shoulders. “Coffee?” Alec inquired and caught Magnus’s gaze, his eyes tired and his entire persona so unlike Magnus that it brought a bitter taste to Alec’s mouth. “The usual-“

“Alec, can we pretend this never happened” Magnus cut him off abruptly, his gaze desperate and Alec suddenly found it hard to breathe. “I feel-“ Magnus began and shook his head with an unreadable expression on his face. “-so embarrassed, Alexander. God” he admitted through gritted teeth and Alec, with his know-it-all natured personally, knew that this was going to come up.

“There is noth-“

“Stop” Magnus hissed and leaned into Alec’s chest somewhat contradictory. “I feel so embarrassed and I would like it if we never spoke of this again, please” Magnus mumbled and Alec could see his cheeks flush in a pretty pink as the taller man swallowed audibly, gazing around the terminal and letting his eyes land on the Costa Caffe that was staring him in the face - God he desperately needed the biggest and most bitter caffeinated beverage they served in this country.

“Fine, but-” Alec said casually and looked down at the jet black hair that was tickling his cheek softly. “-please don’t ever be embarrassed because of me. There is nothing about this, anything that’s happened to you, that you have any reason to be embarrassed about. That’s how I see it”

“Okay” Magnus stated more to himself than to Alec the taller man realised as he tightened his grip on his shoulder, the two men approaching the counter together.

“You’re the love of my life, after all” Alec whispered suddenly but softly and the look of awe that crossed Magnus’s face was both hilarious and sadly heartwarming, the tall man smiling at the barista that was eying them tiredly - it was 10.46 PM and he could understand why she looked ready to murder somebody. “Can we please have two cups of the strongest coffee you have, in the largest size possible, please” Alec said in a normal voice, the tiredness or trauma making Magnus burst out into a fit of uncharacteristically high pitched giggles, the happy man clutching at his chest as he took a step away from Alec to lean on the counter in an attempt to steady himself.

Alec joined in, well it was hardly optional, and found himself only feeling slightly sorry when Magnus could not for the life of him stop laughing despite how much it probably hurt him - laughing, Alec realised suddenly, was something that they had come to take for granted.

“Though day?” the barista asked in a generic British accent while observing the menu behind her, her eyebrows furrowing when her eyes eventually landed on Magnus’s pained yet gleeful expression - she looked a lot like Clary, Alec noted as she flung her blondish red hair back over her shoulder.

“You could say that” Magnus breathed at her through his pained giggles, the girl raising a perfectly manicured eyebrow at them before turning around and commencing their much too highly caffeinated concoctions. “Alexander” Magnus whispered after a while of giggle-filled silence, his tone light and happier than Alec had heard it in a while. “I can’t wait to show you where I grew up, thank you for coming with me. I know it didn’t star-” he said earnestly, his tone suddenly seriously and Alec looked at him from his position, his broad shoulders and his straight back relaxed as his eyes met Magnus’s - hazel and brown had never felt more in tune.

“I thought we were never speaking of the flight again?” Alec noted and twisted his eyebrows at the man who was leaning heavily agains the counter, his fingernails drumming against the clear white wooden countertop in anticipation as he lowered his gaze to the floor momentarily, his eyes travelling up and meeting Alec’s moments later. He was smiling and Alec—Alec had never loved anyone more than in that moment. ”Seriously though, I love you and I can’t wait to see where you grew up and what made you into this” Alec said and waved a flimsy hand in Magnus’s direction, his boyfriend raising his eyebrows tiredly as he continued staring at Alec.

“A tired and odorous mess of a man?” he joked lightly, the sound of the coffee machine in the background somewhat calming to Alec as he shook his head and gave Magnus an involuntary once over.

“Phenomenal, Magnus. Brilliant and phenomenal” Alec muttered and felt as his face flushed in embarrassment, the words so true and honest that it almost felt inexplicably intimate to voice them out loud at an airport.

“I love you too, Alexander” Magnus said in a strained tone, his eyes wide and he appeared surprised at the words Alec had uttered, his thumb and forefinger rubbing together nervously and Alec took a long stride to his left and wrapped his arms around Magnus’s body, the movement desperate and raw as Alec, with a lump in his throat, reluctantly thought of how differently the day could have ended.

“Here you go” the girl behind the counter suddenly exclaimed and Alec, graceful as he was, stumbled backwards and away from Magnus awkwardly, his cheeks red as he reached over for the cups that the girl was holding and smiling at her in appreciation.

“Thank you” he muttered and handed her his debit card as he lowered his gaze to the drinks, the names written on the cups promoting a loud laugh to space Alec’s lips, his chest rising and falling in tune with the fits of giggles echoing throughout the relatively empty terminal - Alec felt Magnus’s eyes on him and while the taller man was busy taking his card from the chuckling barista, he knew that Magnus was shaking his head at him endearingly.

“Have a great stay. Enjoy London” she said eventually and winked slyly in their direction, Magnus winking back and Alec giving her a small wave as they turned on their heels to leave.

“You too” he opted subjunctively and realised his mistake when Magnus grabbed his hand and forcefully tugged him away form the register, Alec watching as the shorter man had to bite his lip again to stop himself from laughing.

“I can’t take you anywhere, darling” Magnus muttered jokingly as he finally glanced at the mugs that were sat in their unsteady and pale looking paper holder. “Thing 1 and thing 2?” he commended perplexedly as he saw the names respectively scribbled on the cups, his eyes a bright and shiny brown as they met Alec’s once more - Alec would not admit this to anyone but that gaze, those eyes and the glint they always appeared to obtain, were things that he was prepared to fight to the ends of the world for. “I’m thing 1” Magnus said and grabbed the resounding cup from its holder, waving a hand at Ragnor and Raphael who were standing very statue-like in the middle of the arrivals area and Alec followed suit, grabbing his cup and observing the men before them with tired eyes - they looked a bit scary, Alec noted as Raphael glared at them observingly.

 

———-

 

They made it to the hotel relatively quickly for London standards and Magnus was starting to see double, the weight of his eyelids almost unbearable as Raphael finally pulled up in front of the Dorchester front entrance just as the clock was about to hit midnight.

The Dorchester, a hotel closely located to the city centre, adjacent to the fantastical Hyde Park, and not far from Ragnor and Raphael’s town apartment, was incredibly nice and accommodating and while Magnus felt more dead than alive - which was slightly ironic - he couldn’t help but feel that burning feeling in his chest when he heard Alec gasp next to him in the backseat. Alec had been truly fantastic and despite how annoyed Magnus pretended to be with his constant staring and worrying glances, it did feel nice to be cared for so immensely by a person again, and it was a breath of fresh air to realise that his own feelings for the other man were reciprocated - Alec was never incredibly vocal about how much Magnus meant to him but his actions spoke much louder than any words ever could, and Magnus thought, however narcissistic it may be, that after all his struggling and heartbreak that he deserved this, he deserved to be happy.

“Magnus, this hotel is amazing. Look at all the flowers” Alec exclaimed surprisingly excitedly next to him and Magnus moved his head slowly to look at the other man, the navy sweater he was wearing crinkled, his hair tussled and his face slightly blotchy as he stared out the window of Raphael’s ridiculously nice car for a few more moments before twisting his head and smiling at Magnus.

“I thought you might like it” Magnus whispered slowly, his voice hoarsely weak and he closed his eyes momentarily in defeat, taking a deep breath and wincing at the excruciating pain that shot through his chest at the inhale - the pain medication was obviously wearing off.

“Get out” Raphael muttered from the driver’s seat. “We both have work in the morning and you’re both killing our beauty sleep. Shoo shoo” he continued dramatically and Magnus rolled his eyes before bracing himself, sloppily grabbing the door handle and opening it slowly, minutely twisting his body as the pain once again shot through his entire body, his muscles contracting and his teeth gritting as he felt burning tears sting his eyes.

“Shut up, Raph” he whined and as he was about to try again, he felt a familiar pair of strong arms wrap around his back and underneath his knees, Alexander’s muscles visibly contracting as he essentially lifted Magnus out of the car and set him down on the pavement. Magnus’s own lack of mobility was horrifyingly mortifying, and he purposefully avoided Alec’s worried gaze as a hotel employee came over to retrieve their luggage, the calming hand that was resting on his back admittedly grounding as the pain finally subsided when they started walking towards the entrance - Magnus put his hand up and lifted his middle finger in Raphael and Ragnor’s direction, hearing a window roll down and a kind voice calling after them. “We love you” and Magnus smiled to himself because he loved them too, dearly and forever.

Irregardless of Magnus’s unavoidable state of near collapse, however, he had an impeccable eye for and could appreciate elegance when he saw it and this hotel was the embodiment of it - the ceilings high and prettily decorated, the floors polished so vigorously that Magnus could see his own reflection in their tiles, and the chandeliers and flower arrangements filling out the rooms beautifully magical as they lit up the nighttime darkness.

The elevator that was leading them to the top floor was similarly elegant and every so often Magnus would let his eyes travel to Alec's beautiful face, his tired eyes watching as the taller man talked kindly to the staff member who was helping them with their luggage and escorting them to their suite. The suite, or loft apartment however one decided to describe it, was impeccably inviting and Magnus could not tell if the rooms looked better in person because he was half asleep or because the pictures had not, in fact, done them justice. The beige carpeted floors, the white walls, the white bed, the large mirrors and the pretty paintings, the pale pink sofa, the large TV and the en suite bathroom perfectly coordinated and Magnus felt, for the first time since they had left New York, a sense of peace and serenity - he was finally in London with his Alexander.

“Magnus” Alec said when the kind member of staff had said his goodbyes. “I’m going to find a drugstore and get some pain killers, okay?” he continued and Magnus once again felt his eyes sting with unshed tears, Alexander’s kindness overwhelming in his tired state and naturally Magnus just nodded his head at him, unable to from any words in English that would enable him to express how grateful he was to have him.

Therefore, not before long, Magnus was left by himself in their large suite, the white walls hallucinatingly moving in on him as he felt a sudden but intense sense of fear rise in his chest. Magnus had been standing in one spot since they entered the room, his feet dead set on never leaving the middle of the floor and he could feel the horrible feeling of a panic attack coming his way - he had almost died that day, Alec had been right, and while Magnus once had desired to take his own life, he now wanted nothing more than to live.

He shook his head in an attempt to calm down and rolled back his shoulders, swallowing thickly as he felty a wave of nausea crawl its way up his throat, the sensation disgustingly familiar and Magnus realised that they must have used an EpiPen on him, and that he should have asked Alec to purchase some Emetrol for the nausea since throwing up with broken ribs seemed nightmarishly disturbing.

Biting his lip so hard that he tasted blood, Magnus kicked off his loafers and went to sit on the bed, the soft mattress inviting and Magnus let his body fall back onto the soft material, his eyes shutting quickly and he was probably asleep within minutes, if not seconds.

The sensation of a gentle hand stroking his cheek brought Magnus back to reality, the touch familiar and without realising it, Magnus leaned into it and smelled Alexander’s perfume on his wrist - he knew that Alec found his smell intoxicating but little did the tall man know that his own smell brought Magnus to his knees more often than it did not.

“Hey” Magnus croaked out and gave Alec a poor excuse of a smile as he blinked up at him, Alec’s smiling face helping with both the nausea and the aching in his chest. “Thank you” Magnus muttered and nodded his head at the door from where he was laying, looking up at Alec in love and wonder - how Magnus managed to get Alexander was still miraculously surreal to him.

“My pleasure. Here-” Alec said softly and lifted a white bag and put it beside Magnus on the bed, Magnus shutting his eyes momentarily before pathetically slowly raising himself into a sitting position with the help of Alec’s strong hand on his back. “-Ibuprofen, Paracetamol, Volta-gel, this-“ Alec mumbled and Magnus could not for the life of him stop the grin that spread across his face at the perplexedly adorable expression covering his lover’s features. “-ice pack, I think. I thought we could put it in the freezer and you could sleep with it on the bruising” he trialed off and smiled sheepishly into the white bag, Magnus reaching over and caressing his cheek slowly, the gesture loving and Magnus literally felt his heart skip a beat. “Oh and I got this thing called Emetrol. Apparently it’s good for nausea since the last time you used the EpiPen you were sick for like three days so I thought you might need it. I know you haven’t said that you’re not feeling well, and that I’m probably overdo-“ Magnus, with a wide smile on his face and bright eyes, could not listen to Alec rambling on and on any longer, the shorter man gently lowering his hand from Alec’s cheek to his mouth and extending a gentle finger over his lips, watching endearingly how Alec went crossed eyed as he looked down at his hand.

“How I love you, Alexander Lightwood. Thank you, I-“ Magnus stopped and sucked in a painful but deep breath before dropping his hand into his own lap and furrowing his brows at Alec. “-thank you, Alexander. You never cease to amaze me” he whispered and felt himself being pulled into a hug, Alec’s strong arms comforting as he in turn reached up to return the gesture - it was awkward and slightly painful but when Magnus, after a while, felt Alec tighten his grip on him, his shaking shoulders and the wetness that tricked down Magnus’s back, the shorter man realised that Alec might be forever. “Shh, I’m okay” Magnus soothed softly, patting Alec’s back as the taller man so uncharacteristically brokenly cried into his shoulder.

He cared immensely about Magnus and Magnus cared so incredulously immensely about him in return, and while the tears that Alec was shedding made Magnus’s heart swell painfully, he suddenly felt a familiar sensation of fear because in Alec, his ways and his wonderful kindness, he had something to live for - he had something to live for which meant that he now also had something to lose.

This trip, Magnus thought to himself as he continuously patted the distraught man on the back, was going to take Alec's breath away, he was going to make sure of it because Magnus was going to give Alec all of him - all of his past, present and future - because he loved him and he had never trusted anyone more than he trusted Alec.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are You Alright? by Ulrik Munther.
> 
> By the way, London’s a very romantic city, I wonder what Alec and Magnus will get up to?


	17. Chapter 17

Alec was sitting with his back pressed up against the luxurious headboard of the king seized bed with Magnus’s head resting heavily in his lap, his normally awkward fingers combing through the shorter man’s tussled hair slowly as he watched the rays of the morning sun shine through the still widely open curtains.

Alec had not slept that night, and neither had Magnus, the two men having comforted each other as the events of the day before slowly but quite crushingly overwhelmed them apprehensively at first and then, suddenly, all at once - the relief of being alive and the fear of what could have been impressively difficult to comprehend. Alec was admittedly appalled at his own emotions, at how completely and heartbreakingly his facade of adrenaline had cracked as he returned from the drugstore and Magnus, who had been in excruciating pain throughout the night, had eventually had enough too, letting his emotions get the best of him as he in turn gave up in the earlier hours of the morning, crying out in agony as he was reminded of the incident every time he moved, talked and breathed.

Needless to say, the night had been rough but as the darkness of the night lifted, so did their sorrows, the sunlight that graced their skin beautiful and comforting and Alec smiled softly to himself, tracing his cold fingers across Magnus’s bare back as the other man scrolled through Spotify with an unimpressed scowl on his face.

“Maybe we should try to get some sleep after all” Magnus reasoned after a few moments of silence, his voice low and tired as he leaned his head back to look up at Alec. The taller man smiled sweetly at him and bent down to capture his lips in a small kiss, triumphantly hearing Magnus make a noise of contentment before moving back and resting his nose to Magnus’s, watching in wonder how his boyfriend’s eyes crinkled happily - after the night they had experienced, that look meant everything to Alec.

“Yeah” Alec whispered slowly and yawned softly while sitting back, carefully resting his hand on Magnus’s back once more as he settled against the bed again, slowly shuffling down into a significantly more slouched position to be closer to Magnus. “I’m literally seeing double” Alec joked and felt Magnus nuzzle his nose into the duvet that was covering their legs, his slim and warm fingers gracing Alec’s pyjama clad legs as he pressed play and a soft melody commenced playing through his phone. “Not that I’m complaining” Alec muttered and proceeded to lay down on his side next to Magnus, pursing his lips slightly while observing him through his eyelashes.

Magnus looked tired where he was laying on his back, Alec was not going to lie, but he looked stunning - his black hair was covering his forehead, his skin was bare of anything but moisturiser and he looked raw and trusting - and Alec, virtually compulsively, brought his hand to the man’s face and traced his tanned skin carefully with his fingers.

“You’re making me blush, Alexander” Magnus mumbled and Alec could indeed see a pink tint absorb his features, the chemical reaction filling Alec with a sense of accomplishment because he had once again succeeded at making the brilliant Magnus Bane blush. “I love you” Magnus whispered and looked into Alec’s eyes, his gaze intense and vulnerable and Alec had to avert his eyes almost immediately, blinking rapidly to stop yet another wave of tears from overwhelming him before letting his gaze focus on Magnus again.

‘I love you too” he mumbled and leaned forward to kiss Magnus sloppily on the mouth again, the shorter man’s lips slightly chapped as he leaned into the kiss - it was slow and gentle and Alec, suddenly and intoxicatingly, was once again mesmerised by Magnus’s scent. As Alec eventually pulled back and hummed contently, his movement was cut short by Magnus’s hand resting against the back of his neck, holding him firmly in place a few inches away from his face. Alec looked down at him and almost instantaneously, as he felt Magnus breathe him in, the air was knocked out of his lungs and he found it incredibly hard to breathe. “You okay?” Alec wondered breathlessly as he felt Magnus’s grip on him tighten, his painted fingernails digging into the nape of his neck as Alec watched his eyes fall shut momentarily, Magnus’s brows furrowed and his lips formed into a tight line as he took a deep breath.

“Yeah” Magnus eventually answered and opened his eyes, the brows irises a bit too bright and glossy for Alec to fully believe him. “Yeah” he muttered and Alec saw, as the instrumental song in the background stopped and progressed onto the following tune, how his eyes welled up with tears, his gaze falling from Alec’s face.

“Okay, good” Alec whispered and shifted his weight to his left elbow, propping himself up and bringing the other hand to wipe a stray tear from Magnus’s cheek. “But it would be just as okay if you weren’t” Alec reasoned softly and felt Magnus loosen the grip on his neck, his hand falling to Alec’s back as the shorter man shook his head slowly.

“I know” Magnus mumbled almost inaudibly and Alec felt his hand move to his bicep, the movement unsure and familiarly gentle.

“Especially when you’re with me” Alec commenced and lay himself down beside Magnus again, pressing a small kiss to his shoulder as the taller man inhaled deeply, breathing the other man in completely. “You’ll always be the strongest person I know, whether you’re okay or not” Alec confessed and brought an arm over and across Magnus’s chest, tugging the duvet further up over them and settling his head down carefully on the shorter man’s collarbone.

“Okay” Magnus whispered and Alec felt the other man’s chest tremble below his cheek, the sensation raw and heartbreaking and while the tiredness currently overtaking Alec was painfully unbearable, he pressed on.

“And it’s okay to be scared, you know” he whispered slowly into Magnus’s chest and saw how his breath created goosebumps on his normally smooth skin. “I’m scared too, after what happened” Alec mumbled chokingly, his throat contracting slightly at the truthfulness of the words. “I’m scared too but you’re okay, I’m okay-” he continued quietly. “-we’re okay” Alec concluded tentatively and felt Magnus’s hand grab onto his own wrist tightly, the moment hastily and uncharacteristically uncoordinated and Alec let him hold on to him for dear life because he knew that if the roles were reversed, Magnus would have let him do the same. “Can I have your phone?” Alec wondered slowly and watched as Magnus lifted his left hand to Alec, handing him his phone while unlocking it with his thumb in the process.

Alec accepted the phone immediately, opening Spotify and going to Magnus’s wide variety of playlists, objectively searching for the one labelled ‘late night’- a playlist containing all the songs they had ever listened to in the dead of night for whatever reason, the songs ranging from Skinny Love to I Love Rock’N’Roll and it only expanded, Magnus religiously adding every single song they listened to as if his life depended on it. After a few moments of scrolling, Alec successfully found the song that Magnus had sung to him on a particularly bad night after the incident with Alec’s father many months ago, the taller man pressing play and physically feeling Magnus recognising the song after its very first beat

_Hands, put your empty hands in mine_   
_And scars, show me all the scars you hide_   
_And hey, if your wings are broken_   
_Please take mine so yours can open too_   
_'Cause I'm gonna stand by you_

As the words continued being sung, and as the melody continued echoing throughout the large and unsettlingly quiet suite, Alec felt Magnus’s grip on his wrist loosen and his head twist slightly to rest on top of Alec’s, his breath hot and uneven against the top of his head.

_Oh, tears make kaleidoscopes in your eyes_   
_And hurt, I know you're hurting, but so am I_   
_And love, if your wings are broken_   
_Borrow mine so yours can open too_   
_'Cause I'm gonna stand by you_

_Even if we're breaking down, we can find a way to break through_   
_Even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through hell with you_   
_Love, you're not alone, 'cause I'm gonna stand by you_   
_Even if we can't find heaven, I'm gonna stand by you_   
_Even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through hell with you_   
_Love, you're not alone, 'cause I'm gonna stand by you_

_Yeah, you're all I never knew I needed_   
_And the heart, sometimes it's unclear why it's beating_   
_And love, if your wings are broken_   
_We can brave through those emotions too_   
_'Cause I'm gonna stand by you_   
_Oh, truth, I guess truth is what you believe in_   
_And faith, I think faith is helping to reason_   
_No, no, no, love, if your wings are broken_   
_Borrow mine so yours can open too_   
_'Cause I'm gonna stand by you_

_I'll be your eyes when yours can't shine_   
_I'll be your arms, I'll be your steady satellite_   
_And when you can't rise, well, I'll cry with you on hands and knees_   
_'Cause I_   
_I'm gonna stand by you_

When the song finished only to recursively restart itself again, Alec felt Magnus cry against his hair, his tears wet and plentiful as they fell and trickled down Alec’s scalp. Alec bit his lip as he heard Magnus’s sniffles turn into louder cries, his chest rising and falling and Alec automatically held onto the ice pack that was bobbling with every inhale and exhale on the shorter man’s chest, pressing it down slowly to ease the pain his lover’s cries probably caused him. Alec stayed quiet though, knowing that the other man needed to cry by himself and for himself, sobbing in fear, defeat, tiredness, and pain while resting on Alec and knowing that he was there and that he was not going anywhere.

Eventually, as the song played for what Alec reckoned might have been the fifteenth time, Magnus’s breathing evened out and Alec realised that he had cried himself to sleep, the shorter man snoring adorably against Alec’s damp hair. Alec, in turn, finally let his own eyes fall shut, exhaustion overwhelming him as the sun blindingly bothered his eyes where it shone so prettily through the large windows, his cold hand letting go of the ice pack and resting on top of the duvet instead, absentmindedly hoping that Magnus knew that he was there with him in whatever dream he hopefully dreamed.

 

———

 

Blinking awake at the strange feeling of an unfamiliar hand shaking him awake, Alec opened his eyes slowly and looked around perplexedly, his eyes landing on Ragnor’s concerned face inches away from his own - how the British man had entered their hotel room and seated himself on their bed while they were sleeping was self-explanatorily beyond Alec’s understanding.

“What the hell, Ragnor?” Alec breathed irritably and slowly detangled himself form Magnus who still appeared to be sleeping, his head bobbling seemingly uncomfortably to his shoulder as Alec moved his head away from its position on Magnus’s collarbone.

“Is that how you address your elders in America, Alexander?” he wondered ironically but Alec thought he looked worn out, his normally rigid posture sloppy and his face scrunched in what Alec assumed might be exhaustion or worry. “How is he doing?” Ragnor muttered quietly while gesturing to Magnus and Alec shook his head slowly, turning to look more closely at the sleeping man who looked relatively peaceful, his cheeks still damp from earlier and Alec realised that, realistically, not much time could have passed since they eventually had fallen asleep.

“He’s in a lot of pain, I think he should probably see a doctor” Alec whispered and looked at Ragnor with weary eyes, the other man’s dark brow irises burning into his own with a fiery passion Alec appreciated tremendously, it feeling important to know that someone other than Alec was prepared to fight to the ends of the world for Magnus. “Is there an emerge-“

“Lucky for you, my dear, I have already thought of this. My friend John, a doctor who owes me one for something which is besides the point, is coming over in a few minutes” Ragnor said and patted Alec’s knee softly while never taking his eyes off Magnus. Ragnor looked like he was heading to work, he was wearing an expensive looking black suit, a dark green and red patterned button up with a matching tie, his attire formal and professional and Alec suddenly felt self conscious sitting in front of the man with nothing but a pair of Magnus’s silk pyjama bottoms covering his body. “How are you holding up?” Ragnor asked suddenly, Alec furrowing his brows while rattling his brain in an attempt to figure out what his own well-being had anything to do with the situation.

“I’m fine” Alec said quickly, swallowing slowly while lifting the duvet off himself and setting his feet down on the carpeted floor, feeling the fabric beneath his feat as he quickly padded over to his suitcase, sloppily rummaging through his clothes before finding a simple and plain T-shirt and tugging it over his head. He felt incredibly vulnerable as the object of Ragnor’s psychiatrist glance, and Alec felt his heart speed up when he heard Ragnor approach him, his shoe-clad feet walking soundlessly over to where Alec was standing and pulling the confused man into a tight hug.

Alec stood frozen for a moment, slightly uncomfortable in the other man’s embrace but eventually let himself melt into the hug, bringing his arms around Ragnor’s shoulders and leaning his head on top of the shorter man’s in defeat. It did feel nice, Alec was hardly in the right state of mind to lie to himself.

“He’s lucky to have you, you know” Ragnor murmured into Alec’s neck, the taller man blinking rapidly as Ragnor caressed his back slowly, the gesture incredibly comforting and Alec heard himself gasp quietly into the other man’s shoulder, pressing his lips shut and breathing in deeply through his nose.

“I’m lucky to have him, too” Alec confessed chokingly and smiled softy when Ragnor laughed quietly into his neck.

“Damn right you are, and don’t you forget it” he whispered and took a step back, bringing his hand up and cupping Alec’s cheek with his slightly cold fingers, the gesture unfamiliar to Alec since the only other person who ever did that was Magnus. “I trust you, I don’t know why but I do” Ragnor confessed somewhat tiredly and took yet another step away from Alec, glancing up at him through his eyelashes and quirking his eyebrows at him. “Now-” he exclaimed suddenly, turning on his heel and marching towards the bed and yanking the duvet off Magnus’s sleeping form. “-good morning, good morning” Ragnor sang loudly and Alec could not hold back the laugh that escaped his lungs when Magnus groaned loudly on the bed, yelping helplessly as Ragnor picked him up and put him down carefully yet unsteadily on the floor. “Look, everyone’s up” he said happily and Alec watched in amusement how Magnus hit him relatively violently on the shoulder.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Magnus yelled loudly and his voice cracked in the process, his eyes wide and his bruised chest visible for everyone in the room to see. “Do answer me because I’m genuinely concerned about your mental health” Magnus spat angrily and stormed over to where Alec was standing, gaping at him exhaustedly and Alec looked at him blankly, bending down and picking up one of his own shirts before handing it to Magnus slowly, laughing quietly to himself when Magnus angrily but quite adorably tried to put the shirt on without moving his arms too much. “Do you not have anywhere else to be?” Magnus muttered as he spun around to face Ragnor once more, his posture noticeably strained as he took a few steps towards the uninvited guest.

“John is coming over to examine you. I’m not letting you waltz around London doing God knows what before we know what those bloody incompetent idiots on the plane did to you, capici?” Ragnor retorted angrily and Alec widened his eyes at the pair, their relationship still admittedly curious to him even after having observed it from the sidelines for four consecutive weeks in New York.

“I’m not a child, Ragnor” Magnus shot back and took yet another step towards the older man, his voice surprisingly low and threatening.

“Could have fooled me” Ragnor breathed slowly, Alec watching as the man pinched the bridge of his nose before letting his eyes fall on Alec, the taller man gulping loudly while blinking confusedly at them.

Alec decided there and then that he needed to leave them to it, not feeling like coming between two stubborn and sleep deprived men who clearly were not in their right mindsets to converse like normal adults - the tall man therefore picked up the keys to their hotel room, grabbed his shoes, and quickly exied the room as the verbal fight continued, venturing down the hallway in dire need of a large cup of scalding hot coffee.

 

————

 

“So you’re telling me that he gave you drugs. Actual drugs?” Alec commented through the water that was running down his face, the shower-head inches above his head in the luxurious and spacious shower.

“He gave me tablets containing a small dosage of morphine” Magnus corrected as Alec massaged the shampoo into his hair slowly, making sure to take his time since Magnus was leaning into the touch so familiarly and comfortably that Alec did not, quite frankly, have the nerve to stop. “It’s not drugs, don’t you worry darling” Magnus whispered and Alec gave him a pointedly confused look, the smile covering his face never faltering as he continued massaging Magnus’s scalp carefully.

“I heard something about pneumonia when I came back, did you contract the virus from the filthy floor of the airplane?” Alec asked worriedly, lathering his hands up with body wash instead and naturally washing Magnus’s body like they had done so many times before, feeling the other man do the same and closing his eyes at the feeling of Magnus’s hands on his chest.

“I don’t have pneumonia, Alexander” Magnus said and laughed softly, his tone bright and significantly happier than Alec had ever heard it since they left New York. “But because my ribs are cracked in multiple places, it’s terribly painful to breathe, as you know. Therefore I, and I quote ‘am not breathing properly’ and the mucus in my lungs can thus not clear out which can, in some case scenarios, lead to a possible outcome in which I contract pneumonia, yes” Magnus finished and grabbed Alec by the shoulders, turning him around and stepping into the stream of comfortingly hot water himself, Alec watching as he rinsed his hair slowly, the taller man feeling a familiar sense of fear rise in his chest at the undesirable but plausible outcome.

“So, you’re okay? Did he prescribe the painkillers so you could breathe more thoroughly?” Alec wondered naively and received a pointed look from Magnus, his lover’s dark hair flat against his head as he glared endearingly at Alec through the water.

“Yes I’m quite alright, Alexander. And exactly, he prescribed the stronger pain medication so I can breathe without feeling like my entire chest is being stabbed at by tiny knives. I take the prescribed tablets three times a day, we need to spend a lot of time walking but not exercising, and every hour I need to inhale and exhale deeply ten times” Magnus said and gestured with his hands creatively, Alec already noticing that his movements were much less constrained and much more extravagant and Magnus-like. “Oh and John specifically said no sex until I can go a day without needing the stronger pain medication” Magnus muttered and pouted adorably, Alec moving his head forward and capturing his lips with his own, the water making the kiss significantly more sloppy that originally intended.

“Then we should probably stop showering together” Alec said against his lips and brought his arms around Magnus’s shoulders, bringing him into a tight hug and feeling Magnus press a kiss to the side of his neck, Alec feeling the shorter man shiver as he wrapped his arms around Alec’s waist, pulling him closer. Alec felt himself gasp at the friction it caused, shamelessly letting his head fall to Magnus’s shoulder as the water continued trickling down his spine.

“That’s a shame, I happen to enjoy taking showers” Magnus said and kissed Alec passionately on the mouth, the sensation enough to let a moan slip out of Alec’s mouth. “With you” Magnus added breathlessly and Alec heard him chuckle against his lips, the sound soft and comforting and Alec brought a hand up to Magnus’s cheek, caressing the wet skin softly while laughing quietly to himself.

“I’ve been thinking-“ Alec began and the prosody of his voice appeared to catch Magnus’s attention immediately, the shorter man taking a small step back and gazing up at Alec through his dripping bangs. “-how would you feel about helping me buy a few new pieces of clothing? Izzy has bought most of my decent things and I-” Alec stopped to take a deep breath and gave Magnus’s naked body a once over, parting his lips in awe at how beautiful he was. “-I want to look good next to you, in things that I enjoy wearing. You always look stunning and I guess I want to st-“ Alec rambled and let his gaze fall to the tiled floor, the silence that followed heavy but comfortable.

“Alexander-” Magnus began, his voice was soft and gentle and Alec looked at him again, his eyes strikingly bright in the light from the spotlights attached to the ceiling. “-you look beautiful to me. In whatever you wear. You could never look anything but handsome, darling” Magnus breathed rather huskily and Alec watched him lick his lips slowly, the movement intimately intoxicating. “But of course I’ll help you if you want. We can go to a few shops today before our dinner reservation at seven?”

Alec nodded and brought Magnus into yet another hug, bringing a heavy hand up to caress the nape of his neck. “How are you feeling?”

“Honestly?” Magnus breathed interrogatively into the hug and Alec held on to him tighter.

“Always” Alec reassured softly and pulled back slightly, squinting to prevent the water from distorting his vision as he observed the man before him.

“I feel scared, tired, uncomfortably nauseated” Magnus muttered, his eyebrows furrowed as he looked up at Alec with a small smile. “But none of that matters since I’m here with you” he said happily and kissed Alec quickly on the cheek before turning off the water and reaching for the bathrobes that were hanging by the shower. “We really should hurry up though. London is not merciful and if you want to go shopping you better be prepared to elbow your way through crowds of overly eager tourists”.

 

————

 

Alec was impressively unimpressed at how ridiculously crowded the London Underground stations were, and he was furthermore positive that he was going to lose Magnus at some point only to never find him again - Magnus had not been kidding about the crowds of people nor their ruthless elbows. To his own ears, such vastly childish fears sounded pathetic, but as Alec held onto Magnus’s hand for dear life as the shorter man pushed them through crowds of commuters returning home for the day and loud tourists, Alec realised that his concerns were valid.

Admittedly, tracing after Magnus like a lost puppy had its perks - Magnus was wearing a pair of ridiculously tight dress trousers and an impossibly tight short-sleeved button up with the bracelet that Alec had bought him wrapped prettily around his exposed wrist - and Alec would shamelessly stare at his boyfriend’s behind, his gaze travelling over his body every time Magnus would turn around to check on him, the shorter man’s eyes humorous as he realised what Alec was doing. Alec did not care however, Magnus had spend the entire day watching Alec strip in every changing room in London it seemed, and while Alec felt flattered at the attention, it only seemed fair that Alec was allowed to look as well especially since he was the one carrying all the shopping - his own and Magnus’s.

After a disconcertingly long while of traveling further into the ground, the two men eventually rounded a corner and Alec was startled when a dangerously fast train whooshed in, making him jump back slightly and into some innocent girl, essentially trampling her with his 6’4 clumsy excuse of a man. “I’m so sorry” Alec breathed but before he could actually turn around, Magnus was once again tugging at his hand and before he knew it, he was pressed up against Magnus’s chest inside what Alec assumed was an illegally crowded train carriage.

He had no problem being pressed up against Magnus, but when he felt a man stumble into his back and an unfamiliar and disturbingly weird-smelling breath trickle his neck, Alec scrunched his noise in disgust and bit his lip to suppress a gag.

“Yeah, being a germophobe in London is tuff” Magnus whispered and it took everything Alec had not to lean forward and capture his lips with his own, his coal lined eyes and his soft lips mocking him where they stood mere centimetres apart. “You’ll be fine, Alexander. We’re almost there” Magnus breathed somewhat degradingly and gave Alec a quick kiss on the cheek, the gesture admittedly noticed by some people around them but Alec could not care less, it was 2018 and legally he and Magnus had the right to love openly.

The rest of the tube ride was just as horrendously disgusting, the carriage smelling of sweat and cigarettes and when the two men finally got off at the seemingly empty Embankment station, Alec felt a shiver run down his spine as he reached for the hand sanitiser that was sitting in his pocket.

“This is not sanitary, Magnus” Alec muttered as Magnus grabbed onto his arm, linking their elbows together as they made their way upwards and hopefully outside. When they eventually exited, however, Alec was truck with how inexplicably pretty everything looked - the river Thames, the flowers, the fairly lights and the blooming trees painting a picture Alec wished he could remember forever - and when his eyes eventually landed on Magnus and his brilliant smile, Alec literally felt the air being knocked out of his lungs as he tugged the shorter man to his side, bringing an arm around his shoulders when they walked over to the zebra crossing that would give them access to the sidewalk. “This is absolutely stunning” Alec breathed.

“It is, isn’t it” Magnus agreed and continued leading the way, Alec’s eyes distractedly taking in everything around him, the smell of fresh flowers and green trees a nice contrast to the dull smell of the underground. “Look” Magnus exclaimed after a while, lifting his hand and pointing a finger at a large building in front of them. “This is the House of Commons and the House of Lords” he said and looked at Alec excitedly, his enthusiasm contagious and Alec felt himself smile. “I’ve actually done research there for an older project on gender stereotypes and language in law. It was very interesting, actually” Magnus explained and Alec nodded his head, indicating that he was listening as his eyes landed on the armed policemen and military personnel that were guarding the outskirts of the building, their weapons large and seemingly heavy and Alec suddenly felt unsettled in the pretty garden that they were strolling through. “That-” Magnus voice brought him back to reality. “-is B-“

“-Big Ben” Alec interrupted and lovingly rolled his eyes at Magnus, the shorter man raising one eyebrow at him in return as the corners of his lips twisted downwards into an impressed expression. “I’ve seen moves before, Mags” he winked and Magnus laughed loudly, the grin covering his face brilliant and bright in the burning hot evening sun, their bare arms brushing against each other as they walked.

“Over there-“ Magnus continued and pointed another ring clad finger in a different direction when they walked away from Parliament and approached a crowded bridge, Alec’s eyes landing on the London Eye that was sitting prettily between clusters of trees on the other side of the river.

“-the London Eye” Alec finished and marvelled at how big it actually was, the see-through glass globes travelling around in circles much too high in the air for Alec’s liking. “What’s that?” Alec inquired as his eyes landed on a curiously shaped building that seemingly towered over everything else, its pointed top getting lost in the sky as it stretched impressively high off the ground.

“That’s the Shard, it’s supposedly the tallest building in Europe. Granted they say that but its height is sometimes not measured correctly due to its pointed tip” Magnus said casually and Alec then remembered that his boyfriend had the luxury of having an eidetic memory, explaining why such unnecessary information was stored so accessibly in his mind. “It’s adjacent to London Bridge, we can walk over there later if you want?” Magnus suggested as they crossed the bridge hand in hand, Alec’s eyes falling to the brownish-yellow water blow them before landing on Magnus’s expectant face.

“I’d love that” Alec said and brought Magnus’s hand to his lips and pressed a soft kiss to his knuckles, absentmindedly wondering how it felt for Magnus to re-remember all these sights with somebody like Alec, somebody who had never been there before.

As it turned out, Magnus loved re-remembering everything, happily recalling every bit of London history he had ever heard as they passed all types of sights or monuments and while Alec had subconsciously stopped paying attention to the actual words that were continuously flowing out of Magnus’s mouth, he’d never once taken his eyes off the man himself. He looked so peaceful and comfortable, his hands gesturing dramatically and Alec was struck by how extraordinary Magnus actually was - he was knowledgable, fashionable, kind, fearless, and intelligent and Alec actually pinched the inside of his wrist to reassure himself that it was, in fact, not a cruel dream.

Eventually, when the shorter man’s voice started giving out after three hours of walking and when Alec’s Nike shoes started rubbing him in strange places, Magnus pointed a tired finger in the direction of an impressive building with a rooftop terrace situated right by the river, twinkling fairly lights and candles burning prettily in the setting sun.

“We’re here, OXO Tower Brasserie” Magnus said happily and stopped abruptly in his tracks, Alec walking into him as the shorter man turned around and brought Alec to his chest slowly, resting his head on Alec’s shoulder and breathing in deeply. “We’ve been walking around and you’ve just listened. Truthfully, no one’s listened to me ramble on for hours about useless trivia information before without complaining the whole time. So thank you, Alexander. For listening, I guess” he mumbled into Alec’s T-shirt and Alec dropped some of the shopping bags to the ground in order to bring his arms around Magnus’s back.

“I enjoyed every minute of it. I find it exhilarating, you know. You’re a breath of fresh air, Magnus” Alec admitted into Magnus’s hair and felt Magnus laugh quietly into his shoulder, the sensation of the shorter man shaking his head against his shirt oddly affectionate.

“You really are something else, Alexander Lightwood” Magnus mumbled quietly before stepping back. The expression that covered his face was hard for Alec to read, his eyes soft, his brows furrowed and his lips pouted as he glanced at Alec in wonder, the taller man reaching down and grabbing the shopping bags in an attempt to not get lost in Magnus’s eyes.

As such, the two men approached the entrance in silence and Magnus presented the member of staff with the needed booking information and not before long they were led by a lovely waitress to the terrace - a beautifully decorated area filled with elegantly set tables, arrays of flowers, a stage and a dance floor, and the view, Alec noted, was extravagant as their table was right by the edge facing the Thames and the city skyline as the sun set.

There were many other people there, different couples but as they took their seats, Alec once again let his eyes fall to Magnus where he sat and stared out at the river, his profile strikingly gorgeous - his dark hair, glowing eyes, and flattering makeup complementing his skin perfectly as the candles form the table lit up his face, his gaze warm and open - and Alec felt a familiar feeling of overwhelming happiness when Magnus turned his head and smiled at him, his teeth almost shining in the evening darkness. “You look absolutely beautiful, Magnus” Alec said candidly and reached across the table to grab his hand, caressing his knuckles softly and feeling himself blush at the look Magnus gave him.

“You too, my love. Absolutely breathtaking” Magnus said and as their eyes locked for the millionth time that day, something changed in the atmosphere - a type of silent promise was exchanged between the two men - and just like that Aec knew that they would be okay, no matter what.

After a few hours, all the food they could imagine, and a bottle of wine later, Alec and Magnus were giggling quietly to themselves, both men leaning over the table and breathing into each other’s faces while their noses touched every so often, glossy eyes meeting glossy eyes as the sounds of a guitar began filling out the chattering silence. Alec lifted his eyes from Magnus for the first time that evening and glanced up at a young man who was standing on the stage, guitar in hand and a microphone to his mouth.

“Ladies and gentlemen” he began and Alec looked at him closely, his beard dark and his glasses large where he stood in casual but seemingly appropriate clothing. “Take your lover’s hand and dance with them on this beautiful summer evening, show them how much you love them” he said and commenced strumming a complicated pattern on his guitar, the sound pretty and Alec recognised the song from the radio.

Alec had never been much for dancing, he had danced before since he had been to many formal parties and dances, but he had never danced with a man and never as publicly as this. Alec felt his heart speed up as he glanced shyly at Magnus, the shorter man’s eyes longingly eyeing the dance floor as different couples began filling out the space, their suits and dresses matching perfectly together in the traditional sense and without realising it, Alec felt self conscious about his sexuality for the first time in a while. It was not because of Magnus - how could he ever be anything but proud to be with a man like him - but sticking out like a sore thumb was overwhelming irregardless of who you stuck out with.

Nevertheless, as Alec watched Magnus avert his eyes and glance down at his hands, his brows furrowed and his back slouched, Alec swallowed his doubt and stood quickly, clearing his throat softly as he reached his hand down for Magnus to take.

“Dance with me” Alec breathed and Magnus’s head snapped to his instantaneously, his brows slightly raised as his eyes once again shone like galaxies under the night sky. His lips were parted in surprise but his expression quickly turned to one of absolute happiness as he smiled at Alec.

“I’d love to” he said and pushed his chair back, grabbing Alec’s hand and only wincing ever so slightly as he stood up.

Alec was nervous since he was an abominable dancer, his hand clammy as Magnus squeezed his, the pair receiving curious glances from the other couples as they joined them on the dance floor. Magnus brought his arms around Alec’s neck and the taller man placed his around Magnus’s waist in return, locking his hands behind his back and tugging Magnus closer to his chest. Alec let his hands rest comfortingly agains the fabric of Magnus’s shirt, feeling the other man nuzzle his nose into Alec’s neck and as they danced together in the significantly chillier nighttime breeze, Alec realised suddenly that it was never dancing that had bothered him, but the people he had danced with - he had never danced with anyone quite as spectacular as Magnus.

They swayed like that, slowly and comfortably, as the man continued singing covers of the most beautiful love songs imaginable, and Alec felt his eyes tear up more times than he liked to admit at how lucky he felt to be in a place and a country that allowed him to share such an experience with the man he loved.

Eventually, as more couples returned back to their tables and as the rustle of the city began quieting down, the troubadour cleared his throat quietly and announced his final song. “To all the people who have been dancing or just listening, thank you. Ladies, take your men or women and gentlemen, do the same and dance to the final song I will sing for you tonight” Alec glanced up at his open minded announcement and met his gaze momentarily, the man’s smile wide as he began strumming the guitar familiarly one final time.

Alec felt Magnus move back slightly, bringing his forehead against Alec’s and the taller man smiled like a love-struck fool at him as the lyrics commenced, feeling Magnus’s wine-smelling breath ghost his face as he closed his eyes and enjoyed the moment with the person he had come to love more than the entire world itself.

_I found a love for me_   
_Darling just dive right in_   
_And follow my lead_   
_Well I found a girl beautiful and sweet_   
_I never knew you were the someone waiting for me_

_'Cause we were just kids when we fell in love_   
_Not knowing what it was_   
_I will not give you up this time_   
_But darling, just kiss me slow, your heart is all I own_   
_And in your eyes you're holding mine_

_Baby, I'm dancing in the dark with you between my arms_   
_Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favourite song_   
_When you said you looked a mess, I whispered underneath my breath_   
_But you heard it, darling, you look perfect tonight_

_Well I found a man, stronger than anyone I know_   
_He shares my dreams, I hope that someday I'll share his home_   
_I found a love, to carry more than just my secrets_   
_To carry love, to carry children of our own_

_We are still kids, but we're so in love_   
_Fighting against all odds_   
_I know we'll be alright this time_   
_Darling, just hold my hand_   
_Be my girl, I'll be your man_   
_I see my future in your eyes_

_Baby, I'm dancing in the dark, with you between my arms_   
_Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favourite song_   
_I have faith in what I see_   
_Now I know I have met an angel in person_   
_And he looks perfect_   
_I don't deserve this_   
_You look perfect tonight_

The pronominal change in the final segment did not go unnoticed by Alec, and as Magnus continued to let his eyes burn passionately into Alec’s, the taller man felt comfortable enough to bend down and press a quick but meaningful kiss to his lips, watching triumphantly how Magnus’s eyes widened and filled with moisture, the normally overdramatic and confident man looking lighter than a cloud as he beamed at Alec. It was a strange feeling, Alec realised as the strumming of the guitar stopped and the magic of the music seized, for something to feel so intimate when they were in the middle of a restaurant in one of the largest cities in Europe.

“That was lovely” Magnus breathed quietly into the night as they made their way back to their table, Alec’s feet slightly sore but his smile bright after having danced with Magnus for the past hour.

“Yeah” was all Alec could croak out as the two men awaited their check.

After a while of them paying their check and gathering all their things, the two men left hand in hand, tiredly leaning against one another when Alec noticed that Magnus was steering them away from the tube station that they were originally aiming for. Alec, tired and indescribably happy as he was, just let himself be led somewhere though, trusting Magnus more than he trusted himself and before he knew it, they found themselves standing on a bridge which sides were pink and gold, the pretty colours vibrant in the light shining from the street lamps scattered everywhere.

Magnus stopped when they were halfway across the bridge and leaned his elbows on the ledge, his back bent awkwardly as Alec followed suit - it was admittedly uncomfortable but Alec just looked at Magnus, the view of the water and the lights it reflected beautiful but Magnus’s face even more stunning in the night.

“This is pretty” Alec said and looked over at Magnus who appeared to be somewhere completely differently, his gaze absent as he stared down at the water below. “What’s up?” Alec wondered after a while of silence and Magnus lifted his eyes as if on cue, his gaze scared and vulnerable and Alec suddenly wondered what had happen since he thought the evening had gone so brilliantly well. “You oka-“

“This is Blackfriars bridge, I came here on the night that Richard died, Alexander” Magnus said strangely confidently while averting his eyes from Alec, the taller man watching as he strummed his ring clad fingers against the ledge causally. “I stood right here” Magnus admitted quietly and Alec felt his heart drop in realisation, any and all words he wanted to express stuck on the tip of his tongue as he stared wide eyed at the shorter man. “It wasn’t even exclusively about heartbreak and sorrow. I was selfish because that evening I’d turned off my phone to focus on writing a pathetic article for the prestigious linguistic journal ‘language’” Magnus said angrily, his voice considerably loud and uneven as he lowered its prosody. “I missed the call about a critical development in his health and hours later, when me and my pompous ass turned on the phone and saw the fifty missed calls, it was too late. I spend his last hours on earth with my nose buried in a book and only caring about myself, Alexander. I couldn’t bear the thought of living without him that is true, but I couldn’t even fathom living with the guilt of me not being there for him as he passed” Magnus whispered into the ever cooling City of London, his tone strained as he rested his forehead against his hands on the ledge. “That was why I wanted to take my life. I was selfish”

“You were younger and ambitious and driven. You couldn’t have known” Alec heard himself say quietly, his tone wavering as he brought his hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose, the polluted London air filling his lungs as he took a deep breath, blinking rapidly because Magnus was finally letting Alec in and he, unhelpfully, did now know what to do.

“But that’s the thing, I can’t shake the feeling that I should have felt it, you know. That he was about to leave this world, I should have sensed it” Magnus admitted quietly and Alec felt a burning urge to rest his hand on the small of his back but decided against it as Magnus hit his hands against the ledge forcefully, the movement raw and heartbreaking and Alec felt his face twist in sadness at the sight. “But I’m glad that Ragnor found me just in time, at least then I got the chance to fight. I may be many things but I’m not a coward, Alexander”

“I kno-“

“It would have been cowardly to jump and, ultimately, I decided I wanted to live ergo I’m selfish but at least I’m not a coward” Magnus laughed bitterly as he glanced down at the filthy water that rested peacefully beneath the bridge, Alec furrowing his brows and leaning his elbow on the ledge while turning slowly to face Magnus, his eyes concerned. “I’m sorry if this is weird” Magnus muttered quietly into the night, his shoulders slouched as he brought a trembling finger to dab at his eyes.

“It’s not weird, just say what you think” Alec urged desperately and took a deep breath. “But I know for a fact that you’re not a coward and I don’t believe that you’re selfish for one second, Magnus. Nothing about any of this is cowardly. That’s what you felt at the time and therefore it is valid. Guilt is a powerful feeling, horrible and consuming” Alec reasoned quietly, holding his breath as Magnus lifted his eyes and locked them to his. “But I’m glad that you chose to fight, otherwise I wouldn’t have met you and what a heartbreaking tragedy that would have been. Everything would be so painfully dull without your presence in this world, Magnus Bane” Alec whispered and there was no trace of anything but sincerity in his voice, every word enunciated spoken from his heart in complete and all consuming truth.

“You always seem to know what to say, Alexander” Magnus choked out after a while and Alec took a step closer to him, putting one hand on top Magnus’s where it was resting on the ledge - his skin was cold and the material from his rings sent chills down Alec’s spine. “How do you do it?” he wondered quietly and looked up at Alec, the fairy lights from South Walk shining like stars in his dark eyes as people passed behind them, completely oblivious to the milestone that had been crossed in their relationship.

“You’re giving me too much credit. I don’t know what to say you just appear to be the right listener. You always seem to understand what I mean even when I don’t know what I’m saying myself” Alec contrasted faintly and heard Magnus suck in a deep breath at his words, the shorter man tilting his head down and Alec watching him closely. “Thank you for trusting me” the taller man whispered and put his bare arm over Magnus’s shoulders, the hair on his arm standing up straight and he gingerly wondered if it was because of the breeze or because of Magnus.

“Let’s talk to your mother about suing the airline” Magnus blurted out suddenly and Alec watched as his head turned to Alec once more, his expression determined and something impressively powerful burned behind his eyes, a type of passion that Alec had yet seen on his face before. “I don’t want it to happen to anyone else and I trust you” Magnus mumbled and stood up straight, his posture authoritative as he took a deep breath and gave Alec a small smile, his eyes dark and strangely silent as he pursed his lip habitually. “I really do”.

That night when the two men eventually made it to the hotel again, and after Alec had passed out on the bed moments after changing into more comfortable clothing, Magnus seated himself next to the sleeping man and caressed his hair slowly for a good half hour.

He had dreaded the day he would have to tell Alec about the night of Richard’s death - partly because his passing still affected Magnus more than he liked to admit, but also because he was horribly ashamed of his actions. He knew form experience that the story bothered people - Camille had looked at him in disgust and Magnus had believed her wholeheartedly simply because, up until an hour ago, he had been disgusted with himself too. Magnus had, quite unreasonably he now realised, been terrified that Alec would run away or act out, but as with most things it seemed, Alec had turned everything around and made Magnus feel loved and cared for and sane, something nobody but Ragnor had ever troubled themselves with until Alec came along.

Chewing the inside of his lip timidly, Magnus closed his eyes tiredly as he lay down more comfortably next to the taller man, waiting patiently for the pill to take full effect since it was admittedly painful to breathe.

Sighing deeply, he turned his head and saw a small smile cross Alexander’s sleeping face and Magnus could not help but smile himself, his mind subconsciously wandering to something Alec had reassured him of earlier.

Alec had said that the world would be dull without Magnus’s presence, but what the taller man did not realise was that his very own existence shone as brightly as the purest gold and endured as strongly as the brightest silver. That his smile, his laugh, his voice and his touch were what had made Magnus’s presence into what Alec had come to love - Alexander had unlocked something in him and Magnus was certain that the tall and clumsy but wonderfully brilliant fool had no clue how absolutely astonishing he really was, and how lucky the world was to have him in return.

As a soft snore brought him back to reality, Magnus laughed quietly to himself as he reached for Alec’s hand that was resting on top of his chest, caressing his knuckles softly as he too closed his eyes, waiting for sleep to overtake him as he thanked his lucky stars that his and Alec's lives had crossed paths - a soft tune from one of their dances earlier that evening lulling him to sleep and Magnus felt his heart flutter at the memory of the song’s words and the awestrikingly true meaning they carried.

_City of stars_   
_Just one thing everybody wants_   
_There in the bars_   
_And through the smokescreen of the crowded restaurants_   
_It's love_   
_Yes, all we're looking for is love from someone else_   
_A rush_   
_A glance_   
_A touch_   
_A dance_

_A look in somebody's eyes_   
_To light up the skies_   
_To open the world and set me reeling_   
_A voice that says, I'll be here_   
_And you'll be alright_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stand By You by Rachel Platten
> 
> The beautiful love songs Malec danced to:
> 
> It’s You by Wrabel  
> I Will Follow You Into the Dark by Death Cab for Cutie  
> Issues by Julia Michaels  
> All About Us by He is We  
> No Me Ames by Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony  
> As Long as You Love Me by Sleeping at Last  
> City of Stars by Gavin James  
> You Are the Reason by Calum Scott  
> Fix You by Coldplay  
> Flares by The Script  
> Can’t Help Falling in Love with You by Elvis Presley  
> You’re Beautiful by James Blunt  
> Perfect Duet by Ed Sheehan and Beyoncé 
> 
> In the next chapter we meet Magnus’s arch-enemy from the literary department — Dr. Lorenzo Rey — and Alec gets in contact with his mother and is surprised at a sudden and confusing turn of events.


	18. Chapter 18

A few hours after Alec had passed out after their lovely evening of dancing, the taller man was awoken by the mattress dipping down next to him and a cool breeze washing over his pyjama clad body. He hummed softly when he felt a cold hand rest gently on his shoulder and opened his eyes slowly, glancing around the pitch back room before his eyes landed on Magnus who was fully dressed and sitting on the edge of the bed, facing him with a small smile on his face.

“I didn’t mean to wake you” Magnus whispered quietly and bent down to press his lips against Alec’s, the taller man feeling them move freely against his and he involuntarily sucked in a deep breath, bringing his hand up and touching Magnus’s shoulder, his brows furrowing when his skin touched the leather of Magnus’s jacket.

“Have you been out?” Alec slurred tiredly and shuffled into a sitting position, the duvet falling down his chest as he rubbed at his eyes in an attempt to see Magnus more clearly, the shorter man’s shoulders slouched as he turned his head to glance at Alec.

“I couldn’t sleep, I kept waking up and I needed to clear my head” Magnus explained distantly and chuckled quietly, the sound vibrant in the room as Alec moved closer to Magnus and rested his chin on the back of his shoulder, closing his eyes and breathing in the intoxicating smell of familiar sandalwood, newly cut grass and rain. Alec let his fingers caress the material of his jacket as Magnus continued to remove a pair of white cotton socks and a dark scarf that was wrapped tightly around his neck - while the room was pitch black and the curtains tightly drawn, Alec could still make out a small frown on his face and even in his state of near unconsciousness, it still made his heart burn unhappily.

“You smell like nighttime” Alec observed breathlessly as his eyebrows scrunched together, his lips pressing into the man’s shoulder as Magnus brought a hand up to caress the top of his head, his slim fingers deprived of his usual rings as he massaged his scalp carefully. “You took a walk in the middle of the night” Alec stated in a low voice. “That can’t be safe” he reasoned through a yawn and he felt Magnus’s hand stop momentarily as his breath hitched, the sound sadly familiar and Alec turned his head slightly to press a small kiss to Magnus’s neck.

“I know this city like the back of my hand. Its nighttime is not nearly as threatening as its daytime, trust me my love. Besides, I was on the phone with Cat the whole time” he mumbled distractedly and let go of Alec’s head in order to shuffle off his jacket and toss it carelessly on the floor, cracking his back and turning to Alec gracefully, his hair tussled and damp where it stuck out in every possible direction. Alec nodded his head as he looked at him perplexedly, trying to disambiguate the words spoken while licking his lips and bringing a hand to Magnus’s cheek, his warm hand soft against his stubble.

“Want to talk about whatever kept you up?” Alec whispered tiredly before sitting back and opening his arms widely, smiling to himself when Magnus put his head on his shoulder and as he felt their legs intertwine habitually - a movement that Alec breathlessly realised was flawlessly executed, almost as if it had been continuously practised for years.

“It’s nothing, really. I received a text from Ragnor as I was falling asleep explaining that a person who used to make my life a living hell is coming as a last minute guest all the way from New York to speak at the lecture as well” Magnus mumbled softly and Alec tightened his grip on him, feeling his cold hair fall to his shoulder as Magnus traced Alec’s arm with his fingers. “We have this strange rivalry and while I know it’s childish, it doesn’t stop my blood from boiling and it’s slightly stressing me out, I would be lying if I said that it wasn’t” he confess into Alec’s chest, the tone of his voice low and raspy and it reminded Alec of all the times the two men had met up in the evening after Magnus had spend the entire day lecturing.

“Oh” he said and raised his brows, not realising that Magnus had ever experienced problems with any academic personnel and feeling slightly guilty for never more specifically asking about his job. “Are you okay?” he wondered as he subconsciously moved his hands up and down Magnus’s back, the T-shirt that he was wearing creasing as his fingers moved.

“Go back to sleep, darling. I’m alright” Magnus chuckled and arched his neck to peck Alec’s cheek before wrapping his arms around his chest and letting out a deep sigh, his shoulders relaxing in Alec’s hold. “I will tell you all the gory details in the morning” he breathed and Alec closed his eyes slowly, the feeling of Magnus’s weight on his chest comfortingly familiar as he buried his face in his hair.

 

————-

 

A few hours later, when two two men were seated at the breakfast table - which was situated in an impressively large ballroom with chandeliers covering the ceiling Alec noted in awe - drinking coffee and eating waffles, Magnus received a text message and judging from the hilariously offended look on his face he was not happy about it.

“Lorenzo Rey has some nerve” he hissed angrily and dramatically dropped the phone down on the white silk table cloth, resting his elbows on the table and covering his face with his hands - the phone, Alec noticed, now had a large crack running across its screen. Alec watched him with raised eyebrows, quietly marvelling at how the red button up Magnus was wearing hugged his biceps so tightly that he feared it might rip the fabric, before clearing his throat quietly and taking a large gulp of coffee.

“I take it Lorenzo is the guy that kept you up all night?” Alec muttered somewhat bitterly, feeling slightly unsettled at the fact that Magnus could not have slept for more than three hours since they got to London two nights ago.

“Correct. He now wants to meet up for coffee later today” Magnus mumbled and Alec felt the shorter man caress his calf under the table, his loafer clad foot slowly massaging his ankle as he bit his lip and shook his head in disbelief. “That bastard” he exclaimed loudly and Alec watched amusedly how he quickly looked around to ensure that none of the elderly guests had heard the profanity.

“Just say no” Alec said casually and cut another piece of the waffle before him, bringing it to his mouth as he looked around the room slowly, his eyes landing on the impressively large paintings hanging on the walls and the large french windows covering the entire wall to their right, the doors open and the smell of roses and heat filling the large room as they ate.

“I wish it were that simple” Magnus muttered as he took a large bite of the waffle, his lips moving distractedly prettily as he chewed. “And I already agreed” he added quickly while taking a sip of the steaming coffee that was resting in a small white cup on the table.

“Magnus” Alec moaned halfheartedly accusingly, his tone light but raspy as he glared at Magnus through his eyelashes, resting his left elbow on the table and pointing a finger at the shorter man. “Why are you making your life more difficult than it has to be?” he inquired overtly but gave the other man a small smile simply because he desperately looked like he could use one - his brows were furrowed, his skin was red in places and his eyes bloodshot and tired.

“He recently got a promotion and is now on the administrative board of our university, representing the literary department” he explained and gestured with his hands theatrically, his fingers moving enchantingly as he continued. “Therefore he can accept or decline applications for research grants and I cannot afford to get on his bad side yet again” he said quietly and Alec felt a tugging on his heart, the expression on Magnus’s face sad and filled with defeat.

“Hey” Alec commenced and reached across the table to caress Magnus’s wrist slowly, feeling the pearls of the red bracelet beneath his fingertips as he massaged his skin softly. “I’ll come with you if you want, how bad can it really be?” Alec reasoned assuredly and smiled widely at the beautiful yet disheveled man before him - Alec had recently noticed that Magnus much more rarely bothered wearing makeup or fixing his hair around Alec, and the taller man felt honoured since it meant that he trusted him and that he was letting his guard down.

“He’s an ass, Alexander. Incompetent, vain, inexperienced, naive-“ Magnus trailed off as he rubbed his forehead slowly. “I must have a word with Ragnor, I am furious that he let this happen. This man should not be here, he is hardly competent enough to teach anyone let alone at an event such as this one. Pathetic really” Magnus hissed and Alec watched him from where he was sitting, his jean-clad knee bobbling up and down in a restless but strangely comforting manner as he bit his lip.

“Are you sure you’re not just overreacting?” Alec tried to reason as he grabbed Magnus’s hand and intertwined their fingers, the other man looking up at him through his loose bangs and narrowing his eyes at him - Alec had early on learnt that when it concerned Magnus’s job, his boyfriend developed what Alec could only describe as tunnel vision, something which Alec thought was a blessing and a curse simultaneously since he could be impressively productive but also get inside his own head and over-dramatise things. “If he has a doctorate too, he’s probably not as bad as you thin-“

“He’s a snake, Alexander. Just like in the garden of Eden, he eats all the fruit and leaves nothing for anyone else” Magnus muttered as he uncharacteristically ungracefully downed the entire cup of coffee in one go, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand before looking out the large windows and taking a long, deep breath. “People love him and his charm. How people can love narcissistic pieces of shit is really beyond my understanding, Alexander, and for the record, his doctorate is honorary, not earned”

“Right-” Alec droned and pressed his lips together, letting go of Magnus’s hand and resting it flatly on the table instead, slowly drumming his fingers against the cloth as he twisted his brows in surprising confusion. “-that’s not how that went though. Have you never read the bible? Garden of Eden is literally mentioned in the first few pages, Magnus” Alec wondered and chuckled softly, bumping his foot against Magnus’s and watching in victory how a grin spread across his boyfriend’s face.

“I’ve been meaning to but who has the time? The only mighty entities I need in my life are vodka, my job and you, my dear” he said quickly as he winked lovingly at Alec, his gaze sparking in the morning sunshine and Alec blushed embarrassingly deeply at the remark, shyly grinning down at his hands as his words sunk in.

“Alright, spill” Alec started matter-of-factly as he looked up at Magnus again, moving his hand to caress Magnus’s thigh underneath the table cloth casually, a gesture that left Magnus’s face surprised and remarkably happy. “What happened between the two of you? He must have done something worthy of death row to piss you off this badly” Alec said confidently, his eyes warm and kind as he looked at Magnus like he had crafted the world and the stars, not enjoying seeing him this upset about something so seemingly mundane.

“I never once took you for the gossiping type, Alexander” Magnus said and he sounded oddly impressed. “But if you want to know I’ll tell you” he said conclusively as he dabbed a napkin over his mouth and leaned forward towards Alec, looking at the taller man with a solemn expression as he cleared his throat dulcetly. “It all began when I first got accepted into Oxford at the age of fourteen” Magnus commenced dramatically and Alec subconsciously took a deep breath since he realised that he had just opened pandoras box and that they would be sitting at the breakfast table for hours - although Alec would be laying to himself if he said he minded since spending time with Magnus was fantastic irregardless of the location and activity.

After a while and admittedly surprisingly, Lorenzo did sound like a real piece of work and while Alec might be slightly biased since he loved Magnus and would gladly take on anyone who threatened or hurt him, Magnus did seem to make some valid, though arguably hyperbolic, points about the man.

“Wow” Alec muttered and sat back tiredly in the comfortable chair, his jaw rigid as he rolled his eyes at the mere idea of the man. “Just wow”

“Yeah, now do you see my problem?” Magnus huffed out as he leaned back in his own chair, their feet tangled under the table as Alec looked around tiredly, realising that they were the only ones left in the dining room and that staff members were busy clearing up after breakfast while simultaneously preparing for lunch.

“We’ll just have to charm his disturbing and sibilant socks off today” Alec said sarcastically and put his cutlery across his plate, pushing his chair back and looking at Magnus with warm eyes. “You’re very charming and I’ll just stand next to you” he muttered as he stood up and brought his hand down for Magnus to take, the sensation of the shorter man letting his hand fall in his still embarrassingly overwhelming to Alec as the two men walked back to their suite, smiling at the different members of staff while holding each other’s hands tightly.

 

———-

 

Three hours later - after they had gotten ready and Alec had sent a very thorough email to his mother regarding the accident on the airplane as per Magnus’s request the night before - the two men were waiting outside St Paul’s Cathedral which Alec, quite honestly, thought was a bit overdramatic.

Magnus looked stunning though, where he was stranding and taking pictures of Alec and the large church, his hair neatly styled into his usual mohawk, his face covered by a large pair of aviator sunglasses and he was wearing a loose fitting clear red silk shirt and a pair of navy dress trousers, his feet covered by the same pair of brown leather designer loafers he had been wearing on the plane. Again, he looked unbelievably breathtaking and while Alec was wearing a set of new clothes which they had purchased only the day before - a military green short sleeved button up, a pair of light blue skinny jeans which were rolled up at his ankles and a pair of navy Toms - he still felt like he could never even come close to looking as good as Magnus.

“Alexander, darling, come here” Magnus exclaimed and Alec snapped out of whatever trans he had found himself in, looking up from the pebbled ground and to his boyfriend, his smile wide as he walked over to him. “Come here” he said again and tugged Alec to his side, bringing his phone up in front of them and Alec watched them on the screen as Magnus snapped a picture, their smiling faces forever captured in the snapshot which Alec would most definitely make his home screen wallpaper later - although nobody but Magnus would ever know that, of course.

“Excuse me” a voice behind them said and both men turned around, looking down at a cute old couple that was smiling expectantly at them. “Would you like us to take a picture of you?” the lady asked in an accent that was neither British nor American, her grey hair flowing prettily in the wind as she looked at the man to her left with wide blue eyes. “He is very good at taking pictures” she reassured them and nodded to the man who was holding a large camera - old and significantly worn but big and impressive nonetheless. Alec smiled at them and gave them a quick once over - the lady was wearing a floral dress and a handbag over her shoulder while the man was wearing a white short sleeved button up with a pair of black slacks. Although they looked old and very happy, Alec couldn’t help but wonder how it felt to spend your entire life with one person - admittedly though when Alec looked at Magnus he couldn’t fathom a future without him by his side so his silent inquiry seemed entirely irrelevant.

“If you don’t mind, that would be lovely” Magnus said politely and looked at Alec quickly, his gaze concealed by the dark lenses of his glasses but Alec could tell from the position of his eyebrows and his small smile that he was happy as he handed his phone to the man, taking Alec’s hand as they stepped back to smile at the camera.

It was understandably very unusual and weird, Alec had to admit, posing in front of a couple of old strangers, and while Alec was not much for cute and coupley pictures, Magnus insisted and Alec, as it always were, had pathological issues saying no to him. “Thank you” Magnus said eventually as they walked back over to the couple after an over-exaggerated while of picture-taking, the shorter man accepting his phone and looking through the pictures quickly. Alec watched him over his shoulder and was truthfully and quite thoroughly impressed with how well they had turned out - Alec had to remember to send them to his mother since he was certain that she was freaking out over his previous email.

“I’m sorry to ask but are you gay?” the lady asked apprehensively yet suddenly and Alec straightened his back out of habit, ready to defend himself like he had done so many times before, admittedly surprised at her bluntness and slightly confused at her oblivion since Magnus had kissed him on the cheek in more than one of the photos.

“It’s a bit more complex than that but yes, we’re in a gay relationship” Magnus clarified softly and gave them a weak smile, Alec admiring how little the question seemed to bother him although he figured that Magnus had dealt with a lot more people in his much more academically successful life than Alec ever had and was therefore more used to handling it.

“We didn’t want to offend you, we don’t mind at all. Our grandson just said he is gay and we were scared for him. But seeing you two being so open made us less scared” the man continued and looked at them with an unreadable expression, the bright sun casting dark shadows over his face as he took a step forward and touched Magnus’s arm softly, Alec giving him an apprehensive looks since they were complete strangers.

“Oh” Alec and Magnus mumbled simultaneously, the surprised expression Alec saw on Magnus’s face probably mimicking that of his own as he smiled softly at the older couple, Magnus bringing his hand to rest on Alec’s back casually.

“Are you married?” the woman asked lightly and took out her own phone to snap a picture of them, Alec frowning at her boldness but feeling a blush make its way over his face nonetheless.

“No—no” Alec huffed out quickly while shaking his head notably frantically, his quick and eager response making Magnus drop his hand from his back.

“Not yet” Magnus whispered in turn although his voice was so softly quiet that Alec thought it might have been intended for Magnus’s ears only, and as with most things Magnus said or did recently, the words spoken left Alec’s face flustered and his heart feeling an unreasonably adamant sense of hope for the future.

As such, they stayed like that for a decent while and spoke to the kind couple - they were from Sweden and were visiting London for the week - and Alec found the experience surprisingly rewarding since it was mind-opening to have an open and honest conversation about the LGBTQ+ community with a person over 70 who’s opinions were not riddled with prejudice.

Magnus seemed to really enjoy it too, gladly showing the lady all his of rings when she asked where he had purchased them and explaining some complicated thing about linguistics and linguistic representation in the LGBTQ+ community to the man who, Alec realised with a fond smile, was extremely well educated and well versed in the community - their grandson was indeed lucky to have them. “That was weird but kind of nice” Alec said and gave Magnus a sideways glance when the couple eventually excused themselves, the tall man observingly noting that Magnus looked strangely emotional as they were once again left alone outside of the impressively immense cathedral.

“Yeah, lovely couple. Times really are changing” Magnus said chokingly as he turned to Alec and gave him a soft kiss on the mouth, resting their foreheads together momentarily before breathing in deeply through his nose and bringing his phone out of his pocket, glaring at it as he bit his lip. “There’s fashionably late and then there’s this” Magnus muttered as he typed something on his phone, his rind-clad fingers moving effortlessly efficiently over the keys and Alec took a step towards him to put hand on his shoulder - the taller man had almost forgotten that they were meeting Magnus’s colleague and he would be lying if he said that he looked forward to it.

“We could just go-“

“Magnus Bane” a voice boomed from behind them as if on cue and despite the traffic, rustling and chattering of both birds and tourists, the voice was sharp and loud - two of Alec’s least favourite qualities in a voice. “Looking as out-there as ever” the man’s voice said as Alec turned around to face the sound source, his attitude instantaneously changing from happy to annoyed as his eyes landed on the obnoxiously grinning man before him.

“Speaking of the devil” Alec heard Magnus mumble as he tucked his phone into his pocket, turning around and giving the man, Lorenzo Alec presumed, the fakest smile Alec had ever seen plastered on his face, his expression making it incredibly difficult for Alec to stop the giggle that was bubbling in his chest. “Lorenzo Rey, lovely seeing you again” Magnus said slowly, his voice a bit too bright and a bit too excited as he extended his hand only for Lorenzo to ignore it, the other man’s eyes landing on Alec instead.

“And I see you brought a friend” he observed coldly, his gaze bringing chills down Alec’s spine and while the taller man considered himself calm and mostly collected, the look the man was giving Magnus made him clench his fists against his sides.

“I’m Alec” Alec said distantly, hearing the intonation of his voice raise at the end and realising that it probably sounded more like a question than a definitive answer.

“Are you sure?” Lorenzo asked degradingly and twirled his eyebrows at Alec, the gesture making him incredibly uncomfortable as he put a hand on the small of Magnus’s back, wondering again why the shorter man had said yes to this disaster of a proposition.

“I’m quite sure” Alec said and smiled numbly at him, his lips spread but his eyes dark as he gave the man a once over. He was quite short, much shorter than him and notably shorter than Magnus, he was wearing a green and admittedly unflattering corduroy suit, and his goatee matched that of Magnus’s just less groomed and, well, attractive.

“So, why did you request a meeting today, Rey?” Magnus asked irritably as he fiddled with the cuff on his right ear, his back straight as he looked up at Alec and rolled his eyes. “We really had more pressing matters to attend to” he finished and gave the short man a gloating smirk, the small but impressively threatening laugh that left his mouth surprisingly shocking to Alec.

“Somehow I doubt that. I heard that you got into a little accident and that you haven’t been very well” he said and Alec felt his jaw drop when the man smirked at Magnus, the small smile that covered his face inappropriately wide after such a comment.

“Oh I’m perfectly okay. Never been better” Magnus said and Alec bit his lip, nodding his head reassuringly despite being painfully aware that Magnus was lying. “Although I applaud your newfound ability to care for people other than yourself” Magnus said and pursed his lips pompously at the other man. “A truly admirable quality, really” he retorted impressively passive aggressively.

“Alright, Bane-” Lorenzo said and any kindness that had been present in his voice a minute ago had vanished, his eyes dark and cold as they met Alec’s again. “-we can order coffee and pretend to be civil with each other or I can just tell you here and now why I’ve bothered meeting with you today” he spat and Alec felt a disturbing sense of pride at how completely Magnus had managed to get under his skin, the tension so intense that it pushed down on Alec’s chest and he felt himself get slightly nervous at the unpredictable nature of the situation.

“We’ve been waiting for you for the past thirty minutes so I think both Alexander and I would prefer it if you refrained from wasting any more of our time. We are on holiday after all and I, personally, don’t like to be kept waiting” Magnus said and took a step towards the shorter man, his height in combination with his mohawk quite intimidating even to Alec.

“As you wish” Lorenzo said and jabbed a finger in Magnus’s chest, the gesture forceful enough for Magnus to stop in his tracks but apparently not threatening enough for him to take a step back, Alec watching the scene before him with furrowed brows and wide eyes. “You’re no longer speaking at the end of year lecture. The board has decided that it would be more-“ Lorenzo paused and gave Magnus a pointed look as he squeezed his shoulder. “-appropriate for me to speak in your place” he finished and Alec felt his eyes aggressively roll back into his skull, his lips pressed together as he let out a small and frustrated laugh - who the hell did this guy think he was?

“Pardon me but I don’t see how that is for the board to decide. This was a direct invitation from King’s College” Magnus reasoned notably desperately, his tone low and Alec could hear how his voice got progressively more frantic. “This is preposterous”

“Let me spell it out for you” Lorenzo hissed and took a step away from Magnus, dropping his hand from his shoulder as he gave him a snide smile. “The board doesn’t want you to represent the university hence why they sent me. They think you’re lazy, uninspired, extravagant, and to top it all you’re dating a student who, no less, studies at the very same university that you’re teaching at” the man finished and Alec felt his blood run cold, his heart dropping to his stomach as he swallowed audibly - he had never once really thought about how their relationship might effect Magnus’s academic career. “The only reason they agreed in the first place was because it was personally requested by Dr. Fell who essentially sets this up every year to whom you also happen to have an incredibly close and personal relationship with, no?”

“I don’t believe that for once second” Magnus breathed and took a step back, Ale scraping his nails into the palm of his hand to stop himself from reaching out for Magnus or saying something inappropriate. “You’re just saying this t-“

“I wish it were that way, Bane, but sadly this is the case. You’re not allowed to lecture but you can come and watch the rest of us from the sidelines. After all, that’s where people like you belong” Lorenzo breathed and gave a gut-wrenching and cartoonishly evil chuckle, a sound Alec wished to never hear ever again as he closed his eyes in frustration.

“People like who, exactly” Alec spat and raised an irritated hand to stop Magnus from interrupting, unable to keep his mouth shut and listen to this person insult his boyfriend. “You do realise that this is classified as workplace discrimination?” he hissed and took a step towards the man, the cobblestones under his shoes slightly uneven as he moved his feet, the sun hot on his back as his eyes burned into Lorenzo’s.

“Broken people, people who latch onto people like yourself, young man. Weak people attract weak people after all and as your superior I suggest that you don’t use that tone with, or threaten me ever again” Lorenzo replied lowly, his voice barely above a whisper yet the words rang uncomfortably loudly in Alec’s ears. The taller man averted his gaze from the man and looked at Magnus who’s shoulders were rigidly straight and who’s lips were pressed together tightly as if he were trying to prevent himself from saying something he shouldn’t.

“The only thing superior about you is your ego” Magnus breathed and Alec’s eyes widened, the taller man taking a stride towards the shorter man when Lorenzo raised his hand to slap Magnus across the face in anger. However, when Alec anticipated hearing the horrible sound of skin colliding with skin, nothing but silence and a painful groan was heard from Lorenzo as the horribly rude man almost bent in half. Alec nervously looked at Magnus and saw that he had grabbed Lorenzo’s hand in a seemingly uncomfortable hold, gripping it in such a way that it looked like it could snap in half if Magnus wanted it to, a hold that furthermore made the even shorter man’s face twist in pure agony as Magnus stared at him with blazing eyes. “Leave” Magnus choked out and let go of his hand, pushing him forward slightly and taking a step back himself, breathing heavily as he brought a hand to his forehead. Lorenzo looked at him in shock, his face blank and pale and Alec’s heart beat uncomfortably quickly as he took a step towards Magnus, absentmindedly registering Lorenzo power-walking away from the pair while his nauseatingly green blazer probably shone much too vibrantly in the afternoon sunlight.

“Welcome to academia, Alexander. Where everyone stabs everyone in the back the first chance they get” Magnus mumbled quietly as he started walking away from Alec, the taller man staring at him before coming to his senses and following him, tugging him to a halt by his arm and turning him around.

“Hey” Alec whispered as he tugged Magnus closer to himself, worriedly looking at his face and seeing how Magnus’s forehead furrowed. “I will kill him” Alec hissed and grabbed the shorter man’s shoulders gently,

“Pay no mind to him Alexander” Magnus muttered but leaned into Alec’s arms and as the taller man wrapped his arms around Magnus, he wondered briefly if they unwillingly had attracted anyone’s attention. “He’s not worth it and I know you don’t want to hear it but this isn’t the first time this has happened” the shorter man whispered and his breath tickled Alec’s neck comfortingly, his heart achingly heavy since he knew how much Magnus had looked forward to this opportunity.

“He hurt you” Alec muttered into Magnus’s hair, his hand resting on the nape of his neck as he glared at the church behind them, at the sun, at all the pretty and beautiful gardens and trees because this was not fair, Magnus deserved better than this.

“He didn’t touch me” Magnus huffed out and Alec felt him tighten his grip on his shoulders, the taller man pressing a soft kiss to his temple before taking a step back and smiling sadly at him.

“You know that’s not what I meant” he reasoned and tucked a strand of Magnus’s loose bangs back in its place. “I’m sorry” he whispered eventually and dropped his hand to his side, looking around desperately because, truthfully, he felt horrible.

“For what?”

“I’m sorry that you lost the opportunity to speak because of me. That he tired to hit you, that you have to work with asses like him. That I can’t do anything about this and that-”

“Stop Alexander” Magnus muttered softly, taking Alec’s hand in his and kissing his knuckles as he tugged them away from the cathedral and towards the direction of the Thames. “You don’t see yourself the way I see you” he continued. “If you did you’d understand why this, us, isn’t an issue” he said and Alec felt his arm wrap around his waist as they crossed a small road. “I’d choose you any day over my job but his little charade, that outrageous conversation back there, was nothing but a ruse to piss me off simply because, authoritatively, he can make my life a living hell”

“You can’t mean that” Alec said and squinted into the sun, its rays causing white spots to dance before Alec’s eyes as Magnus shuffled even closer to his side.

“I refuse to apologise for falling in love with you, Alexander. Irregardless of what the university did or did not say” Magnus said and brought his arm to rest on Alec’s slouched shoulders instead, the taller man feeling the weight of Magnus against his side as he looked up at him, his hazel eyes bright. “I had a feeling this might happen. The text Ragnor sent, the phone call to Cat, everyone warned me it might happen” he muttered tiredly and Alec rested his head against the shorter man’s hair, looking at the old and fragile buildings they passed while trying to imagine all the different people that had walked the same exact street. “I’m sorry I dragged you all across the Atlantic for nothing” Magnus said and removed his sunglasses, looking at Alec with the eyes Alec loved more than anything and suddenly, as a pigeon flew above their heads and as a group of school children walked past the pair, he realised that he’d be prepared to fight for this - not necessarily just because Magnus was his boyfriend but because he had carried out impressive research that deserved recognition.

“I love being here with you, there’s no place I’d rather be you know” Alec mumbled and smiled sweetly at nothing in particular, just hearing himself utter those words and feeling no shame or regret just felt amazing. It had been a hot minute since the taller man had been that open with anyone - let alone with himself. “But I really don’t get that guy. He’s a complete ass and it all seemed kind of desperate and extremely unreasonable”

“Madmen don’t tend to make sense, don’t even bother figuring him out. I must be cursed however, that’s the only conspiracy you should concern yourself with, Alexander. There’s no other explanation for everything horrible that keeps happening to me” Magnus muttered and fiddled with his ear cuff once again, the gesture familiar to Alec as he squeezed Magnus’s upper arm. “What do you want to do since the sole reason we came has been taken away? London is your oyster now Alexander, it’s all at your feet. What tickles your fancy?” Magnus wondered and Alec made a face at the final part of the utterance.

“Cursed? Possibly, your luck has been abysmal ever since I met you and really, Magnus, tickle your fancy. How old are we again, 80?” Alec said and glanced at Magnus softly, his eyes bright as he bit his lip to stop himself from laughing. “But I guess it’s just us now, without any distractions” Alec mumbled in realisation and squeezed Magnus comfortingly, letting his fingers brush against his boyfriend’s cheek as he looked out at the river they were approaching. “Show me everything”

“Everything, Alexander. I grew up here and not everything is as great a-“

“Everything” Alec stated confidently and bumbled his shoulder to the shorter man’s, hearing him laugh as a result and feeling his arm wrap even tighter around his waist. “You’re the bravest person I know and I want to see everything your eyes have seen”

“Alright. But you better be prepared to encounter a few rats since we’re leaving central London” Magnus said frowningly and yawned softly, Alec’s face twisting in hair-raising love for the man as his heart fluttered in that giddily familiar but quite unsettling way while he chuckled softly to himself.

“Maybe we should start the grand tour tomorrow?” Alec suggested as he yawned as well, the lack of sleep and the time difference catching up to him as a cold breeze brushed against his face and as a whiff from some bakery reached his nose.

“Yeah, let’s get out of here” Magnus agreed slowly as the two men approacehd a pretty terrace by the river, Alec watching as the shorter man let go of him before proceeding to rested his elbows on the silver railing instead, his red shirt flowing prettily in the wind - if Alec could he would stay there and look at him forever.

“Hold on, I still haven’t decided if it’s worth me getting cursed too” Alec said and gave Magnus a serious expression, his brows furrowed as he held up his hand arguably dramatically. “What if it’s, you’re, contagious?” he exclaimed and gave Magnus his best scared stare, his cover blown within seconds by the fact that his face twisted into a smile as Magnus’s eyes widened theatrically offendedly.

“Oh hush you” Magnus said and smacked him playfully on the arm, linking their fingers as they continued to stare at the dirty water and the skyline formed by Canary Wharf in peaceful unawareness.

“Just you and me, I can get used to that. Taking London by storm” Alec muttered somewhat jokingly and felt Magnus squeeze his fingers tightly nonetheless.

“You and I, darling” Magnus corrected and the taller man laughed loudly at the descriptive comment, the shorter man unclasping their hands to clutch Alec’s bicep firmly instead. “You and me, my love. Taking london by storm, indeed” he mimicked softly and Alec felt his heart swell at Magnus misusing grammar to make him feel better, an act of love Alec never once thought he would find so entirely perfect and heartwarming.

“You’re so beautiful, Magnus. People don’t tell you that enough but I hope you know that I see you that way. Both here-” Alec said suddenly as he turned to face Magnus completely, gracing his hands swiftly over Magnus’s shirt, his hair and his cheek. “-and here” Alec whispered and pressed his hand to Magnus’s heart, feeling the steady beat as he looked into his eyes.

“A heart of gold, Alexander” Magnus whispered as he pressed his lips against his nose. “And words of wonder, my dear” he finished and pressed a soft kiss to Alec’s continuously reddening cheek, the soft breeze from the evening and Magnus’s smell turning his already weary knees into jelly. “That’s why I’d rather have you than anything else” he said casually and tugged at Alec’s hand, bringing the taller man to his side as they ventured alongside the river once again.

 

——-

 

It was a few hours later and Magnus thought, despite the unfortunate meeting with Lorenzo, that the day had gone relatively smoothly - granted, they had barely done anything but at the rate at which he was going, bad things seemed to happen when one least expected them to. Even so, Magnus felt nothing but unwavering happiness where he lay with his head in Alec's lap on the plush bed, his boyfriend’s slim fingers gently combing through his hair as the TV played reruns of _the IT Crowd_ , the show yet another reason why Magnus felt a strong need to move back to the beautifully sarcastic country that was England.

Alec was laughing loudly at something Roy had said, his chest vibrating against Magnus’s head and he himself could not help but smile too, the pain in his chest dull and distant but still noticeable especially since it was the end of an admittedly long and tiring day. “A fire, at sea parks” Alec giggled and Magnus shook his head and pressed a soft kiss to his trouser-clad leg, breathing in the scent of warm cotton fabric softener and a smell that seemed unique to Alec. “I have literal tears in my eyes Mags, my God” Alec gasped breathlessly and Magnus felt his hand on his back once more, his fingers caressing his T-shirt covered skin slowly while his breathing evened out.

“It is brilliant, isn’t it?” Magnus reasoned softly and grabbed onto Alec’s exposed ankle, slowly caressing the skin there while the taller man shifted his position slowly, one of his crossed legs straightening out as his body slumped further down onto the bed.

“Yeah, English humou-“ Alec’s gleeful response was abruptly cut short by the shirking ringing of Alexander’s phone, the melody loud and recursively annoying and Magnus sat up slowly, casually pressing down on his chest as he straightened his posture in order for Alec to reach the phone with greater ease. “Who’s calling at this hour?” Alec muttered perplexedly while giving Magnus a regretful look, biting his lip as he quickly got up from the bed to answered the phone. “Hello?” he said and Magnus lay back down on the bed, his eyes closing when he heard Alec's footsteps distance themselves from the bed, the silence that suddenly embraced him much too overwhelming for his liking - he had grown up in London and New York, silence was foreign to him and normally indicated that something horrible had happened.

Nevertheless, as Alec's soft voice still could be heard in the distance, and as cars could be heard from the dark outside, Magnus reluctantly opened his eyes and let his gaze fall on the impressive chandelier he had spend every night so far in London observing, learning every nook and cranny and while it was beautifully elegant, even someone as detailed oriented as Magnus could only marvel at it for so long before driving themselves slightly mad.

Sitting up slowly and bringing his legs over the edge of he bed, he let his slippers hit the carpet as he stood, cracking his back loudly as he proceeded to close the curtains, blow out the candles they had lit earlier, and remove all the decorative cushions and throws from the bed since it was almost one in the morning and they both desperately needed to get a good night’s rest. As Magnus walked closer to the dayroom of their suite however, where they kept their luggage and electronics, Alec's voice rose form inside, its prosody uneven and unpredictable and while Magnus normally prided himself in being trusting and not-at-all-nosy, he could not help but tip-tope closer to the ajar door, feeling his heart speed up at Alec’s distressed tone.

_“I wouldn’t ask you if it wasn’t necessary”_

_“How dare you? You threaten us, you threatened him”_

_“He could have died. I’ll do anything to help him. Whatever you need. I’ll do whatever you need me to do”_

_“Father, please. I never ask you for anything”_

_“Thank you, Sir. I won’t disappoint you”_

Magnus took an abrupt step back when nothing but silence was heard once again, his eyes wide as he scrammed to find a pair of shoes and a jacket since the words that had left Alec's mouth stirred something in Magnus’s chest and he suddenly felt unable to inhale in the stuffy air-conditioned and over-circulated air that enclosed their hotel room. Magnus breathed heavily as he suddenly felt a soft hand on the fabric of his jacket, his slouched position low since he was trying to put on a pair of black Dr. Martens and his chest aching as he gave Alec a quick and probably very unconvincing smile. “I take it your parents received your email?”

“Yeah” Alec breathed and squatted next to Magnus, resting a gentle hand on his leg as his red rimmed hazel eyes burned into Magnus’s with a determination that the shorter man had never once seen directed at himself before. “I had to cut a deal with him but mom and I eventually persuaded my father to help you. We’re definitely wining this case” Alec said and Magnus felt a cold shiver run down his spine - for him, it was all for him and he suddenly felt a strong urge to shake some sense into the younger man because cutting a deal with someone like Robert Lightwood was always, irregardless of circumstance, the worst possible idea and never worth it. “To help us” Alec clarified strenuously and despite Magnus’s inner turmoil, the glint of hope that radiated through Alec’s tired eyes was enough for Magnus to collect himself off the ground and stand tall in the darkly lit room, his posture straight as he swallowed thickly and reached for his phone that was already tucked away in the pocket of his jacket.

“I need to get some air” Magnus breathed and Alec stood too, his tall figure towering over Magnus ever so harmlessly as he, gentle as he always was, leaned down and pressed a kiss to his cheek, his lips soft and unbelievably smooth as the shorter man leaned into the sensation, his eyes closing when he felt Alec take a deep breath like he was breathing him in.

“Again?” Alec wondered and Magnus thought he sounded disappointed and slightly hurt. “Be careful” his whispered and Magnus nodded before moving back and turning on his heel, quickly grabbing the hotel keys as he hurried out the door, down the hallway, to the ground floor and out of the golden lined glass doors that led outside, the fresh air hitting Magnus like a ton of bricks as his eyes landed on his pitch black surroundings.

It had been a while since Magnus had experienced a panic attack, but when his chest contracted in that uncomfortably choking way and his vision blurred he decided to do the only thing he could think of - running as fast as he could for as long as possible. He ran, and he ran as quickly as his tired feet would carry him down the street, across the road, to the right and into Hyde Park, its trees and large pond admittedly unsettling in the darkness but since Magnus had decided to non-metaphorically run away from all his problems, it seemed the only plausible place to go.

The park was indeed deserted and while it was not the safest place to be a that time of night, Magnus continued running deeper into the park until he physically could not breathe, resting his hands on his knees as he sucked in deep, trembling breaths while the stars shone prettily down on him in the clear night sky. Bringing a hand to his forehead and slowly regaining his senses, Magnus straightened his back and took a moment to marvel at the bright stars that were a rarity in the bright sphere of central London, his eyes squinting as he saw a shooting star or what could also have been an airplane pass by. Looking down again and seeing the wet grass below his feet, Magnus took a deep breath and let out a sudden but loud and pitiful scream, something Ragnor had advised him to do at times when he felt incapable of formulating the words in his heart and the feelings burning in his chest.

The noise that left his lungs was raspy and uneven, and that night Magnus screamed because of his career, because of Lorenzo Rey, the pain in his chest, all the times he had been ill during the past few moths, his supposed curse, his past, his future, and his present. Overarchingly, however, Magnus screamed because of and for his Alexander - the tall and irresistibly kind man he had come to fall so irrevocably and helplessly in love with. He screamed because the tall but stupid man was putting Magnus’s needs before his own, because he always supported Magnus and loved him when it felt like no one else ever would. He screamed because he refused to let anyone or anything happen to Alec, especially something that was purely his own fault and Magnus, above all else, screamed his lungs out because he had never felt this overwhelmed and scared of the infatuating attachment he felt to Alec and while he was very intelligent, he could not understand why whatever force governed the universe thought he deserved all that - good and bad.

Those were the reasons Magnus screamed so loudly and for so long that his voice eventually gave out, nothing but short rasps of broken air escaping his lips as he sunk to his knees, the wetness of the grass seeping through his trousers as he felt some of the pressure on his chest ease, the focus of his vision returning as a duck slowly padded into the dark pond before him.

Reluctantly pulling the phone out of his jacket and swallowing any sense of dignity, Magnus went to his contacts and scrolled until he found the name he never once thought he’d call, closing his eyes and feeling a single tear roll down his cheek as he sniffed softly, bringing a hand to his nose as the familiar tone of a ringing phone echoed in his ear. Some time passed and just as Magnus was about to hang up, a startling clicking sound was heard and a voice sounded from the other end of the line.

“Hello, who is this?” the soft voice muttered tiredly and Magnus suddenly felt sick to his stomach as a raindrop mockingly landed on his hand.

“Father” he rasped embarrassingly brokenly into the phone as he heard a subtle gasp and the rustling of fabric, feeling a familiar type of melancholy rise in his chest as he took a deep breath and straightened his back, looking out over the pond and its ducks as the dark nighttime made it look significantly more horror-like than it deserved. “It’s me, Magnus”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “The only thing superior about you is your ego” - Shadwohunters 3x09.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise that this chapter is posted so late, I have been a bit preoccupied trying to #SaveShadowhunters (as I think we all have). 
> 
> I hope you enjoy the chapter! ✨

That Alec was embarrassingly whipped was not really a secret, but sometimes the actual extent of how much he cared for Magnus would hit him like a slap in the face and he would wonder if it was normal - normal to feel so strongly for someone and not feel like it was enough all at the same time.

Alec did not make it unknown though, he would gladly stare at Magnus for no reason other than to stare at him. He would hold his hand whenever he could and he would kiss him as much as the context would allow. He would gladly follow him around, inside clothing stores, to different types of beauty-salons and listen to him ramble on about issues in the world of linguistics simply because Alec loved him, and everything Magnus did was mind-blowingly extraordinary to him.

This, however, did not mean that Alec could not recognise that Magnus was admittedly odd sometimes, because honestly, the man was a strange and oddly endearing force to be reckoned with. For instance, Magnus often spoke to himself in languages Alec had never heard of, he often read about strange mythical creatures and he loved reading about demonic entities and haunted locations. The latter, as it turned out, was the inspiration for their next day out in London and despite Alec’s infatuation with the slightly crazy man, he was less than thrilled about the twisted turn their trip had taken.

“You know I love you-” Alec said from where he was leaning against the doorframe of the en suite bathroom, idly twiddling his thumbs as he watched Magnus get ready. “-but this is crazy” he reasoned and gestured with his hand nonchalantly, eyeing the man before him with a strained grimace - Magnus was dressed in nothing but a silk robe and he was leaning over the countertop to get a better look at the eyeliner he was busy applying. He looked absolutely gorgeous in the morning sunlight and Alec had to close his eyes momentarily to retrace the core of his argument.

“And you know I love you too but you’re wrong, Alec. This isn’t crazy, it’s fun” Magnus said casually and continued to apply the black gel liner effortlessly, the muscles in his legs contracting attractively as he leaned even closer to the mirror.

“Right-“ Alec mumbled doubtfully and licked his lips quickly. “-it can hardly be safe to go to these locations though. Especially at night, Mags” Alec reasoned softly but his concern was met with a sound of endearment leaving Magnus’s lips, the shorter man huffing out a laugh as he smiled sweetly at Alec. “Murderers, robbers, crazy teenagers...“ Alec trailed off and gave Magnus a look that said ‘I’m right and you know it’.

“You’re adorable, my love. But we’ll be fine. Besides, my ass kicking skills are off the charts” Magnus murmured somewhat seductively and put the eyeliner down before walking over to Alec and resting his hands on his hips, glancing up at him with a hair-raising look in his eyes. “I’ve got you. I won’t let any ghosts kill you”

“Shut up” Alec muttered and smiled down at the man, his attempts at a frown thrown out the window when Magnus leaned up and pressed their lips together. It was practised and familiar but it felt as if it were the first time all at once. “I don’t believe in ghosts, I’m an intellectual” Alec teased after a while and smirked victoriously when Magnus snorted at his comment, the half naked man smacking him lightly on the arm before pouting adorably at him.

“It’s considered unwise to deny their existence, Alexander. They will possess you” Magnus warned seriously, his breath tickling Alec’s face as the taller man closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against Magnus’s. “And it would be a terrible shame if you were taken away from me now. We have so much left to do” Magnus whispered into his mouth and while the taller man realised that he was joking, the words tugged comfortingly at Alec’s heart - Alec would passionately deny it to his dying day but the comment even made him titter and Alec Lightwood did not, under any circumstances, titter.

Staring down at the man before him, Alec discerned that Magnus was like something out of a novel - smart, loving, complicated and brave. He had his good days and he had his bad days and despite what the man did, Alec never once felt anything but overwhelming love for him. It was all rooted in the way Magnus looked at him, and in the way he would laugh wholeheartedly at the simple things Alec said. It was because of the way Magnus’s brain worked, how ridiculously intelligent he was and his unwavering focus - on both Alec, his job and important issues in society.

But mostly, it was because of how courageous he was - so unapologetically himself that it put the whole world to shame. Alec, from where he was staring at Magnus shamelessly intensively, wholeheartedly believed that nothing had ever, nor would anything ever, compare to Magnus Bane.

Blinking back to reality, Alec wrapped his arms around Magnus’s shoulders and squeezed tightly, breathing in his scent and pressing a kiss to his temple. “Fine” Alec unsurprisingly gave in and chuckled when Magnus cheered softy, feeling his painted fingernails trace intricate patterns into his biceps. “But if I die that’s on you” Alec said and took a step back, playfully jabbing a finger in Magnus’s bare chest and giving him a stern look.

His efforts to sound intimidating and convincing seemed unnecessary, however, because Magnus just cooed at him and caressed his cheek slowly, his eyeliner perfect where his eyes stared back at him. “I have a surprise for you” Magnus breathed suddenly and grabbed Alec’s wrist, hastily pulling him out of the bathroom and towards the unmade bed where Magnus’s laptop was open.

Alec furrowed his brows when the shorter man let go of him and seated himself on the bed, typing away at the keyboard before glancing up at Alec, his eyes bright as he raised his brows innocently. “I still need to fix my hair. Be a dear and refrain from looking at the documents displayed on my laptop, Alexander” Magnus smirked as he got up from the bed and pressed a kiss to Alec’s cheek, swaying his hips as the taller man’s eyes trailed after him when he disappeared into the bathroom.

Curious and confused, Alec took a step towards the bed and reached for the laptop, scanning the various documents and feeling the breath catch in his throat when he realised what they were - the end of year reports from his course. Alec wasn’t sure why Magnus had these documents, although he figured that his boyfriend had some serious clearance at the university since he was one of their biggest assets - young, attractive, incredibly smart, great with students. Narrowing his eyes as he continued reading the various comments, feedback, and percentages, his heart stopped and he felt tears sting his eyes when his final grade stared back at him.

**99%**

Wiping slowly at his eyes and putting the laptop carelessly onto the bed, Alec took a seat on the covers and put his head in his hands.

Alec was destined to be an overachieving perfectionist, he was the eldest after all so the results were not entirely surprising to him. Having come out as gay, however, and feeling like he had disappointed not only his parents but permanently damaged his family’s reputation, seeing concrete evidence that all the hard work had paid off made him feel lighter than he thought anything but Magnus ever could. It was a relief knowing that he was capable of near perfection and while Alec never allowed his grades to affect his self-worth, it made him burst with pride nonetheless. Taking a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself down slightly, Alec felt a soft hand on his shirt-clad back that caressed his shoulders so lightly that he wondered if it thought he was made of glass.

“How awe-inspiringly extraordinary you are” Magnus said breathlessly and Alec lifted his head to glance up at him. Magnus had looked at him in various ways since they first met - angrily, sadly, happily, lovingly, sinfully even - , but the look in his eyes at that moment was filled with an unmounted pride that took Alec’s breath away. “You did it. You beat all the other students. That’s the best grade of your course and of your year” Magnus muttered chokingly and brought Alec’s face to his, his smile wide and his eyes glassy as Alec stared back at him. “Well done, I know how hard you’ve worked”

Choking out a wet laugh, Alec pressed his lips to Magnus’s and felt himself melt into the touch. It was rushed and full of need and before Alec knew it, his hands had pushed the other man’s silk robe off his shoulders and he could not be entirely sure but he thought he felt the hair on Magnus’s arms stand up when the robe landed on the bed. “How did you get those documents?” Alec wondered between kisses, gasping softly when the shorter man’s skilled fingers grabbed at his shirt and tugged it over his head in one go.

“The perks of being me are wild and beyond your understanding” Magnus murmured against his lips, his hands exploring his chest and Alec let himself moan into his mouth because it had been too long since they had done this. Much too long. “And all the senior lecturers can access the documents” he admitted softy and pushed Alec down onto his back, the taller man watching in bewilderment as Magnus gracefully positioned himself on top of him.

“You weren’t allowed to show them to me, were you?” Alec smirked and pulled Magnus’s mouth to his own once more, tangling his fingers in his freshly styled hair and realising that he did not even care if Magnus would scold him for it later - although judging from the small whimpers that left his mouth, Magnus certainly did not seem to mind.

“It was an accident” Magnus moaned when Alec sucked at his neck, his breath hot against Alec’s ear as he chuckled quietly. “Sue me” he breathed.

Within minutes, they were all hands, lips and moans until Alec, during a brief moment of clarity, carefully pushed Magnus back and looked at him with a dazed expression, marvelling at his red and kiss swollen lips as he cleared his throat.

“You took a pill today, Magnus. The doctor said we couldn’t do anything until you could go a d-“ Alec shut is eyes and trailed off involuntarily, moving his hands to Magnus’s naked back as the other man left a trail of kisses down his bare chest, his fingers moving familiarly down his arms as he essentially ignored Alec’s concerns.

“Shh. It’s been over a week. Stop worrying” Magnus breathed and Alec trembled beneath his touch, feeling heat rise to his cheeks as Magnus slowly drove him crazy.

The taller man could pretend to be surprised at what happened next, but predictably, Magnus was as unbothered about following the doctor’s instructions as he was about abusing his power as a lecturer - not that Alec was complaining, especially not when Magnus curled his fingers around Alec’s biceps and dropped his head to the taller man’s chest in pleasure as they moved together with an effortlessness that still took Alec’s breath away.

 

———

 

Later that evening, after a long and admittedly tiering day of wandering the streets of Westminster - among other more—personal prior engagements - , Alec and Magnus once again found themselves on the crowded underground - or tube, as Alec had been recursively informed that it was colloquially called.

“So where are we going?” Alec wondered as he glanced down at where Magnus was sitting, holding onto the yellow railing to steady himself as the train moved.

“We’re going to Greenwich” Magnus said cheerfully and Alec nodded slowly, tilting his head as he studied Magnus a bit more closely. He was wearing a light blue tight-fitting jacket, a burnt-orange shirt with old-fashioned ruffles, black dress trousers and a pair of spiked boots that Alec thought looked really nice. His hair was styled once again and his makeup was as flawless as ever as he stared up at Alec endearingly - the giddy and excited expression in his eyes enough to make Alec weak at the knees. “Sit down and I’ll tell you about it”

Glancing around and indeed seeing that he was the only one standing, Alec frowned down at the seat next to Magnus. It truly was filthy and Alec scrunched his nose as he saw a suspicious looking brown spot cover most of the flowery seat-cover. “No, not going to happen” he muttered and shook his head softly. Alec, an intellectual, recognised that he was being irrational but he could not shake the feeling that if he sat down, he might spontaneously combust.

“I think you might have OCPD” Magnus said casually and fiddled with his ear cuff, staring innocently at Alec as he gave a small pout.

“Oh yeah?” Alec smirked and nudged Magnus’s foot with his own, raising his eyebrows at the seated man and widening his eyes in question. “What’s that?”

“Obsessive compulsive personality disorder” Magnus explained nonchalantly and tugged at Alec’s bomber jacket, looking much too cute as he stared up at him.

“I do not” Alec said defensively while silently wondering if Magnus was right - he did have a thing for organisation, cleanliness and order and while he did not agree with it, people sometimes called him out for being a pain about it too.

“Prove it” Magnus said mischievously and Alec closed his eyes, silently cursing Magnus for knowing him so well. He knew very well that Alec’s absolute favourite thing was correcting people and was now using it so he could have a cuddle-buddy on the dirtiest train in the galaxy. Alec, of course, sat down within seconds. “See, that wasn’t so bad” Magnus smirked and grabbed Alec’s arm, resting his head on his shoulder and sighing contently. “So Greenwich-“

“Wait-“ Alec interrupted and Magnus turned his head to look at him, their noses so close that Alec could feel the other man’s breath on his face - he smelled like coffee and the croissant they had shared earlier. “-why are you so into all this stuff with demons, angels, supernatural beings?” Alec wondered softly and offered a small smile when Magnus furrowed his brows, seemingly deep in thought.

“Well, Antony Horowitz once said ‘I love the idea that magic and witchcraft and battles between supernatural creatures could be raging all around us but just out of our sight’. I guess I like that idea too, that we aren’t alone in this world. That there is something after death and that if we as humans cease to exist there are still beings that will remember what we achieved. Both the good and the bad” he said in a rush and Alec once again found himself awestruck at how Magnus’s brain worked.

“And you believe in ghosts?” Alec wondered quietly as he glanced around the semi-empty train carriage, himself and Magnus being two out of approximately fifteen other people as the train approached the next station. “Doesn’t it scare you?”

“It doesn’t scare me nearly as much as it excites me. Tough I’m not sure I believe in ghosts per say, although I want them to be real. Wouldn’t it be comforting if we could see the people we loved and outlived again? Even if they were just projections or waves of energy. To just see them one more time, wouldn’t that change everything?” Magnus reasoned and Alec squeezed his hand tightly, nuzzling his nose in his hair as he felt a wave of sadness overwhelm him, remembering with a heavy heart what Magnus had loved and lost in his life.

“I haven’t really thought about it” Alec admittedly quietly because it was true, he had not lost many people in his life and in a twisted way, it made him feel guilty.

“I think about it a lot” Magnus said and lifted his head from Alec’s shoulder. “I guess I’m odd that way”

“You’re odd in a lot of ways. That’s why I fell in love with you” Alec murmured as Magnus tugged him to his feet, holding onto the shorter man for dear life as the train once again came to a stop.

“As I was saying-“ Magnus muttered softly as he cleared his throat, blinking quickly before dragging Alec onto the platform at Bank station. “Greenwich is, I guess you could say very different from what you have seen so far of London. They have a slight rat problem that really-” Magnus started and just like that, the infamous historical monologue of Magnus Bane commenced and Alec smiled sweetly at the man as he continued retelling stories of haunted locations, scary sightings and the dark secrets hidden away in the London Underground.

A while later, after yet another trip on a different train - the DLR Alec believed it was called - they found themselves in what Alec suspected might have been literal hell on earth - Greenwich was much dirtier than Marble Arch and the rat to no-rat ratio was appalling.

“The Greenwich foot tunnel is about a five minute walk away. It really is incredible, Alexander. It runs beneath the Thames and we’ll exit on the south side” Magnus said and looked at his phone, google maps lighting up his face in that creepy kind of way as Alec leaned over his shoulder to look at the map as well.

“Lead the way” Alec said and swallowed thickly as Magnus guided them down a dark and narrow path, trees and bushes looming over them scarily as they huddled closer together.

Five minutes later, they indeed found themselvs standing by the long cast iron tunnel and it was nothing short of horrific. Its dimly lit passage looked like something out of a horror film and while it appeared that the two of them were the only pedestrians there, continuous noises of echoing footsteps were heard as they ventured further inside, Alec feeling a cold shiver run down his spine when there was a loud cackle coming from somewhere deep inside the tunnel.

“Apparently, there have been sightings of a woman in white walking the tunnel. Rumour has it, if you are by yourself or if you look closely enough into the distance, she will appear at midnight, which is perfect since it’s midnight now” Magnus whispered and he sounded impressed. Feeling his pulse quicken as he willed his eyes not to see the woman, Alec reached for Magnus’s hand on impulse, squeezing it tightly as he looked down at his feet.

After about ten minutes of relatively uneventful walking, Magnus stopped and looked up at Alec. “Did you hear that?” he whispered frantically, Alec listening a bit more carefully and closing his eyes when he heard the sound of dragging feet in the distance. “Holy shit” Magnus breathed and grabbed Alec’s arm tightly, his hands trembling as he breathed much too heavily for Alec’s comfort.

“No, no, no, Magnus. You can’t be scared. You’re all we’ve got” Alec hissed almost inaudibly and held onto Magnus even tighter as the dragging sound got closer, his heart beating so quickly that he honestly though it might stop. “What the hell is that sound?”

“Wait here” Magnus sighed and let go of Alec, taking a few steps further into the tunnel while Alec just stared at him with a terrified look in his eyes - as much as he did not want Magnus to be by himself, Alec, more than anything, did not want to be left alone.

“Where are you going? Come back” Alec demanded imperatively and started following Magnus, the sound of the dragging feet still audible from behind him and Alec, however cowardly or stupid he may have been, refused to turn around.

“Give me a minute, I want to s-“ Magnus said and looked over his shoulder, his jaw dropping open as he came to an immediate halt, his eyes staring at something behind Alec. Reluctantly, Alec turned his own head and the sight that greeted him would most assuredly haunt his dreams for as long as he lived.

Standing no more than three feet behind him was a man with a disturbingly wide grin covering his face, his eyes dark and wide, his hair tussled and he looked crazy - if the adjective could be personified. He was breathing heavily and Alec stumbled backwards out of instinct, his hands coming up defensively in front of him as the man dragged his feet across the ground, closer and closer to where Alec was standing.

“Get back, Alec” Magnus roared from where he was standing, the shorter man running over to the crazy man and Alec, scared and seemingly out of it as he was, had no idea what was going on. The next thing he knew, the guy was on the ground and Magnus was pressing his hand down in a strange grip with his knee resting on the guy’s chest, blindly grabbing at something that shone in the dim light - a knife. “Don’t touch him” Magnus hissed in his face and Alec took a small step towards the two men.

“I’ll touch you instead then” the man spat in an almost unintelligible accent and while Alec had never once been scared of Magnus, the cracking sound that echoed loudly in the tunnel as he twisted the man’s hand did terrify him more than he would ever admit.

“Do it, I dare you” Magnus threatened coldly.

“Magnus” Alec pleaded brokenly because he was scared, more terrified than he had ever been in his life. Unsurprisingly however, the two men ignored him completely and Alec scrambled backwards when Magnus was pushed onto his back, his face scrunched up in pain and Alec saw him clutch at his arm.

“That’s it” Magnus chuckled darkly as he got up on his feet as if nothing had happened, towering over the other man and within seconds there was the hair-raising sound of a punch, painful groaning and the horrifying sound of something metallic landing somewhere in the distance. Alec stood frozen and squinted at the scene before him when, out of nowhere it seemed, Magnus’s hand tugged at his shaking arm aggressively and pulled him away from the man on the ground much more rapidly than his senses could register. “Alright, we have to run” Magnus panted and started sprinting with Alec tight in his grip. “If you can, you always run in situations like these. Always. You hear me, Alec?”

“Yes, I hear you” Alec choked out and looked at Magnus who was sweating uncontrollably.

Eventually as they came to a stop at the other end of the tunnel, Magnus bent over slightly and hissed as he stomped his foot aggressively, muttering uncharacteristically disturbing profanities as he pulled at the sleeve of his jacket - blood. Averting his eyes, Alec felt a bit sick to his stomach as he slowly started coming to his senses - he was woefully ill equipped to deal with anyone’s blood but even more so when it was Magnus’s.

“Fuck” Magnus hissed, turning his face away from Alec and taking a few steps away from him.

“Oh God, are you okay?” Alec exclaimed hoarsely and immediately rushed over to Magnus who was clutching at his arm. “He cut your arm open. Magnus, we need to call the police” Alec gasped frantically and took his arm in his hands, examining where the knife appeared to have sliced through his jacket, his shirt and the top layers of his skin.

“Alexander, I’m fine. I told you, my ass kicking skills are extraordinary” Magnus winced when Alec patted the skin carefully, glaring at Alec who, needless to say, did not find it as heroic as the other man probably would have liked, smacking him lightly on the shoulder and giving him a scared look to prove his point. “What the hell?” Magnus groaned.

“You could have gotten seriously hurt” Alec breathed and pressed his lips together, pinching the bridge of his nose with trembling fingers as he bowed his head. “Magn-“

“Alexander, I’m not some fragile teenage delinquent. I’m a trained martial artist, I’ve been trained to defend myself for twenty years. You may worry about me but don’t waste it on whether or not I can take care of myself in a fight, please. He was ready to attack you, you know, and the cut is nothing serious. If you get cut you want it to be on top of your arm. Even so-“ Magnus muttered quietly, tugging at his jacket and revealing the wound for what it was - not nearly as bad as Alec had thought, thankfully. “-can I have your hand sanitiser, I do need to rinse it” he rolled his eyes and accepted the bottle Alec gave him, the taller man watching in horror as Magnus poured the liquid onto the open gash, feeling his heart throb painfully when the other man hissed loudly at the contact.

Startling both of them, the sudden ringing of a phone sounded loud and hysterical in the quiet night and Magnus dropped the bottle of hand sanitiser to the filthy ground as a result. “Can you get the phone?” he gestured and nodded at his pocket, Alec shakily reaching inside and grabbing the phone just as it stopped ringing while Magnus retrieved the bottle of gel that Alec now would have to discard.

The name that flashed bright on the screen - and an unread message that read ‘I’ll fix this, don’t worry’ - caught Alec’s immediate attention and he could not prevent the scowl that appeared on his face - whether it was out of confusion or slight shock Alec would never know. “Why is the New York State attorney general calling and texting you ‘not to worry’?” he breathed and gave Magnus a curious look, his eyes travelling over the missed call again and indeed confirming that Jack Asmodeus, the New York State attorney general had just called his boyfriend.

“What are you talking about?” Magnus whined from where he was patting his antibacterial-gel covered arm with his shirt, his hands shaking slightly and Alec presumed it was from the adrenaline currently cursing through his veins. Alec raised his eyebrows at him and showed him the missed call, hearing Magnus suck in a deep breath before he snatched the phone from Alec’s grip. “Alexander,” he began slowly and averted his eyes, bowing his head and pinching his nose habitually. “Jack is my biological father. I as-“ Magnus trailed off and looked at Alec with unsure eyes. “-I asked him to take a look at my case for the airline which is why he’s calling now. I didn’t know he was the state attorney g-“

“The New York State attorney general is your father and you want him to help you?” Alec wondered lowly and he could not help the small laugh that escaped his lips at the pure bizarreness of the situation. “Why didn’t you tell me this?”

“I haven’t been in contact with him for years and the night I heard that you made a deal with your bastard of a father, I needed to fix this on my own and Jack was the only person that I could think of. I thought about just dropping the case but I can’t sleep, Alexander” Magnus breathed and stared at Alec desperately. “I can’t sleep and I can’t eat and I can’t think about anything but fucking dying from the food I eat or the air I breathe and I need closure, but not at the expense of you. You hear me, I’ll fix this, me, by myself and for myself” Magnus snapped frustratedly and Alec took a step towards the man, resting a gentle hand on his shoulder as the rustling of the wind blew Magnus’s bangs down over his forehead - anew, Alec thought, he looked breathtaking.

“Magnus, you don’t have to explain yourself to me” Alec reassured softly before moving his hand to the other man’s cheek.”I was just surprised. My father worships Asmodeus, you know. Has for as long as I can remember. This is actually good news”

“Yeah, this is truly brilliant” Magnus muttered and dramatically turned on his heel to walk away from Alec, his shoulders hunched as Alec jogged to catch up with him.

“Wait, Magnus” he breathed as he followed after him, tugging him to a gentle stop and reaching for his own phone. Alec let his fingers quickly type a message to his father and before he knew it, there was a response.

 _To Robert:_ Letting you know that Jack Asmodeus will be finishing off Magnus’ case, thank you for your time and effort.

 **From Robert:** How on earth did you get Jack Asmodeus to help you with this petty case, Alec? Why did you not inform me of this when we spoken five days ago and your mother and I agreed to help?

 _To Robert:_ Magnus asked him the same evening and we were not sure if Jack would have the time to help him. Have a nice evening, sir.

 **From Robert:** I know Mr. Bane has his connections but it’s almost impossible to get him to do anything, let alone something as small as this at such short notice.

Smirking to himself and lowering the phone so Magnus could see too, Alec bit the inside of his cheek to stiffen a laugh as he wrote a quick reply, glancing at Magnus and smiling when he nodded tiredly.

 _To Robert:_ Oh, you don’t know? Jack Asmodeus is Magnus’ dad.

 **From Robert:** Alexander, I will be calling you in five minutes.

 _To Robert:_ I’m not available then, how about we schedule a phone call for tomorrow evening?

Alec smirked childishly rudely at the phone before turning to Magnus who in turn was smiling mischievously at the device. “And just like that, we have my father wrapped around our little fingers. Good riddance, Robert” Alec said and chuckled loudly, his eyes traveling the dark walk-way, the towering trees and his ears registering strange rustling sounds echoing in the distance. “Everything has a silver lining, Mags”

“That was very childish, my dear. Funny but childish” Magnus retorted but linked his healthy arm through Alec’s anyway, resting his head on his shoulder as he started guiding them towards a more populated area.

“Yet there’s nothing more childish than ignorance and prejudice” Alec muttered and jumped slightly when there was a loud ringing noise booming form behind them. “Alright, we need to get out of here. I don’t feel like getting stabbed, or worse, hit on”

“Well, your father will be pleased to know that, at the very least, you have your priorities straight” Magnus joked and huddled closer to Alec, the taller man wrapping his arm around his shoulders because it was getting cold and damp and Alec felt a sudden need to be as close to Magnus as possible - he presumed that was what happened when you watched your boyfriend fight off a madman.

“Are we calling Ragnor?” Alec wondered and kicked a rock with his foot as they walked past a dusty looking minivan, Alec’s eyes narrowing when he thought he saw somebody lurking behind the wheel.

“Absolutely not, he’ll never let me live this-“ Magnus gestured to his cut arm dramatically and rolled his eyes. “-down. We’re getting a taxi and when we get to the hotel I’m showing you how flexible marital arts makes you” he outrightly purred into Alec’s ear and the taller man literally stumbled over his own feet at the utterance, blindly falling forward and had it not been for Magnus’s strong arms, he would have landed face first on the filthy ground.

“Magnus” Alec exclaimed and laughed breathlessly as he regained his senses, glaring at Magnus before running a tired hand through his hair. “People might hear” he whispered irritably as he looked around nervously.

Truthfully though, Alec loved the little innuendos Magnus would carelessly let slip off his tongue. They felt intimate, loving, careful and he knew that they were meant for his ears only. Unable to resit, Alec pressed a kiss to Magnus’s temple as they reached a more populated road and when they eventually climbed into a taxi, Alec turned his entire body to face him, his face serious as he poked Magnus’s knee with a cold finger.

“Everything makes sense now” Alec mumbled and leaned his head against the back of the seat, resting his hand on the other man’s leg as he exhaled slowly. Magnus raised his eyebrows expectantly and the small smile on his face shone prettily in the dark. “Excellency runs in your blood. No wonder you’re the way you are” he finished and gestured at the shorter man with his fingers, the movement uncharacteristically Magnus-like.

“Don’t compare me to my father, please. Blood is binding and I don’t want to be anything like him” Magnus begged bitterly and Alec refrained from asking what he meant by that - Asmodeus, from what Alec had heard, was a good and honourable man. ”I should have told you this earlier. About my dad, about the request, I’m so-“

“You need to stop apologising” Alec muttered and crossed his legs, tilting his head slightly to glance out of the window and up at the cloudy sky that looked heavier than he thought was possible. “I get what you mean. But blood doesn’t determine who you become. And whilst we’re at it, I think you’ll be a pretty great dad, nothing like yours. You’d never leave” Alec whispered into the dark, feeling Magnus drop his head to his shoulder.

“I always thought so” Magnus breathed and there was not an ounce of doubt in his voice. “I’ve always wanted kids, you know”

“Me too” Alec confessed and he realised as he said it that he had never admitted that to anyone before.

“You’ll be a great dad someday, Alexander” Magnus whispered before tilting his head and as Alec looked down to meet his eyes, everything in the galaxy was suddenly put to shame. Admittedly, Alec recognised that he was biased, but the look on Magnus’s face shone so brightly in the dim light that it gave the moon, the stars and the entire universe a run for their money - he had never seen anything more mesmerising in his life and he would be lying if said that it wasn’t the best feeling in the world, looking at someone and feeling like the luckiest person in the entire Milky Way.

 

——-

 

Magnus, some time later as Alec walked before him towards the hotel, felt his heart flutter in that forever kind of way that made him feel disconcertedly lightheaded.

All of a sudden, when his eyes landed on the way Alec held himself, the way he walked more confidently since he saw his grade that morning, and the way his hair got messed up in the wind, his heart beat for more than just the purpose of beating. Irrevocably, Magnus had known from the moment he first laid eyes on Alec that he was stupendous, but in the darkness of the night he just seemed different - so fearless and all-powerful - and Magnus felt pride rise in his chest as he marvelled at the man.

Blaming that intense wave of affection and the remaining adrenaline from the fight, Magnus, much like a teenager in love, sprinted towards Alec and hugged him from behind, wrapping his disheveled arms around his chest and feeling Alec catch him carefully, the taller man bringing his hands under Magnus’s thighs to lift him up and support his weight on his back. It was unreasonably ridiculous - Magnus would normally have died of shame - but the sound of Alec laughing so loudly that he feared it might wake the other guests was nothing short of divine.

Loud and in love, they received a goofy smile from the half-asleep security guard as they stumbled into the lobby, and as Alec climbed up the stairs and as their giggles echoed throughout the quiet hallways, nothing but exuberant joy poured through Magnus’s veins and he felt happier than he had in a long time.

“I can’t believe we almost got murdered tonight” Alec laughed hysterically and Magnus squeezed onto him even tighter.

“God, don’t ever trust me again. Though I’m so damn happy that he wasn’t a ghost” Magnus giggled into his neck.

Holding onto Alec’s tall stature as they eventually made it to the door, and laughing so loudly that his stomach physically hurt from the sensation, Magnus was reminded of a quote from the Perks of Being a Wallflower as the taller man flung him on the bed and crawled up next to him. 

“ _There's nothing like deep breaths after laughing that hard. Nothing in the world like a sore stomach for the right reasons._ ”

Giggling tiredly while trying to catch his breath, Magnus once again glanced up at the chandelier that he had come to know much too well. It was dimmed, the lightbulbs only lighting up the room enough for him to register his surroundings but it was sufficient for it to blindingly stand out in the dark. Turning his head and looking at the man next to him, his tussled hair, his flustered cheeks and his wide smile, Magnus thought that Alec too was like a chandelier - beautiful, head-turning, the centrepiece of every room and a pilar of light that could shine softly or brightly depending on the context.

Love was also like a chandelier in ways, Magnus supposed as he turned on his side and sneaked his arm around Alec’s waist. It was intimidating and its beauty made you incredibly vulnerable - Magnus knew that better than anyone - but more than anything, the light love radiated made you brave and as he ran his trembling fingers through Alec’s hair and as he felt a trickle of blood run down his arm from the cut, Magnus had never felt more fearless. It really was pulchritudinous, he mused as Alec leaned down to press a kiss to his cheek, to be so ridiculously in love with someone as wondrous as Alec.

Amusingly, that’s how they chose to spend the rest of the night, fully clothed in boots and coats but together and complicatedly intertwined on top of the covers. The curtains were wide open and even when the sun started casting rays of light to remind them of yet another day, they were left alone in a type of blissful unawareness that seemed to appear when they were together. Breaths and kisses and touches and soft words were exchanged into the early morning and Magnus realised, as his brain refused to let him sleep and as Alec snored softy into his cheek after hours of nothing but sappy declarations of love, that everything would be okay.

Not instantaneously but eventually, especially if living felt as breathtakingly exuberant as it did in that moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “I guess I’m odd that way”  
> “You’re odd in a lot of ways”  
> \- Shadowhunters 3x05.
> 
> Do you think Magnus’ dad is an honourable man? And do you think Robert will treat Magnus any differently now?
> 
> Thank you for reading! ✨


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy this chapter. I’ve been away on holiday so I apologise for how late it’s being posted. ❤️

“Your dad has an—unusual last name” Alec stated perplexedly as he glared at his laptop, his lip wedged between his teeth as his eyes scanned the Wikipedia page before him. It was five days after their visit to the haunted tunnel and Alec had only just caught on to the reality that Magnus’s dad was indeed the New York State attorney general - the news shockingly interesting since Jack Asmodeus was considered lawyer royalty. “Fittingly, Asmodeus is supposedly the name of one of the seven princes of hell. Who knew?” Alec chuckled and glanced down at Magnus who was sprawled out next to him on the bed, his hair scattered sloppily over his eyes and his lips parted. The man hummed a sound of acknowledged agreement and nuzzled his nose further into Alec’s thigh.

It was around 2 PM and the London sun was beaming in prettily through the curtains, the warm breeze from the open windows and the chipping birds from Hyde Park leaving the ambiance of the room calm and nourishing - a sacred rarity both in New York and London. Unsurprisingly, Magnus looked absolutely breathtaking where he lay, his tan skin glowing a neutral gold in the warm light and his toned arms relaxed as he traced patterns of undetermined shape into Alec’s trouser-clad legs, his movements slow and uneven and Alec could tell that he was falling asleep.

Prevailingly, Alec could with a light heart admit that, despite the various setbacks, their trip to London had been a success - especially once the first week had passed. They spent the days enjoying the culture, visiting historical buildings and manor houses and the evenings in the inner parts of the city, enjoying musicals and plays and restaurants and pubs. London was inexplicably one of the most beautiful cities Alec had ever visited and he knew that he would always remember the excitement in Magnus’s eyes when he showed him everything - the ways in which his eyes would shine so brilliantly when he recalled his stories and anecdotes.

Magnus, and the city, had left a lasting indent on his heart and he had told Izzy over and over again on the phone that he kept falling more and more in love. With everything.

Even so - and even though Alec would cherish the trip for years to come -, there had been moments of absolute misery as well, where Alec‘s heart would break, recursively and painfully. It would break because of the soft whimpers audible in the dead of night, the ones Magnus would try to hide from him when the early dawn came upon them. It would shatter because of the way Magnus left the hotel room in the middle of the night to run around the city, and it would burst because of the way the man’s screams echoed all the way from Hyde Park, heart wrenchingly loud cries sounding in the early mornings. Magnus did not think they could be heard from the hotel but Alec had heard all of them, every single one.

Alec had know pain before, physical and psychological, but nothing had ever prepared him for the despair that came with watching someone you loved hurting as badly as Magnus was. It was truly awful.

Luckily though, everything had gotten better when the memories of, and the trauma from, the plane had started to fade. Magnus would eat without double checking every bite for traces of nuts, he would fall asleep and wake up next to Alec and the times when he did not, Magnus would sleep during the day instead, when the noise and the loud buzzing of the city kept unwanted thoughts at bay - and though Alec was glad that he appeared to be healing, he made sure to always be there for him nevertheless. In the middle of the night, out in the streets of London, for a minute or for five hours, whenever and however Magnus needed him, Alec made sure to be no more than an arm’s reach away.

That was why he was currently sitting on the bed, yet another sleepless night having disheveled Magnus into an exhausted mess, researching ‘Asmodeus the greater demon’ as the shorter man fell in and out of consciousness next to him, looking as gorgeous as ever.

“Prince of hell, that’s—interesting. Very fitting. I suppose he’s always been intimidat—ing” Magnus yawned and ant turned his body towards Alec, pressing himself against the taller man with a heavy sigh - his tank top scrunched up his back as he pressed a kiss to Alec’s thigh, his breaths warm and comforting on Alec’s leg.

Alec gave him a soft smile and leaned down to press a kiss to his forehead, huffing out a gentle breath when Magnus’s lips twisted into a small pout. “Sleep, Magnus” Alec whispered into his forehead and closed his eyes momentarily, inhaling the familiar scent of sandalwood and hairspray. Even though Magnus’s hair was loose and unstyled, there always seemed to be a lingering scent of the various products he used. He always smelled excellently.

“I can’t” he admitted huskily and moved impossibly closer to Alec, reaching around and resting his arm on top of Alec’s legs. “It’s—today’s not a great day, I’m afraid” he sighed and Alec could see the agony in his eyes, the way his gaze flickered uncertainly across Alec’s face as if he were trying to determine if what he was feeling was okay.

Shutting his laptop and scooting further down the bed, Alec lay down next to the man and intertwined their fingers, the metal from Magnus’s rings cold on his skin. “What can I do?” Alec wondered softly, kissing the back of Magnus’s hand and smelling his hand lotion - flowers and grass and citrus consuming Alec’s senses.

Shaking his head, Magnus closed his eyes and let out a breathless laugh, bringing his hands towards his eyes and pressing his palms against his golden browns irises. Form his position, Alec could see the small wear and tear of his nail polish, the small bits of chipped nail vanish that normally would have been taken care of before it became noticeable. He could see the red bracelet he had given Magnus, the pearls dangling prettily around his wrist and he could hear his breaths - close and incredibly intimate - and for whatever reason, Alec was hit by the realisation that this was the first time Magnus was, however indirectly, asking for help.

“I’m scared of dying, Alexander. I’ve never wanted to live more than I do right now. It terrifies me that it all can be ripped away at the blink of an eye” Magnus disclosed after a while, his tone low and vulnerable. His prosody was the type used among lovers in the middle of the night, when the rest of the world was at rest - a sound brought forth by a closeness that had been foreign to Alec before meeting Magnus.

“It’s okay to be scared, Magnus. After what happened to you it’s—understandable. But I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere and neither are you” Alec retorted softly, brushing his fingers against Magnus’s bare arm. His skin was so soft, no imperfections detectable and Alec observed the contrast between his slightly calloused fingertips and Magnus’s bicep. They were so different yet nothing had ever felt more right.

Inhaling sharply, Magnus shook his head slowly. “I’m so damn tired, Alexander. I ca—I can’t do anything—God. It’s pathetic“ Magnus covered his face with his hands and Alec could see his arms and fingers quiver, the soft tremors rocking through his body as Alec gently pried the man’s hands away from his eyes. They were beautifully brown, deprived of makeup but there were tears falling from them. Heavy and sad and God if it wasn’t the most painful thing Alec had seen.

“Oh Magnus” Alec muttered brokenly and moved to wipe away the tears, his heart beating quickly in his chest as Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec’s shoulders, hiding his face in the crook of his neck.

“I’m so tired, Alexander. I don’t know what to do” Magnus whimpered against Alec’s skin, sniffing loudly while Alec rocked him back and forth.

“I know Mags, I know” Alec whispered in return, caressing the hairs at his nape. “I wish there was something I could do”

“Will you sing to me?” Magnus choked out and Alec, decent but by no means excellent at singing, immediately starting racking his brain trying to think of something to hum. Closing his eyes and clearing his throat, he let the first words he could think of spill off his lips, soft and gentle as he alternated between pressing kisses into Magnus’s hair and pronouncing the sounds of the song.

_I know it hurts_   
_It's hard to breathe sometimes_   
_These nights are long_   
_You've lost the will to fight_

_Is anybody out there?_   
_Can you lead me to the light_   
_Is anybody out there?_   
_Tell me it'll all be alright_

_You are not alone_   
_I've been here the whole time singing you a song_   
_I will carry you, I will carry you_

“You know-” Alec began after the first chorus, his nose buried in Magnus’s hair and his hands caressing his back slowly. “-just because it’s happening inside your head doesn’t mean it’s any less real. Sometimes what we can’t see hurts more than the things we do see, simply because they are invisible to the world” Alec breathed as he felt Magnus move away from him, the man’s face blotchy and tear-stained as he looked at Alec with wide eyes.

“Did you just paraphrase a quote from Harry Potter, Alexander?” Magnus wondered, the sounds enunciated slightly strained as he tried, rather unsuccessfully, to breathe in through his nose.

“Maybe” Alec said and averted his eyes from Magnus, letting out a strained laugh as a blush crept its way up his neck. “Don’t judge me” Alec chuckled softly and he felt Magnus lay down on his chest again, his jet black hair tickling his chin ever so slightly as the most thrilling sound in the world echoed in the room, a soft giggle that was both coloured by the remains of tears and the beauty of hope.

“Oh I judge you” Magnus laughed quietly, his fingers wandering on Alec’s upper arm, the touches light and comforting and Alec almost forgot where they were or what day it was - Magnus tended to have that effect on him. “You do have a beautiful singing voice though, you know that right?” the man complimented, his painted fingernails carefully and suddenly caressing Alec’s adam’s apple as if he were trying to figure out its anatomy. “Soft, calming, beautiful” Magnus trialed off and pressed a quick kiss to Alec’s mouth, the salt from his tears lingering like cologne on Alec’s lips.

“Stop it” Alec muttered while another wave of heat coloured his face a deep scarlet, his eyes burning into Magnus’s with a type of fire that only arose from the most intimate moments. It was almost indescribably comfortable, being so close to a person - a type of euphoric sensation of love and understanding that left Alec a mess - and while Alec hurt because Magnus was hurting, these moments were irrevocably irreplaceable.

After a while of nothing but soft and gentle touches, hands in hair and lips on lips, Magnus pulled away and crossed his arms on top of Alec’s chest, giving the taller man a look filled with nothing but curious wonder. “When we’re like this you—you have an interesting affect on me, Alec Lightwood. You make everything better, somehow” Magnus admitted and Alec felt his heart flutter at the wide smile that spread across the other man’s face, his crinkled eyes and his white teeth stirring something within Alec and he briefly wondered if that feeling of overwhelming love would fade with time.

“Aere perennius” Alec said in a sudden and hushed voiced as he lifted his hand to cup Magnus’s face, his thumb caressing his cheek fondly as he observed him with a determined intensity - watching with a fond smile how Magnus looked down at Alec’s patterned shirt and how he smiled widely at the two Latin words Alec had uttered. Magnus was brilliant and Alec knew he had understood what they meant.

“‘More lasting than bronze’” Magnus translated and looked at Alec through his eyelashes, his lips pressed together as he raised a perfectly manicured eyebrow - there was a blinding glow caused by the sun hitting Magnus’s back and Alec was admittedly and momentarily distracted by how good he looked.

Clearing his throat, Alec brushed a loose strand of Magnus’s bangs behind his ear. “In case you wonder how I see you. Who you are, how you make me feel. You will outlive this world, Magnus. More lasting that bronze” Alec admitted confidently and brushed his fingers over Magnus’s lips, the softness of the skin inviting and Alec let his eyes burn into the other man’s, his hazel eyes firm and convincing.

Swallowing loudly and huffing out a breathless laugh, Magnus pushed himself off Alec’s chest and sat up slowly, his back cracking as he reached across the bed for his phone, his expression unreadable. “Do you remember the song I showed you back when we first got together? When we were sitting on the bench outside of the university?” Magnus asked and Alec sat up straight to move closer to him, watching from above how he searched through Spotify.

Suddenly, filling the room was the sound of a soft guitar playing, a familiar male voice echoing in the quietness of the hotel room and Alec nodded his head as the first verse commenced - the words unintelligible to him but he would remember anything Magnus showed him. “Of course, you could not stop humming it even if you tried” Alec said and nudged Magnus’s leg with his own.

Smiling up at him, Magnus fast-tracked to the middle of the song, the chorus now loud and pretty and Magnus sang along, the way his voice sounded as he pronounced the Spanish words absolutely beautiful to Alec. “Yo quiero un mundo contigo” Magnus sang softy and stopped the song before looking at Alec. “Do you remember when I said it was my favourite line?”

“And you would not for the life of you tell me what it meant” Alec remembered and gave Magnus an overdramatic look, watching with wide eyes how Magnus tossed his phone to the side and grabbed both his hands in his, the movement calculated and careful and Alec’s breath stuttered in his throat.

“Well, it means ‘I want a world with you’” Magnus admitted and touched his spiderweb ear cuff like he frequently did when he was nervous or anxious. “I didn’t want to tell you because I was afraid to scare you away” he confessed uncharacteristically insecurely and Alec marvelled at the blush that tinted his neck and face, scrunching his brows together and snorting loudly at the slight absurdity of Magnus’s concern.

“Why on earth would that scare me away?” Alec chuckled softly, squinting at Magnus with confused eyes.

“Because for me, Alexander, the meaning was directed at you. I already knew, even back then, that I didn’t want to live without you. I didn’t want to have to explain that to you in case you ran away and accidentally, I don’t know, broke my heart” Magnus said breathlessly and Alec felt a wave of affection overwhelm him, the way Magnus looked away from him unsure and careful and Alec would not admit it to anyone but he felt a sense of pride at how Magnus acted around him - as if Alec was so important that every movement and word pronounced needed to be executed with intent.

“Are you kidding me, I felt it too, Magnus. Passion, obsession, a need for this one incredible person” Alec trailed off and he heard Magnus titter adorably, bright and beautiful in the afternoon sunlight. “I had never felt that way before, about anyone. I fell so deeply in love with you it’s—it’s actually ridiculous” he mumbled and gave Magnus’s cheek a small peck, the shorter man’s beard scruffy against Alec’s cheek.

“Alexander?” Magnus managed to say as he looked back at Alec, his brows furrowed ever so slightly. “I think-“ he said and shook his head again, letting out a soft laugh and averting his eyes quickly.

“Hm?” Alec hummed reassuringly, resting a gentle hand on the man’s shoulder and squeezing it lightly when Magnus rested his hand on top of his.

“I want to go home. Back to New York” he admitted and glanced at Alec over his shoulder, his eyes suddenly very tired.

“Okay” Alec said slowly, the slightest bit taken aback by the suggestion. He knew that Magnus adored London, absolutely loved the city and the people there with all his heart but he supposed that flying back sooner rather than later might help with the memories - after all, thinking about flying all the time could not do anyone any good, especially if you died, however momentarily, the last time you were thousands of feet up in the air. “I—yeah, of course. Whatever you need”

“The world does not deserve you, you know” he smiled as he leaned against Alec, his ear cuff scratching Alec’s cheek as the taller man wrapped his arms around him from behind, pressing his nose firmly against Magnus’s temple.

“The world already has me” Alec said and reached out to caress Magnus’s wrist softly.“We’ll make it through this, one step at a time” he promised and stood up from the bed, tugging Magnus to his feet and resting his hands on his shoulders.

“I know, it’s just-“

“-hard?”

“Yeah” Magnus nodded and Alec pulled him closer, his hands on Magnus’s waist as he swayed them back and forth. Alec was a questionable dancer, two left feet despite his years of attending formal dances, and even if Magnus noticed he had the decency not to mention it - which by any standard was admirable. Instead, Magnus took over, his strong grip leading them around the hotel room, the way his shoulders were proud, his smile wide and his eyes bright making Alec believe his own words. Everything would be okay, especially with dance and music. The world had nothing on them.

Tilting his head down, Alec pressed a kiss to Magnus’s forehead and had it not been for the clumsy misstep a mere second later, and the way the two men fell head first towards the carpeted floor, Alec would have marvelled at the beauty of the moment. Their ungraceful fall was loud and while it hurt more than Alec liked to admit, he found himself gasping for air, laughter spilling out of him as he desperately reached for Magnus who appeared to be curling in on himself, shoulders shaking from the quiet type of hysterical laughter that left you breathless.

It had been two weeks and five days since they flew to London. Two weeks of ups and downs, pain and sorrow, happiness and moments that would last a lifetime, and when Magnus turned towards him, tears from laughter shining in his eyes, Alec realised that he would do it all over again - minus the dying part because he never wanted to see that ever again.

“You alright?” Alec asked in between laughing, rolling over and tugging Magnus towards him, feeling his heart strum quickly against his own. The floor was clean, the pale pink carpet surprisingly fluffy and it smelled of detergent which always left Alec feeling at ease.

“Yeah” Magnus chuckled and his hands found themselves to the back of Alec’s head, massaging his scalp softly while still huffing out laughs every so often. “So-“ Magnus whispered after a while. “-before we left you asked me to move in with you”

“I did” Alec remembered with a fond smile. He had not thought about it much since they arrived in London, his mind preoccupied elsewhere, but the mere thought made him unhealthily lightheaded. Living with Magnus Bane, he liked the sound of that. “The offer still stands”

“You sure?” Magnus grinned, teeth and all, and Alec nodded his head, unable to do anything else. “How I love you, Alec” the shorter man whispered after a moment or two, his arms locked admittedly uncomfortably behind Alec’s back. Eventually, when the sun’s rays moved around the room and when the birds’ chippers echoed more distantly, the two men appeared to remain the only constant - on the floor, in a beautiful hotel suite so close that it was hard to tell where one ended and the other one began.

 

———

 

After that, everything happened in the blink on an eye. The flights were booked, their bags packed and before they knew it, they were back in New York - safe and relatively sound.

It was cold, however, when they stepped out of the airport and Alec carted their luggage behind him while Magnus carried their laptop bags on his shoulders along with their hand luggage. The flight had gone by incredibly smoothly - both Magnus and Alec had been asleep for most of it - and nothing out of the ordinary had happened which was why it felt even better to be back in the City, where the loud buzzing of the night was even more noticeable than in London.

The skies were clear, despite the later hour, and Alec was not quite sure what it was - he could very well be imagining it - but there was a distinct smell to New York. It was familiar, slightly polluted, and strangely floral and Alec smiled to himself when he could see the skyline in the far distance. London was beautiful but New York was home.

Huffing out a laugh, he looked over his shoulder to smile at Magnus. Back in New York the man looked a bit different for some reason, thinner than before they had left. It was visible in the shadowing beneath his cheekbones, in how prominent his collarbones were but do not get him wrong, the man still looked muscular. Nothing, Alec gathered, could take that away from him.

He was wearing one of Alec’s white T-shirts - which was surprising since Magnus often had complaints about Alec’s clothes -, a pair of khaki green trousers and brown boots. His hair was deprived of any product while loosely hanging down his forehead and his eyes were covered by his favourite pair of sunglasses, the man looking breathtaking where he gazed back at Alec. He looked, for the lack of a better phrase, like a regular guy - no makeup, no fancy hairstyle, no blazer or glitter and he was, irrefutably, the best looking regular-looking guy Alec had ever seen.

“Taxi or rental car, Alexander?” Magnus muttered and jogged to catch his up with Alec, giving him a small smile and nodding his head in the direction of a sketchy looking car-rental place. “It’s late, I know what you’re thinking but nobody is going to want to pick us up at this ungodly hour”

Sighing to himself, Alec knew that he was right. It was around 2 AM and while the drive from the airport to their apartment building was short, asking anyone to drive in the middle of the night seemed to violate every social protocol ever laid out by anyone. “Fine, but if we get a rental car you’ll have to drive. You need to be 25” Alec said and gestured to the sign in front of the shop.

**CAR RENTAL AGE REQUIREMENT: 25**

“I can’t drive, you’re well aware that I drank a whole bottle of whisky on that plane, darling” Magnus chucked and touched Alec’s arm gently. “I’m sorry, I should have planned better” he said and Alec looked out into the darkness, the only light coming from the airport behind them and the neon signs from the various restaurants and car-rental places.

“Don‘t worry about it. It helped you sleep. We’ll get a cab“ Alec reassured softly and winked at Magnus, his eyes lingering on the tiny goosebumps forming on his tanned arms as he smiled back at Alec. Leaning down and pressing a kiss to Magnus’s cheek, Alec removed his coat and felt the cool air hit his shirt-clad arms as he gently hung the bomber-jacket over Magnus’s shoulders. “You looked cold” Alec reasoned and cupped Magnus’s cheek. The expression on the other man’s face was intimately familiar yet Alec had not found an adjective that described it adequately - it was almost a mix of pain and relief and love -, and it warmed his heart. Honestly, at that point, most things Magnus did made his heart, however over-dramatically, skip a beat.

For a good few minutes, Alec let his gaze linger on the various lights from different cars and apartments, on the blinking lights in the sky from airplanes taking off and landing. It seemed obvious, when it was laid out so bluntly before him, that the best thing about the city was that it quite literally never slept. There were people awake at all times, cars honking and drunks shouting and it was comforting to know that, on particularly dark and stormy nights, that you were never completely alone - Alec suspected that was one of the reasons Magnus wanted to return to New York two weeks early.

Blinking back to reality, Alec was embarrassingly startled when a taxi pulled up in front of them, a kind-looking man stepping out and grabbing their whole luggage while skilfully loading the car with all their bits and pieces. He was nice, unexpectedly kind considering the late hour, and the short drive was spent phatically communicating about why they were at the airport, if they were visiting and about their time in London. Alec was not entirely sure if it was the talking or the way Magnus’s fingers massaged his hand so sinfully well that made the trip to their apartment fly by, but before he knew it, the car was parked and they had to get out.

It all looked the same, although Alec could’ve phantom why it would not. The doorman was smiling sweetly at them, the lobby lights were bright and inviting and even the clean smell in the elevator and the smell of cooked food were the same as before they had left. It was like the world had stopped just for them and while impressively delusional, the thought was strangely comforting.

Entering the elevator and pressing the button to their floor, Magnus and Alec looked at each other. They shared one of those couple-y gazes, a type of quiet observation that was both reassuring and gentle and it was so intimate that it felt uncomfortable in the small elevator. Two pairs of eyes observing each other with so much love that it made Alec feel like the luckiest damn person in the entire universe.

The hallway looked the same as well when they approached Alec’s apartment door, the only thing indicating that they had been away the fresh flower-arrangements hanging from the ceiling. Pushing their bags in front of him, Alec reached into the bag hanging from Magnus’s shoulder to retrieve the key and when he unlocked the door and took a step inside, he felt an unpredicted sense of panic - the realisation hitting him that he had been seconds away from having to come back to the apartment by himself because Magnus would have been dead.

It was as if it had never fully hit him before, that if there had been no doctors on the plane he would have had to figure out how to live without Magnus and without thinking, Alec dropped their bags to the floor and leaned himself against the wall, closing his eyes as he tried to stop himself from toppling over. The mere thought of a world without Magnus making his entire world spin uncontrollably beneath his feet.

“Are you alright, Alexander” Magnus’s soft voice sounded and Alec bit his lip hard enough to draw blood, nodding his head and breathing in heavily through his nose.

“Yeah” except, no. He was not. He could smell everything in the apartment, and it smelled so much like Magnus that it brought actual tears to his eyes - his scented candles, his cologne and his shampoo. He could see all of Magnus’s things scattered all around them as well, his various boots, his coats, the glass figure he had bought at an antique shop a few weeks prior to them leaving for London and he realised that coming back to that apartment, to all those things, with Magnus being gone would have permanently broken him. “I’m just so happy you’re here with me” he breathed after a while and forced a small smile, knowing it wouldn’t really reach his eyes.

Huffing out a choked breath, Magnus dropped his bags too and tugged him into a hug, his grip strong and crushing as he nuzzled his nose into the crook of Alec’s neck. “I know, sweetheart. Me too” he whispered and Alec closed his eyes, his throat closing in on him as he focused on the familiar smell of Magnus’s skin, the smell of their shared laundry detergent and the distinct smell of—them - a mix of Magnus’s sweet and Alec’s clinical smell. “Oh my god, Alec” Magnus exclaimed suddenly and cautiously moved away from him, gently pushing past Alec and linking their fingers together.

From where they were standing, there was a clear path of vision leading to the sitting room and despite the darkness, Alec found what Magnus was looking at. There on the floor was Mr. Chomsky, sitting as if he were waiting for them in the centre of the floor, looking as idly calm as ever.

“Why the hell is he here—?” Magnus trailed off and walked further into the apartment, tugging Alec behind him. As they entered the sitting room, both men came to an abrupt halt. Before them, littering the sofa and the coffee table, were probably around fifteen gift baskets of various shapes and sizes, at least a corresponding number of sealed envelopes and a large assortment of pretty and nice-smelling vases filled with fresh flowers. “What is all this?’

Letting go of Magnus’s hand, Alec turned on the lights and walked over to the piles of stuff, reaching for one of the envelopes and smiling to himself when it read ‘Magnus’. “It’s for you, I guess Izzy told everyone we were coming home today” Various skincare products, scented candles, chocolates and colognes were staring back at them and even Alec, who had no real idea about any of that stuff, found himself impressed with the various brands.

“Why are they for me?” Magnus wondered slowly and walked over to stand next to Alec, the taller man watching him with fond eyes as he also reached down to look at the various things. It was truly remarkable watching Magnus Bane. He had an unusually complex range of facial expressions and every time he was surprised or taken aback, he would furrows his brows, squint his eyes and form his lips into the most adorable o-shape imaginable. Magnus was many things - intelligent, muscular, sexy, kind - but above all, he was inexplicably endearing.

“Isn’t it obvious? They’ve been worried sick about you. Welcome home, Magnus” Alec said in a tone coloured by relief and content, pulling Magnus against his side and leaning down to kiss the surprised grin spreading across the man’s face. He tasted sweet and Alec loved him more then than he ever had before.

Later that morning, because it was 5 AM when they found themselves wrapped up next to each other in bed, Alec watched Magnus once more.

He observed the way his eyes fluttered closed in between conversations, how his lips would part as if he were falling asleep, and eventually, when it was more like day than morning, Alec tucked a strand and of Magnus’s bangs behind his ear as soft snores left his nose. Alec could not really describe it, the feeling in his chest when Magnus reached for him in his sleep, but it was a strange type of relief that washed over him and he found himself having to blink back tears yet again.

Magnus had so nearly been taken away from him and while a bit of time had passed, Alec had never felt more grateful to have the other man around. He needed him, just as Magnus needed Alec in return, and it was beautiful. It wasn’t more complicated than that.

Pressing a soft kiss to Magnus’s lips, Alec closed his eyes and nuzzled his nose into the man’s bare chest, smelling his body wash and cologne as he, too, drifted off into unconsciousness, his legs entangled with Magnus’s as he hummed contently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Carry You by Ruelle.  
> No Me Doy por Vencido by Luis Fonsi.  
> “Of course it’s happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?” - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.  
> “We’ll make it through this, one step at a time” Shadowhunters 3x04.


	21. Chapter 21

After a few hours of much needed sleep, Alec’s eyes fluttered open and he pushed himself up on his elbows in an attempt to wake himself up. It was late, the room was pitch back, the curtains were drawn shut and Magnus was nowhere to be found, the left side of the bed cold as if the other man had been up for hours.

That was highly unsurprising, however, since Magnus despised sleeping in. He always argued that sleeping away one’s life was inefficient, that dreaming prevented reality and all the wonderful opportunities reality entailed and while Alec disagreed to some extent, believing that dreaming and sleeping enabled great work and productivity, the man’s drive was wonderfully impressive. After all, Magnus was, and Alec figured that he always would be, a magnificent force to be reckoned with.

Sitting up slowly and squinting into the darkness, Alec lifted the covers off his bare legs and reached for his shirt on the floor. It was rumpled, incredibly creased and somewhat bad smelling but he tugged it over his head anyway, jumping off the bed and grabbing his phone in the process before walking out of the bedroom to find Magnus.

Exiting the room and letting his eyes wander around the sitting room, Alec furrowed his brows when it was dark and there were no signs of any movement, all their luggage opened and half empty in the centre of the floor. “Magnus?” he croaked out weakly, his voice hoarse as he glanced around the room slowly, eyes perking up when he noticed a small stream of light coming from the balcony.

Shuffling over, Alec opened the french doors and was met with a visual so striking that if he were a painter, he would have illustrated the scene before him and kept it forever. There, in the dim light coming from the tiny fairy lights Magnus had hung a few months back, were Magnus, curled up underneath a white blanked with a book and a cup of tea. He was wearing an orange loose-fitting silk top, a pair of dark grey and black striped dress trousers and a pair of his signature mesh socks, his brows furrowed and his lip wedged between his teeth as he turned a page of the book, completely oblivious to Alec’s presence.

“Hey” Alec breathed, his voice soft and he chuckled quietly when Magnus jumped in his seat, dropping the book and spilling some of his tea as he turned his head in Alec’s direction.

“Oh, you scared me, darling. I didn’t know you were up” Magnus said breathlessly, his voice light and gentle as he reached down to pick up his book. It wasn’t a particularly thick book and Alec recognised the back from somewhere, the colours and the font familiar but since Alec was not much of a reader outside of academic literature, he could not recall its name.

“What are you reading?’ Alec wondered and sat down on the loveseat next to Magnus, lifting the blanked and covering his own legs with it. Magnus handed him the book and Alec’s eyebrows rose in recognition. “ _Dante’s Inferno_ , huh? It looks old” Alec observed and looked a bit closer at the scruffy edges, the sun-bleached pages and the various rips and stains covering it.

“That’s because it is. It’s a copy of the first translation from Italian. I’m pretty sure this was translated in the—early 1800s” Magnus said proudly and looked at Alec with a soft smile. It was quite remarkable, Alec thought as he leaned forward to press a kiss to his lips, how one person could be so unfairly knowledgeable and ambitious.

“Is it any good?” he asked sleepily and rested his head on Magnus’s shoulder, nuzzling his nose into his neck and taking a deep breath in contentment.

“It’s _Dante’s Inferno_ , _the Divine Comedy_ , Alexander. It’s the single most excellent piece of literature this world has ever seen” he said and put the book down on the floor again along with his cup of tea, the normally steaming liquid seemingly lukewarm in the late summer night.

“I’ll take your word for it” Alec breathed and wrapped an arm around Magnus’s chest, the other man’s hands automatically wrapping around Alec’s bicep as he leaned down to press a kiss to his arm in return. “I love you”

“I love you, too” Magnus’s voice was soft and much gentler than when they were around other people. Alec was aware that his own voice also changed when he spoke to Magnus - Izzy had teased him about it for the first two months of their relationship - and in the beginning he had wondered why he changed the prosody of his voice, it seemed unreasonable to him at the time. Now, however, Alec understood perfectly well what the tone of one’s voice could do to someone and it felt extremely intimate to speak, and be spoken to, in a way that was reserved for just the two of them. It felt necessary.

“Thanks for unpacking the bags, by the way. You didn’t have to” Alec said and touched Magnus’s cheek, feeling his beard underneath his fingertips. He briefly wondered what Magnus would look like without a goatee, it was such a vastly Magnus thing that it was hard ito imagine him without it.

“No need to thank me, you know I don’t mind. Although there’s a slight problem” Magnus sing-songed nonchalantly, leaning into the touch. There was a spark in his eyes and Alec was not entirely sure why it radiated mischief.

“A problem. What problem?” Alec said concernedly and dropped his hand from the man’s face, resting it on his shoulder instead as he hoisted himself up into a more upright position.

“I think we’re going to be struggling with space when I move my stuff in here, Alec” Magnus commend casually and smoothed down a wrinkle in Alec’s shirt, patting him lightly on his chest before sitting back ever so slightly, Alec’s hand dropping from his shoulder.

“I hadn’t even thought about that. I can’t believe I didn’t think about that” Alec mumbled more to himself than to Magnus, his eyes wide and his mind racing because of course there wouldn’t be enough space. Between the two of them, they could fill an entire shop with bits and pieces, clothes and candles and Alec heard himself groan in frustration, running his hands through his hair as he looked away from Magnus.

“Hey, there’s no reason to freak out, okay? We just have to invest in some very space—conscious pieces of furniture” he said and caressed Alec’s cheek. “We should go to IKEA tomorrow, the Swedes really know a thing or two about organisation. Hm?” Magnus suggested and there was something about the way he said it that made Alec’s head stop spinning, the tone of his voice reassuring and confident.

“Are you sure? We just got back. And the jet-lag, you need to rest an-“

“Alexander, I’m fine. Besides-“ he said as he stood up, offering his hand for Alec to take. “-spending time with you is the best cure for just about anything” he said and winked sinfully at Alec, the taller man taking his hand and letting himself be pulled to his feet.

“I should have thought about the technicalities before asking you to move in. It would have made things easier, I’m sorry” Alec muttered but Magnus just pulled him inside, his hand firm in his as they came to a suddenly halt, Mr. Chomsky obstructing their way where he paced back and forth across the floor.

Magnus bent down to pick up the tiny creature, the aracnet seemingly impatient as it crawled up Magnus’s arm, up his neck and into his hair. The hair part still gave Alec nightmares, continuous and horrifying, but since Magnus seemed to enjoy it, Alec was in no position to pass judgement on it. But it was unsettling, especially when the spider moved unusually strangely, its large body clumsier than normal and Alec eyed it with more caution than usual.

“Beating yourself up over everything will be your downfall, Alexander. You are too kind for your own good” Magnus said slowly, his brows suddenly furrowing as he winced loudly. “Ouch, what the hell?” he muttered and reached for the spider, almost quite literally having to pry it away from where it had grabbed onto his hair. “What has gotten into you?” Magnus mumbled to Mr. Chomsky, his face serious and his eyes slightly moist as he looked at the spider in his hand. It was definitely bigger than before and Alec took a small step backwards when it raised its front legs, digging its poison free fangs into Magnus’s palm, making the shorter man cry out in pain.

“Put him down. Put him down” Alec ordered frantically and Magnus essentially dropped the spider onto the sofa, bringing his hand to his mouth and sucking at the bite. “What’s wrong with him? Does he not recognise you anymore?”

“I thought so earlier when he wouldn’t let me pick him up. But he’s heavier, Alexander. And doesn’t he look bigger to you? Not just fatter but—larger?” he muttered and glared at the spider currently disappearing between the decorative cushion on the sofa.

Taking a step forward again, Alec reached for Magnus’s hand and saw two tiny holes in the centre of his palm, the area around them red and irritated. “Yeah, and I’ve never seen him bite anyone before”

“It’s so unlike him. Unless-“ Magnus mused and walked around the sofa, lifting each cushion carefully, his back bent as he searched for the creature. Moments later, Magnus straightened his posture and the expression on his face was cold and guarded, carefully lifting one of the spider’s legs and looking at it intently. “-this isn’t Mr. Chomsky”

“What?” Alec exclaimed and walked over to them. “How is tha-?”

“Remember when we picked him up form the vet? He’d broken a leg and ever since he’s had this indent on his left front leg. This—thing doesn’t” Magnus breathed and Alec felt his heart drop, the expression on Magnus’s face murderous as he put the spider down and gazed back at Alec. “You convinced me that Jace and Clary could take care of him. You said they were good with animals. You sai-“

“Hey, hey” Alec exclaimed and grabbed Magnus by the arm when he tried to walk away, the shorter man’s head facing the floor as he breathed heavily. “If they’ve done something I’ll personally kill them” Alec said and squeezed Magnus’s shoulder, his tone high pitched and uneven as he strangled Jace in his mind. “But I’m sure it’s nothing. They wouldn’t be dumb enough to expect us to fall for a stunt like this. Switching things, that’s idiotic” and very Jace, Alec added to himself, his gut telling him that Jace and Clary were indeed that stupid.

——

 

“Guys, are you sure this isn’t some kind of real life conspiracy? Clary would never be that stupid” Simon exclaimed from behind Magnus in the backseat of the rental car, his hands resting on Magnus’s shoulders and Alec had to bite his lip to stop himself from laughing out loud when Magnus shrugged them away.

“Nothing’s been conspired. Your incompetent friends killed my spider, thought it would be an excellent idea to replace the spider with another spider like some kind of terrible teen drama. Then, as if all of that wasn’t bad enough, they just threw my actual spider in the trash and when I called them about it yesterday, Jace said he didn’t know what we were talking about. Preposterous, all of it” Magnus retorted irritably as he glared at Simon through the rearview mirror, both his hands resting comfortably on the steering wheel.

They were on their way to IKEA. Originally, Alec and Magnus were going by themselves but last minute, when Alec so foolishly had informed Izzy that they were furniture shopping and moving in together, she insisted on coming which resulted in Simon tagging along as well. Admittedly, allowing them to come had not been one of Alec’s brightest ideas.

“I can’t believe I trusted Jace and Clary” Alec muttered as he silently scolded himself yet again, resting his hand on Magnus’s shoulder and giving him an apologetic look.

“Don’t blame yourself, Alexander. You see the best in people, you’re very trusting. It’s admirable and I love you for it” Magnus reassured and while Alec did believe him, it was obvious that he was still furious about the situation. Not as furious as he had been the previous night - Alec had never seen anyone more upset and angry in his life - but still noticeably unhappy with generally everything. Which was understandable, really.

“You guys are so cute. Adorable really. Magnus, you’re so sweet when you’re not teaching” Simon said excitedly, his voice loud and chipper

Groaning and hitting his head gently against the car window, Alec closed his eyes momentarily. He wanted a quiet day with his boyfriend, shopping for furniture for their now shared home yet there he was, Simon speaking faster than the speed of light, Magnus driving the car like he had stolen it and Izzy insisting on picking the music, loud and obnoxious rap filling the car. “Remind me again why I let them come” he muttered to Magnus who just huffed out a small laugh.

“Because Isabelle is excellent company. And her taste in interior design is impeccable” his boyfriend said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Shaking his head in disagreement, Alec looked at him and could not help but smile. His hair was styled into his usual mohawk, his coal-lined eyes looked flawless and he was wearing the bright red scarf Alec had bough him. It went incredibly well with the navy and black patterned button up he was wearing - the one Alec always thought he looked incredible in - and it contrasted well with his dark slacks. Alec had never been interested in clothes but when it concerned Magnus, he couldn’t help but pay attention.

“You hear that, big brother. I’m excellent” Izzy said and Alec blinked back to reality, twisting his body to look over his shoulder, raising his eyebrows at his sister.

“Hm” he hummed which earned him a slap on the shoulder, his sister gasping impressively over-dramatically.

“So nobody cares that I’m here. What’s new?” Simon joked though Alec suspected there was a sense of truth to his words. Simon was always around but because he wasn’t insufferable like Jace and Clary, or loud like Izzy, he was oftentimes pushed to the side - which was a shame, Simon was relatively funny and he had definitely grown on Alec.

“You, my dear Simon, are the comic relief” Magnus reassured him and gave him a genuine smile through the mirror. “Very important when there are so many personalities involved in your group of friends”

“Alec, you hit the jackpot. He’s smart, he’s funny, he’s incredibly handsome and he likes me-”

“You think I’m handsome?” Magnus exclaimed and Alec would be damned if he could not detect a trace of pride in his voice. Simon was admittedly right but that didn’t stop Alec from rolling his eyes.

“I mean, yeah. You’re in good shape, you dress well, you always smell nice, you-“ the younger man rambled and Alec felt bad for him, not because of what he was saying but because never being able to shut up must be incredibly exhausting.

“Simon, breathe” Magnus giggled and Alec smirked at his boyfriend. “I’m flattered” he said and gave Alec a quick wink.

“Alright, alright” Alec chuckled and looked out the window. They were nearing IKEA and while it was a weekday there still appeared to be a slim selection of parking spaces big enough to fit the Jeep they had rented. “I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear a word of that”

“For the record, I think I hit the jackpot, too” Magnus announced happily as he clumsily steered the car into a narrow space, Alec automatically grabbing onto the door handle while glaring at Magnus. The man was good at so many things but driving had sadly proven not to be one of them.

“Hey, careful” he breathed and instinctively glanced at Izzy through the rearview mirror. She looked happy back there, holding Simon’s hand and when her eyes met his, she gave him a big smile.

“I’m always careful” Magnus mumbled as he killed the engine, unstrapping himself form the seat before turning to face Alec. He looked absolutely breathtaking as the sun hit his face and, for a brief moment, Alec found himself unable to speak.

Shaking his head, Alec huffed out a breathless laugh while unstrapping his seatbelt, reaching for his phone that was sat in the compartment between them. “That’s the biggest overstatement of the year” he muttered teasingly but gave Magnus’s cheek a quick peck before stepping out of the car, the warm sun hitting his bare arms comfortingly as he glanced around.

IKEA looked ginormous form the outside and he really feared that it would be even larger once they entered. “Help me, God” he exclaimed somewhat sarcastically as he linked his fingers with Magnus’s, feeling that familiar burning sensation in his chest when the shorter man rested his head on his shoulder.

 

——

 

Once inside, Alec realised relatively quickly that he and Magnus were unusually privileged. They shared the same taste in things - agreed on what they liked and disliked. For instance, they both liked the darker shade of oak, they both wanted dark sliding doors for the built in wardrobes, they disliked the idea of a pale sofa - when they had started talking about sofas Alec was not entirely sure - and they both really liked a royal blue bed frame, luxurious looking where it stood tall before them.

“We don’t need to get a bed. The one you have is as good as new” Magnus reasoned hesitantly, glancing up at Alec with a look that communicated the opposite of what he had just said.

Pressing his lips together, Alec bent down to touch it once again. “True. But it’s made of wood and this one—isn’t” he said slowly and gave Magnus a sideways glance. Judging from the blush that coloured Magnus’s cheeks, Alec knew he had entailed his implication accurately.

“Why does it matter if it’s made out of wood? You don’t sleep on the bed frame” Simon’s voice echoed from somewhere behind them, its prosody genuinely curious and Alec seriously contemplated scarring him for life and telling him the truth but, sadly, Izzy beat him to it - which Alec, in hindsight, was unapologetically grateful for.

“The bed mom and I got Alec probably makes too much noise when they have sex, isn’t that right boys?” she giggled nonchalantly and Magnus burst out laughing. It was funny, the expression on Simon’s face, but Alec had been serious and it was a valid concern of his - a and real concern of their downstairs neighbour who had, on more than one occasion, told them to ‘fuck quietly or to not fuck at all’.

“Ha, right. Well, then I suppose the suede royal blue one might be better” Simon choked out and did everything in his power to avoid making eye contact with anything but the floor.

“Exactly, and-” Izzy started and walked to stand between Alec and Magnus, resting her arms on the small of their backs. “-it feels very you. Luxurious, elegant but very minimal. It’s perfect” she whispered and rested her head on Alec’s arm, the taller man wrapping his arm around her in return and tugging her closer to his side.

That’s pretty much how the rest of their trip to IKEA went. They bought things they did not need, made Simon feel uncomfortable on more than one occasion, and when everything was ordered - the three large custom made wardrobes, the sofa, the bed frame, the new night stands, the new coffee table and the new TV stand - and the few pieces they could actually pick up that day - the ginormous cacti Magnus had insisted they get more specifically - were packed away safely in the car, the four of them took a united and deep breath.

“So, who’s hungry?” Simon wondered when they all climbed into the car, Alec, Magnus and Izzy all humming in acknowledgement as they drove away and towards the inner parts of the City.

 

————-

 

“Incredibly kind of Simon and Izzy to cook us dinner” Magnus smiled as Alec walked towards him, the taller man carrying two glasses of red whine, handing one to Magnus as he sat down next to him on the sofa. Magnus appeared to be a bit preoccupied, however, staring at the unknown spider sitting in the glass box on the coffee table. He looked sad, Alec noted, a different type of devastated than Alec had seen in his eyes in London.

“I’m sorry he’s gone” Alec whispered and squeezed Magnus’s leg, bumping their shoulders together and taking a small sip of the wine.

Lifting his legs towards his chest, Magnus leaned against Alec’s shoulder as he let out a heavy sigh, his fingers playing with the hem of Alec’s shirt. “I’d had him for ten years. I actually got him through exposure therapy” the man huffed out and Alec glanced down at him, his mouth partially hanging open in shock.

“You, Magnus Bane, went to exposure therapy? For arachnophobia?” he retorted perplexedly, his tone confused but happy and it delighted him when Magnus laughed against him, his breath hot on his shoulder.

“Yup. I had a pathological fear of spiders, I could barely leave the house. When I was fifteen, I was forced to go to therapy and the spider they exposed me to was Mr. Chomsky. The rest is history” Magnus said considerably bitterly, taking a large sip of his wine before looking up at Alec. His eyes shone like they always did, brilliantly and brightly, and Alec felt his face twist into that expression he knew he only used with Magnus. The one where he could feel all the muscles in his facial structure relaxing and it felt amazing, knowing you looked as in love as you felt.

“That’s crazy, I thought you loved all spiders” Alec exclaimed and took a large gulp of his wine, tasting the slight dryness of the liquid as it rolled down his tongue.

“No, just—just him” Magnus mumbled and Alec heard him sniff so softly that it was almost inaudible because of the chatter coming from their kitchen, the shorter man handing his wine glass to Alec to wipe away the stray tear rolling down his cheek. “God, I’m sorry” Magnus laughed softly, looking at Alec with furrowed brows.

Instead of answering - because he knew from experience that telling Magnus to stop apologising would be a waste of time - Alec leaned forward and pressed their lips together, putting the wine glasses down in the process. The kiss started out slow and gentle, their lips merely pressed together but almost as if something were pulling them closer together, it got deeper. Now Alec could feel Magnus’s tongue on his, his hands in his hair, his nose pressing firmly into his cheek as he returned the favour, the seemingly innocent moment turning very—uninnocent in a matter of minutes.

Soon enough, he could hear Magnus moan into his mouth, the sounds soft but full of want and before Alec realised what was happening, Magnus was straddling his lap, his knees pressing into Alec’s outer thighs. Alec was by no means innocent either - which would be pointed out at various points in the later discourse -, bringing his hands underneath Magnus’s shirt and pressing him closer to his chest.

Alec had no idea how long they sat there - it could have been five or fifty minutes for all he knew - the feeling of Magnus’s mouth against his so hypnotic that it was hard to calculate time and space. Normally, Alec would have been irrevocably embarrassed that he could not keep his hands to himself, but he had come to love being touched since meeting Magnus. His hands were always so gentle and careful and Alec had found himself loving touching him in return. It was like a well-calculated trade-off between giving and takin-

“Guys, dinner’s rea—Oh-” Alec blinked his lust-stricken eyes open, droopy eyelids obstructing his vision but he could see Simon standing there, shock written all over his face as he stared at them. “Dinner’s ready, uh, when you’re—ready” he stuttered before stumbling back into the kitchen, leaving the two men on the sofa amused and significantly less embarrassed than was normal, Alec assumed.

Breathing heavily, Magnus pressed one last kiss to Alec’s lips and leaned back slightly, resting their noses together. “Oh God—rain check?”

“Like you have to ask” Alec replied huskily and carefully pushed Magnus off his lap, standing up slowly and reaching down to help him up. They looked a mess - hair tussled, lips kiss swollen - but it was their apartment and they could do what the heck they wanted.

Despite the awkward start, however, the dinner was surpassingly pleasant, the food impressively edible considering Izzy had helped Simon cook, and it was truly enjoyable - the four of them conversing about everything from Simon’s linguistics major to the various stories from Alec and Magnus’s trip to London.

They were seated around the dining room table - tall candles lighting up the dimly lit room with Magnus and Alec on one side of the table and Simon and Izzy on the opposite - and between the red wine and the steak, Alec was having a brilliant time.

“Wait, you were attacked. Why didn’t you tell me?” Izzy exclaimed and pointed her fork in Alec’s direction.

“Isabelle, don’t blame your brother. I asked him not to tell you. I thought that it’d be better if you didn’t know that, on top of all the other disastrous things happening to us, we were almost robbed by some lunatic in a haunted tunnel. It was not mine nor Alexander’s finest moment. Right, darling?” Magnus explained and gave Alec a soft smile.

“It was not my finest moment but Magnus kicked some serious ass” Alec said and he could feel the pride radiating from his eyes.

“It was hardly any serious ass-kicking. Truly nothing worth reminiscing over“ Magnus argued modestly.

“He’s too humble. Magnus is a second black belt in Hapkido so when I say that he kicked that maniac’s ass, he kicked that maniac’s ass” Alec explained nonchalantly, gratification rising in his chest when Simon stared at Magnus with awe-filled eyes.

“Man, is there anything you can’t do?” Simon wondered and he looked genuinely interested to know the answer. Giving Magnus a sideways glance, Alec was surprised at the blush that had crept its way up his face. Why the genuinely brilliant people were always the most modest Alec had no idea but he squeezed Magnus’s leg under the table nevertheless.

“You make Alec so happy” Izzy said out of nowhere, Alec’s head twisting in her direction as he almost choked on the piece of food he had just swallowed in surprise. She was looking at Magnus and her brows were neatly furrowed as she observed him with an eye-watering gaze. “We want you to know, Magnus, that we’re so glad that you’re okay”

“Oh Isabelle. You didn’t have to worry about me. I’m not that easy to get rid of”

“But you’re family now, Magnus, and we all love you. That’s why we worried. This world would be so colourless without you. We all need you, Alec especially, and therefore we thank our lucky stars that you lived. Everyday” she said softly, her face serious as she reached across the table to link her fingers through Magnus’s.

Alec let his gaze fall back on Magnus once again, watching how he pressed his lips together. It was audible, how much Izzy’s words had affected him, his inhales sharp and his exhales shuttered. The man looked down at his plate too, his jaw set and his shoulders tense and Alec’s fingers twitched when he saw the almost indistinguishable tremble of his bottom lip. Loving someone was easy, Magnus was an excellent lover, but the capacity of believing you were loved in return seemed wavering in Magnus’s usual disposition because it was more complex, an admittedly more complicated task at hand to accept love than to love.

“She’s right, Magnus. Thanks for not dying on us” Simon said uncharacteristically seriously and Alec looked at him through narrow eyes. Any traces of goofiness, of embarrassment, of clumsiness were gone in the man and he looked sure of himself and of what he was saying. His back was straight, his eyes focused on Magnus and Alec felt a sudden wave of love for the man, as if he could finally comprehend what Izzy saw in him.

Shaking his head, Alec turned his head to look at Magnus again. He was staring at Alec with glassy eyes, the tip of his nose red and his cheeks slightly blotchy. His eyeliner was the tiniest bit untidy, small smudges of black over-lining their usual boundaries and his lips were parted, the entirety of the man’s disposition vulnerable and Alec scooched his chair closer to him, taking his left hand in his and pressing a kiss to his knuckles. Magnus’s metal rings were a familiar but vast contrast to their burning skin, comfortable and comforting, and Alec closed his eyes, taking in how damn lucky he was to have him. To have him, Izzy and even Simon.

“Oh god” Izzy huffed out breathlessly and while Alec’s eyes were closed, he could hear her walking around the table, the soft padding of her small feet followed by the sound of heavier footsteps. Suddenly and very lovingly, two additional pairs of arms were embracing the two men, all their arms intertwining complicatedly as they held each other.

Without blinking his eyes open, Alec could tell that Magnus’s face was the closes to his. It was slightly absurd, Alec thought, that he had grown so close to Magnus that he could recognise his breathing, the pitch of his sighs and the way he sounded when he tried breathing through his nose when he was upset. Leaning further into the hug, Alec rested his forehead on Magnus’s shoulder, the position slightly uncomfortable especially with both Izzy and Simon resting on top of them but the crushing weight of the affection did more good than harm so Alec didn’t mind.

It was unclear how long they stayed like that, but after a while a small but happy giggle filled the room, the sound dancing nicely throughout the quietness that had fallen over the group. “I don’t want to kill the mood but this is so sappy” Simon exclaimed, the ever so tactful man’s observation shifting the entire atmosphere in the room. “Sappy can be good though. Sappy can often times be very goo- Ouch” Simon shrieked and the weight from his arms lifted in a split second.

Snapping his head up, Alec saw that Mr. Chomsky 2.0 was sitting on Simon’s foot, its fangs digging into his ankle and had Alec not felt sick to his stomach at the sight, he would have helped him out. He really would have.

“Hold still” Magnus choked out, his eyes shiny and his shoulders slightly hunched as he fell to his knees, his hands gentle and careful as he tugged the spider off the man’s foot. “This damn spider is a health hazard. Alexander, let Jace know that it’s his job to find this—thing a new home. I’m not touching it more than I have to” he muttered and winced loudly, dropping the spider to the floor and jumping to his feet. “Now, Alec. Preferably before it kills us” Magnus snapped and Alec jumped up from his seat and hurried past the spider, huffing out a small laugh when he heard Magnus mumble the most colourful things about his dear brother.

“Dammit, Jace” Alec muttered to himself as he grabbed his phone from the sitting room, sighing deeply. It was not that Alec liked arguing with Jace, in fact he hated it, but this was a whole new level of stupidity and because it concerned Magnus and the things he cared about, Alec might actually have to kill him for once. Hyperbolic or not, Jace would be a changed man when he was done with him.

“Hey, Alec. What’s up?” Jace sounded through the phone, happy and irresponsibly oblivious.

“Don’t ‘hey Alec’ me” Alec spat angrily and walked into their bedroom, closing the door behind him. “We’ve had enough. This spider is unpredictable and you said you’d come pick it up so tomorrow morning you will come here and you will pick up the damn spider you left in Mr. Chomsky’s place. You will deal with it like a responsible adult and then you will buy five dozens of roses for Magnus, a trivial attempt at an apology but the spider you killed meant a lot to him and you will fix this” Alec said imperatively, the tone of his voice leaving little room for discussion.

“Alec, I’m sorry but tomorrow’s not really a go-“

“You’re resourceful, you’ll find a way. Oh and it wasn’t a question” Alec hung up and tossed the phone on the bed, running a tired hand through his hair.

Jace would be the death of him.

 

——

 

“Again, I’m so sorry, Simon” Magnus said and gestured to Simon’s foot, his brows furrowed and his expression defeated as he glanced up at him.

“Oh, it’s fine. Besides, it’s Jace’s fault so-“ Simon said, making sure to give an even brighter smile than usual mostly because Magnus looked like he could use one.

“Even so, I hope the bite won’t bother you too much” the man said and offered a weak smile, his somewhat tired-looking eyes burning into Simon’s with an intensity he never once thought he’d receive from one of his professors.

“He’ll be fine, Magnus” Izzy reassured brightly and Simon felt her hand on his upper arm, her slim fingers gentle against his skin. “Thank you for letting us come with you today. I hope you’ll settle in nicely despite how anally retentive my brother can be” she said to Magnus and Simon chuckled to himself, looking over to where Alec was fuming behind Magnus and raising his brows at him.

“Why are you still here?” Alec muttered annoyedly and while Simon still thought he looked intimidating, towering over everyone like a giraffe, he had come to realise that Alec was one of the kindest and most caring people the world had to offer. The way he looked at Magnus alone making Simon self-conscious because he never wanted Izzy to be looked at in any other way. Magnus was a very lucky man.

“You’re just proving my point but yes, we are leaving. Stop stressing” Izzy joked from beside him and without thinking, Simon took a step forward and wrapped his arms around Magnus’s shoulders, the man’s body so muscular that Simon could feel it through his clothes. He smelled good too, intoxicatingly so, and after probably an inappropriately long while, Simon stepped back and cleared his throat, owning up to his action by smiling confidently at him.

“Bye guys” he said and gave Alec a small wink, the gesture unsurprisingly overlooked as he waited for Izzy to finish hugging the two men, holding the door open for her when she passed him. “Today’s been great” he stated happily as they linked their finger’s together, Izzy’s other hand wrapping around his bicep once they made their way towards the stairs.

“They’re such a married couple, it’s pathetic, really“ Izzy said when they turned the corner, the two of them suddenly stumbling backwards when they, seemingly out of nowhere, collided with another person, clutching at each other while trying to regain their balance.

“Oh my god, we’re so sorry, sir. Are you alright?” Simon breathed frantically and let go of Izzy, moving towards where the stranger had stumbled a few steps down the stairs, stopping apprehensively the second his eyes landed on the other man.

He was tall, elegant and dressed in an insanely nice-looking suit. His hair was dark, black in the hallway light, and there was something about him, something about the way he held himself, that screamed authority. He had his head down, his hand running through his longish hair and just as they were about to walk past him, the man looked up at them with a smile so familiar that it sent chills down Simon’s spine. It was bright and kind-looking, his eyes were a warm shade of brown and when he pressed his lips together and as he readjusted his suit-jacket, he looked—he almost looked like an older version of Magnus.

“I’m quite alright, you just startled me” the man said with a voice as smooth as silk, the prosody and the enunciation carrying striking similarities to Magnus’s once again and Simon stood frozen in place, Izzy’s hand on his shoulder bringing him back to reality. “Have a good evening” the man nodded and walked past the two of them, gracefully jogging the last few steps before disappearing down the exact same hallway they had just come from.

“Izzy, he looked just like Magnus” Simon breathed as Izzy tugged him down the stairs, his brows furrowed and his eyes squinting at nothing in particular because he had looked just like Magnus. Just. Like. Him. “That’s crazy, we should have taken a picture and sent it to Magnus”

“Taking pictures of strangers will get you beaten up. Remember last time?“ Izzy reminded him and Simon winced at the unpleasant memory. “Besides, this is New York, Simon. There’s always going to be someone that looks like somebody else” she brushed it off when they stepped out of the building, the night dark but the streetlights bright as they started making their way towards the subway.

“Yeah, you’re right. It was just—striking” Simon said and glanced behind him at Alec and Magnus’s apartment building, wondering with a slightly furrowed brow how it was possible for people to look so incredulously similar. “Crazy” Simon concluded and shook his head, deciding to let it go before wrapping his arm around Izzy’s shoulders, tugging her to his side and feeling her giggle agains his shoulder.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone. In the light of Constantin Film’s disheartening announcement, I hope you are all doing okay. Even so, the fight to #SaveShadowhunters is far from over and while we await the release of 3B and a better outcome for the show, I promse to give this AU Malec a beautiful ending (when it comes to it).
> 
> One Love. ❤️

The second the door clicked shut behind Simon and Izzy, Alec turned on his heel and shuffled back into the sitting room, flinging himself onto the sofa. He was exhausted. He could feel it in the heaviness of his eyelids and in the slight tremor of his hands but the day had been good, excellent even so really, he was in no position to complain.

“Mind if I join you?” Magnus’s smooth voice inquired and Alec just smiled into the pillow pressing into the side of his face, twisting his body to stare up at Magnus. He looked breathtaking but worn out, the remains of a long day visible in the slight smudging of his makeup and the imperfection of his hair, but he looked content, the dimples in cheeks unusually prominent as he smiled sweetly at Alec.

“Come here” Alec muttered and opened his arms, hugging Magnus to his chest as he lay down. He was heavy, Alec couldn’t deny that, but in the best way possible, his toned body and his broad stature ridiculously attractive to Alec. “I enjoyed today” he stated and pressed a feathery kiss to Magnus’s neck, the other man humming in agreement. “I’m happy we finally bought a bigger sofa though, this one is not designed for two grown me—is that your doorbell?” Alec trailed off perplexedly when the ringing of an adjacent doorbell interrupted him, the sound coming from Magnus’s old apartment.

“Odd” Magnus murmured and sat up, scrunching his nose in confusion. He looked adorable with his bangs hanging down his forehead and Alec couldn’t help but brush a loose strand of his hair back in place, trailing his fingers down the side of his face. “Don’t you go anywhere” Magnus whispered and pressed a kiss to Alec’s lips before detangling himself with impressive grace, his feet light and quick as he padded towards the door.

Restlessly sitting up, Alec groaned and cracked his back as he got to his feet, admittedly annoyed that their little moment of bliss had been interrupted. Scowling, he walked into the kitchen and let out an annoyed sigh at the mess Izzy and Simon had left, pots and pans and peals and sauce covering every surface. “Dear God” Alec grunted but commenced clearing everything away nevertheless, the sound of Magnus conversing with someone registering in the back of his mind as he put on a pair of washing up gloves.

When Alec cleaned, he oftentimes found himself lost in the chore, the world around him disappearing for a brief moment, so to say that Magnus’s loud footsteps and frantic breathing startled him as he barged into the kitchen would be a gross understatement.

”Magnus, what the hell?” Alec exclaimed and turned off the boiling hot water, twisting around and frowning because Magnus looked like he had just seen a ghost. He was pale, there was a fresh layer of sweat covering his forehead and he was trembling. “Magnus?” Alec solicited cautiously as the shorter man walked over to where he was standing, pushing him out of the way and leaning over the sink, breathing heavily.

“I think I’m going to be sick” he choked out and Alec removed his gloves, leaning closer to Magnus and rubbing his back tentatively.

“What? What happened? Who was at the door?” Alec stuttered and placed his hand on top of Magnus’s, the other man’s breaths so rapid and uncontrolled that Alec moved even closer, his entire arm wrapping around the other man as he pressed the sides of their faces together. “Breathe, Mags. What the hell happened?”

“My father’s here, he waiting in the hallway” Magnus informed and looked at Alec with wide eyes. “He’s here and I don’t know what to do. This apartment looks like a dump, there’s stuff everywhere and I haven’t seen him in years—I— Alexander, I can’t breathe” he gasped and straightened his back, turning towards Alec and giving him an expression so helpless that it completely shattered the taller man’s heart.

“Hey—hey. It’s okay, I’ll tell him to leav-“

“No—no. I’ll be fine in a while, could you just—give him some wine or something while I get my shit together. He can’t see me like this” Magnus replied and took a few deep breaths, grabbing a piece of kitchen towel and patting his forehead dry. Alec would be lying if he said that he didn’t find it extraordinarily fascinating, watching Magnus turn from a panicking mess to a charismatic man in a matter of seconds. He was an interesting paradox.

“Okay. Just—are you sure you’re okay?” Alec said and took the paper from Magnus’s hands, leaning closer and using it to remove some of the eyeshadow that had been smeared down his face.

“I’m fine” he reassured hesitantly and despite his better judgement, Alec believed him. Taking a deep breath, he leaned down to press a quick kiss to Magnus’s lips, biting his own hard enough to draw blood before grabbing their nicest bottle of wine, two wine glasses and plastering a questionably wide smile on his face, straightening his back as he exited the kitchen.

 _Here we go_.

At first he couldn’t see Magnus’s dad, the apartment unsettlingly empty, but after a humours long while of looking Alec found Jack Asmodeus squatting in a corner of their sitting room, observing something on the floor. “Sir?” Alec rasped uncertainly, startling the man who immediately jumped to his feet, regaining an elegant posture as he smiled widely and incredibly sweetly at Alec.

He looked disturbingly similar to Magnus. They had the same skin tone, the same hair colour, the same mesmerising eyes and that smile, that smile almost took Alec’s breath away.

“You must be Alec Lightwood” Jack noted and gave him a once over, raising his eyebrows in what Alec hoped was an approving manner.

Alec huffed out a small laugh, nodding his head as he walked over to put everything down on the coffee table. “Yes, sir” he said and he sincerely wished he sounded more confident than he felt, that the trembling in his hands did not reflect in the prosody of his voice.

“Oh there’s no needs to call me sir. You’re Magnus’ partner” he said matter-of-factly and Alec stopped what he was doing to give Jack a confused look. He was remarkably straight forward and Alec wasn’t sure whether to be impressed or put off by it.

“How did you know-?”

“Dear, his glittery eyeliner is smeared all over your face and you both smell like Indian Sandalwood. As an attorney, it’s my job to notice such details” Jack chuckled and Alec immediately felt his face fluster, desperately trying to suppress a grin because it felt pretty wonderful, people recognising from afar that he and Magnus were a couple.

“Right—well, what brings you here? I was under the impression that you and Magnus haven’t had much contact since he called you about the lawsuit” he asked, the tone of his voice more serious since he remembered Magnus and how upset his father’s visit had made him.

“You’re well spoken, I like it. And yes, as I was saying before Magnus so gracefully ran away from me, I’m here about the lawsuit. More specifically, I need any and all pictures you have of him when he was at his worst. Pictures of any bruises, of any emotional damage this brought on” Jack said and gestured with his hands in a very Magnus-like fashion, playfully raising his eyebrows at Alec. “Oh and I saw that you have a tarantula. An admittedly interesting choice of pet, I must say” he added and pointed to the corner where Alec had found him, indeed seeing their health-hazard of a pet idly sitting on the wall.

“The spider thing, yeah—it’s a long story. The pictures-“ Alec muttered and looked around the room, locating his computer and retrieving it. “-why do you need those pictures? I know my father wanted them but he later admitted to not really needing them” he tried off, clearing his throat.

“Your father, yes. Robert Lightwood” Jack enunciated and walked to take a seat on the sofa, reaching for the bottle of wine and filling both wine glasses to the brim. “Interesting man, close minded. It must have been difficult being within the LGBTQ+ community, growing up with someone with his world view” he stated bitterly and Alec took a seat next to him and reached for the glass of wine since the buzz from earlier had started wearing off.

Downing half the glass in one go, Alec hummed in agreement and leaned back against the sofa, raising his eyebrows in the other man’s direction. “About the pictures?” he reminded him as patiently as he could, feeling the dry wine burn his throat.

“It will help Magnus’ case. When he called me he sounded so—broken. How is he now? Has he spoke to anyone about—everything? His mother’s death, his breakup with Camille, his anaphylactic shock? I’ve been worries sick” he went on and Alec was surprised that he actually seemed to care. Magnus always made him out to be a monster but he seemed startlingly human.

Shaking his head, Alec looked down at his lap because no, Magnus had not spoken to anyone nor had he ever voiced the need to. In hindsight, he probably should have. “I—No. He say’s he’s fine. Now, anyway” Alec muttered and drank the rest of the wine, filling up his glass to the top once more. He could feel Jack’s eyes burn into him despite their lack of eyes contact, his gaze imposing and coloured by something Alec couldn’t put his finger on. Protectiveness? Fatherly love? Judgement?

“He should, that is imperative. If you don’t make sure he sees someone I will. I don’t know what he’s told you about me, about what I’ve done, but he’s my only child, Alec, and I can tell that he’s suffering. He deserves to be the happiest person in this world and right now, he isn’t” Jack mumbled and Alec thought that was the most vulnerable he had ever heard a person from his parents’ generation sound, his wavering tone stirring something within Alec. He suddenly felt—guilty.

He should have done better. He should have taken better care of him. Made sure he was happy.

Biting his lip, Alec reluctantly opened the folder on his computer containing the pictures of Magnus, sucking in a deep breath the instant his eyes registered the photos because he had tried so hard to forget how bad it had been, how much Magnus had suffered. There were dozens of them, from all angles and times of day, showing Magnus’s bruises, the ones covering his entire chest. He was sleeping in some of them, they looked relatively peaceful, but an overwhelming majority of the pictures showed him wide awake, face scrunched up in agony as he cried, clutching at the sheets, at his head or hair.

“Here you go. I took them because I figured a lawyer might need them. They’re not great but I hope they’ll help” Alec explained and handed the computer to Jack, lowering his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose.

For the next few minutes, nothing but Magnus’s footsteps in the kitchen were heard. Jack was painfully quiet, sitting with a hand covering his mouth while he slack jawed stared at the various photographs, shaking his head every so often. “My poor boy. What did they do to you?” he breathed after a while and when Alec heard him sniffle quietly, he put his wine glass down on the table and jumped to is feet, walking over to the kitchen to get away from the emotions.

Alec had never been excellent at comforting people, epically not powerhouses like Jack Asmodeus.

“Magnus?” Alec hissed quietly as he entered, his eyes falling on his boyfriend who was sitting at the kitchen isle, wine glass in hand as he idly stared at his laptop.

“Alexander” he exclaimed and turned to look at Alec, his lips tightly pressed together. “Has he left? I was hoping to avoid taking to him” he waved a nonchalant hand in the direction of the sitting room, chewing his bottom lip. He looked uncomfortable.

“No, he’s currently crying over the pictures from your accident” Alec retorted slowly and glared at him, feeling his face twists in sympathy when Magnus sucked in a sharp breath. “Go talk to him. I don’t know exactly what he’s done but I can see that he’s trying. I would do anything for my own father to care about me half as much as Jack cares about you so please, go in there and talk to him” Alec begged and cupped Magnus face, looking him straight in the eye before mock-seductively winking at him. “Pretty please?”

“Coward” Magnus teased but leaned into the touch nevertheless, giving a small pout and lowering his eyes before nodding. “Fine, but-“ he muttered and rested his index finger against Alec’s lips. “-it’s more complicated than you might think, darling. He’s not a good man. Not really” Magnus said with an unsettling finality to his voice, offering Alec a small smile as he jumped off the bar stool, downing his entire glass of wine before passing Alec with a heavy sigh, Alec’s eyes trialing after him as he left.

A little lightheaded, Alec retuned to clearing up the kitchen, still in shock at having met Magnus’s father who both was, and wasn’t, what Alec had expected.

Not before long, as Alec religiously wiped down the marble countertops, two pairs of footsteps walked towards the hallway, light and at an identical pace. He could hear the two men talking, their voices hushed and cautious as if they did not want to be heard and Alec furrowed his brows, feeling a dryness in his mouth as he walked closer to the hallway, suddenly desperate to know what they were saying. 

“Close your eyes darling, your heart is showing” Jack whispered somewhat ironically and Alec snorted, rolling his eyes because he appeared to be just as cryptic as Magnus.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Magnus asked, his voice inferior somehow, very different from his usual authoritative tone.

“You don’t know what you’ve gotten yourself into, do you? The—Lightwoods are infamous for destroying everything in their way. I know that first hand. And after everything with Richard and Camille-” Alec took a small step towards the other men, the cloth hanging from his fingers as his heart raced. He could tell in which direction their conversation was going.`

“What? How do you even know those things?” Magnus sounded horrified, almost defensive. Alec was too, thinking back to the late night conversations he had overheard when he was younger, his parents arguing about cheating, fraud and blackmail.

Did Jack know about all that?

“You really think I haven’t kept an eye on you? You’re my son, Magnus Bane. Regarding the Lightwoods and their shameful history, it’s not my place to tell. Though I must admit, I’m surprised your Alexander hasn’t told you. You’ve been hurt enough and you deserve someone who will love you unconditionally. Someone who’s honest” Jack whispered and he sounded so sincere that it chilled Alec to the bone. Had it been anyone’s father but his boyfriend’s, Alec probably would have applauded him because ultimately, he was right.

There was a long pause and just as Alec was about to intervene, Magnus took a deep breath. Alec recognised the type, he was getting irritated. “What the hell are you implying? Alec loves me-“

“I know, it’s written in his eyes just as it is in yours but—be careful, my son. I don’t want you getting hurt again” Alec rested his head against the cupboards, closing his eyes and taking a shuddered breath. It took everything in his power not to storm in there and defend himself, tell Jack that he’d rather hurt himself than to ever hurt Magnus. That despite his name, he was nothing like his father.

“I’ve taken care of myself up until now I don’t nee-“

“I know, I know. But I’m here, whenever you need me. Okay? I’ll—I will see you soon, Magnus. Please, take care of yourself and be apprehensive. You look exhausted”

After a few moments of silence, the sound of the door closing brought Alec back to reality and he returned to staring at the countertop, moving the cloth haphazardly over the surface as Magnus’s footsteps approached him - they were careful and Alec hated that they were just that. Cautious and unsure.

Alec suddenly felt very hollow.

There were so may things he wanted to explain to Magnus, all the horrible deeds his father had done, things which would fuel Jack’s concerns but he found himself unable to, slightly too frustrated to function normally and much too sad and tipsy not to cause a scene. “My father has cheated on my mother countless times. He’s blackmailed people, threatened people. I assume that’s what your father was getting at, in case you were wondering. But I’d never hurt you, I hope you know that” he snapped apropos, shaking his head as he turned to face Magnus, pulling at a loose thread dangling from the cloth.

“You heard what he said” Magnus muttered matter-of-factly and Alec thought he saw fear flash across his face. “Look, I don’t know what he meant, what he was getting at but—people tend to leave me after a while, I wouldn’t be surprise-“

“Surprised if I what? Left, got tired of you, cheated?” Alec huffed out and walked past Magnus, skilfully dodging the other man’s hand as he tried to tug him to a halt. There was a painful jolt in his chest, his lower lip trembling as he sucked in a deep quivering breath.

“You’re putting words in my mouth, Alec” Alec, he hated it when Magnus called him that. It sounded so final and ordinary. 

“That’s what your father seems to think, isn’t it? He doesn’t even know me. He barley knows you” Alec breathed and shuffled into the sitting room to collect the wine glasses sitting on the table, feeling the uncanny sensation of sadness stir in the pit of his stomach as Magnus shadowed his every step.

“I know that-“

“I don’t think you do. I’ve spent every day since I turned 18 making sure I never became my father. I’m not-“

“I know that, Alec. But he wasn’t completely wrong” Magnus retorted frustratedly and Alec could tell the second his eyes landed on the other man that whatever argument this was, was about to get ridiculously blown out of proportion. Magnus looked upset, his posture straight, his face blank and Alec recognised the pattern of his breathing.

“You’ve got to be kidding me” Alec fumed and took a step towards Magnus, his breathing uneven as he pressed his lips together.

“You’re careless, reckless. You are. You’ve never had your heart broken, you don’t know what’s at stake” Magnus argued when Alec rolled his eye sat him.

“I know damn well what’s at stake” he chided and some part of him felt a sick sense of pride at the way Magnus flinched at his words.

“No, you don’t, Alec. Our relationship evolved so—quickly. With all the things that kept happening, you were always there, helping me out. Did you take a moment to stop and think about what was happening? The last thing I want is for you to wake up on day and realise that it all happened too quickly. We’re even living together, Alexan-”

‘You didn’t seem to mind it when I asked you to move in with me. But very well, you still have your apartment so you’re free to go. Nobody’s stopping you” Alec sneered and the second the words left his mouth, and as he saw the expression on Magnus’s face, Alec wished he could take them all back. Every singe word.

Averting his eyes, Magnus gave a dark and muffled chuckle. “I see” he breathed and looked up at Alec though his eyelashes, eyes glassy and dark. “This is why what my father said scares me. This isn’t the first time you’ve used words to hurt me, without thinking. So stop and think about that, about us, before you do or say something you will regret“

“Your words hurt, too, you know. And there wasn’t—there isn’t anything to think about when it comes to us, Magnus. It’s so simple. Why is that so hard for you to understand? I fell in love with you, goddamn it—I-“ he rasped brokenly and looked down at his feet. It was overwhelming, loving someone the way he loved Magnus. “-after everything I’ve done for you, been through with you. Told you about me and my family. You even insinuating that I don’t know what I’m doing, that I will regret choosing you breaks my heart, Magnus. It makes me feel like I’ve failed you, you thinking that little of me-”

“ _Alec_ ” Magnus yelled and it made Alec stop dead in his tracks because Magnus had never yelled at him like that before, like he was absolutely terrified. “I’m  _petrified_ of what I feel for you.You know that. Of what you feel for me because it makes me vulnerable. I’m scared that you will grow tired of me and the messes I find myself in and one day distance yourself from me—that it’ll be my fault, that I’ll be the one to drive you away. Goodness knows it wouldn’t be the first time. So stop and think, Alec. For once in your life. I’m not you, it’s not simple to me” the words felt like a slap in the face, Alec feeling himself flinch at the rawness of them as he shook his head in disbelief, raising his hand in an attempt to prevent Magnus from continuing.

Clumsily putting the glasses down in the sink, Alec walked towards their now shared bedroom and tugged the bedspread off the bed, grabbing their duvet and his own pillow before leaving with them, carelessly tossing everything on the sofa. “Why are you even thinking like that? Have I given you any reason to doubt me?” he choked out, the lump in his throat making him sounds just as hurt as he felt.

“No, that’s not what I mea—Alec, what are you doing?” Magnus voice was desperate and Alec physically had to look away to stop himself form rushing over to him, evolving him in a hug and telling him that he was all he had ever dreamed of. All he would ever want. That he didn’t have to be sacred.

Instead, Alec sat down on the sofa with a deep sigh, running his fingers through his hair. “I’ll sleep out here, you can have the bed” Alec spluttered because he suddenly felt like crying, bawling his eyes out, and he didn’t really want Magnus to see him like that. Especially not when he was the reason Alec currently found himself unable to breathe.

“Alec— _Alexander_ , I’m sorry. Please, can we talk about this?“

Alec felt tears prick his eyes as he turned around, the quivering of his lip enough to know that he looked heartbroken. “Not right now, Magnus. Please leave” he mumbled and watched Magnus’s eyes fill with dread as he turned on his heel, marching into their bedroom and closing the door behind him with unexpected composure.

Needless to say, Alec didn’t sleep very well that night - and it wasn’t because of the sofa.

 

———-

 

Alcohol was always a bad idea, Alec realised as he groaned awake the next morning, his head pounding ever so prominently form the bottle of wine he had consumed the night before. Sitting up and wincing at the soreness in his back, he briefly wondered where he was until he remembered that he had decided to sleep on the sofa, that he and Magnus had argued and that Jack Asmodeus had graced them with his presence.

“Great” he grumbled and tossed the heavy duvet off his fully clad body, clearing his somewhat sore throat before mustering the strength to get to his feet - irregardless of whether he and Magnus were fighting, he was always the first thing Alec thought of when he woke up and he always felt a burning need to ensure that he was alright, despite everything. Truthfully, Alec was unable to recall most of their argument, both of them had been borderline drunk last night, but judging from the wetness on his pillow, it must have been pretty bad.

Sighing, Alec grabbed the duvet and tiptoed towards the bedroom, opening the closed door quietly before taking a carful step inside, Magnus’s soft breathing making his hungover head throb a little less insufferably. His boyfriend was curled up in the centre of the bed, his arms and legs twisted into a fetal position and he was clutching something in his hands - a black T-shirt. Alec’s T-shirt, more specifically.

Biting back the guilt, Alec walked all the way towards the bed and placed the duvet over Magnus’s fully clad body, tucking it in at his sides before taking a seat next to him on the bed, reaching over to him and treading his fingers through his still gelled-up hair. His face was still covered in the makeup from yesterday but there were prominent tear marks on his cheeks, his makeup having rubbed off on the comforter and on his ring-clad hands. and Alec had to close his eyes to stop himself from weeping a the sight.

_It’s my fault._

“Oh, Magnus” Alec croaked and bent down to press a lingering kiss to his warm cheek, feeling Magnus stir beneath his touch, a small whine escaping his mouth as Alec leaned back. Withdrawing his fingers, Alec gavel the sleeping man a sad smile before walking over to close the curtains, taking a moment to marvel at the Brooklyn bridge and the sun rising over the East River and the boroughs of Manhattan. New York was blissful, especially in the early mornings, and while Alec adored the view, he couldn’t help but glance over his shoulder. Magnus always managed to take his breath away. Good and bad, apparently. He outshone any skyline.

Leaving Magnus to sleep in peace, Alec spent the rest of the morning occupying himself with various chores, laundry, washing up, dusting, until a few hours later when a knock on the door was heard, a loud and consistent pattern he recognised form his childhood.

“Jace?” he exclaimed as he opened the door, raising his brows in surprise as he gave the blond man a once over, taking in his apologetic smile, his usual leather jacket and the bouquet of vibrant yellow roses resting in his arms. “Come in” he breathed and stepped aside to let his brother in, following after him into the apartment.

“Where’s Magnus? I’m here to apologise and sort out the spider situation” Jace announced loudly and turned around to smirk at Alec. It seemed to be his usual facial expression - smug yet lovable.

“Why?”

“So you don’t remember violently threatening me last night? Not cool, man” Jace joked and Alec tilted his head as he recalled their conversation. Wow, that felt like half a lifetime ago.

“Magnus is still asleep” he mumbled and walked past Jace, ignoring the eye roll form the other man.

“Pity. Also, I brought the jacket I borrowed a while back—here” Jace said as he tossed the fabric at Alec’s back, the taller man turning around and glaring at Jace as the jacket hit the floor.

“How can I be sure this is even my jacket? What if you lost it and replaced it with an identical one?” Alec inquired sarcastically, pointing an accusing finger at his brother. “Furthermore, a while would indicate a few weeks, a month tops. You borrowed that jacket over a year ago, Jace. It’s hardly in style anymore” he added and picked up the heap of material, tossing it back at Jace, pursing his lips in annoyance.

“Wow, you’re even more chipper than usual” Jace muttered, irony dripping off his tongue as he took a step towards Alec. “Want to talk about it?” he asked and Alec ignored the way his eyes shone with pity, rolling his eyes at the man as he chuckled to he chuckled to himself. 

“There’s nothing to talk about” he said and he tried to sound cheerful, smiling briefly. “Not, let’s get this damn spider out of here” he looked around, suddenly wishing Magnus was there to help them. He shook his head. “I will never forgive you for making me do this” 

Unfortunately, locating a rouge spider was far more complicated than Alec had anticipated, the two grown men searching though the entire apartment on their hands and knees, muttering, cursing and yelling at each other for a good hour and a half before finally finding it - inside the pocket of one of Magnus’s many suit jackets.

“Wow, this is disgusting” Jace winced as Alec balanced the tarantula in his hands, carefully lifting it down into the glass cage Jace was holding.

“Tell me about it” he muttered and put on his shoes, quirking his eyebrows at Jace. “Let’s go” he breathed just as the bedroom door swung open, revealing a very tired and grumpy-looking Magnus. He had wiped his face clean of makeup, he had changed into a pair of sweat trousers and a tank top and he was wrapped in a fluffy white blanket, looking so domestic and casual that Alec could hear Jace suck in a surprised breath next to him. He couldn’t blame him, Magnus always took everyone’s breath away.

Averting his eyes melancholily, Alec fixed his gaze on the floor, rubbing the back of his neck as Jace walked over to Magnus, handing him the flowers. “I’m so sorry, man. I really am. Clary and I got you some roses, yellow ones because they smelled the best—so-“ he trailed off, Alec noticing that he was staring at Magnus. Could he tell that they had been fighting? Was it visible in Magnus’s eyes?

“It’s okay. I—thank you, Jace. I appreciate it” Magnus whispered and Alec couldn’t help but look over to where he was standing, his gaze wandering over his bloodshot eyes, tussled hair and the hungover slouch of his back. Shaking his head, Alec walked over to him and pulled him towards his chest, wrapping his arms around him and feeling him melt against his shoulder, the flowers resting against his nape as Magnus hugged him back.

“Alexander” Magnus breathed and Alec could feel him scrunch his face up, his beard scratching Alec as he shook his head.

“I’ll see you tonight” Alec whispered and stepped back, looking at Magnus with a newfound sense of insecurity rising in his chest. While Alec couldn’t remember the exact extent of their argument, he could still see the fear Magnus had been talking about the night before shining as brightly as the rising sun in his eyes. It was obvious and striking and Alec found it hard to breathe yet again, suddenly recalling Magnus’s own words with alarming specificity.

_It makes me vulnerable._

_I’m not you._

_It’s not simple to me._

_Stop and think. For once in your life._

Locking their eyes, Alec gave him a weak smile before taking another step back, swallowing the lump in his throat. With a clenching heart, he intertwined their fingers and brought them to his mouth, pressing a quick kiss to the shorter man’s knuckles. “I’m sorry. For making you doubt me. That was never my intention” he choked out, Magnus’s fingers gripping his uncomfortably tightly as he gave a slight shake of the head, his eyes tear-filled and his lips pressed together as he, too, appeared to be struggling to breathe.

“Anyway-“ Jace exclaimed seemingly out of nowhere and clapped his hands together, clearing his throat awkwardly. Honestly, Alec had forgotten he was still there. “This is cute and all but we have to go. See you later, Magnus”

Letting go of Alec’s hand, Magnus wiped a stray tear from his cheek. “See you” he mumbled hoarsely, never taking his eyes off Alec who in turn stood frozen in place, his heart strumming uncomfortably against his rib cage as Jace tugged him towards and out of the door, the metal from Magnus’s rings still a lingering sensation on his hand.

The last thing he could see before the door closed was Magnus. He looked scared, unsure, and Alec suddenly understood what he had meant. He could feel it. The fear Magnus had spoken about the previous night. The fear of being left behind, the fear of letting someone down, and the fear of not being good enough.

 

———

 

Magnus was restless, worriedly tracing the brim of his martini with his index finger as he awaited Alec’s return. It had been nine hours and he hadn’t heard a word from the man. Granted, he was with Jace, the man known for being chronically late to everything but Alec, his Alexander, always took the time to inform Magnus when he would be coming home late - except when he didn’t, of course. Magnus probably didn’t deserve to now where he was, anyway.

Finishing his drink with a sigh, Magnus leaned back against the sofa and closed his eyes, tucking his legs against his chest as the clock on the wall kept ticking, every tic and every toc making his heart grow progressively more weary.

Magnus was not sure how long he had been sitting there wallowing in guilt and self-pity, numbly staring at the black screen of the TV when the sound of a key twisting in the lock was heard, disturbing the silence that had settled so readily over the messy apartment.

Alec was a big man, tall and muscular, but he was always very quiet, tactful in the most astonishing way so when those feathery footsteps entered the sitting room, Magnus closed his eyes because he had realised, after having replayed their argument over and over again, that he could not look him in the eye. Not after everything he had accused Alec of the night before.  

“I know you’re not sleeping. You breathe differently when you’re asleep” Alec’s soft voice stated and there was a prominent dip next to him on the sofa, a gentle hand resting on his left arm as if to make sure that his assumption had been correct. “I’m sorry I didn’t call” he added and Magnus could heard the guilt in his voice, heavy as lead as it quavered ever so slightly, making Magnus open one eye to glare at him.

“You don’t have to report your whereabouts to me, Alexander” Magnus remarked and pushed himself up into a sitting position, giving Alec a sideways glance. The man looked exhausted.

“I know but I also know that you appreciate it. You’re a worrier, after all” Alec whispered and Magnus felt the atmosphere shift in the room when the taller man managed a weak laugh, his eyes burning into Magnus’s as he bumped their shoulders together. God, Alec was one of those genuinely nice people, wasn’t he? One of the personalities the world needed more of. Magnus had a lot to learn from him.

“I suppose I am” Magnus confessed, a sheepish smile creeping its way onto his face, Alec’s presence already making the day significantly more worthwhile.

“That’s okay” Alec said flatly as he rested his hand on Magnus’s thigh, squeezing it tightly. “As long as you don’t push people away” he cautioned and averted his eyes, his left hand rubbing his nape like he did when he was nervous.

Wincing at the implication, Magnus bit the bullet. “About our fight-“ he began but was interrupted by Alec’s fingers intertwining with his.

“It’s okay” Alec decided and Magnus felt his heart break and the indifference in his tone.

“It’s not okay, Alexander. The things I said-“

“You never have to apologise for how you feel. I get it. You’re scared, it’s okay“

“I wasn’t expressing myself clearly yesterday“

“Because I didn’t let you. I just keep pushing you like I always do. I didn’t let you get a word in” Alec scolded and Magnus twisted his body to face Alec, tilting up the man’s chin with his fingers, looking him straight in the eye.

“You had nothing to do with it” Magnus pressed and tangled his fingers in Alec’s hair, taking a deep breath before continuing. “It’s all in my head, Alexander. I’ve realised that even if the world did decide to take you away you will always have loved me, and I will always have loved you. That will never go away. Loving and losing is far better than never having loved at all. Richard—I—I decided to live for him, you know. I’ve never been more broken in my life but I’m still happy I got to be with him. The happiness from loving, in hindsight, will always outweigh the sorrow of his death. My fear of losing the people I love is irrational, it’s clear as day to me now, and I’m disgusted that my own insecurities made you feel like I doubted you or what you feel for me.

“Because that is the furthest thing form the truth. Everything you do, everything you say, how you look at me and how you touch me. It all makes me feel so loved, Alexander. And I am very lucky to have you. I’ve only been in love with three people, Richard, Camille and—you. Richard was my first love. It was new, exciting, endearing and fun. Camille was the rebound, sexy, scandalous, thrilling. But you. You are everything. You’re the first and the last, scandalous, thrilling, exciting and endearing. You’re handsome, you’re kind, beautiful in all its different aspects and you’re intelligent, wise beyond your years, Alexander. You deserve everything, all the love and success and happiness this seemingly hopeless world can offer and I would be honoured to be a part of that. You never have to doubt yourself, darling. You’re the brightest light in any dark moment and I’m sorry” Magnus orated desperately and tilted Alec’s head to look into his eyes. “I’m sorry”

They were wondrous, Alec’s eyes, tear-filled but hopeful and Magnus’s heart both broke and healed itself when his face twisted in relief. “I love you. I don’t care what your family has done or what my father thinks despite how much he says he cares or how quickly things are going. I love you and you love me. I suppose it is that simple. Like I said, wise beyond your years, Alexander” he smiled and caressed Alec’s cheek. It was unusual, seeing Alec so raw and honest, tears falling freely from his eyes as he wrapped a trembling hand around Magnus’s wrist.

“Close your eyes” Alec rasped and Magnus did as he was told, hearing Alec get up and walk into the hallway, returning mere moments later. Out of nowhere, something was dropped in his lap and Magnus gasped when it started to move, his eyes snapping open and landing on a black and white kitten, bright blue eyes staring up at him expectantly. “It’s a long story but I’ve heard that animals, especially cats and dogs, can help with anxiety. I thought he might help you out” Alec breathed and sat down next to Magnus again.

“What in the world, Alexander?” Magnus gaped and smiled brighter than he had in weeks, taking the tiny creature into his hands and holding him close to his chest, his whiskers tickling Magnus’s cheek.

“His name is Chairman Meow” Alec sniffled and moved closer to Magnus, petting the small animal and scratching its head.

Magnus looked at Alec then and saw his beautiful smile, the tear stains on his cheeks and that glint in his eyes Alec only seemed to get when they were together. He saw the tiny lines beginning to form between the man’s eyebrows form frowning most days and when the kitten started licking Magnus’s cheek, he decided to be brave. Courageous, like Alec always seemed to be. “I’ve decided to go to therapy” Magnus blurted out and Alec looked at him in surprise, eyebrows raised as if that was the last thing he had expected Magnus to say. A fair assumption, Magnus thought.

“Oh?” he breathed and offered a reassuring smile.

“I start work in a few weeks and I’ve decided to start seeing her then. We have a very skilled on-campus psychiatrist, you see” Magnus explained and buried his face in the kitten’s neck.

“Okay” Alec said and rested his head on Magnus’s shoulder, his hair falling into Magnus’s face.

Alec was not a man of many words but Magnus could tell how much he cared. It was tangible in the way his fingertips traced over Magnus’s knuckles, how his foot caressed Magnus’s calf and the way Alec kissed his neck. It was as if everything fell into place. All Magnus’s fears, all his heartache, everything that had happened - painful blessings in disguise that had led him to Alec.

Nuzzling into his neck, Alec voiced the question Magnus had been too scared to ask ever since that morning. “Are we okay?”

They probably weren’t. The things they both had said unfair, hurtful, and stemming from valid insecurities, but in that moment Magnus just nodded his head and looked at Alec, deciding to choose optimism for once in his life. “Yeah. We’re okay. We’re okay”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Close your eyes, darling. Your heart is showing” - F.d. Soul.
> 
> “It’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all” - Alfred Lord Tennyson.


	23. Chapter 23

It was as if something had shifted in the carefully crafted balance between Alec and Magnus ever since Jack Asmodeus’ visit. Alec couldn’t put his finger on what had changed but they had grown closer somehow, more dependent on each other.

Alec would catch them subconsciously shift closer together, find Magnus staring at him with eyes full of unwavering devotion and while, in hindsight, the disastrous encounter appeared to have been a blessing in disguise in that regard, the impact of Magnus’s father’s visit had extended far beyond the comforts of their own home.

Why people loved gossiping so much, Alec would never know.

“I’m not sure if I should be impressed or concerned with his accusations—the cheating, the blackmail. Though I am pleased that your father’s actions seem to be known to many. Serves him right”

Alec’s family was visiting - minus his father, of course - and Alec had somehow found himself cornered in the kitchen, his mother standing before him with an authoritatively furrowed brow and her arms crossed in front of her. She looked surprisingly happy, her posture relaxed and she radiated an unusual glow that had her entire face beaming - densely, Alec figured it might be the bright red dress she was wearing. According to Magnus, colour made everything more vibrant and bright, even someone’s mood.

“Mother, I hardly think this is an appropriate conversation to be had right now” Alec whispered and glanced to where Magnus was seated on the sofa. He was wearing a pair of tight fitting striped dress trousers, a dark maroon silk top and his usual jewellery, the shiny metal from the necklaces projecting kaleidoscopic patterns on the walls. His legs were crossed in front of him and he looked genuinely happy as he patted Chairman Meow, his lips pursed and his brows raised encouragingly as he listened to something Izzy was rambling on about. “Magnus hates his dad and, well, mine isn’t exactly father of the year either. This is supposed to be a happy get together” Alec muttered and narrowed his eyes when he saw Max get up from his position next to Izzy, his restless little brother’s quick footsteps echoing throughout the apartment and much to Alec’s absolute disdain, it sounded like he was headed towards their bedroom.

“Everyone has daddy issues, it seems. I’m just grateful that you turned out relatively alright, at least then I know you’ll make a great dad someday” his mother continued and waved a nonchalant hand when Alec raised his brows at her, the corner of her mouth quirking up as if to say _tell me I’m wrong_.

“Relatively alright?” Alec echoed and gave his mother a lopsided grin, letting her know that her words hadn’t offended him. “It’s alright, mom. Jace has always ben the favourite. It’s nice to finally hear you admit it” he joked and huffed out a breathless laugh when his mother hit him on the arm, the gesture strangely comforting.

He loved his mother, and in turn his relationship with her. She cared, and loved him, and while she always made sure to tell him, it was much more prominent in causal moments like these - in the silly, non-required harmless bickering. It made Alec believe her.

Clearing her throat, Maryse glanced over her shoulder and Alec could hear her inhale sharply, the atmosphere immediately shifting from idly catty to _let’s talk business_. “How are things going with Magnus? Are you happy?” she wondered and turned back to Alec, giving him a look that had Alec wishing to reveal everything to her and not say a single word all at the same time. She had that presence about her, he figured as he poked at some non-existent dust with his foot.

“I—yeah, everything’s great, mom” Alec mumbled, avoiding her gaze.

“Really? Because I heard through the grapevine that you two had a pretty big fight” she pressed and Alec scoffed, rolling his eyes at her inability to mask who the tattling mystery person was.

 _Jace_. Of course it was Jace. He had interrogated Alec so throughly the day they returned the spider that Alec wondered if he should ditch his career as a teacher and become a detective instead.

Glaring at nothing in particular, Alec pursed his lips and sighed deeply. “I have no idea what you’re talking about” he exhaled and hoped his stance communicated his complete unwillingness to discuss the matter further.

Unsurprisingly, it didn’t.

“I can tell when you’re lying, you know. Besides, a mother can read her children like open books. I don’t need Jace’s gossip to tell when something’s bothering you. I’m here if you need to talk” she reassured and took a step towards Alec, wrapping her arm around his waist and resting her head on his shoulder. “You can tell me anything, you know that right?” she whispered, her voice as smooth as silk.

Glancing up at Magnus again, Alec felt an all too familiar tug at his heart. It wasn’t because he was angry with him, or disappointed in him. It wasn’t even because Magnus had the power to shatter Alec’s heart.

No. It was solely because of Magnus, in all his inevitable glory. Nothing more, nothing less. Just Magnus and the brilliance he exuded everywhere he went. 

He looked so content, bright and unphased by everything where he sat on the sofa, his head resting against its back as he laughed wholeheartedly. He had his hands clasped tightly in his lap, his knee bobbing to the beat of the music sounding from the TV and his cheeks had a sheen to them, a pretty glow that made him look younger, somehow.

He was everything Alec had dreamed of. From his genius to his kindness, to the shape of his hands to the sound of his voice, and when Magnus’s laugh echoed, loud and unguarded, through the apartment, Alec found it heard to breathe yet again. Magnus had always had that affect on him, and while it seemed romantic to some, having your breath taken away was scary.The impact the unknown stranger turned friend turned boyfriend turned love of his life continued to have on him, even after all this time, overwhelmingly intimate.

Yeah, Alec still had great difficulty wrapping his head around it and ever since their fight, and despite Magnus’s explanation and justification of his actions, Alec couldn’t quite shake that feeling Magnus had been referring to.

“I’m just— absolutely terrified of losing him. That is all” Alec concluded out loud and felt his mother squeeze him closer to her, a soft huff of air leaving her mouth as she smiled up at Alec, her eyes shining.

They stood there for a while, mother and son huddled together as the night and their loved ones moved before their eyes. There was laughter, the sound of joyous music, people yelling and Jace and Clary arguing in some far off corner. It was hypnotic and Alec would have been happy to stand there for the rest of the night, observing, listening, and understating, but his mother’s voice interrupted the balance, gentle and kind where it whispered into his ear.

“You’ll be miserable living your life being scared of losing the people you love, sweetheart. Even more so if you let it impact your choices in life” she mused and it sounded like she knew what she was talking about. “Take the fear and use it instead. Love with all your heart and be open to being loved in return. There’s nothing quite like it. And that immobilising fear, you’re lucky to feel it. Not everyone does” she breathed and Alec raised his brows at her, not following. “Son, you’re very lucky to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard. As sad as it may be, it’s also worth—everything”

“Why are we paraphrasing Winnie the Pooh?” Magnus’s voice startled the two of them and Alec quickly straightened his back, snapping his head up and giving Magnus a small smile.

Magnus had a sheepish smile on his face where he stood, back straight, eyes bright. He looked beautiful, his eyeliner smudged ever so slightly and his hair was hanging down his forehead - even after a long day he still managed to outshine everyone in the room.

“I’m impressed, you certainly know your children’s literature, Professor Bane” Maryse smirked and let go of Alec, patting him on the back before walking into the sitting room to join the others, leaving Alec with a lump in his throat and a little more oxygen at his disposal.

“Everything alright?” Magnus breathed and Alec could tell that he was worried, his brows furrowed in that adorable way which usually was reserved only for the most stressful or horrifying moments. “You’re crying, darling” Magnus clarified and Alec moved to wipe at his cheek, indeed feeling the wetness Magnus had taken note of.

When had he started crying?

Offering his most reassuring smile, Alec bent down and pressed a kiss to the other man’s lips, resting their noses together for a brief moment. “Everything’s alright” Alec whispered and reached his arms around Magnus, tugging him to his chest. Before he could close his eyes, however, Alec felt various inanimate objects digging into his stomach, furrowing his brows in confusion as he stepped back, looking at what Magnus was holding. “Why the hell are you carrying around—all that? My mother’s here, hell, my little brother is here” Alec gasped and grabbed Magnus by the shoulders, guiding him towards the back of the kitchen.

“Well, I found your charming little brother rummaging through our nightstands. He had these-“ Magnus gestured to their small stash of sex toys in his hands, cheeks tinted scarlet as he pushed them into Alec’s hands, rubbing his own down the length of his trousers. “-laid out very neatly on the bed. They’re all covered in lube as I’m sure you can feel. Lube-” Magnus shuddered as he let out a disturbed laugh. “-which your brother was licking from his hands. Apparently he likes the strawberry 'candy’ the best”

“No” Alec choked out, the colourful dildos much heavier than they should be in his hands. “No, no. Oh—no” he spiralled, his eyes widening as he remembered when and how they had been used, all the sounds and sensations colouring his memory leaving him significantly more appalled by the entire situation.

His poor, innocent, ten year old brother.

“Yes” Magnus said and before Alec could hear it, he could feel Magnus’s back shake with laughter.

“Magnus, this isn’t funny” Alec hissed and dropped the colourful contents to the kitchen counter, draping a hand towel over them before turning to glare at a giggling Magnus, aghast at the entire situation. “Stop laughing” he demanded but it only seemed to make everything ten times funnier, Magnus clutching at his stomach as he appeared to be struggling to keep himself upright.

It was nearly impossible refraining from joining in with the laughter. High pitched and glorious, Magnus’s happiness stirred something within Alec and he, too, found himself unable to keep a straight face. Because it was quite funny. As hilarious as Magnus was awe-inspiring in fact, which was a lot. A whole damn lot.

It took them a while to calm down, Magnus had tears glistening in his eyes and a flushed cheek by the time they straightened up. “Well—?” Alec began, wiping at his eyes. Magnus looked at him, confused. “What did you tell Max?” Alec giggled and touched the hairs at Magnus’s nape.

“I told him that the toys were weights for working out and that he couldn’t finish the candy because then we wouldn’t have any” Magnus grimaced and Alec felt his entire face twist into a smile.

“Creative” he complimented slowly and tilted his head to kiss away the pout on Magnus’s face. “Though I must say, it would have been a shame if he had eaten all the so called candy. Whatever would we do tonigh-“

“Oh hush, you. Leave the innuendos for the bedroom” Magnus blushed and looked down.

“Magnus Bane are you being shy? I never thought I’d see the day” Alec laughed, closing his eyes when Magnus rested his head against his shoulder again, muttering something under his breath as he pulled at a thread hanging from the collar of Alec’s shirt.

How Alec loved him.

“Are you okay?” Magnus stepped back after a while and looked at Alec, eyes wide in question. “Earlier, when you and your mom were-“

“I’m fine, Mags” Alec whispered and trailed his fingers down the length of Magnus’s arm, locking their hands when he reached the hem of his shirt.

“You’d tell me if you weren’t, right?” Magnus wondered, pressing a kiss to Alec’s cheek.

“You’d be the first to know” Alec leaned into his touch and closed his eyes, appreciating Magnus and everything he was for what felt like the billionth time that day.

“We should probably join the others” Magnus whispered after a moment or two, his voice low and gentle.

“In a bit” Alec decided and buried his nose in Magnus’s hair, breathing in the sandalwood, the hair wax and the cologne Alec suspected Magnus had borrowed from him earlier that morning. “Let’s just stay like this for a little while longer”.

  
———-

  
It was later, much later in fact, when Alec stepped out of the shower.

His family had decided to marginally overstay their welcome and leave just before 2am, Max asleep in Maryse’s arms as they said their goodbyes.

Though long, their visit had been successful and surprisingly pleasant. Everyone had seemed to enjoy themselves, the food Alec and Magnus had prepared, the playlist Magnus had put together, and the long and comfortable conversations ranging from Magnus’s career to Jace’s gym routine.

It had been great and Alec, and he suspected Magnus felt the same way, had immensely enjoyed himself.

Wrapping a towel around his waist, Alec quickly brushed his teeth, dried his hair, and exited the bathroom, his eyes immediately falling on Magnus who was laying in the centre of their bed, the bedsheet resting just above his hips. His face was bare of any makeup, his hair was ruffled, hanging down his forehead and he had a slight curve to his lip, a small indication that he was happy. His chest was bare too, his abs on full display in the dimmed light, and he had one arm tucked under his pillow, the other one outstretched in front of him where Chairman Meow was passed out, curled up against his wrist.

Magnus was asleep, that much was obvious, and Alec smiled to himself when he heard his soft snores, tip-toeing closer before taking a seat next to him on the bed, grabbing his phone to snap a picture of the gorgeous man.

Looking at the picture with a fond smile, Alec put on a pair of boxers and climbed in next to Magnus, wrapping his arms around him and kissing his shoulder from behind.

“Alexander, baby?” Magnus turned around and Alec’s breath hitched at the term of endearment, his entire being relaxing against the other man as Magnus blinked his eyes open, sleepy brown eyes burning into his own. “Turn on some music” he breathed and Alec huffed out an enamoured laugh, kissing Magnus slowly, toothpaste and mouthwash mixing between them before he leaned back.

Reaching for his phone, Alec turned on the song Magnus always meant late at night, the one Alec had sent him on a particularly stormy night in the very beginning of their friendship. Soft at first, the familiar strumming of a guitar echoed throughout the bedroom and judging by Magnus’s content sigh, Alec had inferred his prompt correctly.

“Can you believe that so much time has passed since that day?” Magnus whispered into his chest and Alec hummed, remembering with a comfortable sense of nostalgia how he had fallen asleep in Magnus’s bed that night. It was before Alec knew Magnus was a professor.

“Do you remember the day after, when you cut your foot?” Alec laughed quietly and felt Magnus tilt his head.

“And then we met in my lecture hall. You have no idea, Alexander, I almost forgot how to breathe. You looked so beautiful that day” Magnus admitted, pressing a kiss to Alec’s jaw.

At a near loss of words, Alec reached for Magnus’s hand, intertwining their fingers, burying his nose in Magnus’s newly washed hair. “I thought you looked beautiful, too. Ever since I first saw you, you were the most beautiful person I’d ever seen and when I saw you standing there, you have no idea what you did to me. What you still do to me”

“I used to say it all the time and I hope you know that just because I don’t say it as often anymore, it doesn’t mean it’s any less true now than it was then. I’m still so grateful that we met, Alexander. I can’t even imagine a future without you now” Magnus whispered and he suddenly sounded wide awake, despite the late hour.

“Me neither” Alec sighed contently, having never felt more sure of anything before as he trailed his fingers down Magnus’s spine, feeling the softness of his skin as if for the very first time.

Magnus fell asleep shortly after, heavy on Alec’s chest as he inhaled and exhaled slowly, his hand twitching every so often in his sleep.

Alec kept thinking, and he kept saying to a select number of people, how indescribably beautiful Magnus was. Even after all the time that had passed since they first met, Alec was unable to tear his eyes away. He moved with such grace, always spoke with intent, and everything he did, it seemed, was done with such elegance that it left Alec speechless.

Even now, late in bed, the bed they had shared countless times - in sickness and health, through sorrow and pure bliss -, Alec found himself absolutely dumbfounded at the man in his arms. He supposed that was why loving him scared the living hell out of Alec, as it scared Magnus to love him in return. He knew that if it ever came to it, there wouldn’t be anyone after Magnus. It simply wouldn’t be possible.

Nobody could ever measure up to him, and that was okay, Alec supposed as he yawned and pulled Magnus closer to him. He didn’t want anyone to, Magnus was everything to him.

 _Immeasurable_.

Closing his eyes, Alec rested his head on top of Magnus’s and willed sleep to overtake him, the song in the background on repeat for probably the fifth time and Alec couldn’t help but blink his eyes open at the familiar words, stealing one more glance at Magnus simply because he could.

 _And if the sun’s upset and the sky goes cold_  
_Then if the clouds get heavy and start to fall_  
_I really need somebody to call my own_  
_I wanna be somebody to someone_  
_Someone to you_

Alec fell asleep with a smile on his face that night.

 

——

  
Magnus was exhausted and his gorgeous new Marc Jacobs boots were hurting his feet more than he liked to admit as he climbed the stairs to their apartment, carting four large shopping bags in his hands.

He had spent the day with Catarina, one of his oldest and dearest friends. They had been to every shop imaginable and even though Magnus adored shopping, it almost had him decked that day. He was either getting older or Alec was wearing him out. He hoped for the latter.

Once inside the comforts of his and Alec’s home, he dropped everything in the centre of the sitting room, tossing his navy suede jacket over the back of the sofa before kicking his shoes into some corner, too achingly tired to care if Alec got mad at him for being so horrendously messy-natured.

Shuffling into the kitchen, he greeted Alec who was standing by the cooker, stirring something on the stove while looking as sinful as ever in the black apron Magnus had gifted him a few weeks back, glancing over his shoulder to smile at Magnus.

He was wearing a plain white T-shirt that hugged his biceps so tightly it left little to be imagined and his black skinny jeans were similarly fitting. His hair was unusually messy, though beautifully so, and his eyes sparkled in the brightness of the kitchen, the hazel in them purer than gold as he winked at Magnus.

 _Breathtaking_.

“Hey” he breathed as Magnus wrapped his arms around him from behind, peaking over his shoulder and seeing the spaghetti carbonara fizzle away in the saucepan, the smell making his stomach growl in anticipation. “Hungry?” Alec teased and Magnus just closed his eyes and rested his forehead against Alec’s nape, taking a few deep breaths before humming. “You okay?”

“Long day” Magnus muttered and felt Alec turn around, wrapping his arms around him and pressing a kiss to the top of his head. Magnus instantly felt lighter, the heaviness in his shoulders and the pressure in his head ceasing as he melted against Alec, inhaling his scent that still, even after all their time together, had him seeing stars. So masculine but somehow sweeter than honey.

“Did you have fun though?” Alec whispered and Magnus nodded his head slowly, pursing his lips. “How’s Catarina?” he wondered sweetly and kissed Magnus, lingering for a few moments and waiting for Magnus to finally smile at him, bright and comfortably content, before turning back towards the stove. Alec always did that, he always ensured that Magnus was happy. Yet another reason Magnus loved him to pieces.

Pirouetting around to go sit by the kitchen island, Magnus grabbed the pile of mail sitting on the countertop to Alec’s left, biting his lip as he started sorting through the various papers. “She’s doing well. Madzie just started school, it’s the cutest thing. You wouldn’t believe the dress we found fo—what’s this?” Magnus asled and examined the small poster in his hand, tilting his head to the side when he realised what it was and to whom it was addressed. “Alexander, are you aware that you’ve been invited to one of the biggest parties thrown by the students at our university?” Magnus exclaimed in excitement, scrunching his nose perplexedly when Alec answered him with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders. “Please tell me you’re going”

“I don’t know, Mags” Alec said as he turned off the stove.

“What do you mean you don’t know? You have to go, Alexander” Magnus breathed, looking at the paper in his hand like it was made of gold.

“I’ll go if you come with me”

That was not what he had expected Alec to say.

“Alexander” Magnus breathed and closed his eyes momentarily, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Sometimes they both seemed to forget that they were in such different walks of life despite their young age and Magnus did not want to destroy Alec’s years at university - partying, being happy. Magnus had never gotten the chance to experience that and he would be damned if he dragged Alec down the same rabbit hole.

“What?” Alec retorted and he sounded genuinely confused at Magnus’s defeated tone.

“I teach the people we’d be getting wasted with. They would kill you if you brought a senior lecturer to a party like that. It’d be a disaster” Magnus muttered and chewed on his lip, dropping the various envelopes to the kitchen island before looking up at Alec. The man was frowning, looking at Magnus as he tilted his head.

“What? Why would you say that?” Alec exclaimed softly and walked over to where Magnus was sitting, his hands resting on his hips as he nudged Magnus’s foot with his own. “You’re the best dancer I’ve ever seen, you can hold your liquor better than all of them combined and you’re so hot. Also, you’re just as young as most of the students in my year, you’d fit right in” he pressed and walked to stand between Magnus’s legs. “Besides, I’m asking you as my boyfriend. I don’t care if you’re a professor or if you’ll end up bringing down the party, which you won’t-“ Alec chuckled and Magnus closed his eyes, resting his head against Alec’s chest, blushing. “-I just want you there. Partying is only fun when you’re around”

Wrapping his arms tightly around Alec, Magnus pressed his lips together, nuzzling impossibly closer to him. Of course he wanted to go, he loved partying, especially with Alec. He loved the dance floor, the loud music and the happy people. It was therefore possible that Alec had a point, Magnus mused as he opened his eyes, looking behind Alec and seeing the lovely dinner he had prepared.

For Alec, he realised as he felt the other man’s fingers thread through his hair, he’d do just about anything.

“Fine” he agreed quietly and lowered his hands, resting his fingers by the belt loops of Alec’s jeans. “But I’m warning you, I’ve never been to a college party before” Magnus confessed, a sheepish smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

That seemed to surprise Alec since he stepped back and looked at Magnus with wide eyes, grinning mischievously as he bent down to peck him on the lips. “I can’t believe I’m the first person to take you to a college rave. I never thought that would happen, never thought I’d be your first—anything” he mumbled and Magnus just shook his head at him, feeling his cheeks turn a deep scarlet.

He was so in love with Alec.

“Oh darling-“ he whispered and stood up, resting his palm flat against Alec’s pec. “-you’re my first so many things, you have no idea” he admitted and looked up at the man before him, seeing every speck of brown in his eyes, every eyelash and every hair hanging down his forehead.

They were so close when Alec took a deep breath and rested his forehead against Magnus’s shoulder, their chests pressed so closely together that Magnus could feel Alec’s heart beating through his own. His back was bent, Magnus thought it looked rather uncomfortable, but that didn’t seem to bother Alec since he eventually pressed a kiss to his neck, short and sweet, nuzzling his nose into his hair as he always did. “Thank you” Alec whispered and Magnus wasn’t entirely sure what he was referring to but that didn’t matter.

Magnus understood what he meant.

“I look forward to the party now, you might have created a monster” Magnus joked and even though his head was pounding slightly, and his feet were killing him where he stood, he had never felt happier. Come what may, if he could arrive home to Alec, he knew he’d be alright. “Aku cinta kamu, Alexander”

Magnus rarely spoke Indonesian, even though he, in theory, was bilingual since it was the language his mother had taught him as a baby. He supposed his reluctance was because it reminded him of her, of the years before everything went to hell. He didn’t need a constant reminder that she was gone, of how he still blamed her for his childhood. Of how selfish he was.

Even so, it seemed Alec brought out that side of him. The honest, blunt, unfiltered, hidden part of him in the most intimate way. Which was beautiful, Magnus supposed, he really needed to stop running away from his fears.

Tilting his head to look at Alec, he let out a quiet laugh at the distant look on his face. While the words carried meaning to Magnus, they were nothing but unintelligible gibberish to Alec. “It means-“

“ _I love you_ in Indonesian” Alec’s breathless voice cut him off, a pleased look on his face as he took a step back, kissing Magnus on the lips. “And I love you, too”

“How do y—?”

“You mumbled it your sleep once so I looked it up” he said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, walking back over to the cooker and smiling over his shoulder as he had done mere moments earlier. “Ready to eat? It’s getting cold”

Magnus stood frozen, however, staring at him with wide eyes, suddenly overwhelmed by everything Alec was. Of course Alec had listened to him talk in his sleep, of course he hadn’t complained like normal people would have, of course he had looked it up and of course he had remembered it, used it in just the right moment.

Of course he had because he was Alec, the most kind-hearted and selfless person Magnus had ever met and if it hadn’t been clear to him before, it certainly was as clear as day to him now.

He would be a complete fool to ever let him go. More so, he was sure, as he walked over to where Alec was holding a plate of food in his direction, that he was going to marry that goofy, smart, handsome, lovable man someday, when the time was right. There was no question about it.

The thought made him smile so widely that Alec looked at him suspiciously, kissing his cheek as he huffed out a soft laugh. “God you’re cute. It’s distracting, stop it” Alec muttered and blushed when Magnus’s eyes trailed after him, taking in how he hung his head and how his shoulders shook with soft giggles.

Shaking his head, Magnus followed him into the sitting room and took a seat across from him at the table, raising his brows at him, along with his glass of wine. “To us” he declared, reaching across the table to touch his glass to Alec’s.

“A toast to you. To us”

They retrieved their glasses and ate in silence, comfortable and light. Their feet were intertwined under the table and as they glanced at each other, deep brown meeting hazel, Magnus let out a long sigh and smiled when Alec reached for his hand across the table.

 _This is it_ , he thought to himself. _This is the one_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard” - Winnie-the-Pooh.  
> Someone to You by BANNERS.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading. ❤️


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *hides behind pillow* It's been nearly two months since I last updated this story and for that I'm eternally sorry. To make up for it, this chapter is the longest one to date. I hope you enjoy it.✨
> 
> Oh and Happy Halloween!

“Darling, as much as I love you, this has got to be one of your worst ideas to date” Magnus mumbled confidently but Alec could tell that he was nervous, the ways his fingers twirled his usual rings with alarming continuity a dead giveaway. Which was endearing, Alec thought fondly, Magnus rarely got nervous so when it did happen, it felt so out of place yet so impeccably natural that Alec had trouble thinking straight.

Alec supposed that’s why he looked at him, head titled to the side as his eyes shone with the same enamoured fondness that flooded his heart.

“I seem to recall you agreeing to do this in London” Alec pointed out and looked around, his gaze falling to the groups of highly qualified lawyers - Magnus’s father being one of them - conversing just to their left. “Besides, there’s no outcome of this that you won’t benefit from, unlike the representatives from the airline who’re probably shaking in their seats just about now” Alec gestured with his hand to the group of suit-clad men further down the courthouse corridor, their voices hushed, their backs hunched as they conversed in what Alec thought to be a very curious manner.

“I know you think that, Alexander, but these things are unpredictable. All we have is me, a few photos and the doctors from the plane testifying-“

“ _These things_ , as you say, are actually quite predictable, Mags. What’s worth questioning, on the other hand, is how your dad managed to get a hold of the doctors” Alec cut him off, quite impressed, though not entirely surprised, that Jack had managed to get a hold of the people who helped save Magnus’s life – Magnus’s father, Alec had come to learn, had many—powerful acquaintances.

Magnus just shrugged his shoulders and chewed his lip, eyes darting around the room – he looked lovely, the way his somber eye-makeup glittered in the daylight and the way his hair was combed to the side and perfectly neat taking Alec’s breath away.  _Absolutely stunning_ , Alec thought to himself as Magnus cleared his throat phatically. “Who the hell knows. But It might not be enough, it might-“

“Magnus-” Alec interrupted slowly, pushing himself up from his casual position against the wall to stand in front of his boyfriend, placing a hand on his bicep. “-I’m essentially a layer, your dad’s the  _state attorney_. You’re fine, okay? You’re fine” Alec cupped his cheek and smiled when Magnus’s face flushed—deep and scarlet where it lit up Alec’s entire world.

Alec remembered a time when Magnus would have been self-conscious of the effect Alec was having on him but looking at him in that moment, seeing the way his head was titled heavenward, the way his dark eyes were shining, and the way the corner of his lips tugged upward, he just looked--pleased. And so goddamn gorgeous that, for a moment, Alec was struck by that feeling again, that recurring sensation of panic that reminded him that Magnus was the loveliest person he’d ever met.

“I know, I’m sorry. I’m just nervous. I just-“ Magnus furrowed his brows and pressed his lips together. “-I just want this whole mess to be over. I want to put this behind me” Magnus looked down at their feet and Alec felt his heart break at the sight, knowing - despite how hard Magnus tried to hide it - that what happened on the plane still kept him up at night.

Shaking his head at the thought, Alec caressed Magnus’s cheek and trailed his fingers down the length of his face, wishing – and not for the first time – that he could snap his fingers and take away his memories from that godawful day. “Aku cinta kamu” Alec breathed in lieu of saying nothing, feeling his heart swell when Magnus looked up to meet his eyes. Ever since Magnus first had said it to Alec, it had become their  _thing_ \- something they understood but remained mostly unintelligible to the people they tended to surround themselves with.

It was something just for them and while Alec wasn’t anywhere near fluent in Indonesian, he tried because sharing something that was so close to Magnus’s heart with him meant more to Alec than any words could ever make justice.

_Entirely invaluable_.

“Oh Alec, aku mencintaimu, aku hanya takut sayang” Magnus whispered softly and the way the words flowed out of his mouth made Alec warm inside, the voice he had come to love equally as mesmerising in the other languages he mastered.

“Hey, I’ll be right out here waiting and when you’re done we’ll get out of here and drink an entire bottle of champagne, how does that sound?” Alec reassured him and pursed his lips, taking a step back before glancing at Jack who was standing a bit closer than before.

“I’m sorry” Magnus whispered, his voice riddled with guilt, and Alec averted his eyes from Magnus’s father to focus them on him instead, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“For what exactly?” Alec wondered and raised his brows expectantly, feeling his face twist in humour at the way Magnus pouted at him - had they not been in public, in a courthouse of all places, Alec would have leaned down and kissed him senseless.

“For making you come here even though I’ve asked you not to come inside with me. I mean, look at you-” Magnus pointed a near accusing finger at Alec. “-you even dressed up. Alec, you didn’t have to dress up” Magnus muttered, the prosody of his voice verging on inaudible and while Alec had tried to persuade Magnus into letting him come inside the courtroom, he felt nothing but respect for Magnus’s decision.

“Oh this?” Alec gestured to the tailored black suit he was wearing, forgoing the man’s insecurities about the whole courtroom ordeal. “I wanted to. When we go to the restaurant to celebrate the win later, I want to look good next to you”

“You’ll stick out like a sore thumb, Alexander. It’s bad enough that one of us already does” Magnus scoffed and Alec’s heart clenched uncomfortably in his chest, watching through squinted eyes how Magnus tugged at the silk cravat that was tucked into the dark shirt he was wearing.

“I’d rather stick out with you then look out-of-place next to you. Besides, what’s wrong with sticking out anyway? You’re beautiful, I’d be offended if people didn’t stop and stare, Magnus” Alec reasoned quietly, smoothing down the perfectly pressed lapels of Magnus’s navy suit jacket before bending down and pecking him on the cheek. “The suit you’re wearing looks perfect on you”

Instead of answering right away, Magnus took a step forward and wrapped his arms around Alec’s shoulders, his breath tickling the side of Alec’s neck as he let out a strained laugh. “How is it possible that your voice, along with everything you say, still gives me butterflies after all this time, Alexander?” he huffed out and despite the formal setting, Alec couldn’t help but lean back and press their lips together.

The kiss was brief, chaste, but Alec hoped it communicated everything he couldn’t find the right words to say.

Because how could he properly formulate the words to tell Magnus that he gave him butterflies, too? That he still made his heart race? That he made him weak at the knees and out of breath and speechless and blown away all at the same time because he still had that presence about him, that awe-inspiring, life-changing, breathtaking, smile-inducing, world-altering way of living that made Alec fall in love him?  _Over and over again._

It seemed impossible so Alec just kissed him, with all he had. It somehow didn’t feel like enough but Magnus seemed to know regardless, Alec could tell by the way his hand clutched at his bicep before he leaned back to smile at him – his eyes carried that glow, the one Alec had come to realise was reserved only for him.

And god if it didn’t make his heart beat right out of his chest.

“Gentlemen, I’m sorry to interrupt but I’m afraid it’s time for us to proceed, Magnus” a voice startled them and Alec snapped his head up in its direction, eyes landing on none other than Magnus’s father- - it felt admittedly strange looking at him so closely, especially after everything he’d said a few weeks back when he visited their apartment.

Alec looked back at Magnus, eyes suddenly worried but before he could say anything Jack brought his arm around Magnus’s shoulders and steered him away and towards the room to their left, the heavy wooden doors closing behind them before Alec even the chance to react.

Huffing out a nervous breath, Alec took a seat on a bench closer to the entrance and kept his eyes glued on the door in front of him, furrowing his brows at them until they opened a seemingly short while later and Magnus and Jack appeared, their expressions unreadable as they parted ways.

Alec felt his stomach turn and jumped to his feet when he saw Magnus press his lips together, striding over to where he was eyeing something in his hands. “So?” Alec exclaimed as he came to a halt, reaching his arm around Magnus’s middle, guiding them back in the direction Alec had just come. “How did it go?”

Magnus looked up at him and even though Alec thought he looked relieved, there was something about the way his eyes wouldn’t quite meet his that contradicted his confident stance. “It went fine, they’ll pay the compensation” Magnus said softly, tucking the piece of paper he’d been observing into his inner pocket. “Now, you were saying something about champagne? I could use a drink or two. And a nice meal, preferably both at the same time” Magnus jested.

Nodding, Alec held Magnus even closer, smiling at the kind man who held open the door for them as they left the building. “But you’re okay, right? Everything went the way it should have? They didn’t try anythi-“

“Alexander-“ Magnus laughed, leaning into his touch. “-everything went fine. Please stop worrying and show me where we’re going”

“Alright, alright” Alec chuckled and glanced down at Magnus, smiling because it was  _over._  

_It was finally over._

“Are you looking forward to tonight?” Magnus asked when they came to a stop on the sidewalk and looked up at Alec, his eyes bright and happier than Alec had seen them in a while. 

“Oh the party? Yeah, I guess” Alec shrugged his shoulders as he hailed a cab, distancing himself from Magnus in the process. “But we don’t have to go if you don’t want to. I really don’t mind”

“Nonsense, of course we’re going. It’s the party of the year, remember?” Magnus raised his brows at him, a smug smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “I can’t believe you’re trying to get out of showing me to my first ever college party, Alexander. I’ve never felt quite so hurt” Magnus’s tone was a vast contrast to the words he had spoken, kind and carefree where it warmed Alec’s heart.

“I would never” Alec reassured him anyway and turned away from Magnus to cover up the way his cheeks were flushing for no apparent reason, tilting his head when Magnus wrapped his arms around him again, hiding his face in his neck. “Hey, you okay?” Alec chuckled quietly and wrapped his arms around his shoulders, feeling Magnus nod his head, his fingernails digging into Alec’s back as if he was holding on for dear life.

“Yeah, just—feeling a bit overwhelmed, I suppose. I can’t believe it’s finally over” Magnus muttered and had Alec held him close before, he was probably crushing him by that point.

“I love you” was all Alec said before they climbed into the cab that had pulled up at some point, their hands clasped together between them on the seats and every so often, when Alec would glance over to where Magnus was staring out of the window, he felt a familiar tug at his heart – recursively yet somehow always as if for the very first time.

_I’ll make you happy,_ it said.  _I promise_.  

 

\----- 

  

The restaurant Alec had taken them to was fancy to say the least, and though Magnus wouldn’t admit it, Alec could tell that he was happy they were overdressed since chandeliers and gold plaited ceilings were surrounding them as they ate – and drank – for hours, indulging in different meats, salads, pastas and cakes as if their lives depended on it.

When they eventually left, hand in hand and healthily tipsy, Magnus was going on about his research. He talked about syntax and its importance in forensic contexts – Latinate terms and complicated theories thrown left and right - and while Alec didn’t really follow the rambling man’s trains of thought, watching Magnus talk about the things that set his heart on fire was the most exhilarating thing in the world so he just smiled and listened, nodding his head at the appropriate points in the discourse.

The sun was setting, the lights from the apartments on the upper east side lighting up the pathway on which they were walking and when Magnus stopped for a second, eyes fixed on nothing in particular, Alec couldn’t help but laugh out loud – for the first time in a while feeling on top of the actual world.

“-no, well, maybe. The CP and its relationship to the copula verbs is of importance, of course, but-“ Magnus whispered and Alec gave him a sideways glance, nose crinkled at how utterly adorable he looked in that moment. “-what really is of interest, you see, must therefore be the difference in use between the CP and a simple complement in the structure. That must be it, that’s what differs between suspects and the police, right?” Magnus looked at him expectantly and Alec just blinked at him in return, smile wide as he tucked a strand of Magnus’s hair back in place, an enamoured sigh escaping his lips.

“In English, my love?” Alec joked and Magnus scrunched up his nose, wrapping his cold fingers around Alec’s wrist as he looked him in the eye. Alec could see that Magnus was verging on drunk, his pupils blown, his gaze unfocused, but he looked as impeccable as ever standing there, eyes wide and smile bright as he tittered quietly to himself.

“There must be a difference between the way the police and suspects use language, right?” Magnus titled his head and the corner of his eye crinkled as he took a step closer to Alec, brushing their noses together. He smelled divine, Alec thought to himself as he wrapped his arms around his middle – champagne, chocolate, and the uniqueness that was Magnus gracing Alec’s face as he continued. “It seems systematic as far as I can tell. Manipulation through language truly is common, hence the importance of the compleme-what?”

Alec shook his head and pressed a soft kiss to Magnus’s lips. “Nothing”

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Like what?” Alec leaned in even closer, so closely that his entire line of vision was consumed by Magnus. And by god if that wasn’t the most precious sight.

“Like  _that_ ” Magnus breathed accusingly but proceeded to tug Alec even closer, retuning the gaze.

_He looks in love_ , was all Alec could think as he looked at him. _He looks so in love with me._

“I—you—you just take my breath away, that’s all” Alec mumbled and had he been sober, he would have blushed but the alcohol provided him with a false sense of courage as he shamelessly stared at the man in front of him – intensively and in wonder like Magnus had created the entire universe without lifting a finger.

“How I love you, Alexander. Have I told you that recently?” Magnus giggled and flung his arms around Alec’s neck, swaging them softly to some inaudible beat.

Nodding his head, Alec tightened his grip on him and buried his nose in his shoulder, feeling the heat form his skin comfort him on that particularly cold autumn evening. “Only about five times today”

“That’s not nearly enough then, darling” Magnus said, slurring slightly, and caressed Alec’s back, his ring clad fingers a familiar sensation as they trailed down the length of his spine.

“I love you, too” Alec whispered and despite the chilly evening, they stood wrapped in each other’s arms until about ten minutes later when both men could barely feel their fingers, shivering as they all but jogged towards the club where the party was being held – it wasn’t very far but drunk and cold the journey there was quite miserable.

They kept stealing glances at each other though, and despite the fact that they were in public nothing had ever felt quite so intimate, or so Alec thought, especially once they entered the club and he was unable to tear his eyes away from Magnus – who, by the way, made a U-line for the dance floor and within seconds had managed to completely unbutton his shirt.

Alec pretended to be shocked at the way his mouth watered at the sight.

Walking over to the bar, the beat of the live music pulsing alongside his heart, Alec averted his eyes for a moment and looked around. The club was big and full of people Alec had never seen in his life, people who were dancing, drinking, laughing, and shouting. There was a live DJ further towards the back, the girl bobbing her head to the songs she was playing, and while Alec wasn’t as into parties as Magnus tended to be, he could see the appeal.

Being in a place that was so crowded that you could get way with most things seemed both like a great idea and the worst executed plan in the word – though when his eyes landed on Magnus again, on his abs that were on full display and on the way his hair was falling into his eyes shamelessly attractively, Alec had never been more grateful for the crowds of people not giving a damn about him since his trousers were getting tighter every passing minute and, drunk as he was, he couldn’t find it in himself to remotely give a shit.

Pursing his lips as he leaned against the bar, Alec folded his arm in front of him, locking eyes with Magnus.

Magnus always looked beautiful to Alec, regardless of the time of day or his clothes or his makeup, he always looked stunning. In that moment, however, - while still undoubtedly gorgeous - Magnus looked—sexy, sinful even, especially when he spun on the floor, his abs contracting with the effort it took to move the way he did.

He was caressing himself to the beat of the music too, his hand roaming his bare chest as his hips moved to the beat and just when Alec thought it couldn’t get any better, Magnus pirouetted, stopped and flicked his suit jacket backwards before landing in the splits, pushing himself up without even using his hands.

Alec wanted to go to him,  _dance with him_ , but all he could think in that moment, as the people around them whistled in the direction of his boyfriend, was that it was pure wizardry, the fact that Magnus’s very expensive trousers hadn’t ripped yet.

_The night’s still young_ , Alec thought to himself and titled his head in the direction of the bartender, ordering two martinis, continuously casting sideways glances at Magnus who, without fail, would return his gaze at any given moment.  

Looking down at his feet, Alec knew then that Magnus would be the actual death of him.

“ _Alec_ ” Alec accepted the two drinks and turned his head in the direction of the person calling his name, eyes falling to Underhill who was stumbling his way over to him, eyes glazed over as he nearly tripped over his own feet. “Hey man. I didn’t think I’d see you here, since you know,  _ya boring_ ”

“Brooklyn 99, nice one Underhill” Alec muttered but offered his friend a small smile, watching with amused eyes how he tried to formulate the correct sentence to order even more to drink – they weren’t very close but he was the only person in his year that Alec actually enjoyed being around. “It wasn’t my idea to come here”

“Oh? Alec bringing a date to one of the filthiest parties of the year, I’m impressed. Who is he?” Underhill pointed a finger at him and Alec felt his cheeks flush, downing one of the martinis in one go before nodding his head in the direction of the dance floor, and Magnus, who appeared to have discarded his jacket.

Alec had to bite his cheek to suppress a moan.

“Wait, I recognize that guy. Isn’t he the one—the professor, the forensic uh linguistics professor?” Underhill said and crooked his head at Alec, licking his lips. “Damn he’s hot”

“Stare a little harder, why don’t you” Alec heard himself say, furrowing his brows at Underhill.

Magnus wasn’t anyone’s possession, but Alec couldn’t help but feel jealous of the way Underhill’s eyes roamed over his body.

Widening his eyes, Underhill gaped at Alec. “Wait,  _he’s_ the one you’re here with? You’re screwing one of the senior professors?” he furrowed his brows in confusion. “How the fuck did that happen?”

“I’m not screwing hi-“

“Your crotch is telling a different story” Underhill pointed out and gestured to the problem in Alec’s trousers.

“I’m not  _only_ screwing him” Alec clarified and readjusted his position, looking up at Magnus again who still had his gaze fixed on him, his cheeks covered in a sheen of sweat.

“How does that even work? Is that even legal? Does his professor buddies know?”

“Yes, of course it’s legal and yes his colleagues know” Alec groaned and thought back to the egomaniacal piece of work that was Lorenzo Rey. “Honestly, I hardly ever see him when he’s at work so half of the time I forget who I’m with. He's just--Magnus to me”

“I’ve heard that he’s super smart. Like genius-level intelligent” Underhill said and he sounded surprisingly sober for how close he looked to falling over.

Alec couldn’t help but let his face twist into a smile. “He’s the smartest person I’ve ever met, he’s just—I don’t even know. He’s indescribable” Alec said earnestly, taking a sip of the second martini in his hand. “I don’t know”

“You love him?” Underhill wondered, taking the glass from Alec’s hand and chugging it down in one go. “You look like you love him” he gestured to Alec’s face, his head bobbling to the side.

“I do” Alec said lowly, his heart swelling when he saw Magnus stopping mid movement, wobbling ever so slightly where he stood before waving his fingers at Alec.

_God he’s breathtaking._

“How long have you been seeing each other?” Underhill slurred and bumped his shoulder to Alec’s, nearly dropping the martini glass in the process.

Alec rolled his eyes and caught it before it fell to the floor, somehow the least intoxicated person in the room, it seemed. “Ten months”

“ _Ten months_? And you haven’t told me?” he gasped and Alec shrugged his shoulders, raising his brows at his friend.

“You never asked” Alec reasoned and chuckled when Underhill hit him on the shoulder, pouting at him as he pointed at Magnus.

 “Is it true that he almost died on a plane?" 

Rolling his eyes, Alec looked away from Magnus and turned towards him. “What?”

“World travels fast, man” Underhill mumbled and pressed his lips into a smile, eyes dazed over where he looked up at Alec. “On the way to—Paris, was it?”

“It’s not something we talk about” was all Alec said as he glanced over his shoulder, seeing Magnus make his way over to them – his chest was heaving, his hand was pressed against his forehead and had Alec been more tactful, he wouldn’t have let his eyes travel to the man’s abs.

“Gentlemen” Magnus voice was clear, barely audible over the loud music in the background, as he draped his arm around Alec’s shoulders, clearly out of breath.

“Hey” Alec whispered and smiled at him, tugging him closer by the waist – he smelled a little like sweat and alcohol. “Underhill meet Magnus” Alec nodded his head in the man’s direction. “He’s quite drunk” Alec said to Magnus, hearing Underhill mutter something under his breath at the observation.

“Mr. Underhill, yes. I do believe we have met” Magnus smiled and reached his hand out for Underhill to take, Alec watching in bemusement as his friend’s eyes nearly dropped shut at the contact – Alec couldn’t blame him, not when Magnus looked like  _that_.

Chuckling softly, Alec caressed Magnus’s bare chest with his fingers and felt a shiver run through his body when Magnus let out a trembling breath. “Enjoying your first ever college party?” Alec smirked.

“What gave it away?” Magnus mumbled, his tone flirty as he leaned up to press their lips together – it was far too similar to a French kiss to be entirely appropriate at a party but when Magnus’s tongue entered his mouth, Alec found himself unable to care.

Underhill cleared his throat and tapped him on the shoulder, seemingly unaffected by the PDA. “Hey, Magnus. I’m glad you’re okay—what with the almost dying and everything” Underhill’s tone was still slurred and if the clumsy tactics had bothered Magnus, he didn’t let it show on his face.

“On the plane to London, yes. A disturbing ordeal to say the least” Magnus shook his head and raised an eyebrow at Underhill. “We’ve agreed not to speak of it” he gestured to Alec.

“That’s what he said” Underhill whispered, shooting Magnus an impressed look. “You’re suing them, right?” he remarked even in his state and Alec couldn’t suppress the laugh that bubbled out of him, earning him a stern look from Magnus.

“What is it with you law professional and suing everyone?”

“Justice needs to be served” Underhill said in a haughty voice and Alec heard Magnus, who had turned into Alec at some point during the conversation, laugh quietly into his neck, his fingers playing with the back of Alec’s shirt collar.

“Justice was served today, actually” Alec said, feeling the relief and pride curse through him as he squeezed Magnus’s shoulder.

“Yeah?” Underhill asked, sounding genuinely thrilled for their sake. There was a reason Alec liked him and his unconditional love for the people around him was definitely one of them.

“Yup” Alec grinned, looking down to where Magnus was nuzzled into him, his breath hot against his skin, his fingers still playing with the hairs at his nape. “Those incompetent assholes finally got what they deserved”

Underhill cheered and waved at the bartender, leaning his elbow on the counter as he twirled his fingers at Alec and Magnus. “Three shots, please. To celebrate justice” he announced and Alec whistled to himself, the left corner of his mouth twisting his face into a lopsided smile as the beat of the music changed and he could finally hear himself think.

“I’m going to get some air” Magnus whispered into his ear and Alec titled his head down to look at him, pouting as he tried to catch his eye.

“What, we basically just got here? Are you okay?’ he breathed and squinted his eyes when Magnus rolled up on his toes and kissed him again, resting their foreheads together for a brief moment.

“I will be” and with that, he pecked Alec on the cheek and made his way through the crowd of college students, his head down as he tugged the cravat from around his neck. There was something about it, Alec thought to himself as he watched him go, something about the way Magnus’s words hadn’t slurred quite so prominently anymore that stirred that worrying feeling in his stomach again.

Alec craned his neck in an attempt to trace Magnus with his eyes – tough to no avail much to his own disappointment. There were far too many people there and he was far too— _not sober_  to wave his head around like that.

_When had the room stared spinning?_

“Hey, where did Magnus go? I have shots” Underhill’s loud voice wondered.

Shaking his head, Alec waved an apologetic hand in is direction. “Hey, I think I’m going to go check on him” Alec decided and smoothed down his dress shirt before pushing himself up from his slouched position – much like he had done earlier in the courthouse only this time, instead of Magnus kissing him, Underhill’s hand tugged at his wrist.

“He probably had too much to drink, happens to the best of us. He’ll be fine, Alec” Underhill reassured him, admittedly unsuccessfully Alec thought, before taking a shot, grimacing at its taste. He grinned at Alec. “ _Let’s party_ ”

Rolling his eyes, Alec reached for one of the shots and swallowed it in one go, feeling the way the liquor burned his throat. “ _Great party_ , got to go” Alec croaked out and grimaced before patting Underhill on the shoulder, smiling at him. “See you on Monday”

“You’re so boring Alec. Unless you/re about to get some, in that case you’re not boring” Underhill called but Alec barely heard it, halfway onto the dance floor in search of Magnus’s suit jacket by that point - it was freezing outside and regardless of how tipsy Alec was, Magnus would never be cold if he was there to do something about it.

It didn’t take him long to find it, or his way out of the loud bar for that matter, and within minutes he was standing on the sidewalk, shoulders hunched and eyes wide as he tried to locate Magnus in the dark – the streets were eerily empty and when Alec hadn’t found him after about a minute of searching, he could feel the wheels in his head beginning to turn.

_What if someone had hurt him?_

_What if he’d he left?_

_What if he was unwell?_

_What if someone had kidn-_

Then, as if the universe was trying to put Alec out of his misery, there was the sound of a rustled movement to his left and a burning red smoldering of some sort visible closer to the ground where Alec had neglected to look, clearly accompanied by a pair of glittery dress shoes that Alec would recognize in any lighting. “Magnus, thank god. I thought you were dead” Alec exclaimed and strode over to the sitting man, dropping to his knees next to him.

Magnus looked unreasonably peaceful where his head was resting against the brick wall, the way his hair was falling into his face and the way his hands were resting on his knees giving off the impression that the temperatures were not verging on sub-zero that night. His shirt was still unbuttoned, his makeup was slightly smudged, and had Alec payed more attention to his surroundings rather than to Magnus’s immediate appearance, he would have realized that the smoldering red glow from earlier was coming from the cigarette currently resting between Magnus’s trembling fingers, ash falling from it as he flicked it with his nail. 

“You worry too much, love. I’m fine” Magnus chuckled after a while and cracked open one eye, offering Alec a small smile before bringing the cigarette to his mouth and taking a long drag. 

Alec just blinked at him in confusion, offering him the jacket as he sat down next to him, eyebrows raised in obvious curiosity. “I didn’t know you smoked” Alec pointed out casually and pumped their shoulders together, pursing his lips when Magnus looked away from him.

“I don’t smoke. Not anymore” Magnus muttered, looking down at his hands as if he was waiting to be scolded. Smirking to himself, Alec reached for the cigarette and gave Magnus a smug look when he brought it to his mouth, instantly recognizing the taste and the smell as if it hadn’t been seven years since he last smoked. He inhaled deeply and felt the familiar burn warm his lungs, winking at Magnus who snapped his head up so quickly Alec feared he might get whiplash.

It was as adorable as it was humorous.

“What on earth are you doing, Alexander?” Magnus hissed and narrowed his eyes when Alec just snickered at him, taking another deep drag of the cigarette. 

“I used to smoke back at the all-boys boarding school. Not my best decision to say the least, high school really was a bitch” Alec chuckled and raised his brows at the stunned expression on Magnus’s face. “Where did you get this anyway?” Alec wondered and observed the ash that fell onto his trousers, grimacing when he realised that they both would smell like drunk ashtrays when they got back home.

Magnus shook his head and rested his head on Alec’s shoulder. “Some guy offered it to me”

“Economical” Alec joked lightly and offered the cigarette to Magnus who just shook his head, scrunching up his nose.

“No, thank you”

Kissing the top of his head, Alec flicked the cigarette in front of them and put it out with his foot, taking Magnus’s hand in his. “Want to tell me what’s wrong?” Alec whispered and smiled when Magnus huffed out a shy breath, his body shivering as he moved closer to Alec. “Here-“ Alec exhaled and turned so he could reach around Magnus, moving his jacket so it was covering his body instead of being folded up in his lap. “-better?”

“Thank you, Alexander. But I—nothi-“

Alec cut him off before he could finish the sentence. “Don’t  _nothing_ me, Magnus. It’s me, I can tell when something’s not right”

Tilting his head to look at Alec, Magnus seemed small, younger than he normally did as he let out a tired sigh. “I feel like such a coward, Alexander” he whispered and Alec thought his eyes shone more prominently as he said it, his face scrunched up in what Alec could only describe as disgust. 

“What makes you say that?” Alec brought the man’s hand to his mouth, kissing his knuckles – his fingers smelled of the cigarette he’d just been holding but Alec couldn’t find it in himself to care, not when his own smelled just as much.

“Did you know that I wrote you a song?” Magnus said so quietly that it was barely audible over the distant roaming of the taxis passing by, his hand clutching Alec’s tightly.

Looking up at the night sky, Alec felt a shiver run through his body - if it was because of the cold or because of the fact that Magnus, the person he loved most in the world, had written him a song he would never know. “You wrote me a song?” he echoed, eyes gleaming as he held Magnus closer - it was horrifically uncomfortable but, in that moment, Alec couldn’t help but marvel at the way his heart was racing against his ribcage.

“In London, during one of my may sleepless nights, yes” Magnus said but there was something about the confession, something about the way he didn’t sound shy about it that made Alec sit back, tipping Magnus's chin up with his finger.

“And that makes you feel like a coward why, exactly?” Alec furrowed his brows and leaned down to kiss him softly, the taste of the cigarette still lingering in both of their mouths.

“It’s a line in the song” Magnus mumbled and leaned into Alec’s touch, the tarmac hurting Alec as he tried to get even closer to him – even with the smudged makeup and smelling like cigarette smoke, Magnus managed to be the most wondrous person Alec had ever seen.

Tilting his head to the side, Alec gave him a curious look. “Well, I can’t wait to hear it. When you’re ready” Alec beamed despite the cold, looking up when the door to the bar swung open and a few girls stumbled out, clutching at each other.

They were loud and Alec almost wanted to yell at them for disrupting the quietness that had settled over himself and Magnus but--he didn’t, mostly because Magnus was holding onto him and nothing else mattered quite as much to him in that moment.

“I lied, Alec” it was quiet, verging on a whisper, but the words felt heavier than led where they hung in the night, Magnus’s breathing the only other sound Alec could make out.

He swallowed and looked down at Magnus who was nearly in his lap by that point. “What is it?” Alec breathed and wrapped is arm around Magnus’s waist, the sound of a heartbeat loud in his ears – if it was his own or Magnus’s seemed unimportant at the time. “You can tell me anything, I wo-“

“We lost today” Magnus voice was as smooth as silk, but the words felt like a slap in the face, quick and painful when they registered in Alec’s brain.

“ _What_? You lost today? How the hell did that happen?” Alec could feel himself getting frustrated, angry even. He straightened his back and Magnus moved away from him, resting his elbows on his knees. “What did they say? You know what, let me call my parents and they can overrule the verdict. It’s clear as fucking day what happened, and it wasn’t your fault. For god’s sake, Magnus, this will no-“ Alec stopped when Magnus suddenly jumped to his feet and took a few steps away from where they’d been sitting, his head hanging towards his chest as he started walking away. Alec followed suit and was delighted when his world appeared to have stopped spinning as he, too, started walking. “Magnus,  _hey_ -”

Instead of answering, Magnus turned around and Alec officially felt like the worst person in the world when their eyes met, seeing the way they were burning, kaleidoscopic where they looked at Alec with a type of desperation that was so deeply intimate that it left him speechless. And not in the good way.

Then it hit him, the way Magnus had hugged him after the trial, the way he had looked unsure and sounded different, the way he had drunk almost an entire bottle of champagne at dinner and now, the way he looked now nothing short of--defeated. Heartbroken.

Alec felt it too, the way his heart shattered in the split of a second, sending pulses of aching pain throughout his body as he watched the tears fall from Magnus’s eyes – too far away to reach out and wipe them away but close enough to want to.

Alec took a small step towards him.

“Alec, I—I need you now, as my boyfriend and not as a fucking lawyer.  _Please_ ” Magnus choked out and covered his mouth with his hand, silencing the cries that seemed to want to rock through his body.

Biting the inside of his cheek, Alec felt his own eye well up as he walked over to him and wrapped his arms around him, resting one of his hands on his nape and the other one in his hair, holding on as hard as he could. “ _Damnit_ ”

Alec wasn’t very good with words, but he had gotten good at comforting people, especially Magnus. Which was why Alec just held him, his fingers threading though his gelled-up hair until everything seemed to have calmed down – until Magnus took a step back and they decided to go home.

It was cold and dark and fucking miserable all of a sudden and Alec cursed the world, cursed the plane and cursed the airline and cursed the court and just about everything he could think of because Magnus was smiling at him – seconds after having cried his goddamn eyes out in the middle of the street – and Alec knew it was because Magnus believed the defence.

He actually believed that he could have prevented what happened on the plane, that he could have prevented himself from suffering from some sort of PTSD, from nightmares and insomnia, but he was wrong – blaming the victim was a coward move and while Alec knew that Magnus would never let him involve his parents again, he couldn’t stop himself form wishing.

Especially not when he saw Magnus brush away a stray tear in the taxi on their way home when he thought Alec wasn’t looking.

About an hour or so later, when the night had gotten unbearably cold and both Alec and Magnus were so exhausted and tipsy that they could barely stand, they stepped into their apartment and looked at each other, tired eyes meeting as they took off their shoes and hung up their suit jackets in silence - the events of the day still felt like an unfair, unjust and unreasonable stab in the back but there was nothing they could do but find a way to deal with it this time around.

Alec had always found such finality unsettling, but the world was not a fair place most of the time, so there was nothing to do but to figure it out and do it to the best of their abilities – and Alec would oblige and try, for Magnus, despite what his gut was telling him.

Because regardless of the verdict, it  _was_ over and in whatever twisted, upsetting and appalling way there was to observe the world, there had to be something that came from all of this. A silver lining that made Magnus’s suffering worthwhile – Alec hoped he could find it, otherwise he wasn’t sure if he could ever get a proper night’s sleep again.

The rest of the night passed in a blur, quiet but understandable. Alec wanted to shower, Magnus didn’t, so they compromised and set up a pillow bed in front of the TV instead of stinking up their bedroom, laying down next to each other in nothing but their underwear before turning on the TV. Chairman Meow appeared a few moments later, making his way closer to them before meowing loudly and settling to rest next to their feet, giving them an accusing look that was far too judgmental to be coming from a cat.

“Sorry baby” Magnus cooed as he readjusted the pillow under his head, pouting as he looked at the Chairman. “It appears your dads are having a minor breakdown. We’ll shower in the morning, never fear” 

Chuckling quietly, Alec moved further under the duvet and rested his head on Magnus’s chest, trialing his fingers over his abs. “I’m sorry” he said for what must have been the billionth time that night.

“There’s nothing we can do. Let’s just forget about it” Magnus sighed and threaded his fingers through Alec’s hair.

“For what it’s worth, this whole mess brought you and your dad closer together, didn’t it?” Alec noted more so to himself than to Magnus, pressing a kiss to his pec.

“Maybe” Magnus mumbled and Alec looked up at him, offering him a small smile.

“I see the way he looks at you, like you’re the best thing that ever happened to him” it was true, Alec thought. Jack and himself might have gotten off on the wrong foot but there was no question about his intentions when it came to Magnus.

“Nonsense, He’s like that with everyone”

“No, he’s really not Magnus” Alec yawned and moved his leg on top of Magnus’s, hugging him closer.

“I’m sorry this—I’m sorry this has been such a mess, Alexander. I wish I could have spared you all this—inconvenience” Magnus admitted and gestured to himself. “I’m sorry”

“And yet I wouldn’t have it any other way” Alec admitted which earned him one of those smiles, one of the smiles Alec had come to love the most.

It was small, near unidentifiably where it barely moved his lips, and all eye – his brown irises widened slightly as they softened, shining like a million stars. 

Alec had never seen him look at anyone else like that, like they carried all the answers, and despite the fact that it was the single most intimidating feeling – having someone look at you like you solved world hunger -, nothing had ever made Alec feel more at home than those eyes and that small, uncharacteristically subtle tilt of the lip.

He hoped that his own eyes shone in a similar way when he looked back at him, and that Magnus felt it, too. How much Alec loved him, regardless of,  _well_ , anything. 

“You sap, you’re going to make me barf if you keep that up” Magnus joked, his tone low and wavering ever so slightly, and Alec laughed along with him, pressing his lips together – the room was dark, but he could still see the way the skin around Magnus’s eyes crinkled.

He looked happy.

“I wouldn’t be surprised. You have the weakest stomach of anyone I’ve ever known” Alec giggled and shielded his face when a pillow was thrown at him, landing on his head as Magnus sat up on his knees, his bare chest near golden in the light from the TV.

Crossing his arms in front of his chest, Magnus scowled, deeply and admittedly scarily, but there was nothing about it that didn’t scream  _you're the worst but I love you anyway_. “That’s  _not_ true”

Alec pushed himself up with his elbow and pressed their lips together, feeling Magnus sneak his arms around his neck – it was familiar, they’d done it a thousand times before, but it still felt special. Like the world might actually be on their side for once. “It is, you’re lucky you’re the loveliest person I’ve ever met, otherwise who kno-“ 

“Shut up” Magnus tittered into his mouth, everything about the way the words flowed out of him happy and content.

“I love you” Alec breathed and despite the noise from the TV, the whispered words overpowered it with ease, hanging in the air like a silent promise. 

“I love you too, Alexander” Magnus said and sat back, looking at Alec with an expression he only recently had started noticing was different from all the others – this one, where his cheeks would fluster, his eyes would burn, and his lips would twist into a small smile, looking as hopeful as he did excited, was more vulnerable, somehow. Alec wasn’t sure what it meant, but whatever made Magnus look like that, stripped down and bare, was worth figuring out.

And maybe that was it, he supposed as Magnus tackled him to his back, kissing his neck as Alec closed his eyes in pleasure – the silver lining. That they had been dragged through hell until everything was intertwined, limbs and feelings and hearts to the point where it was hard to tell where one ended and the other began. That even after everything, the beautiful good and the downright horrible, Alec could look at Magnus and unwaveringly say that he could not live without him.

Alec must have stilled because Magnus moved back and stared at him, his lips kiss-swollen and his cheeks flustered as he towered over Alec – he looked deep in thought and somehow completely sober. “Do you feel it too?” he breathed somberly and his breath tickled Alec’s cheeks, making the hair on his body stand up straight. “The way the world suddenly makes much more sense?” Magnus leaned closer and Alec shivered when he felt it, clear as day, loud and pressing as if the universe was patting him on the back and whispering into his ear.

_It’s been hard but you’re welcome. Look what awaited you._

“Yeah” was all Alec could say as he hugged Magnus to his chest, feeling their heartbeats race against each other as he stared at the ceiling - the lights from the passing cars casting shadows around the room. Alec couldn’t help but smile. “I guess I do”

 

\----- 

  

“Do you want to hear it?”

Alec looked up from the book he was reading, eyebrows raised perplexedly – it was the day after the party and they had just had dinner, the taste from the lamb chops still lingering in Alec’s mouth. He tilted his head at his boyfriend who stood in front of the sofa, his eyes weary as he stared down at him _._ Alec closed his book because  _was that a ukulele in his hand?_ “The song you wrote?”

Magnus offered him a sheepish smile and pushed Alec’s legs to the side, taking a seat next to him on the sofa. “I—yeah. Unless yo-“

“I’d love to” Alec breathed and beamed when Magnus gave him a sideways glance, his forehead scrunched up in endearment as he looked down at the tiny guitar in his lap. He was dressed in a khaki green T-shirt, shamelessly showing off his toned arms, and a pair of uncharacteristically plain sweat trousers - his hair was hanging to the side and his face was bare of anything but what Alec suspected was some type of light moisturiser.

Somehow, he’d never looked better.

“Here goes nothing” Magnus muttered and readjusted his position while Alec just stared at him, venerating at how utterly panicked he looked where he tried to get his breathing under control.

It looked stressful and quite uncomfortable, but it was so  _Magnus_ that Alec couldn’t help but reach his hand out and squeeze his knee in admiration – Magnus always did this, regardless of what it was. He poured his all into everything and while it stressed him out to no end it also made him groundbreakingly successful.

Alec realised it was one of the quirks he loved the most about him.

Magnus had his head tipped down, eyes tracking his fingers as he started playing and Alec felt his breath hitch, watching with wide eyes how Magnus’s ring-clad fingers pressed down the strings with an admirable unphasedness – how was it possible for someone to be so multi-layered and talented?  _God must have been in a particularly good mood when he created him_ , Alec mused as he leaned back against the armrest of the sofa.

Not that  _that_ was very surprising. 

The sound of the ukulele was beautiful, gorgeous even, but it was nothing compared to the soft humming that left Magnus’s mouth, the tone so delicate yet overpowering that Alec couldn’t resist reaching for his phone, holding it up to film the scene before him.

And god was he happy he did, because when Magnus started singing, when he started pronouncing the words he had written for him, Alec realised that he never wanted it to stop – his heart and his eyes and his entire being completely mesmerised by everything that was presented in front of him.

Despite the phone in his hands, Alec closed his hands and just listened – feeling, rather than hearing, every single word and if it brought tears to his eyes, and if he had to wipe them away to prevent Magnus from worrying about him, nobody needed to know.

_I always fear that I'm not living right_  
 _So I feel guilty when I close my eyes_  
 _The doctor tells me I've been saved, I'm fine_  
 _But please explain to me why my chest still hurts_  
  
_I spent four thousand on the Mart McFlys_  
 _Yet I'm still petrified of going broke_  
 _There's someone gorgeous in my bed tonight_  
 _But I'm still petrified that I'll die alone_

_I'm just so sick of being_  
 _Human_  
 _I'm just so sick of being_  
 _Human_  
 _I'm just so sick of being_  
 _Human_  
 _I'm just so sick of being_  
  
_My father calls I have no time to talk_  
 _But I can find the time to drink and smoke_  
 _Took 15 hits 'till I can barely walk_  
 _I threw up on the lawn, I can't find my phone_

_And I got no nuts to tell the one I love_   
_That he’s the reason that I wrote this song_   
_And that's some coward shit I know it sucks_   
_But Alec call me when you hear this song_

_I'm just so sick of being_   
_Human_   
_I'm just so sick of being_   
_Human_   
_I'm just so sick of being_

_See I got GPS on my phone_   
_And I can follow it to get home_   
_If my location's never unknown_   
_Then tell me why I still feel lost_   
_Tell me why I still feel lost_   
_Tell me why I still feel_

Magnus stopped playing and Alec could see him cover his eyes with his right hand, his fingers trembling as Alec turned off the camera. 

There were no words, let alone the right ones, that could explain how he felt so he just stared – his heart on his sleeve as he slowly came to his senses.

“Magnus” it was quiet the way he said it, full of love and awe and wonder, and Alec dropped the phone to his lap and moved closer to him, resting his forehead against the side of his face. “Magnus, I—I—that was perfect.  _Beautiful_. God you’re beautiful. Inside and out”

That made Magnus look up and when their eyes met, and when Magnus dropped the ukulele to the floor, complete silence fell over the room – it wasn’t strained or unsettling but—necessary, completely and utterly salient where it hung as a type of respectful reverence over the pair.

Until, of course, it was interrupted by Magnus huffing out a wet laugh, the man looking at Alec with such gut-wrenching desire that it knocked all the air from Alec’s lungs. 

“I wrote it in Hyde Park. It was late and I was tired, drunk even, and all I could think about was you and despite how much I wanted you, I couldn’t find the strength to walk back to the hotel room. That’s why I wrote it, so you could understand why I left all the time, in the middle of the night when you wanted to sleep and when I needed to sleep. It sounds dumb now, in hindsight, but then everything seemed—hopeless. Not you, you were never hopeless, but everything from the pain in my chest to the sleepless nights-“ Magnus shook his head and pressed his lips together, pinching the bridge of his nose. “The song was,  _is_ , a way for me to explain everything and—I—I’m glad you seemed to like it, Alexander”

Closing his eyes, Alec moved even closer, letting out a shaky breath. “Seemed to like it?” Alec echoed in disbelief, moving so he was essentially straddling Magnus’s lap, completely beside himself with--feelings.  _Yeah, that sounded about right. ”I loved i_ t, Mags _._ That was the most beautiful, well-sung, well-orchestrated, well-executed song I’ve ever heard. You’re amazing. I don’t think you realise just how true that is”

“Stop” Magnus mumbled and Alec thought he looked stunning as a blush crawled its way up his neck, making him tilt his head down towards his chest. “You’re making me blush, Alexander”

“That’s your own fault. I’m simply stating facts over here” Alec whispered somewhat jokingly and grinned when Magnus leaned into his touch, his smooth hair ticking Alec’s nose.

“How is it possible that you till make me feel this way, Alec? Answer me because it’s driving me crazy” Magnus said lowly, the words setting Alec’s entire world on fire because he felt it too, and he, too, wondered how it was possible for someone to come along and completely flip the entire universe on its axis.

It seemed ludicrous until it happened to him.

“You’re speaking as if you’re not doing the same to me” Alec caressed Magnus’s arm with his fingers, watching as his phone fell into his lap. Alec bit his lip. “Hey, Magnus?” 

“Hm?” Magnus hummed and looked up at Alec, his eyes warm and his smile wide as their noses all but collided.

“Can I-“ Alec opened his phone and showed the video to Magnus, raising his brows at him. “-put this on twitter?”

“ _On twitter?”_ Magnus exclaimed and moved back, scrunching his nose in what Alec thought looked like concern. “I look like a train wreck. My hair, and the mak-“

“Magnus-“ Alec interjected. “-you look lovely. Gorgeous, okay?” Alec offered him a sincere smile and while Magnus looked away from him, Alec could tell that he was smiling, too.

“Why do you want it on twitter of all places?” 

“Well-“ Alec commenced and kissed the sensitive spot just below Magnus’s jawline. “-I want to keep it forever, regardless of what happens to my phone and-” Alec trailed off and leaned even closer, pressing his lips against his boyfriend’s ear. “-I want the world to know how incredible you are. Sue me”

Visibly shivering, Magnus put his hands over his face, glaring at Alec through his fingers – god he was adorable. “You’re lucky I love you”

“Is that a ye-“ 

“That’s a yes, Alexander. But-“ and when Magnus lowered his hands, nothing but mischief flashed across his face. “-you owe me one”

“Anything you want” Alec said and smirked at him.

“ _Anything?_ ” Magnus breathed and straddled Alec’s lap with unsurprising ease, resting their foreheads together. 

He smelled of the white wine they had enjoyed with dinner, like his shampoo and like their laundry detergent. He was laughing quietly, repositioning himself in ways he knew would drive Alec crazy and—it did. It was nearly impossible for Alec not to get lightheaded when he caressed his back in wonder and pressed their lips together. “Anything”

 

\----- 

  

Magnus wasn’t entirely sure why he was waking up or what had awoken him but he found himself fumbling for Alec, cracking one eye open in an attempt to figure out where that horribly piercing buzzing sound was coming from. “Alexander?” he croaked out and pushed himself up on his elbows, the satin bedsheet resting dangerously low on his hips as he looked around the room.

“Hey” Alec’s voice whispered and Magnus squinted his eyes in its direction, feeling Alec caress his cheek – gently and slowly and the immediate calming effect it had on Magnus was admittedly beautiful. “Go back to sleep, baby. I’ve got it”

“Why is your phone ringing? Is everything okay?” Magnus yawned and sat up despite Alec’s words of wisdom, leaning against his shoulder to look at the phone he was clutching in his hands. It was flashing but not ringing – Magnus wasn’t sure if he was too tired to comprehend reality or if reality didn’t make sense in the moment. He knew that the world wasn’t usually reversible like that but he hoped for the latter nevertheless, rubbing his eyes as he offered Alec a small smile.

Even in the dark and despite Alec’s near abominable bedhead, just looking at him made Magnus’s heart melt.

“No, it’s not ringing, it’s— _look_ ” Alec’s voice was clear, as if he’d been up for hours, and Magnus felt his stomach twist in worry, scooching even closer to Alec and taking the phone from him.

_Buzz_

_Buzz_

_Buzz_

_Buzz_

_Buzz_

_Buzz_

_Buzz_

“What the hell is this? Are these form twitter?” Magnus breathed as he tried to get a glimpse of the notifications, his eyes burning with the effort it took to keep them open let alone the pain it caused to stare at the bright screen in the otherwise pitch-black room.

Running his fingers down Magnus’s back, Alec was quiet for a while, his eyes focused on the phone and his breathing quicker than usual before he looked at Magnus once more, his face twisted in both admiration and guilt as he spoke the next words. “Looks like someone important retweeted my video of you singing” he mumbled and much to Magnus’s surprise he sounded—sincere, dumfounded even, his shoulders slouched and his bottom lip wedge between his teeth as he pinched the bridge of his nose. 

He looked notably distressed and Magnus just gaped at him, eyebrows scrunched together in confusion as his heartbeat suddenly pulsed in his hears – he was too tired for ambiguity. He gave the phone back to Alec. “I’m sorry darling but you’re going to have to be a bit more clear, okay?” 

“The video has over ten thousand retweets, Magnus” Alec breathed, the phone still buzzing loudly and continuously in his hands.

Magnus just blinked at him, mouth parted in surprise. “I’m sorry, what?”

Then Alec smiled at him, that small, kind, drop-to-the-knees beautiful smile that left Magnus lightheaded and nearly gasping for air. “Everyone’s loving it. They’re calling you  _the singing professor_ ” Alec murmured and while he sounded both incredulously pleased there was also something much darker to the way he emphasised the words. 

Magnus just stared at him, wide eyed and gaping, before he fell down onto the bed again, wrapping the bedsheets around himself as he willed sleep to overtake him – his heart strumming against his chest and his line of vision blurry as the loud buzzing continued from right beside him.

_He was losing his mind,_ that was the only logical explanation.  _This wasn’t real and he was actually going insane._

How terribly inconvenient. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "...aku mencintaimu, aku hanya takut sayang" (I love you, I'm just scared honey)
> 
> The song Magnus *wrote* is "Human" by Jon Bellion, only in the story, some of the words are changed. You should go listen to it (the acoustic version), it's magnificent.
> 
> Thank you for reading.


End file.
